


Sins of the Son, Shadow of the Father

by Esperchild



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, Drama, Drug Use, F/M, Implied/Referenced Incest, M/M, Multi, Multiple Partners, Romance, Sex, Triggers, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 00:04:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 107,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10262117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esperchild/pseuds/Esperchild
Summary: Instead of joining back with the Alliance after working with Cerberus, Shepard decides to become an Information Broker on the Citadel. It has now been a year since Thane's passing. When Shepard runs into Kolyat at a party and experiences feeling's long forgotten, will the both of them be able to push past their differences and find love with one another? With Thane's return hinted on the horizon, what will it mean for all of them? Post ME2.





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

He had been watching her for a while. Trying to think of the best way to approach her. It had been almost a year since he had seen her last. Living on the Citadel, being amongst more and more humans, he had come to learn the beauty of their species. What was considered beautiful, and what to appreciate with their females. He knew she was one of those that were considered beautiful, and since the time he had seen her last, it had only seemed to grow. He could see how the males of her species stared. Their behaviors changing as she passed, the effect she had on people. Whether intrigue or fear, people were drawn to her.

He had seen other humans with her beauty. The way they would flaunt it or act superior. She was different though, could have been the center of attention if she desired, but she stayed close to the side lines, apart, lingering in the shadows. Part of him wondered if it was her Specter past, how she kept her back always to the wall, or if she just wanted to be left alone.

She had just finished her third glass of wine and began making her way towards the balcony. Her cheeks flushed, footsteps a little slower. Her movements were still fluid, hips swaying within the confines of her tight black dress. Bare shoulders, pale and smooth, revealed from thin off shoulder straps. Her hair was longer then when he had last seen her, almost a foot more in length than before. Blood red tendrils cascading down her back in waves of shiny gloss. Kolyat had always wanted to know what a human’s hair felt like, and curiosity had him wondering if hers was as soft as it looked.

She made her way through the open archway and out into the darkness of the terrace. He continued following her, grabbing a glass of wine from a passing server as he gathered his composure and tried to think of what he might say to her. He pulled himself into the shadows as to not be seen while he continued studying her. Stopping before the balcony she rested her hands upon the smooth white marble. Her eyes were unfocused, her gaze far away as she stared at a single point in the distance, almost as if she was going through a memory. Her expression seemed empty and she radiated a deep sadness and an almost lonely air. Kolyat swallowed hard, unsure if he should approach her and break her solitude.

“Shepard.” A man’s voice called out to her breaking the silence. Kolyat immediately positioned himself deeper into the shadows. Shepard's whole body grew rigid, back straightening, shoulders tense. She turned her head and everything her expression held was gone in an instance. Her stare turned cold, sharp, they were the eyes of a Specter.

“Kaidan. I’m surprised to see you here.” Her voice was low and empty as she turned her body towards him, arms crossing over her chest. Kolyat had never seen this human before. Was he friend or enemy? Judging by her posture, he could tell she wasn’t too thrilled to see him.

“I could say the same of you.” The black haired man’s lips were pulled thin as he moved closer towards her. His own eyes hard, chin flexing in stiff discomfort. “Anderson asked me to come here. You know how these events are. We have to show that the Alliance shows their support regarding Citadel security.”

“I see.” She said plainly. Her eyes moving back over the balcony, the silence stretching out between them. Kolyat wanted to laugh as he watched, seeing how uncomfortable she was making the human male. “So, how’ve you been?”

“Good actually. I was with the council recently. There are talks about making me a Specter.”

“Really?” Shepard turned back to look at him, interest back in her eyes. “Kaidan, I’m happy for you. It’s a great honor.”

“Well I guess I have you to thank in a way.”

“You did it on your own, you don’t have to thank me.”

“Perhaps.” Kaidan grinned taking a sip from his champagne glass. Kolyat had a sudden urge to slap that smug expression off the humans face. “What about you?”

“Great. Fantastic.” She replied with a hint of bitter anger. Kaidan stared at her in blank reflection. Kolyat shifted, feeling the air turn heavy between them as the silence stretched once more. He could sense that whatever had happened between these two was not entirely finished business.

“I heard some interesting rumors about you. I almost didn’t want to believe them.”

“Almost?”

“Don’t play coy Shepard. That is not who you are.” She crossed her arms back over her chest her eyes turning cold. She stared him down, waiting for him to speak. “You’re an information broker now?”

“Everyone needs to make a living Kaidan, even me.”

“You don’t deny it? You left Cerberus and straight out of incarceration you skirt the law by selling information. Do you answer to the Shadow Broker too?”

“What is it you want Kaidan? You saw me and decided to gloat? To rub it in my face that you are being chosen as the next human Specter?”

“You sound almost bitter.”

“It’s true I broke off with Cerberus and the Alliance grounded me. Took away my ship, my crew, and stripped me of my Specter status. I am not bitter. I did what had to be done. I always did, no matter the circumstances, but now…now I’m done.”

“You blew up an entire Batarian system! Did you think you would just walk away from the repercussions?” Kolyat watched the fire in her eyes die down, the pain and regret flood within their depths.

“That has never been proven. You weren’t there, you don’t know half the things that happened, half of what I was forced to decide between.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I don’t give a shit what you believe.” Kaidan tensed his jaw in anger, his eyes flashing darkly as they narrowed. Shepard held her head high, meeting his eyes defiantly. Kolyat watched in admiration. The stories his father told him about her courage and demeanor evident in the way she acted towards the human male, who stood more than a head taller than her.

“Anderson told me the Reapers were delayed because of your actions, although they don’t know for how long. Maybe indefinitely, maybe just not in this lifetime or perhaps they could even show up tomorrow. The end result though, you turned your back on the Alliance. Became a traitor and mass murderer. Did you expect them to welcome you back with open arms? How far have you fallen Shepard? The so called Hero of the Citadel?”

“You don’t understand anything Kaidan.” Shepard turned away from him to leave but the black haired man blocked her path quickly.

“I heard something else, also.”

“And I take it you’re going to enlighten me?”

“I heard that you found yourself another lover. A drell. Couldn’t even keep it in your own species, could you?”

Kolyat could almost physically feel the whole atmosphere shift around her. One second calm and calculating, the next a raging fire. He could feel his own anger rising up at the mention of his father. Wherever this human received his information, he obviously didn’t know that his father had returned to the deep almost a year ago. Kolyat smiled to himself as an idea formed in his mind and he quickly grabbed a small plate of sliced strawberries from another passing server.

Shepard’s hands began to shake in anger. Her knuckles turning white as she balled her hands into fists. Biotic energy beginning to seep through her skin and light up the darkness.

“Don’t you dare bring him into this!” She spat venomously, her lips pulled back from her teeth, seething. Taking a step forward she poked her finger into Kaidan’s chest roughly. The human male grabbed her wrist and pulled her to him with more force than needed. She lost her footing in her high heels and he caught her as she stumbled. Biotic energy rose in the man’s own hands as their emotions escalated. She glared up at him, murder in her eyes.

“Tell me something Shepard. Did you fuck him the first time right before you took on that Collector Base? Nothing like the thought of death to spread your legs for the next man.”

“Fuck you, Kaidan.”

“Sarah?” Kolyat called out loudly from the darkness, coming around the marble beam he hid behind as if he was still looking for her. They moved away from one another quickly, no more trace of biotic power between them. Both turned to stare at him and once Shepard saw who had called her name, her eyes widened slightly in surprise and she forced herself to move further away from the black haired human.

“Kolyat.” He could hear the uncertainty and confusion in her voice, but he did not let her hesitation slow him down. He walked over to her with purpose, as if he had every right to be there.

“I am sorry I took so long.” He spoke softly as he easily walked in between them bringing his body close to Shepard’s. His presence now invading the human male’s personal space, forcing him to back up further away from them. He ignored Kaidan and handed Shepard the full glass of Champagne. Her gaze softened and she smiled softly when she finally realized what he was doing. “It took me a while to find the food you asked for.”

Kolyat took a strawberry off the plate and held it up to her mouth. Her eyes widened a fraction, and he stared at her patiently for a moment, until she understood what he wanted her to do.

“Thank you.” She said meekly. Opening her mouth for him to feed her. He slowly placed the red fruit on her tongue, his fingers grazing her red stained lips. Their eyes met and he suddenly felt a confusing pressure that tightened his chest. Her cheeks flushed a slight pink. She chewed slowly their eyes never leaving one another’s. Kolyat grinned and popped one of the pieces into his own mouth.

He rested the plate on the balcony and snaked his hand around her hip pulling her against him. He could feel her whole body stiffen at his touch but thankfully didn’t push him away. He trailed his lips softly up her cheek and whispered in her ear just loud enough for her to barely hear him.

“Play along.”

Almost immediately, her body started to relax and she turned her face towards his. A soft smile played along her lips that were suddenly so near his own. She pushed herself flush against him, her soft curves pressed against his hardened muscles. It was the first time he had felt a human’s body. Did they all feel this fragile?

“I missed you. I didn’t mean to put you through so much trouble.” Her breath held a hint of the champaign, but her skin smelled sweet. Kolyat had a sudden urge to sniff her scent deeply, but he decided to do something he had been wondering about for a long time. He brushed his fingers over her cheek, feeling the smoothness of her warm flesh. The delicate bones of her face. He playfully grasped her chin, bringing her eyes back up to look at him. The top of her head just reaching his lips.

“You can make it up to me later.” He made sure to say it loud enough for the other male to hear. He watched the color of Shepard’s eyes shift and grow darker, her cheeks growing warmer as the red flush deepened. Just like Drell’s, he had learned in his time with C-Sec that humans cheeks would darken when they were embarrassed or mad. He never had an opportunity to really see it though, and his fingers on her face indicated that their temperatures went up also. Interesting. Maybe that last bit was him going too far?

His eyes flicked to the man they were entertaining. Kolyat could feel the humans rage like invisible waves off an oceans storm. His knuckles turning white as he gripped the wine glass and Kolyat secretly wished it would shatter in his hand.

“So, who’s your friend?” He said uncaringly, eating another strawberry from their plate on the railing.

“I was just about to ask you the same thing.” Kaidan all but snarled. Shepard looked at the other male and smiled smugly.

“I thought you said you heard the rumors? You tell me.”

“Rumors?” Kolyat asked playing dumb. “What rumors?”

“Apparently I have a drell lover.” Shepard stated casually, suddenly drinking from her glass of champagne a little too quickly. The movement caught Kolyat’s attention and he took the glass from her with minimal complaint before she drained it completely.

“Is there something wrong with that?”

“I don’t think so.”

Kolyat made sure to meet Kaiden's eyes as he brought the glass to his lips and finished her champagne. He turned and stared into her eyes, suddenly frozen by the true green of them. She smiled at him and he couldn't help but smile back. He should have ended it there but her presence was effecting him in a way that he never felt before. His breath caught in his throat and the question left his lips before he could stop it.

“Why is that?” His voice was gravelly and deep, and he was only slightly aware of the human male shifting uncomfortably next to them, his presence fading into the background. The only thing that suddenly existed was the depth of her eyes. She lowered her gaze a moment, her hand reaching out to run up his chest. He could feel her warmth through his leathers, her existence like an aura of strength. She played with the zippers of his leather vest, and his chest constricted once more as their gazes met and her hand softly touched the frills at his neck. Kolyat had to control himself from dropping the wine glass and sighing into her touch as her fingers teased him. Here he thought he had gone too far. Leave it to her to take things even one step further. The worst of it was his primal instincts wished she would.

“Because…” Her voice was husky now and she licked her lips, so close to his own. Shit, he was starting to get turned on. “When I start screaming your name, no human could ever compare.”

Kolyat suddenly had trouble swallowing, dread from his reaction to her causing panic to well up in him. This was his father’s ex-lover. A woman who could have possibly been his mother, despite her age, if his father still lived. He could count the conversations he had with her on one hand. She was the Hero of the Citadel for fucks sake, and his body suddenly responded to her as if none of that mattered and she was some female he just met. Not good. Before he had any more time to dwell on the matter the black haired human suddenly scoffed in rage, bringing their attention back to him.

“Un- fuckin-believable. You have some nerve you know that? Just answer one question Shepard. How does it feel to betray the people who care about you?”

She suddenly sighed and pushed herself slightly away from Kolyat. When her eyes met Kaidan’s, he was curious to the fact that they did not reflect the anger he knew she felt several minutes prior, only sadness.

“You would know the first thing about betrayal, wouldn’t you?”  Something passed between them briefly. Regret, unspoken words, and unfulfilled promises breaking away into silence. In that moment Kolyat realized that once they had been more than friends. What did he just get himself into? “Besides…who did I betray Kaidan. All my friends still care about me. I couldn’t say the same about you.”

Kolyat knew it was a low blow, meant to hurt and Kaidan reacted just as expected. He snarled in anger taking a step toward Shepard reaching his hand out to grab her. She immediately straightened defensively, ready for him to come at her, but Kolyat immediately pushed her back and jumped in between them. His reflexes were quicker than a humans, and before Kaiden could finish blinking, Kolyat had his gun out and jammed into his throat, right under his jaw. He narrowed his eyes, trying to control his outrage that this man would dare try to harm her. His voice came out dark and ominous.

“If you touch her, I will kill you.”

Shepard blinked a few times in disbelief at the quick change of events. Even Kaidan hesitated a moment before getting a hold of himself. The human male glared at him with new found hatred.

“Who the hell do you think you are? I should have you arrested.” Kolyat grinned and handed the empty wine glass to Shepard before reaching into his leather jacket to produce a silver C-Sec badge.

“I’d like to see that.” He said smugly putting the badge back into his inner pocket and pressed the gun harder into Kaiden’s neck, his thumb hit the safety and popped a sink into the chamber loading it. He knew he was being rougher then he needed to be, but he didn’t care. The movement made the human stumble back a few paces, spilling his drink all over himself and cursing loudly. Kolyat kept the gun positioned on his head refusing to trust him. He kept his voice emotionless.

“I think it’s time for you to leave. Before I have _you_ arrested.” Kaidan straightened himself, tugging on his jacket trying to regain his composure. Running a hand though his hair he smoothed it back and took a deep breath. When he looked back at Shepard his eyes softened a bit. His lips thinning out in a pained grimace as he sighed in defeat.

“I guess we're done Shepard.”

Kolyat felt her approach him. Her hand running down his arm softly causing him to turn and look at her. Their eyes met and she smiled at him serenely, quiet understanding passing between them. Kolyat lowered the gun and let her step out before him. A woman who was not afraid to face her problems. So many could learn from her.

“I hope this was the closure you were looking for.” Her voice was smooth and even. Kaidan searched her expression for a moment. Kolyat wasn’t sure what he was hoping to find, but then again the situation wasn’t exactly what he thought it actually was either.

“Yeah…I guess it was.” Without a second look the other male turned and left, leaving silence to suddenly stretch between them. Kolyat stepped away from her, hitting the safety back on his gun and holstering it beneath his leather jacket. Their façade was no longer needed and he did not want an awkwardness to build between them. He moved back towards the balcony, resting his back against the railing. He picked up one of the remaining strawberries, ttossing it into his mouth. He crossed his arms over his chest and waited for her to take a moment. Gods knew he needed it himself.

He watched her quietly, his eyes trailing over her body. The fabric of her dress hugging her tightly in all the right places, the feel of her skin was still fresh in his mind. The soft delicate texture of her flesh lingered on his fingertips. He was still stunned by the way his body had reacted to her, and he forced himself to look away before his mind wandered somewhere even more inappropriate than how they had just acted.

She stared at the floor, lost in her own thoughts, until ever so slowly her eyes rose to meet his. The green of them captivated him once again, his pulse speeding up in response to the bottomless pool of emotions he couldn’t quite decipher. Shifting uncomfortably, their attention was diverted as a human sever approached them and took Shepard’s empty glass. She nodded her thanks and took another full glass bringing it immediately to her lips. Kolyat frowned when she sipped it and he waved the server off refusing one for himself. 

“You really should slow down on those. That’s your fifth or sixth one now, isn’t it?” He knew his face was unhappy and his body language was more hostile than he meant it to be, but it seemed to not affect her in the slightest. Instead her eyes stayed on him, glittering mischievously.

“So, how long, exactly, have you been watching me?”  Kolyat blinked deliberately steady, he had already given too much of himself away. He didn’t answer her, but he didn’t have to. She smiled and walked towards him, closing the distance again between them. When she was right beside him she rested her arms on the balcony railing and looked back out over the Citadel. She sighed and took another sip of her wine. “You look like you’re doing well. You stayed with C-Sec," she paused. "That's good. I didn’t think you would.” Kolyat turned his body to mirror hers, glancing over at her periodically.

“I have to admit. I wasn’t going to at first. I had plans of leaving the Citadel, getting as far away from this place as possible. But it gradually became my home." He looked out over the Citadel remembering, "Then when Captain Baily offered me a full time position, I accepted.”

“You did it for yourself though, right? Not because someone expected it of you, or because it was the right thing to do, but because you genuinely wanted this for yourself. Trust me, you don’t want to be the person who tries to live up to everyone’s expectations.”

It was the first time Kolyat had been asked that. He was shocked by what she said and even how she was saying it. He had never thought about that before. At first he had no choice, it was because of her that he was able to walk free from an assassination attempt and skirt away with only community service. He would have been stupid to run then, becoming a full-fledged fugitive when he had only just started his plans of becoming an assassin. After he served his sentence though, it had become a different story. It was true his father didn’t want him following in his footsteps but at that time Kolyat was still unsure of how he wanted to proceed with his life.

C-Sec seemed to fulfill him in a way. It was slow progress and the work was grueling but he felt like he was making a difference. He even had some friends now and started to feel like he belonged. It was a complete reversal of who he formerly was. The tables had been turned and he was now the one being trained to find the people he originally so desperately wanted to become.

“You know…you’re the first person to ever ask me if this was what I wanted. Everyone just assumed that I would stay. They never questioned my motives. Then again…only a handful of people know how I ended up there. To everyone I’m just a normal rookie.”

“Are you a full-fledged officer now?”

“A few more weeks. I have my final exam next month, if everything goes well I will apply for Detective after.”

“Really? Detective? I didn’t think that was your kind of thing. I wish you luck though. You deserve to be happy.”

Kolyat watched emotions swirl quickly over her face before they disappeared as her lips went back to the wine glass drinking heavily. Her tongue darting out to lick her bottom lip, her mouth was painted in a deep red. Suddenly she stood up tall, a sigh escaping her lips, her eyes never leaving the sparkling lights of the Citadel. The glow illuminated her hair and skin in ethereal shadow. The look in her eyes was far away, making him think that despite her presence beside him, her mind was on things that he could not reach. Did she realize how melancholy her aura felt? Kolyat searched his mind to keep the conversation alive. For some reason he didn’t want to leave her just yet.

“So…you’re an information broker now?” Shepard’s lips twitched into a ghost of a smile, taking another sip of wine she stared down into her glass.

“I took over a friend’s office when she decided…to expand her business. I figured it was a good opportunity for me. I needed work and she needed help.” He was a little surprised that this was the type of work she was willing to do. How much had changed in the last year since he had seen her last? Did the Alliance really turn their back on her? He knew she was hiding a great many things, but it was not his place to ask.

“Kolyat…thank you. For what you did with Kaidan.” Kolyat sucked his teeth as he thought back on the human male’s actions towards her.

“That guy was an asshole. What was his problem anyway?” Something flashed quickly within her eyes and she finished her wine in a last deep sip. He could tell she was trying to decide on what to tell him.

“Kaidan and I were once together.”

“Did my father come between you?” He knew it was a bold question but his curiosity got the better of him. Shepard snorted back a laugh. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes a little narrower. She turned and looked at him, her eyes catching the reflection of the Citadel lights, her irises sparkled playfully.

“Wouldn’t that have been something? I bet if that was the case that conversation would have gone much worse. He probably would have attacked you, despite the fact that you had a gun to his neck. He only inquired about my Drell lover… why did you step in? I’m not saying I’m not grateful, but I didn’t expect that…and your impeccable timing.” She said that last bit teasingly knowing she had already caught him watched her.

Kolyat stayed silent as he thought about what to tell her. He had wondered that very same thing as well. He couldn’t understand why he spent most of the night watching her from the shadows. Being captivated by her presence, observing her every move. When he saw that human male corner her and interrupt her solitude his body had acted on its own.

“I didn’t want him touching you.” He admitted plainly.

“So, you still think you’re a tough guy huh?” She turned to take a step towards him, her eyes darkening with a look that confused him. Was she flirting with him? Before he had a chance to dwell further on that question, she suddenly stumbled on her heels the wine flute dropping from her fingers, and he quickly moved to catch her. He was faintly aware of the sound of breaking glass as his fingers curled around her shoulders, the heat of her skin a perfect contrast to his cool scales. She looked up at him silently. Her cheeks turning a lovely crimson with her embarrassment, but it was her eyes that held him entranced.

He should have let her go immediately. Help right her and move away, but something bade him to hold her tighter. Some unknown force keeping him rooted to the spot, his hands wrapped tightly around her arms. Her gentle pink flesh grew hotter under his fingertips. Their eyes remained transfixed and he felt her expression must mirror his own with surprise and uncertainty. She was now the one searching. He was almost certain that she could hear his hammering heartbeat. What the hell was going on?

Shepard pulled herself upright, relying her weight on him a little more than she should have. He knew the wine was starting to affect her. Her movements were more jerky and her cheeks became even more crimson hued. “Huh, I never knew that.” She was staring into his eyes hard now and the discomfort of their closeness was starting to get to him. He pushed her away gently, making sure her footing was correct before he let her go. He coughed and smoothed his hand down his leather jacket. Curiosity getting the better of him once again.

“What didn’t you know?”

“Your eyes are blue.” She stepped forward closing the distance between them, her hand going to his sensitive frills to gently caress his cheek. She alarmed him and he jolted backward his hips hitting the railing hard, his heel kicking the metal forcing him to remain where he was. She didn’t stop though as she closed the distance once more. Her hand trailed back to his cheek but this time he just stared at her, forcing himself not to react. He was confused by her actions now, but intrigued by her reasons for touching him in such an intimate way. Was it the liquor clouding her judgement, or did she simply not care about all the things that made this wrong.

“Your skin…” She started, her fingers trailing down the side of his face to his neck. He had to hold his breath to control a shiver that threatened to run through him. He wanted to groan and push his face into her palm harder. He suddenly felt ashamed by his reaction to her. Like she was one of the many women he picked up for his casual dalliances. He couldn’t control his hands and before he knew it, his fingers were curled around her wrist, his other hand touched her waist hesitantly, thinking she would most likely push him away or perhaps even shoot him. Her hip was soft and he could feel the heat of her skin beneath the fabric, tight across her body. He trailed his hand up to her waist, his skin skimming across the satiny fabric, his gaze intently watching the bold trail his hand made over her body.

“It’s not blue.” She continued.

“What?” He asked in confusion bringing his mind back from the precipice of inappropriate thoughts.

“Your skin. I thought it was blue this whole time but it changes in the light. Green and teal and then to blue. It’s actually quite beautiful.”

Kolyat closed his eyes and sighed, laughing at the preposterousness of their conversation. “And I think you’re actually quite drunk.”

She snorted and laughed, her smile wide and toothy as she made a sound through her nose in delight, leaning against him and patting his chest as if he just said one of the funniest things she ever heard. She leaned heavily against him and he shook his head at the situation.

“You may be right.” She giggled trying to hold in another laugh which only made her snort again. When the noise erupted through her nose, she laughed a little louder covering her lips with one of her hands eyeing him in embarrassment.

“Come on, let me take you home.”

“I’m a big girl. I can get home myself.” She said in denial immediately righting herself and pulling away from him but quickly swaying on her feet from the sudden movement. Kolyat’s grip on her tightened as he helped stand her up straight.

“And you’re full of shit. Let me take you home.”

Her eyes became serious as she regarded him. “You know, most people are too scared to talk to me that way.”

“It must be refreshing then to have someone treat you as the rest of us.”

Shepard was quiet a moment as his words sunk in. He knew he was being rude and expected her anger, but her reaction surprised him. She snorted again and laughed her eyes growing softer as she stared at him.

“Actually, it kind of is.” He quirked an eye ridge at her as she smiled and grabbed his hand roughly pulling him forward. “All right, I’ll grace you with my presence a little while longer.”

Shepard turned quickly to leave, pulling him along behind her, immediately losing her footing once again. She cursed loudly and grabbed his arms as they wrapped around her waist instinctively to steady her.

“I really hate heels over four inches.”

“You don’t seem to be very steady on them after a few drinks.”

“I’m actually not quite steady on them even sober. I think I spent the whole night panicking in my head hoping that I didn’t fall flat on my ass in front of everyone tonight.”

“I must admit I always wondered the sort of things that went through the Legendary Commander Shepard’s head.” Shepard laughed softly and held Kolyat’s hand as she balanced herself and kicked her feet out of her shoes, placing her bare feet upon the floor.

“Other than thinking of the best way to shoot myself out of any room, I think falling on my ass about wraps up my thought train.” Picking up her shoes by the straps she tossed them at Kolyat who grasped at them in surprise, doing his best not to have them tumble to the floor. She grasped his hand roughly in hers once again as he gained his hold over her footwear, and proceeded to pull him behind her, rushing through the crowded party.  He was a little alarmed at how carefree and liberal she was being with him but he was so intrigued by her actions he decided to just go with it.

Shepard blew a kiss to Kaidan and waved as she spotted him by the bar, his expression turning dark. Kolyat did his best to act as if her mannerisms were the most natural thing in the world as they made their way out the front entrance and into the night of the Presidium. When they were several yards away she released him and stretched her arms out widely, taking in a deep breath.

“Man, does the air seem ten time’s lighter out here?”

“You do seem more at ease now.” Kolyat said softly, walking past her towards the taxi station. Her shoes dangling from his fingertips. He caught her grinning at him from the corner of his eyes, feeling her keep up with him as he approached the terminal.

“Still plan on taking me home?”

“I said I would.”

Shepard leaned against the railing and grinned at him broadly her fingers reaching out towards him as he hit the call button his gaze met hers just as her fingertips grazed his frills. He stood their frozen, watching her expression become dissolute his own curiosity of her actions making his body incredibly aware of her presence.

“Aren’t you just the sweetest thing?” She suddenly gushed as she playfully and very gently slapped his cheek. He felt his frills begin to engorge as his body accepted her touch as foreplay. _Holy fuck, what is the matter with me?_ He panicked now, unsure if the look she gave him for a split second earlier was of lust or teasing. He hated being this indecisive with women. He was either going to fuck them or he didn’t even bother with them, unless he was working. This was a whole new territory and he didn’t like it at all. If she was any other woman, any other woman than Commander fucking Shepard, he probably would have been taking her back to her place for a very different and extremely dirty reason. _Stop thinking about that, she was your father_ _’s lover._

The taxi arrived just as his thoughts turned truly sinful, he tried not to look at her, concerned that his eyes might linger longer than what was considered polite. He opened the door for her and ushered her inside and he couldn’t help from wondering why her touch kept lingering. She grabbed his arm to steady herself her movements a little too fluid because of the liquor. When he was seated beside her, he waited for her to input the address on the small monitor in front of her, quickly waving his omnitool for his card to accept the charges. She gave him a look of disbelief.

“You didn’t have to pay for me.”

“I told you already that I would take you home. I think that entitles me to pay.”

“I thought you would think taking me home entitled you to something else.” She said quietly looking out the window as the car fluidly moved upward and into the travel lane. Kolyat blinked back his astonishment from her words, unsure of how he should interpret what she said. His throat constricted and he found himself shifting uncomfortably beside her.

“Where do you live anyway?” He asked softly doing whatever it took to ease the awkward atmosphere He was thankful that the inside of the car was cast mostly in shadow, making it hard to see the darkening of his frills.

“The Gemini Towers.” Kolyat had heard of that development. Two towers that stood near the center of the inner circle of the Presidium, usually reserved for high class society and politicians. One apartment was worth more than he would make in his entire life working for C-Sec. He glanced toward her, eyeing her dress inquisitively. Watching the fabric flow and shift as she crossed one of her legs over the other, chin resting on her hand. He remembered the softness of her dress when he had touched her hip. The smooth, gentle feel of it as his hand glided over her body. Was the dress made of silk? He rubbed his fingers over her shoes, soft material and small diamonds covering the straps on the toes. Those weren’t real, were they? She said she was an information broker and a sinking feeling in his stomach began to stir. She had told Kaiden she was no longer part of the Alliance and her Specter status had been revoked. How was she able to afford such luxuries? Perhaps she really was skirting the law now.

“What exactly were you doing at the C-Sec ball, Shepard?” 

Shepard stayed quiet as she continued to stare out the window. He was about to ask her again wondering if perhaps she didn’t hear him when she turned her gaze toward him and smiled broadly. Shepard leaned towards him her hand touching his chest, fingers playing with the silver zipper of his leathers. Kolyat sat up straighter, his body growing rigid as her hand moved to squeeze his knee, one of her fingers running over his leather pants. Her eyes grew hooded and she looked up at him through thick black lashes.

“I was trying to bring someone home with me to warm my bed.” Kolyat frowned at her, realizing immediately that she was trying to use seduction to avoid the question. Two could play at that game. Kolyat shifted in his seat, boldly running a thumb over her cheek until he cupped her face in his palm. He could see her eyes widen in surprise and uncertainty. His voice came out colder than he meant it to be, anger starting to grip his chest.

“Is that an invitation?” He gazed at her in determination refusing to back down from her game. He grasped her neck and pulled her closer to him, his lips just shy from hers. He wondered how far she would let him go. Would she allow him to kiss her? Kolyat had to admit he had always been curious about her relationship with his father. What it was like to become intimate with a human. He never could bring himself to look at humans in that way though, but for some reason he could with her. Just when he was about to say something else, the cab stopped and the doors opened. He released her almost reluctantly.

“I guess we’re here.” Kolyat ignored the look of disbelief on her face as he exited the cab and held out his hand for her. She took it gingerly, pulling herself from the vehicle and letting him go almost immediately. He kept his grin hidden, proud of himself from making her loose her composure. She walked past him, her bare feet making her eyes barely reach his shoulders. He never realized she was so much smaller than she let on. He supposed her reputation and presence made her seem so much larger.

They made their way into the lobby, the double glass doors sliding open as soon as they approached. The interior of the building was perfectly lit. Huge patches of exotic plants and flowers displayed along the perimeter of the large entrance, most of which Kolyat had never seen before. Double cushioned sofas and lavish décor lay around sporadically, exuding an air of extravagant wealth and comfort. He followed behind her closely noticing the sway in her footsteps, the flush evident in her skin from all the wine. A tan skinned Salarian sat behind a large reception desk, different security monitors peeking over the sides of the counter. He stood and nodded in greeting as Shepard approached him. She smiled and waved, his attention going from her towards Kolyat curiously.

“Good Evening Ms. Shepard.”

“Hi, Jerrod. How is everything? Did the negotiations go well?”

“They did, my family is just competing with one other now. We will know what has been decided in a few more days.”

“That’s good. If it works out name one of your daughters after me okay?”

“It would be an honor.”

Shepard said her goodbyes and made her way over towards the elevators. Kolyat could feel the Salarians red eyes following him glancing at her bare feet to the shoes hanging from his hand. He knew their race had photographic memory and knew every detail was being saved for later use if the need presented itself. When the doors of the elevator closed behind them Shepard leaned against the wall and avoided his stare.

“What kind of negotiations is he in the process of?” Kolyat asked trying to keep the air light between them.

“A mating contract.”

“I don’t know much about Salarians. I don’t work or speak with them too often. Is their bonding arranged?”

“Not exactly. They don’t marry like Humans or Drells. Once a year the females of their race will lay a handful of eggs. The families then decide with negotiations, money, favors, so forth who will get to fertilize the eggs and join their clan. They try to strengthen the family ties. Usually the ones who have more influence win the negotiations.”

“Salarians never have sex?” Kolyat blinked at her his face most likely displaying the horror that he felt. No wonder the ones he met were so uptight. Shepard started laughing as she watched his reaction. She covered her mouth to calm herself down as the doors opened and she made her way down the corridor and into another huge lobby area. A huge Penthouse Suite sign was engraved upon the wall. Kolyat stared at the sign not realizing that she had hit the Penthouse button on the elevator. He looked up to admire the huge crystal chandelier hanging from the center ceiling.

“There’s only two apartments on this floor. My neighbor is a lawyer, he’s almost never home and when he is, he’s never alone. One time I saw five women coming out of his apartment all sprouting that ‘just fucked’ look.”

“Is he human?”

“Yeah, that’s why it’s a little surprising. Fully satisfying one woman is a lot of work, I couldn’t even contemplate five.”

Kolyat snickered from her words but agreed with what she said. He couldn’t even imagine fucking five women, he barely fucked a single one more than twice, never sticking around long enough to keep going. He never considered anyone worth his time.

When they approached her door he watched her hesitate as her hand stopped right before putting in her security code. Maybe that was his cue to go? He said her name softly making her turn towards him fully intending to just hand her the shoes and leave, but her expression made him pause. She was staring up at him expectantly. A plethora of different emotions and thoughts swarming over her features. Was he reading this right? Was she trying to decide if she wanted to invite him in? Kolyat didn’t trust himself not to try something and everything about this just screamed inappropriate. He saw how she was at the party, how distant and completely disconsolate the air around her seemed. The emptiness in her eyes, hidden as soon as someone came into her vicinity. She was still mourning his father, he knew it in his gut. Perhaps she viewed him as a replacement.

Kolyat leaned into her gauging her reaction as he placed his hand against the wall, leaning his weight upon it. Closing the distance between them. He stared down at her, his gaze intense as he tried to read her. She leaned back against the wall, her eyes meeting his in unwavering patience. He dropped her shoes to the floor, the loud clack against the marble floor almost deafening. He grabbed her hand, carefully assessing whether she would pull away or not. His thumb caressed the top of her hand, tracing the soft flesh over her delicate bones. His eyes never left hers.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.” She requested huskily, her voice barely above a whisper. He could smell the sweetness of her breath as he leaned a little closer. His knee brushing against her leg.

“I’m trying to read the situation. I am trying to figure out what it is you want from me.”

“I know about your reputation with women.” She all but blurted out. Kolyat narrowed his eyes at her, suspicious but intrigued by where her thoughts were headed. Had she been keeping tabs on him this past year? Was she about to criticize his lifestyle? “I’m not judging you…I’m just curious about it.” She voiced as if sensing his concerns. Kolyat kept his expression neutral his thumb caressing the inside of her wrist.

“Tell me what you’re curious about.” He replied gently watching a shiver pass over her body, her breaths becoming more labored. Her eyes searched his, he could tell she was battling her own doubts about what was happening in this moment between them.

“I’m curious if…if I was anyone else besides Commander Shepard… would you be kissing me right now?”

He grasped her wrist gently, guiding it above her head, being careful not to over exert his strength upon her and bruise the skin. He placed his other hand against the wall to keep himself balanced as he leaned his body almost completely against hers, keeping just a few inches between them. Kolyat dipped his head down to the crook of her neck breathing the sweet musky smell of her into him deeply. His stomach tightened in anticipation and he felt himself grow hard as he thought about the rest of her body being as soft as what he had already touched. He heard her breath catch in her throat, his lips trailed over the curve of her neck, his own breath ghosting over her skin. He had a sudden urge to lick her, wanting to feel her pulse and see if it was hammering as wildly as his. Bringing his lips to the gentle curve of her ear he whispered to her confidently.

“I wouldn’t only be kissing you, I’d be fucking you right now.”

“You sound so sure of yourself.” Her voice was breathy and he grinned as the crimson hue darkened over her cheeks.

“Just confident. I was once told that women like that.”

He pulled back to look into her eyes and watched as they darkened and dilated. He watched her tongue dart out to lick her lips, the pink appendage moistening her ruby stained lips making them glisten in an almost begging manner. He wanted more than anything to see if she tasted as good as she smelled. _Fuck it, if she shoots me, so be it._

He closed his eyes and guided his lips over hers tracing the outline of them with his, savoring this last moment before possession, giving her the last opportunity to say no. He glanced into her eyes once more, her lips were half parted her breathing labored. He felt her free hand reach underneath his jacket, grazing the muscle over his hip. Without any further hesitation he covered her mouth with his. He reveled in the feel of her, noticing how her lips were exactly how he imagined them to be, supple and soft, yet able to return his kiss with firm demanding. He kissed her hard, feeling her teeth graze his bottom lip nibbling to show she would grant him access if he asked it, and he was about to fucking demand it.

He released her wrist and pushed himself off the wall, pulling away a moment to adjust his position. He grasped her hips roughly, leaning his body fully against hers now. He felt her hands wrap around the back of his neck, sending his mouth crashing back to down to hers. This time the kiss was fierce and consuming, her skin was growing hotter and he could feel the intense heat while he circled his hands around her tiny waist to dip down to the curve of her lower back. One hand dropped to the mound of her ass, the other grazed something hard. Kolyat pulled his lips away, about to ask what he was touching but Shepard’s voice cut him off. 

“One of my guns.” She said breathlessly her tongue darting out to give the frills at the base of his throat a quick lick. He wanted to laugh, of course she was armed, but instead he shuddered in pleasure grinding his hips harder against her.He knew that she could feel his arousal straining against her stomach. He never believed a human could turn him on to the point of how he felt in this moment. He wanted her, there was no denying it, but first he really wanted her to open to him.

He ground his body against hers once more making a groan of approval part her lips. He took the opportunity and devoured her mouth, his tongue brushing against hers demanding everything she could give him. His own groans of primal need vibrating from his throat from the new sensations he experienced. Unlike Drell or Asari, her tongue was moist and warm, only slightly coarse on the top, molding to him as he explored her sweet exquisite taste. _Goddess of Oceans is it possible that her whole body will adapt around me?_ He could already feel it in the way her body adjusted to his, fitting against him perfectly. His mind spun on the possibilities of what it would feel like to take her.

“You should invite me in.” He exhaled coaxingly between kisses letting her know that he would gladly make her moan all night if that was what she wished. Kolyat pulled his lips from hers to lick the side of her throat up to the base of her ear. He nibbled it carefully unsure if that would be considered pleasurable for a human since Asari and Drells didn’t have the extra appendage. She moaned as he bit her harder encouraging him on, her hands dropping to grab the front of his leathers holding him to her. He dipped his tongue into the small opening his breath caressing the cartilage, he glanced at the thick dark strands of her hair. Wondering what it felt like, expecting it to be as soft as the rest of her.

“Shepard, let’s go inside.”

“I…I don’t think we should.” She stammered trying to voice her denial but he could tell her resolve was failing. He bit her ear again causing her to hiss in arousal, his lips trailed over her jaw as he ground his hardened member against her stomach causing a sweet friction to build within him.

“Why not? If you want, you can pretend I’m him. I’ll even let you call me by his name if you prefer.” Kolyat knew the moment he fucked up. Her whole body grew rigid and she pushed him with all her strength. He stumbled back caught off guard and when he looked towards her in question the pain that erupted over his cheek left him dazed and confused. He blinked past the pain and looked at her. The anger on her face a stark contrast to the look of pleasure only a moment earlier. Her hand was still in the end position of slapping him and her fingers curled into fists, biotic power pouring to the surface as her arms started to shake in rage.

“What would even make you believe that, _that_ is what I would want?”

Kolyat righted himself and gritted his teeth as his own animosity rose to the surface. He glared at her his voice coming out low and cruel.

“Isn’t it? The way your body reacted to me this whole evening is proof enough. You see my father.” He all but spat. Shepard gasped, pain flicking across her face briefly and then…pity, before it disappeared and her eyes hardened.

“I think you should leave.”

Kolyat scoffed at her callously, narrowing his eyes at her he grasped the edges of his collar and righted the leathers that she had previously crumpled looking her up and down. Thinking he should have never even laid eyes on her this evening.

“Yeah, I kind of got that impression.” He said dismissively turning to make his way back towards the elevator. Just as it opened and he got inside he heard her voice call out one last time.

“For the record Kolyat, I was kissing you. Not Thane.”

His eyes widened from her revelation just as the doors closed before him. The shock of what she said making his heart speed up and hammer wildly against his ribs. For the second time in his life, this human woman had made him feel ashamed. 


	2. Chapter 2

_The skies are the darkest I've ever seen them. The deep purple growing black as an incoming storm approaches from the horizon. The clouds thick and impenetrable. It always rains on Kahje. A wheeze escapes my throat. Lungs start to constrict and burn, the moisture making me cough, my breathing turns heavy. The water weighs her hair down. Color slowly darkening. Vibrant red hues turning into the color of blood and blackness. It sticks to her shoulders, plastering to her face. The tendrils curling past her collar bone._

_The first time seeing a Human's hair wet. Does the texture change? She walks silently beside me. The yellow and orange robes clinging to our bodies, the wind flapping the material behind us in loud wet snaps. Her feet keep stride with mine, the gentle ringing of the bells tied around our ankles soft and somber as we walk keeping in tune with the mournful songs of the accompanying Hanar._

_Body laid upon a wooden slab. Wrapped in sea vines. Weighted with stones. Four Hanar carry him to the water's edge, signaling the progression has come to its conclusion. The songs grow louder. The striking melody drowning out in the rising thunder from the distance, 'this one's fire is extinguished to be rekindled anew". His body slowly slides into the water. Two Hanar break off, lifting the fabric and metal from the slab that lay folded by his head. The iridescent tentacles reaching out to hand me his leather jacket._

_I glance at the Commander her face is unreadable. The Hikari is handed to her. The weight of it dropping into her hands, fingers clasping roughly against the dull metal. Skin turning white from the strength of her grasp. She follows. I start to protest but stay quiet. Curiosity holds my tongue._

_His body is pulled further into the water. Her ankles now completely submerged. The dark ripples flow around her. She doesn't stop. Her waist is completely immersed and his body is out of sight. Tears stream down her face. Her lips tremble. I hear her whisper. Her words mournful, full of anguish._

_'Thank you Irikah. Thank you for letting me have him for this short time…I kept my promise and returned him to you. I watched over him the best I could, loved him with all my heart. ' Sobs escape her throat. Tears falling harder, unrelenting. She kisses the Hikari, pulls her face up towards the sky. Her eyes now closed. The rain falls faster, mixing with the moisture over her face. Chest tightens, breathing constricted as I watch her. Tears burning my eyes. 'Thane…wait for me across the sea'._

_She is there a long time. Silent. Unmoving. I want to leave. Tradition forbids me to go without her. I start to choke. I can't breathe. Taking deeper breaths I force my lungs to control it. My body is uncomfortable and cold. I stare down at the leathers in my hand, cool fluid material smooth in my grasp. She approached me suddenly. Glancing at me as she passes. I never heard her leave the water. Her eyes hold me transfixed. The pure green of them endless. I am held in awe. The eyes of Commander Shepard, but her soul is now gone._

Kolyat blinked in the darkness his eyes adjusting to the dim lighting as he came from his memory. He was laying on his bed, one hand on his chest the other behind his head, tucked beneath his pillow. Kolyat had relived that memory countless times. It was painful at first, remembering every detail of his father's funeral, but in time it had become a good memory. The moment of clarity as he realized what the Commander had truly meant to his father and what he had meant to her. In the little time that he had spent with his father trying to reconcile the past, he never really asked about his relationship with the Human woman. He knew they were seeing each other, but did not inquire over the details or why he even choose a Human of all things.

He had seen them together once, walking in one of the wards, they didn't realize he was there. He saw the happiness on his father's face, wearing an expression of peace and contentment. A look he never once exhibited when they were together. Her fingers touched his frills and he kissed the pulse on her wrist, an intimate Drell gesture. Before their lips even met, it had already dawned on him the full extent of the name he had given her. Siha, one of Arashu's guardian angels. A name not given lightly. He was angry at first, not understanding why he would give a Human the same name that he gave his mother. Angry that he had perhaps just looked for a replacement, but seeing his expression changed everything, knowing it was Commander Shepard, the Hero of the Citadel had helped.

_'I know about the two of you, no need to deny it.' Father clasped his hands together resting his elbows upon the table his expression remaining stoic. 'Are you angry with me?' I look away from him remaining silent. 'I was.' I admit plainly. 'But you are no longer?' He asks immediately. I can feel his eyes burning into me. I shift uncomfortably. The hard metal chair digging into my skin. The intensity in his eyes making my scales prickle in discomfort. 'How does she make you feel?' He pauses as he thinks. My question unexpected. He thinks I'm looking for a fight. 'She makes me feel alive.' My chest tightens as I see the happiness in his eyes. The love for a woman I have barely met. I scoff at him quietly, crossing my arms over my chest, 'I guess my opinion doesn't really matter than.'_

He groaned and rubbed his face roughly for which seemed like the hundredth time. Coming out of another memory, mind a complete mess. _I really fucked up._ He thought thinking about Shepard once more. His cheek still hurt but it was a pain he deserved. It was a lot less than the punch she gave him the first time they met. He would have never expected what happened to go so far. Never thought the night would end the way it did. Never thought that he might have actually fucked her if he didn't end up saying something stupid. His father's past lover. He had only been thirty eight when he passed, and yet he was still fourteen years older than Shepard and she was three years older than him. Perhaps things would have been different if she had met him first. Wait…what the hell was he thinking?

He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He had once blamed his father for looking for a way out of mourning his mother. Kolyat had been so angry, grasping at anything and everything to throw at his father to make him feel the guilt for leaving them and not being their when his mother had died. It was is fault after all. He knew it was a low blow. After he had calmed down and was told of his 'community service', he just wanted his father to hurt. He didn't care, he barely knew who he was anyway. He suddenly thought the same thing about Shepard and now he felt sick to his stomach. Did he want to hurt her?

A year had just past since his father's passing. She had loved him, he knew that she did. Then what had suddenly happened between them? Kolyat could feel her attraction to him and he could feel it with her, but why? He had always been intrigued by her, maybe he was more curious about his father's attraction to her. Did he just want to experience what his father had experienced or was their more to it? He knew it wasn't right for him to desire her, but…

_I pulled away adjusting my position, the soft supple feel of her hot and inviting. Grasping her hips roughly I jerk them against my growing erection. My fingers mold into her skin, the gentle flesh accepting my touch. She shudders, a low guttural groan emitting from half parted lips, angelic and arousing, more intoxicating than the wine. The sounds are euphoric guiding me on. I can feel her trembling against me, her heady scent of arousal blanketing the air, sweet and heavy. I push against her harder, the leathers straining against my skin becoming uncomfortable. Compulsion overdrives me, I need to taste her. Her mouth is scorching and flawless. The lingering taste of Champagne and Wine a subtle hint of something amazing, something that could just be her. Vanilla and some kind of foreign spice. My mouth begins to water. Her moans of arousal grow stronger I can smell her desire for me growing. The scent intoxicating and pleasing, I wonder what it would be like to taste something that smelled so alluring._

Kolyat groaned in aggravation rubbing his face yet again, turning on his side upon his bed. His member throbbing in arousal. He had never been so turned on in his entire life and he was angry that it was Shepard making him feel this way.

 _My father's ex-fucking –lover!_ _Commander fucking Shepard for Goddess's sake!_

Her taste, it had been like nothing he ever experienced. How do you describe the most exquisite thing you have ever tasted? Was this how it was with all humans? No wonder his father had been so entranced by her and now it had him questioning why he never glanced at one before.

The pulsing of his shaft was becoming almost painful and he moaned as he cupped himself, feeling the bulge through his tight leathers. He grit his teeth and opened his pants dipping his hand beneath the material freeing himself from the tight confines. He stroked himself roughly, his fingers pressing against the frills on the base of his thick member. He arched his back and rested his head back against his pillow trying to clear his mind. His fingers tightening as he reached the tip, his natural lubrication starting to seep through the engorged sensitive skin.

_She shudders, a low guttural groan emitting from half parted lips, angelic and arousing, more intoxicating than the wine. The sounds are euphoric guiding me on. I can feel her trembling against me, her heady scent of arousal blanketing the air, sweet and heavy._

Kolyat pumped himself harder but stopped suddenly exhaling loudly. He sat up and threw his legs over the edge of the bed rubbing his face in irritation once more. Rubbing the back of his neck in frustration. This was ridiculous, he was about to jerk off to Shepard and felt disgusted with himself.

_'If you want, you can pretend I'm him. I'll even let you call me by his name if you prefer.' The words left my mouth before I could stop them. My body jerked back immediately, pushed by some great force. Dazed I look up, searing pain flashing across my already engorged and sensitive frills. Her eyes burn into me, the wrath of a Goddess, fury and judgement peering back within emerald jewels._

_'For the record Kolyat, I was kissing you. Not Thane.' Surprise and horror grip my chest from what I had said. Shame making my heartbeat hammer against my chest._

Kolyat snapped himself back from the memory. He had no right to judge her, he didn't even know what had made him say that to her. He had really thought the only reason she had even acted that way towards him, flirting and giving subtle hints was because he reminded her of Thane. When he kissed her maybe he was trying to think of any reason why she would actually be accepting his attention than anyone else she could probably have. She could get any man she wanted, any species she desired. He had watched her ignore every single one who showed interest. Why did she allow him to kiss her?

His Omnitool beeped suddenly an incoming call indicating itself across the screen. He hit accept and he could hear the pulsating beat of club music immediately vibrating in the background.

"Kolyat man, where are you? You disappeared from the C-Sec Ball. I thought we were all going to Purgatory after."

"Yeah, sorry, something came up."

"Everything all right? You still coming? We've got a few girls here ready for some "alone time". Just waiting on you man." Kolyat remained quiet for a moment trying to think if he should go. "Kolyat? You there man?"

"Yeah…yeah I'll be there shortly."

"Great, I'll tell the girls we got one more joining the party. See you soon. We got a private room downstairs in the back."

Kolyat ended the call and leaned back against his bed staring at the ceiling trying his best not to think about the earlier events of the evening. Perhaps he just needed a distraction, a good fuck and a really, really, strong drink _. Fuck Shepard_ , he had better things to waste his thoughts on. He stood up, adjusted his pants and grabbed his leather jacket. It was time to get wasted.

* * *

Shepard was furious as she stormed into her apartment and threw her shoes down the stairs into the seating area. The black satin and diamond encrusted heels bouncing off the couch and onto the floor with a loud thud.

_What the fuck!_

She briskly walked to the far side of the living room in front of her floor to ceiling windows where a bar sat ready for her rampage. Pouring a glass of wine she gulped it greedily, downing the whole glass in frantic deep gulps. She had a tempting thought to suddenly chug the bottle. Her heart was still hammering in her chest and after the wine she could still taste Kolyat in her mouth.

 _Why did he taste so good?_ _Why didn't I try to stop him? Better yet, why did I flirt with him to begin with?_

She still couldn't believing that only a few moments prior she had almost been more than willing to let him screw her in the hallway. Had been on the verge of almost begging him to do it.

_But why?_

She sighed in aggravation slamming the cup heavily down on the bar shattering it accidentally. Cursing loudly and sucking her teeth she went toward thr kitchen to a small cabinet that held her broom and dustpan. As she made her way around the large sitting area she wobbled in her steps, dizziness and arousal flowing so forcefully through her body she was almost knocked off her feet, making her drop what she held and shiver uncontrollably _._ Shepard could feel the goosebumps of lust puckering over her skin. She stared at the floor, hands balled into fists, breaths coming out labored and loud.

Pressing her thighs together uncomfortably she was suddenly aware of everything around her. The silk against her over sensitive skin, the rough lace of her bra tightening against her hard nipples, the wetness pooling between her legs. The last time she had been this turned on was with- _Crap, the venom._ She turned quickly and made her way down the long hallway until she reached the master bedroom. Not even bothering with the light, she went right to her bedside table and yanked the drawer open. Searching frantically she pushed her gun aside and rummaged until she found a small vial.

Popping off the lid she sat on her bed and stared down at the tiny blue pill on her palm. A wave of sadness flowed over her and she sighed remembering the last day that she had to take it, a few days before Thane had passed. She forced the pain away and threw it in her mouth swallowing it like second nature. She sighed and stood up, quickly dropping her dress to the floor. Her hidden gun hitting the ground with a loud thud, before she fell back heavily onto her Calli King Bed. She was too drunk and too pissed to even care about the expensive fabric now crumpled up in a ball on her carpet.

Her skin felt incredibly hot and the ache between her legs was almost unbearable. Shepard closed her eyes and ever so slowly she moved her hand down her body, slipping it below her lace panties and against her dripping core. A wave of pleasure ran through her and immediately she sat up, puffed her cheeks in anger and let out a long breath to calm herself. _No way am I about to masturbate to Thane's son!_ She groaned as another wave of arousal ran through her. She prayed that the pill would take effect soon and ease the discomfort. It was one thing to kiss a Drell but she had licked him without even thinking, and without fucking him, the venom was incredibly potent when long periods of absence occurred. More than a year had passed since she had stopped taking the counter meds and her tolerance to Drell skin was extremely low.

Shepard turned on her side and slipped herself below the covers grabbing one of her satin pillows and clutching it against her body. She needed to wrap her head around what had happened this evening. Why did she even goad him on? In the beginning she was genuinely happy to see him. Surprised but happy. The last time she had seen him was at Thane's funeral and before that, other than their first encounter, maybe twice more. Never being in each other's company more than a few moments. This was the first time she had actually spoken to him and honestly she was surprised on how natural and calming it was.She was surprised how easily he was able to touch her and after six glasses of champagne and wine she even wanted to tease him. By the time she stumbled and he caught her, she had actually forgotten that he was Thane's son and not some random stranger. 

_And that makes it any better?_

She was such an idiot, she should have never allowed him to take her home. The truth was though she had been watching his progress after she saw him last. Shepard already knew that he had decided to stay with C-Sec despite playing dumb and questioning him, although she never knew the actual reason why. After his 'community service' which was disguised as a C-Sec internship, he had breezed past cadet training and been accepted into the rookie program. She even knew that he had already passed his physical and weapon tests and was just about to take his written final exam in a few short weeks to become a full-fledged officer. She didn't know that he had hopes of applying for the detective exam soon after though. If she had doubts about how sharp he was, those thoughts were squashed as soon as she saw him staring at her dress and shoes. She could almost see it on his face, how everything was clicking into place and that she had not actually been there to support C-Sec. Her only thought was to distract him and flirt, thinking that it would just make him nervous, but again he quickly saw through her and tried to turn the tables on her instead. Using his own seduction in turn.

The truth was she should have never lingered. She would never have been in that situation to begin with. Kaidan short of cursing her out, calling her a whore and then her tongue ending up down Kolyat's throat. She was there to exchange information with another agent of Liara's and leave, nothing more. Why did she stay? The truth was, which she didn't want to admit, was that she felt lonely. As more time past she could feel herself becoming more and more detached from the world. A shadow of her former self. She thought perhaps if she was around people, perhaps the feeling would go away. She knew when someone had showed interest in her, even knew that perhaps it was time to move on, but nothing inside her could force desire to surface when around anyone. She still loved Thane. That would never change.

Then by some sick twisted joke from God, she could feel her whole body come alive the first moment Kolyat snaked his hand around her waist and pulled her against him. By why? Why him of everyone else on the fucking Citadel?

 _Because he's Thane's son._ No, that couldn't be true. _Because he reminds you of Thane._ No, that wasn't true either, or was it?

Kolyat barely looked like Thane and even though Thane was really tall, Kolyat was even taller and a little bulkier in the shoulders. His personality was nothing like his father. He was brash and vocal, quick to speak his mind and even sharper with what he said, sometimes being cruel and harsh. Actually Thane could be pretty harsh too when he was trying to get his point across. His words cracking like a whip, sharp and painful when needed. She found out Kolyat was big on one night stands though and a frequent club hopper, although he never let any of that interfere with his job. He even had a girlfriend for a time but it ended after a few months, although she didn't know the details.

' _The way your body reacted to me this whole evening is proof enough. You see my father.'_

Those words had hit her hard and she started wondering about the truth of them, but she also saw how Kolyat viewed himself. Like the only thing he was good for was a one night stand. She was so angry but it also made her see that perhaps she wasn't the only one hurting. When he had made the move to kiss her she knew she should have stopped it. The inappropriateness of the whole situation sending red sirens coursing through her brain. Then suddenly her mind had went blank and the only thing she felt, tasted and saw, was Kolyat. For that single moment she just saw him as a man with no past attachment.

Then he had said the worst thing possible and it made her feel like the scum of the galaxy. Actually no, Kolyat should feel like the scum of the fucking universe for saying what he said to her. What would even make him think like that? At first she thought he was just humoring her with the playful flirting, she just wanted to see if she could make him feel uncomfortable, but when he had gotten serious and short of devoured her, feeling his erection press into her, everything in her brain had shifted. It had been forever since she had been that turned on and that was before the venom in his skin had even affected her.

_Shit, but he's Thane's son._

Shepard groaned in aggravation and thought that perhaps their falling out was for the best. Most likely he would avoid her in the future and honestly she believed it was better for them both if it remained that way. Although part of her thought if she did see him again she was going to shoot him for being such an asshole and assuming the worst. She didn't want to admit it but it was horribly true, in that single moment that he had kissed her, all the pain, all the sadness, all the loneliness and utter emptiness had disappeared when she kissed him back. _That shouldn't have happened._ Shepard moaned again as another wave went through her making her wrap her arms tighter around her pillow pulling it flush against her body. She had to make damn well sure that this didn't happen again.

* * *

Kolyat eyed the human curiously watching the way she moved her hips, the way she dipped her body and spun. He arrived at Purgatory shortly after he spoke to his co-worker, joining their private party in a downstairs room. He grabbed a drink almost immediately, taking heavy pulls until it was half way gone. He was about to approach one of the Asari girls on the dance floor but a Human had caught his attention instead. He took another gulp of his drink staring as she danced. Her arms flowed and her hips circled suggestively. Were Humans flexible? Could he bend their bodies better than an Asari? As if sensing his stare she suddenly glanced over. At first he wanted to look away, never before wishing to gain the attention of a Human, but curiosity forced his eyes to stay on hers, wondering if his body would react to her the same way it did Shepard.

Slowly a smile spread over her dark brown lips, interest sparkling within deep brown eyes covered in too much dark makeup. She was smaller and skinnier than he would have liked but then again he supposed it was all the same. All the women he ever met in places like these were only good for one thing anyway. He ran his eyes over her body, knowing this exchange a little too well. Any minute now she would come over to him and almost on cue she walked from the dance floor and approached him, swaying her hips a little too liberally.

"Hey there handsome, feel like buying me a drink?" The girl grinned up at him placing a hand on his chest boldly glancing down his body and back up giving him a once over. Her eyes were half hooded in lustful longing. Kolyat forced himself not to move, his instincts automatically wanting to shove her from his body. Her hand was clammy and cold and she smelled like cheap perfume, nothing like how he expected.

"You sure it's a drink you want?" He said roughly taking another sip from his glass. The girl grabbed the drink from his hand and drank the rest of it before handing the empty cup back to him. Kolyat snickered and placed it on the bar, making his annoyance clear as he glanced back at her.

"You're probably right. I should stay a little sober to keep up with the things I want to do to you." Kolyat narrowed his eyes at her unsure of how he wanted to proceed with what he knew she was offering. He felt no attraction towards her and was even more confused about his body and the fierce hunger he exhibited earlier in the evening with Shepard now. Maybe he just needed to touch her first, maybe he needed another drink.

"How about a test run first?" He said suddenly grabbing her wrist off his chest and yanking her through the bar behind him. She blinked in surprise and then giggled as she kept up quickly behind him, following without any complaint or fight. He led her to the back where dark corners and hidden alcoves just for this reason lay in waiting. When he found a shadowed crevice perfect for this sort of exploit, furthest from anywhere else, he pushed her against the wall roughly. She grunted in surprise, anger flashing briefly as she rubbed her shoulder absently.

"Easy, humans are a little more fragile than the rest of you."

"Stop talking." He said coldly, pushing himself against her, dipping his head to the crook of her neck to inhale her scent. The perfume was not entirely pleasant and he could smell something sour on her skin. His eyes adjusted to the dark and he saw a soft sheen of sweat, red hue's starting to emerge across her lightly tanned flesh. He thought humans did that when they were embarrassed or drunk like Shepard was, but perhaps some of them did that when aroused? He suddenly wanted to think back on the whole time he had spent with her, he wanted to see the moments when the Commander's skin turned pink in arousal if that actually was the case.

The girl gripped him crudely over his pants forcing a hiss to erupt from his throat, bringing his mind back to the task at hand. He turned his eyes to hers, already smelling her arousal in the air. Hers was musty and thick, not at all what he expected. Her lips touched his greedily wrapping a hand around his neck to hold him to her. She opened her mouth to allow him access and a tightness gripped his chest when he tasted her. He could taste the drink she had taken from him, but something heavy and bitter as well. Her tongue wasn't as soft as he expected but slimy and rough. _Something is not right._

Kolyat pulled away and blinked at her in confusion. Didn't all humans feel the same? He knew taste could change from person to person but skin of Asari or Drell's didn't vary as drastically as he was experiencing with this human woman. She pushed her body up against him her hands already on the buckles of his pants as she yanked on them to open. A wave of nausea surged through him and he swallowed back the queasiness grabbing both of her wrists to stop her from touching him further. He didn't want this. He didn't want _her._

"Why'd you stop?" The woman asked confused trying to push herself forward and kiss him. Kolyat turned away gripping her wrists with enough pressure to force a whimper from her throat. "You're hurting me."

"You're not doing it for _me._ "

"What did you just say?" She spat on the edge of budding anger. Kolyat let her go and turned immediately leaving her stuttering in fury as she called after him. He ignored her and kept going, not caring in the slightest about how nasty he had just treated her. _Another mistake._ He was on a roll with his fuck ups this evening. He needed to leave, he needed to be alone and sort out all these thoughts in his head. He quickly walked through the club, trying to tune out the dense atmosphere of too many bodies and the pulsing beat of hip grinding music. He needed fresh air. He needed to scrub his scales with sandpaper to get the feel of that human off of him.

Once he finally made it outside he hesitated for a moment, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. Why did he not experience the same thing with that human that he had felt with Shepard? Where her skin was soft, hot and inviting with a subtle hint of sweetness and spice, the woman from the club made his own skin crawl in disgust. Kolyat sighed in defeat realization dawning on him at the reality of what was going on. He was attracted to Shepard, worse than that he wanted her in the worst way possible. He knew he had always been curious about her from the moment that she had first punched him across the face, although at the time his reaction had be muted by the sudden appearance of his father.

Kolyat rubbed the bridge of his nose in annoyance. He had to make sure he never saw her again and keep his thoughts to himself. _This is nothing more than lust._ He had to rationalize it. She was the Hero of the Citadel, she probably had a plethora of men who desired her and thought the same thing he did. Eventually she might even be able to move on with one of them. He probably wasn't the only one who would fantasize about fucking her, although for him it felt even worse since his father had been the one fucking her at one point. _Stop thinking about that!_

"Hey blue boy!" Kolyat was pulled from his thoughts and looked towards the voice that called to him. An Asari slowly approached him. She had the softest shade of lavender skin, with bright blue almond shaped eyes. Her face was heart shaped, lips full and painted a pale pink. She was incredibly beautiful, but Kolyat was already past the game he liked to play. He had no more patience for anyone else this evening.

"I'm not in the mood right now." He spoke harshly, doing his best to dismiss her. She still approached him, a seductive smile forming over her lips.

"What's the matter? That human couldn't do it for you?" Her voice was mocking with a hint of sarcasm as she continued walking past him. He stared at the curve of her ass underneath her ankle length form fitting dress. The cream color making the lavender tones in her skin shine radiantly. He wanted to make a nasty remark but honestly he had enough for one night. Sighing he shoved his hands in his pockets opting for truth.

"No."

"Why did you go after a human anyway, especially that one? Drells don't usually do humans." She looked over her shoulder at him in peculiar interest. He snorted at her, a million come backs going through his head.

"Curiosity." He finally decided to say not wishing to get into anymore arguments or worse, slapped in the face again.

"Is it sated now?"

"Perhaps." The Asari laughed softly shaking her head almost as if she was regarding a child who made a mistake. Kolyat could feel anger rising up within him as he saw the judgement in her eyes.

"Don't those humans have a saying, curiosity killed the cat…but pleasure brought him back. If you want I could be your pleasure…and help you come back. You look like you had a rough night."

"Do I?" His voice was bitter and he narrowed his eyes at her in disdain. She stared at him head on, his expression not making her flinch in the slightest. Instead she smiled wider, placing a hand on his collarbone, she circled him slowly as she spoke, trailing her hand over his shoulders as she walked.

"You can go as fast or as slow as you want. You could be rough or gentle, I can do all the work if you prefer. I'll even let you close your eyes, you can think that I'm someone else. It's all the same to me."

"What does that say about your self-esteem if you let me think of someone else?"

"We all yearn for something. I take it that's why you were curious about that human." Kolyat blinked back his surprise by what she was proposing. What kind of woman was this? She was encouraging him to just use her. Normally this was the thing he would look for but for some reason something about her seemed off. She was too confident, too aware, and too lenient in what she was offering. If he refused her it seemed like she wouldn't even care one way or another. "I wonder what made you so curious to go after her."

"You don't know me." He almost snarled and she laughed sardonically the bird song of her voice making his dick jump in his pants.

"Your right and you don't know me. We don't even have to share names and you can call me whatever you want if you prefer. That's fine with me too. You can scream out your ex-girlfriends name for all I care, your wife, your boyfriend…someone you wish I was."

Kolyat remained silent as he thought. Maybe he needed this. Something to take the taste of the human in the club out of his mouth. He already could feel displeasure of replacing Shepard's exquisite taste with something that could have resembled sweaty balls if he was into that. He sighed rubbing the bridge of his nose again, deciding to give in.

"Where should we go?" Kolyat asked not caring anymore, he never once brought a women he randomly picked up to his apartment, but at this point he just couldn't give a flying Elcor's ass.

"I have an apartment nearby." She answered quickly.

"You trust me enough to take me home?"

"I don't take people home too often, only when I have a good feeling." Kolyat snorted back another harsh laugh.

"And you have this feeling with me? Sounds like a pity fuck." He took a step towards her and she grinned at him spiritedly.

"I can do that to if you want. I saw you smell her skin and grimace. Smell mine and tell me if you have a better reaction. Let me know if it is enough to turn you on."

She approached him in confidence. Gliding her hands up the sides of his waist and across his chest. He touched her bare arms lightly. Feeling the slight warmth of her beneath his palms. Her skin was smooth and he let her hug her body against his. Pulling on the strap of her dress he bared her shoulder, dipped his face down to the crook of her neck and inhaled her scent deeply. He felt the twinge in his nose immediately. She had a soft floral smell, some kind of flower he was not familiar with but there was sharpness there too, something not natural, something that suddenly burned his nostrils. He could feel his heart race immediately, a lightheaded sensation taking over, making him sway on his footing. The lights around him started to grow brighter and as he closed his eyes he could already feel the cobwebbed thoughts right on the edges of his mind.

"You have a synthetic on your skin."

"Enough to calm you down, enough for me to become anything you want. This one's free, I won't even charge you." He could feel the tension leaving him, the stress of the day fading away into the background. Of course she was a whore. What kind of person put synthetic on their skin to drug people into buying their services?

"You're a prostitute." He shook his head trying to clear his mind as every care started slipping away. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing.

"Don't mistake me for one of those common whores. It just so happens that I am in between contracts at the moment. I'm waiting for my lawyer to finalize the details." _Contract? Lawyer?_

"You're a courtesan?" He said in shock just as another wave of peaceful quiet took the place of his thoughts. The Asari ran her hands beneath his jacket feeling the metal beneath his coat, eyeing the gun in his holster. She pulled back the leather of his jacket a bit until the C-Sec badge came into view. She laughed ironically.

"It's a good thing I didn't try to charge you."

"I think I would have paid." He answered automatically unsure if that was the synthetic talking or himself at that moment. His grip on her tightening as she looked up at him smiling, pressing her body closer to him.

"C-Sec salary…you wouldn't have been able to afford me."

"I'm curious how much you actually make?" Kolyat could feel the purr of arousal starting to vibrate in his throat.

"Your yearly salary would probably cover me for about a week. But my contract requires you to pay all of my living expenses, clothes, jewelry and of course gifts. It costs extra if you involve your wife."

"Sounds like you're the one playing them." Kolyat ran his lips over her neck, inhaling her skin once again, feeling another wave of bliss over take him. Not even caring in the slightest if he got caught with synthetic in his system and being suspended as an officer.

"Not exactly. The catch is, I'm at your beck and call. If you commanded me to sit on my knees for 14 hours and suck your dick, I'm obligated to do so. If I don't obey, you have every right to punish me as you see fit, as long as it's within the parameters of the contract."

"You sound like a sex slave."

"Yes and no, it depends on the contract, that's why I have to wait on my lawyer. Make sure there are no loop holes. A final contract can take months to finalize…so…do you want me to call you anything, or will you tell me your name?" She ran her fingers over his frills, feeling desire starting to unfurl within him. He pulled away to stare down at her. Trying to think if he still wanted to play this game. _Fuck it, too late to turn back now._

"My name is Kolyat."

"Do you want mine or do you wish to give me one?" She licked his cheek sending a wave of pleasure shooting through him, knowing that the synthetic was clouding his judgement in the worst way possible. He closed his eyes, an image of Shepard flooded his mind. He thought about the heat of her skin, the taste of her mouth. He thought what it might have been like to fuck her. How hot would her skin have been when he entered her? He groaned when the Asari ran her hand over his growing erection, although he didn't think it was actually her making him grow hard.

"I can close my eyes? I can call you whatever I want? I don't have to think of you?" He opened his eyes and saw her nod, his breathing was starting to catch in his throat. _Don't say it. Don't you fucking say it!_

"Sarah." _Shit, he said it._ He swallowed back his humiliation from saying Shepard's name out loud. He could hear the soft laughter of the woman in his arms.

"Your girlfriend? Or someone you want?"

"Someone I want." He admitted pulling away from her, looking down in shame at what he just asked the woman to do for him. He was most likely about to get smacked again. She touched his cheek gingerly pulling his gaze back to hers, but instead of loathing she held deep understanding within sapphire pearls.

"When we get back to my apartment I want you to keep your eyes closed. Tonight…I'm Sarah."


	3. Chapter 3

 

Shepard awoke to the sounds of stampeding Elcor through her apartment complex, barreling and charging on her head. _Wait, are they in my bedroom? What are they doing in my bedroom?_ Shepard slowly forced her eyes open, turning her head as the sounds grew louder trying to pin point the stampede, her gaze finally focusing on the alarm clock next to her bed. She pushed her hand beneath her pillow, her fingers grasping around the cool familiar metal of her Master HMWP reflexively. A sigh escaped her throat as it dawned on her that shooting the clock was probably not the most rational idea. Pulling herself over, she slid to the edge of the bed hitting the blaring annoyance with enough force to knock it off balance and onto the floor in silence. Her movements felt jerky and her mind was nothing but a fog.

She rolled to her back with a heavy huff, covering her eyes with the bend of her arm, grimacing as her head throbbed in agony. _I didn't drink that much, did I?_ It had been a long time since she had been this hung over. _God, make the pain stop._ Eventually she sat up, her stomach turning queasy as a vertigo sensation started to overtake her. She had a sudden fear that she might actually throw up in her bed. Forcing one of knees to her chest she ran a hand through her hair taking deep breaths until she was confident enough that she wouldn't hurl. As time passed and her stomach calmed she rubbed her face and sighed as her mind suddenly drifted back on what had happened the night before.

_'I wouldn't only be kissing you, I'd be fucking you right now'._

She groaned as the night came flooding back to her. _Well shit._ Shepard's stomach began to knot as she remembered what Kolyat's touch had felt like, what his cool hands gliding over her hips could have been capable of. He had been so confident when he asked to be let in and the sounds of his voice alone made her want to succumb to him. There was a moment that made her not even care about the connection he had. She had always been a sucker for Drell voices. That erotic double tremor of sound that made her wish that there was a way to bottle it up and sell it. She would make a killing in the markets. _Holy shit, they should release an audio book series._ Their voices could make a child's book almost pornographic. They could probably make a woman cum by the second page of "See Spot Run"...or maybe it was just her. Shepard sighed to herself and laughed sadly. It was too early for this line of thought.

Pulling the covers off herself she slid to the edge of the bed and opened her drawer taking out another small bottle of pills to ease the tornado of agony spiraling in her head. She swallowed them dry and placed the bottle along with the counter venom capsules back in her drawer before freeing herself of the lace panties and bra she fell asleep in the night before. She was in desperate need of a shower and was short of nose diving beneath the warm calming liquid.

After she showered and dressed into a V-neck off white blouse with a billowing collar and a simple black skirt, she applied a small amount of mascara and lip gloss almost feeling like she was ready to take on the day. She picked up her discarded gun that was still on the floor from the night prior and stuffed that and her crumpled black dress into her purse. She knew she had three guns hidden in her office but hey, a girl had to have options.

As she started down the long hallway and past the kitchen she sighed as she saw the shattered glass and discarded broom still on the floor. She had completely forgotten about that. After she finished cleaning her mess she took a moment to stare at one of the exhibition cases that stood along the wall from the front entrance to the bar. A large rectangular vertical case held a black mannequin bust within the middle. Thane's leather jacket and Hikari mounted on display underneath showcase lights. She was always amazed how the dull silver never seemed to catch any illumination.

_Did Kolyats do the same?_

Thane's M-97 Viper Sniper Rifle was propped up against the busts shoulder along with his M-5 Phalanx and some extra ammo clips mounted on a metal stand beneath it. Kolyat had made arrangements not long after Thane's funeral for her to go to a storage unit and retrieve some of his personal effects. Some of Thane's other weapons and knives given to her were on display in her small arsenal in the back of the apartment. She still wondered why Kolyat was more than willing to give her most of his belongings, but they never got a change to talk on the matter. She doubted she would ever find out his reasoning now since she was adamant about never wanting to see him again.

Shepard glanced down at her omnitool for a time check and panicked when she realized the time. She was now going to be late for her first appointment. _Narissa is going to kill me._ Throwing on a simple pair of black heels that were already laying haphazardly by the door she started jogging through the penthouse vestibule and towards the elevator.

The trip to the Zakera Ward was quick and as soon as she got off her transport she briskly walked past a few familiar shops and around a bend to a set of stairs that led to her office. Walking quickly through the front door she was greeted by a lavender skinned Asari who stood up as she entered picking up a data pad and a cup of coffee. Shepard could already see the frown forming on her luscious full lips.

"I know, I know!" She said holding up her hands in surrender.

"If you already know, then why did you let it happen? Mrs. Bently has already been waiting a half an hour. I have moved back some of your other appointments and rescheduled two for another day."

"And this is why you deserve a raise, Narissa." Shepard smiled sweetly, taking the cup of coffee and drinking it heavily. She grimaced from the taste.

"It's cold!"

"Well if you were here on time it would have been hot."

"I'm taking your imaginary raise I just gave you back." Opening her purse she took out the crumpled black dress and tossed it at her.

"My heart is broken." Narissa said flatly, unfolding the black silk and examining it. Shepard opened up the doors to her office as the other woman's grey eyes narrowed in disbelief.

"Please don't tell me this is the dress from last night?"

"Yeah, so?" She answered uncaringly as she walked around a lush sofa set and two small tables set up for her clients towards an enormous desk. Sitting in her larger than life leather chair she liked to call it, she activated the three monitors that stood upon the lavish wood before her.

"This is silk Shepard. Do you know how expensive it will be to remove the wrinkles?" She retorted looking appalled.

"Don't worry about that." Shepard waved her hand dismissively. "Just send it to the dry cleaners for me." Narissa quirked an eye ridge at her, a sensual smile forming over her lips making her freeze and stare at her in uncertainty.

"You didn't take anyone home with you last night did you? Please tell me that is why the dress is in such disarray."

"You already know the answer to that." Keeping her voice quiet she kept her face as emotionless as possible trying not to give herself away. _It doesn't count if you never make it past the front door, does it?_ Narissa frowned again in displeasure when she didn't reply.

"Do you know how many calls you get a day from romantic prospects? You really should take someone to the New Cruiser Unveiling next week, get your feet wet…or other things."

"I'm not interested." Her voice was sharper then she meant it to be as she started typing on her key board to access Ms. Bently's case information. Sex, height, weight, profession, hobbies all coming up in lines of data for her to review. _Oh God, she collected porcelain poodles. If this was another cheating husband case…_ She heard Narissa sigh beside her, placing the data pad on her desk to fold the black dress in her hands.

"Shepard please, I'm worried about you. You need some happiness in your life. You're always alone. Worse yet, your always here. I doubt you were like this when you served on the Normandy." _No, I wasn't like this. I was actually happy._ She had friends, a purpose and Thane. Now she just felt like she was going through the motions. Nothing seemed to matter anymore, she had trouble feeling and that terrified her more than the Reapers ever could.

"You're all the happiness I need Narissa. I don't need anyone else in my life." Shepard joked suggestively trying to ease her.

"I know for a fact you don't do women."

"As far as you know. Maybe I'm secretly in love with you and haven't had the guts to tell you until now." Shepard blew the Asari a kiss which made the woman shake her head not at all convinced.

"You're so full of it. Look I'm going to set you up on a date."

"Please don't. I've never had good luck with that." Shepard said blinking up at the woman before her in horror.

"I promise I will make sure he's someone who will keep you entertained."

"Narissa, don't do it. If I wanted to be entertained I'd watch a movie, or rent a porno."

"The real thing is better than a porno Shepard." Narissa said dryly.

"Not if you get the right one. Do you see some of the things that are done in those movies? 'Hey baby, I got your cargo delivery right here' 'would you like a taste of my heat sink, it's locked and loaded for your pleasure'. I'm really into the beautiful stranger routine. My chair might turn into a slip and slide just thinking about it." Shepard adjusted herself in her chair and grinned shamelessly. Narissa just continued frowning.

"You're not going to deter me from this. If you don't go, I'm going to billboard naked pictures of you all over the Citadel, destroy your entire chocolate supply and wipe all of your computers. I mean it Shepard."

"I'm sure there's already tons of fake naked photos of me on the externet and I can always buy more chocolate. As for the computers I have backups and I doubt you can get past my security systems." Narissa crossed her arms in front of her chest and grinned defiantly.

"You know I heard a rumor and can easily get photos of you and Ambassador Udina. I heard you were actually taking him to the New Cruiser Unveiling and I heard you like it when he ties you up. I think I saw some videos that could easily be projected all over the wards of him spanking you."

"Please not Udina." Shepard could feel her face drain of color. Just joking about that made her want to burn her eyes out with hot pokers and throw up all over the place.

"Just try me Shepard."

Sarah hesitated as Narissa held her ground, her gaze a torrent of unwavering certainty. She was a little surprised by the forcefulness of her assistant. Usually her Secretary was mild tempered and sweet, never once raising her voice at her or causing a problem. In the last six months that she had known her, she had come to appreciate everything that she had done for her and could even regard her as a friend.

"Gary feels the same way Shepard." Her voice started to soften.

Shepard sighed at the mention of her other assistant. Were the two of them in this together? She looked into Narissa's eyes, watching as concern unfurled within them. How much was she worrying them? Shepard knew all her days were either spent working or sleeping. Preferring to be alone in quiet contemplation then out and about. Thane had passed over a year ago, but there wasn't a day that went by that she didn't miss him or yearn to see him again. They had spoken about it once, well it was more Thane scolding her and making her listen, and her wishing she could run from the room with her hands over her ears like a child. He had told her, he did not want her to mourn him forever. Had made her promise that she would try to move on eventually. He knew what it was like to experience love and loss and how it felt to find someone to reawaken those feelings again, but not diminish or replace the love he had before. Now it would be her turn, but could she do it? Thane knew that he would always remain in her heart and she still wondered if anyone could even possibly make her feel the way she felt with him. Was she ready to try again? _You were more than ready with Kolyat. Oh my God brain, please don't go there. That's his fucking son!_

"Fine." She finally sighed, knowing that now was as good a time as any to try and attempt this. At least a date would let her know where she stood. Although she doubted Narissa would be able to find anyone that could turn her on enough or interest her to even consider a second date. The Asari clapped her hands together in excitement.

"Wonderful! I'll have Gary help me. I promise we'll pick someone good. Would you prefer to keep it in the species? Or do you secretly pine for something else?"

"It's been awhile since I've been on a date with a human, that's fine."

"Who did you see before?" Narissa asked in intrigue. Shepard could feel the sadness grip her chest as she thought about Thane again, she knew the expression on her face had tuned melancholy and sad by the hitch in Narissa's voice. "It didn't end well, did it?"

"He passed away." She said softly looking up at Narissa and seeing the horror slowly enter her expression. She never told her about Thane, never told her much about anything actually, other than the public cover story. That she was retired from both the Alliance and from being a Spector.

"Shepard, I didn't know. I thought you just had a bad break up and…I didn't realize that's why you never…forget I said anything. I'm not going to set you up."

"No, you're right. Perhaps I do need this. I think there's been enough time for me to try and move on. Perhaps you'll surprise me. Perhaps you will find someone who doesn't care that I was Commander Shepard or a Specter. Someone who's not scared of me or will try to use me for a status boost."

"I can spot the assholes, I'll find one…but are you sure?"

"Yeah, just make sure he's tall dark and handsome. I get off on that." Narissa snorted and made her way back to her desk.

_I'm curious if…if I was anyone else than Commander Shepard…would you be kissing me right now?'_

"One order of tall dark and handsome is not exactly easy to find, but I've worked miracles before. I'm going to send in Mrs. Bently." _The porcelain poodle primadonna._ She had to fight a snort from erupting from her lips.

"How many appointments do I have today?"

"Seven." Shepard sighed and started to review her screen. She didn't want to dwell anymore on the matter. Today was going to be another long day.

* * *

Kolyat couldn't believe how dry his mouth was. He was already unscrewing the cap off his third bottle of water and gulping it like he was a man dying of thirst. After downing almost half the bottle he gasped in a breath and rubbed the bridge of his nose. _The damn synthetic is making my throat hurt._ It was a good thing the hit he had was low enough not to cause withdrawal. He had seen the junkies that would be brought in periodically. The way they scratched at their sunken skin and itched at their eyes when the drugs wore off. Most went through long periods of dizziness and vomiting, fevers and chills until it was out of their system. He was grateful for his higher immune system, but still felt the paranoia aftereffect about being discovered. It would be at least another day before it was fully flushed from his body. Thank the Goddess his officer test and medical weren't for another three weeks.

"Kolyat, you okay?" He heard his co-worker ask him as he took another deep breath and even heavier gulps from his bottle. "You're starting to make me think that you're not actually drinking water." Kolyat snickered as he capped his bottle and placed it on his desk, looking over to the human who sat at the desk beside him. The same one who had called him and dragged him out of his apartment to Purgatory the night before.

"I'm not feeling well today. Don't worry, I'll get the reports done."

"That explains why you dipped out so quick last night. If you need anything, just let me know. Do you need to go to the medical bay?" Kolyat stiffened in terror. If his blood was drawn and tested he was so fucked. He needed to calm down and get his shit together.

"No, I'm just tired."

_Act natural, don't give yourself away._

"Kolyat you've been studying every free minute for the last few months. I don't even study more than once a week. You'll pass the exam, don't over work yourself." Kolyat grimaced, it was true that he had been over exerting himself. Every day was just about the same. He would work long hours, study on every break, go home and study until sleeping. Lately he had even been putting his club and bed hopping on the back burner to focus on his studies. Last night had been an insane exception. He had been intimate with three different women in one night and just thinking about it made him feel sick to his stomach. That was a new low, even for him and he had done some really dirty things, with many different women.

"Is once a week enough? Are you confident that you will pass?" Kolyat asked his coworker skeptically, curious that he admitted to not caring as much. The human male just snickered and clicked on his omnitool pulling up an image of two Asari's.

"I went home with both these ladies last night. I think I enjoyed their company more than a C-Sec regulation textbook."

"Keston, if you keep whoring yourself, you're going to fail your exam." Kolyat frowned at his coworker as he closed the picture. He waved at him dismissively typing on his keyboard again.

"Don't worry mom, maybe tonight I'll have them take turns reading me the book as the other has their mouth stuffed on my lap."

Kolyat sighed and picked up the stack of data pads on his desk to organize them. He didn't tell anyone that he was aiming for Detective except for his friend Taran. He was the only one he really trusted. Not even Bailey knew what was going through his head. He wanted to do this on his own, without the help or string pulling of any one he knew. In a way he regretted telling Shepard and hoped she wouldn't try to step in and use any leeway she might have and push his application through. Everything that had happened to him in his life was because of the actions of others. He wanted to do this on his own, work hard and deserve something that he rightfully earned. He wanted to finally live his life the way he choose.

Kolyat worked diligently for the next few hours, finishing up several reports that were due next week earlier than he had anticipated. It wasn't until it was approaching his lunch break that Captain Bailey made his way into his office and stopped at his desk.

He was a stocky human, with a squared face and angular jaw who carried himself with confidence and possessed an air of authority. His presence was strong wherever he went and Kolyat found it amusing when people would scramble and panic into different rooms when they knew he was coming. Kolyat was one of the few that would always greet him and show respect no matter what. When Bailey's face grew sullen and bags appeared under his eyes, he would always take the time out and offer his assistance to him. He knew this caused whispers half the time and others would call him the Captains pet but honestly Kolyat couldn't care less about any of that. He owed Baily for allowing the community service request to be covered up as a C-Sec internship. He had helped in bribing the proper people to have his assassination attempt swept underneath the metaphorical rug. He owed this man a lot, and if whispers of ridicule from his co-workers was all that resulted, then he could deal.

Bailey dropped a data pad on Kolyat's desk, his eyes trailing over to his co-worker beside him who suddenly stood and excused himself. He could see Bailey's eyes grow distant as he watched him leave, his jaw flexing as he ground his teeth. It was impossible not to realize how much people tried to avoid him. Kolyat picked up the data pad and started to read it, waiting for Bailey to give him instructions.

"I need to speak with you Krios, A private matter." The last part came out in a whisper; he could hear the strain in the older man's voice. Kolyat pulled his gaze away from the report and looked up at Bailey before glancing around to notice that they were not alone. He stood from his chair and grabbed the jacket to his uniform. Doing his best to keep his composure and not panic from the synthetic in his system. There was no way he could know about the night before, right? _Shit, did he see me leave the party with Shepard?_

"I was just about to go to lunch; would you care to join me Captain?" Bailey smiled slightly and shook his head.

"Thanks kid, but we can speak in my office." Kolyat nodded and picked up the data pad and the stack of reports he was working on before following Bailey through the station to his office. Kolyat entered behind him, switching the control lock to red, trying his best not to show his anxiety. He could already feel his throat going dry again. Placing the reports on Bailey's desk he took a seat in one of the chairs in front of it, easing himself into a comfortable position.

"Are these the Annuals?" The human male asked taking a seat heavily, running his hand over the stack to peer inside one of the folders.

"Yes, they are ready for review and signature. Let me know when you are finished and I will submit them."

"I heard you stayed late a few nights last week. You know kid, people tell me I work too much. You don't want to be like me." No, Kolyat didn't want to be like him. Although Bailey was Captain he could tell his life was nothing but stress, aggravation, and loneliness. He had a vague thought about the personal sacrifices that must be made in order to be a leader in this time. What it must feel like when everyone looked to you as if you were the only one who could solve their problems. An image of Shepard suddenly popped into his head. ' _You don't know half the things that happened, half of what I was forced to decide between.'_ "I heard that you study through most of your lunch breaks. Are you nervous about your exam? Don't stress it kid, you'll do fine."

For Kolyat it wasn't about passing anymore. He had finally decided what he wanted to do with his life and did not want to waste any more opportunities. Too long had he been part of the tu'firala never knowing which direction he was going in, completely lost and pulled every which way by emotion and indifference. Never caring what happened to himself or those around him. Spending time with his father had helped him slowly see his errors, although in the beginning he fought tooth and nail to be the bastard he thought himself to be. Clashing with him on every little thing he tried to teach him. Kolyat originally thought that his father was weak and had gone soft over time. That he didn't understand his errors, or Kolyat. After all, he was never there to know anything about him and the door swung both ways on that. How do you try to connect to someone who says they are your parent who might as well be a stranger? As time passed however and he, matured he guessed and saw the peace his father had come upon by the end of his life, he recently started to think that perhaps his father did have it all figured out. His only regret was that he was still almost a stranger to him when he died. He wished he could have had more time or finally be able to tell him the conclusion he had come upon.

"So, you needed to discuss a private matter with me?" Bailey sighed and leaned back in his chair his expression darkening. Kolyat caught the tick in the man's jaw. He was angry about something and Kolyat could see that it was no normal aggravation. He waited patiently until Bailey decided to finally speak.

"I need a favor."

"Of course. Do you need me to stay late?"

"It's not that kind of favor. I need this done without anyone knowing. I can't have you seen in any way, or in uniform if you are. " Kolyat's interest peaked and he leaned forward in his chair. He knew that there were shady dealings in C-Sec but he didn't know that Bailey was the type to conduct double-dealings on the side himself.

"Why ask me? I am no longer involved in my previous exploits. Surely there is someone else who has better experience with whatever side thing you have going on? We never even had this conversation as far as I'm concerned." Kolyat narrowed his eyes in suspicion. Was it possible Bailey was testing him, trying to get him fired? Baily sighed heavily. Closing his eyes he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"It's not like that kid. Look, this isn't easy for me. If I had any other choice I wouldn't ask anyone at all but…I can't leave things how they are." Bailey's eyes turned determined as if he was trying to convince himself more than Kolyat. "I never told you, but I'm actually quite proud of you and the progress you have made by fully joining C-Sec. It's good to know that at least some people can be saved."

"Are you trying to butter me up?" Kolyat frowned although he was grateful for what the man was trying to tell him. His voice was harsh and sharp. He would not be persuaded if this was a test.

"The bottom line is I trust you, and I don't say that lightly. I don't even trust my own mother. You're perceptive and you see through bullshit quick. More so than half of these jack asses that work here. Trust me kid. I'm not trying to set you up if that's what you're thinking. I had plenty of opportunities to do so." Kolyat kept his eyes narrowed at the older man. Leaning back in the chair he crossed his arms over his chest.

"If I don't like what I hear I want the option to walk away without any repercussion. Will you give me that at least?"

"If you say no, I don't have anyone else to turn to anyway that wouldn't probably use this against me." Kolyat had not yet started studying vocal patterns to tell when different species were hiding lies but he knew Bailey. Had worked for this man for two years now. He knew he wasn't a bullshitter, preferring always to be straight and to the point. Above all, he hated the politics game. Kolyat frowned again but nodded indicating for the man to start talking.

* * *

Kolyat had read the file that Bailey had given him before deleting it and heading out. His nephew had been arrested for drug possession leaving his niece and two children without a source of income for originally, the next six months. Normally a drug possession charge was a minimum of a hundred and eighty days but with Kolyat's past skills with some hacking that Mouse had taught him, he was able to glitch the sentence down to forty-five days, anything less would have led to serious suspicion on the inside and could have pointed to Bailey. The Captain had to stay as far away from this case as possible, any involvement would lead to a suspension or loss of title.

The streets were poorly lit and deserted. Steam rose from open vents making the air thick and pungent, the acrid and vile smells wafting through infested crevices and grime filled shafts. Kolyat had spent much of his younger life in places like these, when he had first decided to be a hired gun skirting on the darker side of the law. Now that his life was different, Kolyat had to fight the urge to glance at every shadow and open doorway in suspicion, forcing the illusion that he belonged here. He had only been to this part of the Citadel once before. A quick trip when he was looking for a contract, the same contract that had led him to Mouse. Being here now though made him realize that no matter what planet you resided on, or what species you might be, slums always smelled like shit.

He followed the corridors and streets, twisting and turning deeper into the darkness until he came upon the address he sought. He paused outside the tiny dwelling looking down both streets to make sure to not be seen before he rang the buzzer. There was silence for over a minute. _Please be home, I don't want to come back here._ Just as he was about to ring the bell again, the door slowly opened and a small human woman peeked out at him.

"Can I help you?" She asked hesitantly. The woman held the door only a few inches open, blond hair and a soft round face barely seen behind the slit. When she had spoken, her voice had been rough and hoarse. Kolyat could see redness around her light blue eyes. He had interrupted her from crying. Kolyat leaned in close and spoke just loud enough for her to hear him.

"Are you Claire?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Owen sent me."

"You don't look like someone Owen would send. I have a gun, I suggest you leave. You already did enough; Ryan is taken care of, your men made sure of that." Her voice turned hard and harsh and Kolyat blinked suddenly unsure of what he could do to convince her. From her remark he wasn't even positive he knew what was going on now. _I really hate being in the dark about shit._ Bailey had just sent him to deliver a package to his niece, he didn't give too many details other than to not be seen and that her husband had recently been arrested which forbid any contact with family in C-Sec. Bailey was Claire's only family and was forbidden to even look at her file. He glanced around again to make sure they were alone, before reaching into the inside pocket of his leathers to quickly show his C-Sec badge.

"I don't know who you think I might be, but I assure you Owen sent me here and he had nothing to do with what happened." Kolyat wasn't entirely sure if that was true anymore by the way this woman was looking at him, but he needed to convince her enough to get him out of the open.

The woman blinked at him in astonishment opening the door she glanced around to make sure no one else was there and ushered him quickly inside, locking the door behind him. Kolyat glanced around as he slowly walked into the apartment noticing how void and empty it was, barely any furniture or personal items. It was just a single room with another door in the back which most likely lead to a bedroom. A single couch sat near the front door and near by a small table and four chairs that stood outside a tiny steel kitchen that looked like it was barely used. _And I thought my apartment was small._ The only indication that made him know people actually lived there was because of a few discarded pieces of clothing and children toys that lay haphazardly around. By the time Kolyat glanced back at the human woman, he saw the gun in her hands pointed at him.

"This is how you greet someone who is here to help you?" Kolyat kept his voice smooth and calm, lifting his hands away from his body and up into the air slightly to show her that he meant no harm.

"I don't know you."

"My name is Kolyat Krios. I'm a C-Sec officer. I work closely with your Uncle. He asked me to come here and give you something."

"Owen would never risk himself like that." Kolyat could see the tremble in her stance, her finger twitching over the trigger. She was no killer but he feared if she started shaking there was a possibility he would be shot accidentally. Should he tell her the truth?

"It's true your Uncle cannot be found to have any involvement with you. Your husband has been arrested and because of that by C-Sec regulations, he is not allowed to have any contact with you in any way, shape or form."

"Then what are you doing here?" Kolyat smiled at her despite the suspicion and apprehension in her voice.

"I just happened to be in the neighborhood. I thought I would stop by and say hi. Look, I'm going to reach into my inner pocket and give you something." Kolyat slowly moved one of his hands to the lip of his leathers but the women shifted her stance and grabbed the gun with both hands to hold her ground. He could see the sweat forming on her forehead, the ire burning in her eyes as her teeth ground together.

"Don't move!" I swear to fucking God, I will shoot you!" Kolyat froze in place, his hand almost in his jacket. Blinking at her slowly he moved his hand back into the air, trying to think how he could get her to trust him.

"Do you want to tie me up?"

"What?"

"You obviously don't trust me enough, so tell me what I can do to make you believe that I am truly here to help you? Either let me give you what I came here to give you and leave, reach into my pocket and take it yourself, or tie me up and then take it from me. Either way, I promise you no blood needs to be spilt today. Besides, if I wanted to kill you with your children in the other room I could have already done so, several times by now. I'm giving you the choice of how you would like this to play out."

Kolyat's voice was harsh now, but he kept his voice low and matter of fact. It was true if he wanted to kill her he could have grabbed her as soon as she let him in but that had not been the case. He needed her to understand how simple it could have been. How ridiculous she was being. He could see it in her gaze; he was starting to get through to her. The door in the back suddenly opened and she lowered the gun immediately hiding it behind her back. Kolyat lowered his hands but didn't move from his spot as a small brown haired child walked into the room.

"Mommy? He said hesitantly on the edges of sleep, rubbing his eyes, glancing at him warily. Claire walked to him briskly crouching down in front of him her hand running through his hair.

"Is everything okay?" She spoke softly positioning her body as if to shield him.

"Who is that? Where's daddy? When is he coming home?" The human woman hesitated; he could tell she didn't know what to say. The child's questions coming out more forcefully the longer she stayed silent.

"Sweetie…your dad…"

"He's working on a job right now. I came to tell your mother that it will only take forty five days instead of the hundred eighty originally decided upon to complete and then he will be back home." Kolyat spoke up knowing that the woman was battling what to say to her son.

"That's all?" Claire's eyes widened in surprise and softened as she searched his face. Kolyat saw hope appear, he nodded and smiled already feeling the atmosphere become calmer.

"I was able to pull some strings, off the record of course."

"I want to see daddy now. I don't want to wait." The young boy almost yelled, the edges of sleep starting to leave him. Kolyat suddenly had a very vivid feeling that he was suddenly seeing himself from years ago. He frowned at the comparison as it dawned on him.

"Your dad's working hard. He loves you; trust me when I tell you that if given any other choice…he would be here with you now." Kolyat swallowed back a lump that appeared in his throat, this scene hitting him to close to his own childhood. "You're the man of the house now; your mother needs you to be strong. Will you be able to do that for her?"

The boy regarded him thoughtfully staying silent for a long moment before finally nodding and kissing his mother on the cheek. She smiled and stood, tucking the gun into her pants against the hollow of her back as soon as he turned to go back into the room. She excused herself and went in after him. As soon as they were out of sight Kolyat let out a heavy breath that he didn't even know he was holding. Walking toward the kitchen table he stared at the plain metal rubbing the back of his neck. _Goddess of Oceans, how do I keep ending up in these situations?_

"Thank you…for saying what you did. It will be easier for him and his sister when she wakes up." Claire's voice sounded behind him, making him turn back towards her warily. Glancing at her hands to see if she would pull her gun on him again.

"I can relate to what your children might be going through, but this isn't about me. Can I safely reach into my pocket now without you trying to kill me?"

Claire looked at him apologetically and motioned for him to follow her towards the kitchen table. She guided him to one of the chairs and made her own way into the kitchen.

"Do you want anything to drink?"

"You don't have to waste any hospitality on me. No offense, but save it for yourself." Kolyat knew the remark was cruel and he could see the woman's shoulders slump as she turned around to him, sitting at the table across from where he sat.

"Things weren't always this bad. What did Owen tell you?"

"Nothing. He just handed me Ryan's case file. It listed that he was arrested for drug possession."

"He was set up!" Claire bit out forcefully slamming her hand on the table a loud clank resonating through the apartment. Kolyat glanced at the bedroom wondering if the noise would bring her son back out. Her eyes followed his and after a minute she sighed and looked back towards him.

"Owen can't help you, but perhaps I can. You have to be straight with me though. How was your husband set up?"

"We borrowed money from a loan shark. Ryan had some trouble holding a job and to get cash he started working for a booking agent. Everything was going well for a while and we even started paying back what we owed. However, out of nowhere the agent started throwing on crazy interest and making my husband take jobs that were dangerous and skirted on worse crimes than bookie. At first it was petty theft and then drug runs, last week he came home with blood on his hands. I didn't want to ask. I didn't want to know. Three days ago, our interest rate tripled again. Then yesterday he was sent on a run. The buyer was an undercover C-Sec agent. He was arrested on the spot."

Kolyat saw her hesitate rubbing at her arm unconsciously. He glanced at her wrist as she rubbed it, pulling up the sleeve a moment. He saw purple marks on her skin but averted his eyes back to hers. Someone else had paid a visit to her recently and he doubted her husband had done that to her. No wonder she drew a gun on him as soon as he entered.

"Claire, are you in trouble? If you are not safe here, I need you to let me know now."

"At the moment I'm safe. I just need to keep paying until Ryan is released."

"If I were able to get Ryan another job, would you be able to pay back the bookie and be left alone?"

"I think getting off the Citadel is the only thing that could really help, but even then they might find us."

Kolyat thought a moment. He might be able to pull some strings with someone he knew from Congregation for a job at the docks but getting them off the Citadel was something way over his head. That required a lot of credits to be pushed around and Bailey could not be involved. He couldn't even afford that kind of move right now and it wasn't just one person, it was the relocation of an entire family. The only thing that had allowed him to flee Kahje was the inheritance left by his father and that was done mistakenly which he had learned later on. What about a mining job on a colony? A whole family could be relocated with that, but he didn't know anyone with that kind of pull. Even if he did, they would all need new identities to allow their future safety, not including transport fees. That was even harder to afford and secure then the job. Maybe an information broker could help. _Shepard._

Kolyat let out a loud breath as he remembered that Shepard was an information broker now. Kolyat stood up suddenly as the idea fully took root in him. He didn't want to see her again and had no right to ask her for help, but he couldn't sit here and not try. Bailey had trusted him to help his family. Even though the thought of seeing Shepard again both pissed him off and excited him at the same time. _Would she even want to see me?_ _Can I even look at her with a straight face after what I did last night?_ No, he couldn't think like that. He had to try.

"Is everything alright?" Claire asked, blinking up at him in confusion from his sudden movement.

"I have an idea of how I might be able to help."

"You don't have to help, we got into this situation ourselves. You don't even know me."

"No one makes perfect choices, most of us have to pay for the repercussions of the decisions that we make. Good or bad. Your Uncle helped keep me out of jail. We wouldn't even be having this conversation if it wasn't for him and one other person preventing me from rotting in a prison cell right now.

"I know you lied about being an officer. Your badge was silver by the way, that means you're still in training. You can't have a C-Sec job if you have a criminal record." Kolyat grinned at her as he reached into the inner pocket of his jacket and removed a small box handing it to her.

"I take my exam in three weeks and then it becomes official, hopefully a nice shiny gold badge will be waiting for me after my test. I'll be back in a few days. You've had bad luck, let me see if I can turn it around, but you have to be willing to accept the consequences."

"So you owe my Uncle and he sent you?"

"I don't owe your Uncle anything anymore. He sent me because I'm one of the few people he can trust. I hope you can regard me the same."

Claire stared at him for a long while and he waited patiently until she gave him her answer. Her eyes hardened and she nodded in determination.

"All right. I'll take the chance, whatever you can do. I have no choice." Claire opened the small box revealing a credit chit and a small message chip. Kolyat motioned for her to wait a moment and took the credit chit from the box attaching it into his omnitool.

"There is always a choice Claire, whether you see it or not, it is there. The message in the box will delete after it is read. I'm transferring more money from my own account onto the chit."

"Kolyat, why are you doing this? I'm a stranger, you have no obligation to me."

"Because I feel like it. Because your situation is a little too familiar to me. Because you think I owe your Uncle. Because I'm such a nice guy. Make up a better reason if it makes you feel better." Kolyat transferred three hundred from his account and handed the chit back to Claire. It was all he could afford without dipping too low into his savings. His budget would be tight now for the rest of the month but he could pay his rent and still be okay until his next paycheck. When he started to leave he heard the woman sniffle behind him. Tears starting to flow from her eyes in quick streams. He glanced away in distress.

"Not to sound like an asshole, but please don't do that. I don't know what to do when women start to cry."

"You should just accept it." Claire smiled at him despite her sadness. "Even if you are not able to do anything more, just know that what you have already done is enough and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. My children will be able to eat now because of you and for that I will be forever grateful." Kolyat's throat started to constrict from the emotion that this woman radiated. He still wasn't sure exactly what he would be able to accomplish for her but he was going to at least make the effort. It almost seemed as if she had never received the kindness that he had just showed her, and if this was just one thing that he could do for someone in his whole C-Sec career. Then it would be a memory he would revisit often.


	4. Chapter 4

She rubbed at her eyes roughly, the strain of staring at her screens was starting to take its toll on her. How long had she been working? Shepard checked her omnitool and frowned when she saw the time. Fourteen hours straight. She stopped typing and stretched her arms yawning loudly, leaning back in her leather chair deciding to call it a day despite the fact that she had been working through the night. Unlike yesterday she only had four clients scheduled today, but what had taken up all her time was the data she received at the C-Sec ball. A large part of her day had been spent sorting and recoding the information to send securely to Feron. The encryption and transmissions were taking forever and she was almost certain Liara would make him check up on her soon if it wasn't completed by tomorrow.

She switched screens to check her schedule for the next day. Only two appointments were lined up but she still had a large amount of data to sort through to service the clients she already had. She had nine hours until her next appointment. Plenty of time to go home, shower and catch a few hours of sleep. Stopping the transmission she started to power down her computers and pulled a tiny data chip from the drive, attaching it into a tiny slot within the necklace she wore. Just as she stood to grab her purse and leave the intercom on her desk went off, Narissa's voice coming softly over the speaker.

"Ms. Shepard, you have someone here to see you. He is very adamant about meeting with you right away."

Shepard sighed and rubbed the back of her neck, everybody always treated receiving information as an emergency. Like everyone's life depended on it and it was the end of the galaxy if they didn't locate their husbands hidden accounts stored away for three mistresses or the missing jewels that the mistress stole that belonged to the family dog. Then again, Narissa said it was a 'he' so maybe his girlfriend was fucking the neighbor or disappeared because she found that Krogan dick was bigger. Maybe he was fucking the mistress who stole the jewels from the dog and kept the Krogan as his getaway dick because he just found out he was gay. Shepard snorted as her mind ran wild. She was tired and she really wasn't in the mood for anything else tonight. She just wanted to go home and relax in quiet without weird stories or compromising situations for a bit. Clicking on the intercom she pulled the strap of her purse over her shoulder ready to leave.

"Tell them they will have to make an appointment. I'm done for the day." Just as she was leaving her office she heard the intercom come back on and Narissa's voice call out in anger.

"Let go! What are you doing?"

"I don't have time to wait for an appointment." A familiar man's voice took over the comm.

"I'm going to call security!"

"Yeah, good luck with that if I have the mic. Shepard…Shepard are you there?"

It was Kolyat's voice. Why was he here? What the hell did he want? Shepard stared at the intercom on her desk in confusion, already feeling anger grip her chest. If he just thought he could barge into her office and demand to see her, he had another thing coming. He was the last person on her list of people she wanted to see right now, tied between Kaiden and Udina. She didn't even care if he came here to apologize, there was nothing on the entire Citadel that would make her change her mind and let him in.

"Shepard please…I need your help." _Well shit. Except that._ His voice was soft with an undertone of sincerity almost pleading. She sighed and a shook her head wanting to scream knowing that she had promised Thane that she would look after him if he needed it. _Shoving your tongue down his throat was not keeping an eye on him. Shut up brain, were not going there!_

"Give Narissa back the comm Kolyat and give me a minute." Shepard walked back to her desk and started powering up her computers once more. Silly her, what actually made her believe that she would actually get a decent night's sleep. Just when she was starting to force herself to forget what had happened between them a few nights ago, the very man that haunted her thoughts had to show up at her office doorstep. How did he even find her? _Because you told him dummy and now he knows where you live too._ She still wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. She heard shuffling through the intercom for a moment before Narissa's voice came back over the mic. _I guess I can't avoid him forever like I thought I could._

"Shepard forgive me, he yanked the comm off my head. I didn't realize Drells were that fast. He was really quick and I didn't want to use my biotics and destroy the office. Do you want me to call Security?"

"It won't help, He's C-Sec."

"You've got to be kidding."

"It's okay Narissa. I'll see him, let him through."

She turned back to her desk and stood behind it taking a deep breath to calm her already racing heart. Would it be childish to hide underneath the table and pretend she ran out? Just as the thought left her mind the doors opened and Kolyat walked in slowly glancing around periodically. His face was serious, eyes assessing the room and its set up critically. He really was sharper then he let on.

He wasn't wearing his C-Sec uniform. Did he just get off work? The blue lined leather jacket and pants hugged his body like a second skin. She secretly always hated and loved how erotic the Drell clothes were, conforming and moving with the muscles and curves of their tall lean bodies. Not all of them had the muscle mass of Kolyat though. She knew that his field training was the reason of his slight muscle growth and she hated to admit how well he carried it. A woman could get lost in his chest alone and if the kiss he gave her was just the beginning of what he could offer. No wonder he was a frequent bed hopper, he was racking up the experience. _Okay stop ogling the man!_

Shepard grit her teeth in annoyance. How dare he come in like a Drell wet dream… _wait, what?_ Forcing the terrible thought aside, she picked up the gun off her desk and aimed it at him. Kolyat's dark eyes shifted to her and then the gun, making him pause in mid step hesitantly. At least she now had his attention.

"Honestly, from what happened between us the last time we were together, I am not surprised by this welcome."

"What do you want Kolyat?" Shepard kept her voice hard and narrowed her eyes in calm irritation. Kolyat blinked at her slowly his own eyes narrowing as he studied her, the intensity of them unnerving. She could almost make out the slight blue of them. _If he just moved a little closer..._ Then suddenly he sneered at her and grinned, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Put the gun away Shepard, you're not going to shoot me." He said arrogantly. _That cocky little shit!_

"Are you sure about that?" She answered coldly clicking off the safety and loading the chamber. Did he really think she wouldn't do it? Did their first encounter teach him nothing? Despite that she only shot the gun out of his hand. She saw uncertainty flicker across his face and turn into displeasure, his voice was matter-of-fact. She had to give it to him, he was brave or incredibly stupid.

"If you wanted to shoot me, you would have already done it."

"You're right. I don't know why I hesitated."

Shepard fired her gun. One shot, that's all she needed. Kolyat stumbled back a step, she watched as the pain rushed across his features, his hand quickly moving to cradle his arm. She had aimed her gun to just graze him. The bullet ripped his scales open allowing blood to begin saturating the blue leathers turning them black. She already saw the bullet hole in the wall behind him and she grinned sardonically. _See what happens when you push me?_

"You crazy fucking bit-!"

"-You kiss your women with that kind of mouth?"

"I kissed _**you**_   with this mouth." He spat out venomously looking at his hand and the blood that coated his fingers. _What an asshole._

"You _**want**_ me to shoot you again?"

Kolyat gritted his teeth in fury his eyes burning into her with raging resentment but he remained quiet. She could see the effort it took him to keep his mouth shut by the tick of his jaw. She wondered if he grounded his jaw any tighter if his teeth would break. She put the gun down when his gaze went to his arm again, wincing as his fingers covered the wound. _Baby._ Taking a seat in her chair she eyed him stoically from across the room.

"Tell me what kind of trouble you're in."

"I'm not a fucking child Shepard. I didn't come here because I was in trouble." Sarah quirked an eyebrow at him intrigued now. If he wasn't in trouble what the hell was he doing here? Kolyat righted himself and took a deep breath to calm himself down. Shaking his arm he took a few steps closer to the seating area in the middle of the room. She saw that his blood had already started pooling on the top of his hand coating his scales, it had completely trailed down his arm. She had shot him worst then she thought if he was bleeding this profusely. He balled his hand into a fist, blood started dripping from his knuckles onto the floor. She frowned, she didn't mean to hurt him that bad. She didn't know why, but instead of sympathy she decided to egg him on.

"Would you mind not bleeding on my carpet?"

"Why? It is expensive to clean? Whatever side shit you have going on I'm sure you can afford it." He flicked his wrist causing the blood to splatter on her rug. The red blots already soaking into the lush white fabric. She huffed when he did it a second time.

"Are we still on that? You're such an asshole."

"I've been called worse and I'm sure you have as well."

Shepard forced back a snort. He was right about that, she had been called some pretty elaborate and colorful things over the course of her life. They stared at each other in silence for a long moment. He didn't move nor give any indication of speaking to her any time soon. He just stood there glaring, his hands balled into fists at his side, his chest rising and falling in deep controlled breaths. She sighed and waved her hand to usher him closer finally giving in. Maybe she could still salvage her carpet.

"Take a seat Kolyat. There's medigel in the drawer by the couch."

He hesitated for a moment glancing from the couch towards her and then the gun before finally deciding to approach the small seating area. _Good, he was learning._ Silently he opened one of the drawers removing a medigel she kept in there for emergencies. You never know when you would have to shoot your way out of a situation, right? Or maybe she kept them there just for this type of scenario. Shooting someone who made her upset was actually plausible and more likely than anything else.

Kolyat very slowly shimmied his way out of his jacket. His blinking was rapid and she knew he was fighting the sting from the bullet as he pried the leather down his shoulder and off his body. Folding it over the edge of the couch he made sure the blood covered sleeve was tucked into the confines of the material to not stain her sofa. Shepard watched him intently, staring at the way the muscles of his arms flexed and moved under his skin.

He was wearing a broad shouldered sleeveless vest underneath his leather holster, his pistol positioned right over his ribs. The silver zipper stopped at his upper chest but the material dipped low enough to display the thick silver Hikari around his neck. The dull metal laying against him like a second skin. She examined the color of his scales, the intricate shimmer consistent with his arms and chest. He had black stripes that circled downward from around his neck but was hidden by his leathers. She looked at the lines on his arms, in batches of three on his upper arms and lower forearms. She had a sudden thought that she wanted to see where else on his body the patterns could be displayed. She forced herself to look away from him, turning to her computer to stare at the screens blankly pretending she was working again. She knew he didn't see her eyeing him and she hated the fact that she was aware of how good looking he was. _Stop it! Boundaries._

The medigel was already starting to take effect when she glanced at him again. Noticing she had shot him deeper then she actually thought. She saw a section of his muscle right before the tendons started to heal and close. He hissed as the medicine worked, a shudder of breath escaping his throat. She knew the sensation of quick healing could be as bad as the sudden sensation of being shot, but in another moment he would only feel the dull after effect of a wound that no longer existed as his nervous system tried to catch up with the abrupt healing.

"May I use one of these cloths?" His tone drastically changing to politeness as he waited for her to answer. She nodded but got up quickly and crossed the room just as he was pulling the small wash cloth from the drawer.

"Here let me." She flexed her fingers to indicate for him to give it to her and went to the bathroom to wet it slightly before returning and taking a seat next to him upon the couch. She ignored the look of confusion he gave her as she wrapped her hand around his elbow to lift it to gently dab at the blood that coated his shoulder and arm. His scales were smooth and cool to the touch and she couldn't stop her fingers from trailing over one of the black markings as she worked her way to his bicep.

"I can finish the rest." He said softly their eyes meeting for a moment as she glanced up at him his fingers grazing against hers as he took the cloth from her grasp. She swallowed roughly and got up ignoring the hitch in her heartbeat before sitting across from him on the other couch.

"So…what type of help do you need?" _That's right bring the conversation back in, stop staring._

"Information. You _**are**_ an information broker now, right? Or is that just the cover story?"

Her lips quirked from his emotionless tone. He was still trying to bait her. He knew she was keeping secrets and wanted her to recognize that he was on to her, very blatantly.

"I _**am**_ an Information Broker, but what type of information are we talking about?" Kolyat sighed and looked up at her then just as he finished cleaning off the blood on his wrist and fingers.

"Look, before I ask, I need you to know that I need this as a favor. I don't have the kind of money brokers usually ask for right now. Your prices are outrageous."

"Do you need money?" She tilting her head quizzically scrunching her eyebrows in confusion.

"Don't insult me. I would never beg anyone for money. You above anyone else."

"I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to insult you. I'm trying to understand exactly what the situation is." His gaze softened as he regarded her. His shoulders relaxing as he leaned back against the couch getting more comfortable. He folded the bloody cloth and laid it on top of his jacket.

"I know. That's why I didn't get too angry from your comment."

"I guess I could learn something from you, huh?" Kolyat grinned slightly from her words and saw all the different remarks that could have come from his mouth. Why did she get a feeling that he was thinking something perverted? A moment of silence passed between them and as quickly as it came his eyes turned serious. The smile leaving his lips.

"I need you to find the location of a mining planet that is in need of workers. Nothing too dangerous. Something long term and decent paying."

"Looking to switch professions?" She grinned making a deep chuckle to vibrate from Kolyat's throat. The sound of his voice making her insides tighten in secret enjoyment, the air between them becoming a little clearer.

"Hardly. I need you to find a location where a whole family can be relocated. A family of four...I assume you check for bugs in your office?"

"Of course. Anything you say cannot be picked up by any outside detection. There's two different scramblers attached to the security system and a third on my computers." Kolyat nodded and leaned forward on the couch. He clasped his hands together and leaned his elbows on his knees, his gaze intense.

"This information does not leave this room. I have no one else who can help me with this. The relocation is for two adults and two children. One of each gender for both. I need the adult female and two children to be relocated as soon as possible. The adult male will follow in forty three days from today."

"Sounds easy enough."

"There's more."

"Of course there is." Shepard grinned crossing one of her legs over the other smoothing down the sapphire fabric of her knee length skirt. She ignored the way Kolyat stared at her legs a moment before meeting his eyes back to hers. Was he checking her out? _Of course he was, you almost begged him to fuck you._ She noticed Kolyat's mouth started moving. _Focus Shepard, he's talking!_

"I need all transport and docking fees taken care of or wavered. I can pay you back over time if you want."

"Now you're insulting me. I never beg for money." She said chidingly trying to mock his voice from earlier, making him snort at her and answer dryly.

"Very funny."

"I try to be." She wiggled her eyebrows trying to lighten the mood before answering seriously. "What if no one is hiring?"

"Pull some strings. I really need this done."

"No pressure, huh?"

"Show me how good you are, Shepard." She swallowed tightly and shifted on the couch in discomfort. A look passing through his eyes that was dark and almost sensual. Was he still talking about the information, or did his mind suddenly move to something else? _Please don't look at me like that._ Did he not care that she had just shot him? His words were a double edged sword and she had a vague feeling that he was soaking in everything about her. Kolyat looked away from her and frowned. She could tell there was still something he needed and he was trying to find the right words.

"Just tell me Kolyat. I know there's something else." She waited until he sighed rubbing the bridge of his nose giving in.

"They all need new identities. I need them to disappear, new ID's, new background records, new identification numbers, new lives…and I need a loan shark paid off."

"Now were going into black market territory." Kolyat nodded and continued.

"I need encrypted messages and enough credits, along with a secure location and deliverer that will not be discovered. The credits given have to be enough to make them want to forget about trying to find this family after it's done. I will do some digging and find out exactly how much were talking about here."

"No need to put yourself at risk."

"Do you not think I can do it?" His voice turned harsh but that wasn't the thought that had crossed her mind.

"Kolyat, your test is coming up. I won't have you jeopardize your future if you're discovered to be mixed up in any of this." _Mine is already fucked. "_ I'll take care of it."

"I understand, so you will help?" He blinked at her slowly, his inner eyes fluttering closed for a moment in nervousness.

"Of course I'll help you. You're trying to help someone else. What kind of monster do you think I am?"

"Someone who shoots first and then asks questions later." He said dryly making Shepard laugh from his words. He tilted his head to the side as he watched her reaction trying not to read too much into the way his eyes trailed over her.

"You might have just figured out my whole persona. Please don't let my enemies know, you'll ruin my element of surprise." The air between them felt natural now as she continued grinning at him cheekily. She saw his frills suddenly darken in color as he turned his head to grab the cloth and jacket off the arm of the couch. He grimaced as his fingers examined the tear in his sleeve, his digits pushing through the large hole. He sighed as his fingers lingered, grazing the leather. _Wow, he's really upset._ He stood and threw the jacket over his shoulder holding it with his fused fingers shoving the bloody cloth into the inner pocket of his leather coat. She could see it in her face, the garment was already beyond saving. Thane wouldn't have spoken to her for a week if she did that to his jacket, so she had a general idea of how upset Kolyat was.

"Leaving so soon?"

"I won't over stay my welcome. Come find me as soon as you get this information so I can notify the family."

"Anything else you want since I'm in such a giving mood?" She knew her words were dirtier then she meant them to be but Kolyat kept his face neutral as his eyes trailed over her body once again before meeting her eyes.

"Go out to lunch with me the day after tomorrow, my treat. There's something else I wish to discuss with you."

"Only if you tell me why you are doing this? Do you even know this family?"

Kolyat blinked at her slowly and turned to walk towards the door. At first she didn't think he was going to answer her but as the doors swooshed open he stopped and turned to her. There was such raw emotion in his eyes as he stared at her. Regret, sadness, longing, all gazing within his ebony depths. She could just barely make out the outline of his irises.

"Because everyone deserves a second chance."

He quickly turned and left her, the doors sealing as he moved from the sensors. Her stomach knotted as soon as she was alone, her heart hammering wildly as she thought about the way he just looked at her and how she secretly wanted to see it again. _Wait, did he just ask her out on a date?_

* * *

_She fucking shot me. She actually fucking shot me!_ Despite the pain and what he thought might have happen, in the end she had decided to help him. He still couldn't believe it. He expected screaming or yelling, insults and heated exchanges. He didn't expect her to help him without ridicule, but there she was, concerned and willing to see what she could do. Even taking extra precautions to avoid him getting his hands dirty and caught if things went south. Although she did shoot him. _She punched you in the face the first time you met and then saved your sorry ass from prison, remember that?_ Maybe she was big on shock therapy? Did she shoot him in order to calm the situation down? _Did she just fuck with my head? Better yet, did I just ask her out on a date?_

As Kolyat heard the doors close behind him he paused and stared at the floor thinking about what had just happened, playing out everything in his head again. Relief from being able to keep his word to Claire filled his chest with a slight reprieve. In the end he trusted Shepard. He knew she wouldn't let him down. Despite a more than rough start to their meeting, he was content on how it ended, although his jacket was now trashed. _Shit. That was expensive leather._ He doubted he would be able to get the tear fixed or even be able to afford the repair. The cost of a new jacket right now was completely out of the question since he had just given Claire money from his savings.

Kolyat sighed as he decided to see just how much a fix might be and go from there. He knew under normal circumstances he would be completely enraged if another female had ripped his jacket, but this was Shepard. Truthfully, what he said to her the night before made him feel like her shooting him was actually overdue. He was lucky it was just his arm and not his dick…and she didn't exactly say no to meet him for lunch.

"Hey blue boy!" _Why do Asari's like to call me that?_ Kolyat glanced at the woman who sat behind the desk, her grey eyes studying him from head to toe. "Did you get what you came here for? I heard the gun shot. I was actually a little surprised that you didn't come running out a moment later. Your braver then you look, or incredibly stupid."

"Do many people get shot in her office?" Kolyat walked over to her desk curiously. If this woman wasn't surprised by the gun fire then apparently it was a normal occurrence. The woman shrugged and started typing on her computer again grinning.

"Perhaps. Why? Are you going to arrest me if I don't tell you?" She eyed him chidingly, looking him down from head to toe. He ignored her blatant flirting, he had already reached his threshold for female troubles for the next year and definitely did not want to get mixed up with Shepard's receptionist. Even he had morals. She _**would**_ shoot him in the dick next time if that happened. _Besides its Shepard you want._ Yeah...like that was going to happen.

"Narissa right?" Kolyat asked evenly making the Asari nod at him and smile wider. "I apologize for before, I just really needed to speak with her."

"It must have been important. You're lucky she saw you. Most of the time she will make people wait." Kolyat studied the woman, her perfect lavender skin and dark grey eyes. She had a full mouth with a sharp angular jaw, high cheek bones with almond shaped eyes. She was very attractive. _But she's not a red head. What the fuck brain. The bitch just shot you!_

"So you have any plans? Want to get a drink? I'm about to get off soon."

Kolyat narrowed his eyes and immediately frowned. Adjusting his hold on the jacket thrown over his shoulder he stuck his hand in his pocket and turned away. Was this woman insane? She was really asking him out after he just shy of assaulted her? What is wrong with women? This is why he didn't date anymore after his last girlfriend fucked with his head. They made no sense half the time and were only good for one thing and he definitely did not want to fuck one of Shepard's employees.

"Sorry, but I'm not interested. I have plans already."

"Oh…I see. I guess Asari's don't do it for you." Kolyat blinked slowly and sighed beginning to walk away not knowing what else to say to her to not appear like a total prick.

"I guess I'll see you around." He said quietly leaving the office. She said something else to him but his mind was already on other things and he did not hear her. Honestly he didn't even care what else she had to say. She was not his concern.

Slowly he made his way through the Zakera Ward going down a few levels until he reached a busy shopping area set up with specialized boutiques. His mind was a hurricane of thoughts. What had made him invite Shepard to lunch? The demand had spilled from his lips before he could stop it. What made it even worse was that she had accepted without a fight. What the hell was going through her head?

He couldn't believe how good she looked. Her hair had been down, cascading around her shoulders in waves of ruby silk. A stark contrast to the black blouse that she had worn. When she sat next to him he had to force his eyes away from the endless expanse of her legs, fighting an urge to run his hand up her thigh and know exactly what she would feel like between her legs. Would her skin be cool like a Drell's or would there be scorching heat to get lost in since her body had burned when he had kissed her.

That Asari from the night before had nothing on what Shepard could have been like if he didn't fuck up and say what he did. _No, you knew it was wrong. That's why you needed to stop._ Kolyat sighed for which felt like the hundredth time today. He needed to stop thinking about this. He needed to stop thinking about her. Maybe Taran would have an idea? Did he even want to tell him? Kolyat slowed his pace as he reached his friends store.

He had met Taran Amani in Congregation. He was an unbiased individual, always speaking his mind, observant and followed his ideals while keeping an open mind to others. He was honest, kind and goodhearted. Everything Kolyat wished he could be. He was religious, but did not obsessive over the fundamentals. He was upbeat and fun to be around, never quick to anger. The contrast between the two of them was what had made them close friends fast. He was loyal to those he cared about and his advice was always sound. Taran had just been bonded when he had met him and was easy to speak to when it came to woman. Especially when his previous relationship had started to sour.

The shop Taran owned was at the end of the level it resided on, called Drala'fa, the ignored. He always had a peculiar sense of humor. Drells were the smallest minority on the Citadel, only several hundred were believed to reside their and many people ignored them most of the time. They were dock workers, mechanics or common workers. A small few only came to accompany visiting Hanar. Some like Taran's mate Mira worked as researchers. Kolyat was the only one in C-Sec that he knew of. Normally you had to be sponsored by your races Council member to be accepted into the force, but because the Drells or Hanar did not have a Council seat he had to be highly recommended by someone in status and his application pushed through. That was where Shepard had come in.

Kolyat entered the boutique and immediately spotted his friend stocking jewelry from a steel case in the center of the store. As soon as the chimes went off Taran looked up and saw him. His dark eyes assessed him from head to toe before he grinned and went back to setting up a batch of bracelets that had most likely just arrived. He was a tall Drell, a little taller than him, with light gray scales. His face was paler then the rest of him, sometimes shimmering silver when he moved. His stripes, the ones that Kolyat could see, varied from black to a dark charcoal grey. Unlike most Drell, Taran's irises were a vibrant silver and easily seen from across the room. A striking contrast to the onyx that surrounded them. He wore a long white leather jacket set with grey shoulder pads and lining. He always carried himself with confidence and knew that his carefree easy going attitude was what drew him to the other Drell. No matter how much of a dick Kolyat was, and he knew he could be a real asshole, Taran always brushed it off without complaint.

"You don't look too happy. Bad day?"

"You could say that."

Kolyat went over and placed his jacket on the glass case beside the other Drell. Taran quirked an eyeridge at him when he noticed the blood on the sleeve. Picking up the jacket he examined the leather turning it over to survey every angle. Kolyat didn't say anything as his friend assessed the damage, grasping two of the gold bangles he helped set them up on the display stand. Sliding the large rings into the velvet holders. When Kolyat reached for a third bracelet Tarans fingers went through the large hole on the upper arm of his leather snorting in displeasure.

"You've been busy." Taran snickered looking over to Kolyat. His silver irises flashing in the display lights mockingly.

"Can you repair it?"

"I'm not sure this can be saved. I would have to replace the whole sleeve and shoulder pad. I'm not sure if the stitching will take."

"Yeah…" Kolyat answered hesitantly as he released an angry breath, placing a gold ring into a holder now. "I had a feeling you would say that."

"What happened?"

"I got shot." Kolyat said plainly. Taran gasped as he found the blood stained cloth and removed it from his inner pocket along with his badge and handed it to him. He placed the silver emblem into the back pocket of his pants and continued helping put the merchandise away.

"I can see that now. You no longer seem hurt, your scales weren't scarred were they?"

"No. Just my pride."

Taran laughed loudly and turned away taking the jacket with him tossing the red stained cloth into the trash can. Kolyat put the last ring in the display and closed the glass unit locking it before grabbing the transport case and following behind his friend. He placed the steel box on the counter and made his way over to the rows of leather jackets that lined the back corner of the shop. He glanced through them slowly. _Maybe I can find something new._

"So, you won't be able to fix it?"

"I can try if you want me to. I would need a few days."

"How much is this going to cost me?"

"Five hundred credits."

"Seriously? I might as well buy a new jacket." Kolyat saw a really nice one and pulled it out from the rack. It was deep black with a duller shade of ebony for the patchwork. The lining was a shinier obsidian and the front had three silver buckles. It was just the type of design that he was drawn to. "I like this one a lot. How much does this cost?"

"Kolyat, if you're complaining about five hundred I doubt you will be able to afford five thousand."

"Shit." Kolyat frowned and returned the jacket to its spot and made his way over to his friend. "I'm short on credits right now but can you try to fix it? I get paid in a few more days I can give you what I'll owe then."

"I know you're good for it. Your one of the few I actually trust in this Gods forsaken place."

"If you hate it so much, then why don't you return to Kahje?"

"I hate Kahje even more. Mira's work is here and she is happy, so I am happy. She doesn't want to leave, so were staying…and I love my store…and I know you would miss me." He smirked widely making Kolyat snort in denial.

"She has your dick in a vice. I hope you know that." Kolyat snickered making the other male laugh deeply.

"If she has my dick in a vice than trust me, that's exactly where I plan to keep it. Besides we're going to start trying for a baby soon and I don't want the moisture of Kahje anywhere near my child."

"Really? I mean…that's good."

"We all need to grow up sometime. Flying bullets of a C-Sec officer isn't for everyone you know."

"Actually I didn't get shot while on duty." Kolyat looked away from the other Drell rubbing the back of his neck in renewed aggravation.

"A bar fight than."

"Why do you think it was a bar fight?"

"Because I know you. You probably stole another male's woman."

"It wasn't a bar fight and I don't steal females."

"Now you have my interest peaked." Kolyat stayed quiet and rubbed the back of his neck again trying to decide if he wanted to say anything about why his jacket got destroyed. "Come on Kolyat, I tell you everything." Taran short of pleaded, poking him in the shoulder.

"That's because I'm dumb enough to listen."

"What are friends for then? Come on, let's be like a couple of females and dish our secrets shall we?"

"Should I start painting your nails?"

"If that sort of thing turns you on. I'm going to be a dick and make you do each one a different color." They both chuckled casually from their lightheartedly harassment. Kolyat took a deep breath and thought for a moment exactly what he wanted to say. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose sighing again. The whole Shepard situation still fresh in his mind. The beautiful, psychotic, sexy, fucking alluring bitch that was Shepard. If anyone would understand it was Taran, he trusted him not to say anything. But how much was he willing to admit?

"I'm…attracted to this woman."

"Seriously? That's what has you all worked up? What else is new? I'm starting to wonder if there's any women left you haven't slept with on the Citadel."

"Taran I'm serious." Kolyat frowned and the expression on his face made Taran hesitate.

"Interesting. I see that now. So what does one have to do with the other?"

"I kissed her the other day and said something…inappropriate." ' _If you want, you can pretend I'm him. I'll even let you call me by his name if you prefer.'_

"That sounds about right."

"Taran." Kolyat growled in warning. Didn't he see how much this was upsetting him? How hard it was to talk about?

"Apologies, continue please. How exactly did you put your foot in your mouth?"

"I accused her of thinking about someone else when I tried to get her to invite me in. I…told her to do it."

" _ **Why**_ would you do that?" Taran asked in confusion leaning his chin upon his palm as he rested his elbow on the glass. Kolyat groaned and leaned on the counter covering his face with his hands.

"I don't know. I just…I think I was looking for an excuse to stop. We shouldn't have even done that. I think I panicked."

"Really? You never panic with females. I personally think you were trying to get off in a different way _**or**_ you were just being an asshole. So that means you were just being yourself. You should have just slept with her and been done with it like you usually are. You didn't even need to talk for that."

"No…not with her. I don't think I could do that with her. I don't think I would want to."

"So ask her out on a date." He shrugged nonchalantly. Why did he think it was so easy? _But you did invite her out for lunch._ No, that wasn't a date. He just wanted to apologize.

"That's…not going to happen. When I went to her today I provoked her and she shot me." Taran started laughing.

"Did it ever occur to you that a simple, I'm sorry, might have prevented you from getting shot?"

"I didn't get the opportunity."

"And you're still attracted to her despite what she did? You bring a new meaning to the phrase 'liking it rough'." Kolyat swatted Taran's hand out from under his chin who laughed impishly.

"It doesn't matter. We shouldn't get mixed up with one another."

"Kolyat. It's not like you to get worked up over a female, especially after what happened with Zahria. If you like her, apologize and take her out to lunch or tea or dinner, whatever glides your ship. If she says no or go fuck yourself, at least you'll know where you stand. If you're a glutton for punishment then keep asking her until she gives in…or shoots you again."

"I am taking her out to lunch the day after tomorrow, but it's not a date." At least he didn't think it was. "It's complicated."

"Everything is complicated with you."

"Why do I even talk to you?" He spat in rising ire unable to keep the aggravated till from his voice. Taran just sighed at his display, dismissing his rising irritation.

"It's because I'm one of the few who will actually listen to your bullshit. Look, it's simple, just ask the woman out for real. If she shot you then that means you unnerved her. If you say it's complicated than that means that kiss meant something she probably didn't want to accept either. You're both probably looking for excuses and creating imaginary demons that aren't there." Kolyat thought for a moment as the rest of their exchange played out in his head again. She had helped clean his arm, her hands lingering on his skin, fingers tracing over one of his stripes. He had noticed her staring at him as he removed his jacket. Her eyes trailing over his body causing her cheeks to redden which he pretended not to see. _No. Stop seeing things that aren't there. She shot me because I pissed her off._

"It's either that or she hates you and then you shouldn't even bother anymore." Kolyat swallowed roughly. _Yeah, she's only helping you because you're his son._

"I'm leaving, I have to study." He said in dismissal shoving his hands in his pockets as he turned to leave. "I'll see you at Congregation in a few days. Tell Mira I said hi and contact me when the jacket is fixed."

"It's humbling isn't it?" Kolyat looked back at Taran who was looking down at his counter, running his hands over the glass slowly. "Finding a woman who doesn't give in easily. Someone who can challenge you and meet you eye to eye. It drives our instincts, makes us succumb to their desires just to gain one more minute in their presence. You don't realize it until they have filled up every part of you, their soul consuming yours."

"Are we talking about me? Or you and Mira?" Kolyat asked a little harshly feeling unnerved by Taran's antics.

"I wonder." The grey Drell grinned at him sardonically and stared at him head on making Kolyat frown and suck his teeth. _And people call me the jerk._

"Do me a favor. Don't sell that black jacket. I want to buy it."

"I'm selling it to the next person who shows interest in buying leather, just to spite you now."

Kolyat sucked his teeth again and walked out feeling a little better but still confused about what he should think about Shepard. As he reached the transport to the Zakera Ward his final thoughts before getting in was how another woman had just cost him hundreds of credits and that he still wasn't sure if it was a date.

* * *

"You don't see many Drells on the Citadel." Narissa said as Shepard exited her office about an hour later. Trying to get a head start on the information that Kolyat needed. She had already found a few mining colonies looking for workers but she still needed to analyze the data on their casualties and safety records. If Kolyat was willing to go out of his way and jeopardize himself for this family then she would make sure that they would be safe and comfortable. She glanced at Narissa as she passed her desk, adjusting her blouse and smoothing down the front of her skirt. Trying not to remember the look in Kolyat's eyes when she had caught him staring at her legs.

"I think there's only a few hundred that live here."

"I always thought that they had this air about them that makes them mysterious. It's too bad you're not into Drells Shepard, because tall, dark and handsome just walked out the door." She hated to admit it but Kolyat was good looking. _In that handsome punk, sexy asshole kind of way._ What? No he wasn't. He was a bastard. _A beautiful bastard._ Shepard sucked her teeth, she needed a drink. Her brain felt like it was about to explode.

"Yeah…it's too bad they don't do it for me." Her voice felt empty and she just wanted to go home now.

"I tried to ask him out."

"What did he say?" She asked trying to sound like she didn't care. _You don't care._ Why did her heart rate just triple and dread grip her stomach? _Please don't tell me he accepted._

"He had this scowl on his face like I smelt bad or something." Narissa laughed and waved her hand dismissively. "He refused me, very rudely I might add and walked out."

"I think he's just focusing on his studies." _Yeah, that had to be it._ There would be no other reason that Kolyat would refuse time with Narissa. She was beautiful, smart and had this natural charm that always landed her dates every night of the week. "He has an exam in a few weeks and he's applying for a promotion."

"So…he has a good job, works hard, has plans for the future, didn't run after you shot him, and tall, dark and handsome, hmmm…."

"No, Narissa. Not him, anyone but him."

"I am just pointing out the perks. If he's a close acquaintance and you don't want to be hounded at the Unveiling next week perhaps you should ask him to accompany you. At least it will keep a lot of unwanted attention away…and if you just happen to get drunk and sleep together, then you won't be so grumpy when you come in to work the next day."

"I am _**not**_ going to sleep with him."

"With the way he acted towards me, unfortunately I'm not going to either." Shepard snorted despite herself and shoved Narissa's shoulder playfully.

"Can we ever get through a whole day without talking about fucking someone?"

"I don't think it's in my nature." Shepard continued laughing at Narissa's serious expression.

After they said their good byes Shepard decided she didn't want to go home just yet. Despite working through the night it was still relatively early, only twelve hours into the twenty hour day cycle of the Citadel. Maybe she should do some shopping? After wandering around aimlessly for a little while staring at passing windows and different kiosks she couldn't help but feel restless.

This last week had been a roller coaster of weirdness in stark contrast to the last year which had been pretty straight forward. _Leave it to Kolyat._ And she thought she radiated spent most of her time now working or sleeping, never really deviating from that order. Once in a while she would go to a bar or party to mingle but most of the time she just kept to herself. In the Alliance there was always a mission, always an objective to complete. Always something to do, somewhere to be, someone to find. She never had a moment to herself to just think. Her life was a whirlwind of gun fire and death. Even after her own she barely had a moment to herself. Until Thane.

He had showed her what it meant to slow down and enjoy the moment. Despite the fact that they had been racing against time, he consumed her in minutes of pure bliss and overwhelming emotion. She had found him in a moment of deadly grace and precise movements. His wisdom and unending patience had pulled her away from the haunting moments that had made her feel lost, almost drowning in an abyss of darkness. In return she had saved him from the emptiness that had threatened to drown him as well. He had been exactly what she needed at the time of her life where she had needed it the most. _You have to accept that he is gone and that you are still here without him._

She had to admit though, this last year was more of a blur now that she thought about it. She felt so empty inside, so unlike her former self. Sometimes she even wondered if anyone would miss her if she disappeared completely. _Maybe I should go back to Earth?_ Her family was still there, although she had a sinking feeling that her dad might accuse her of hiding. Maybe Narissa was right. Maybe she needed to go out on a date. A depressing thought entered her mind as she wondered how long it would take someone to run as soon as they realized how fucked up she actually was. _No one will ever understand the things you had to do. You will never be able to confide in anyone again._

Shepard sighed and hesitated as she thought about Kolyat. Maybe shooting him was a little bit of an over-reaction? She never spent much time with him before and it unnerved her how much he seemed to get a reaction out of her, how much her body was aware of him. Maybe she should replace his jacket? She could see the anguish in his eyes when he put his fingers through the sleeve. Being a C-Sec recruit she had a feeling if he had come to her asking for help as a favor he probably didn't have the credits to replace what she had damaged. Maybe she could give it to him when they went out for lunch? Why did he ask her out anyway? On second thought why did she automatically accept without question? _Because you want to see him again._ Fuck. You. Brain.

Shepard sighed in aggravation as she pushed the nagging thoughts away deciding to do a search on the externet of where she could find good quality Drell leather. She followed the map down several levels in the Zakera Ward until she reached a platform in a section she had never been to before. Looking around she didn't see the store that was flagged on her onmitool until a dark brown and gold faced Drell had caught her attention. If you're looking for a Drell store, might as well follow one right?

She slowly followed behind him watching the way his tall lean body moved in his dark yellow and black leathers. Not even a moment later he had turned into a store and disappeared behind the glass entryway. Drala'fa was etched in black letters within a silver hexagon shape with two crescent moons facing outward on each side. She smiled to herself as she stared at the familiar symbol. It was a scale marking present on the forehead of every Drell she had ever met and she found it ironic that it would be the symbol for this particular store, or perhaps fitting.

Making her way inside she noticed immediately that the shop was set up like a boutique and was bigger than she thought it would be. Several glass display's and showcases lined the outside walls and in the center. The man she saw enter was in the back speaking to another male Drell who had a large book on the counter pointing to something within it. When she entered past a certain point a soft ring went off. It was a light melody and reminded her of wind chimes, the pure sounds were gentle and quite pleasant. The two men turned towards her and the one behind the counter smiled and waved. His grey scales shimmering silver in the light.

"If you need any help, just let me know. I need just a moment."

"Thank you, take your time." She smiled and nodded at him.

Shepard browsed through the store, slowly walking and admiring the different guns and knives lined within the cases. Some of the styles were familiar, certain shapes and blades similar to the ones she had on display in her own home that belonged to Thane. Many of the guns were interesting though, with wider trigger guards to accommodate their fused fingers but thinner barrels for sinks. _Was that a new Viper?_ Shepard admired the sniper rifle, its sleek black design and structure flawless in design. It had a sighted scope and quick detachable bipod. It even came with a monopod for better stability and a carry handle that snapped against the side when in use. _Holy hell, I think I'm in love._ She had to fight the urge to press her face against the glass and drool.

She forced herself to move on to the next cluster of display cases near the center of the store. These held a wide variety of bracelets, rings and necklaces. All with different colors and markings. She noticed a section of thick necklaces and started wondering if the different colors meant anything significant. Thane's was a thick silver and so was Kolyat's. When she glanced up at the two men she noticed theirs were different. The one that came in had a thick silver one but the shop keeper had a thick gold with carvings over the surface where his collar bone was. As if sensing her stare the shop keeper glanced back at her.

"Is everything alright?" He asked gently titling his head to the side his dark eyes looking at her in puzzlement. Silver irises shining at her in curiosity. Shepard blinked back her embarrassment for being caught watching them.

"I apologize. I didn't mean to stare. I was admiring your necklaces…your Hikari's"

"Ah, someone who is not Drell but familiar with some of our words." The customer said smiling turning towards her. His black eyes glinting in amusement.

"My close friend had one, different marking's though."

"Was it silver like mine or gold like Taran's?"

"It was thick silver."

"Was?" The shopkeeper asked softly who she now knew was named Taran.

"His Hikari was given to me when he was returned to the deep over a year ago. Keprals Syndrome." The two men nodded in understanding.

"I am sorry for your loss. It is never easy to lose a lover. I lost my first girlfriend to Keprals." The brown skinned Drell held up his hand to usher her closer and as she approached them she hesitated in her steps.

"How did you…I never said we were lovers." The two men exchanged a look but it was Taran who smiled and answered her first.

"The Hikari is always given to the lover or bonded mate. If there are none, then the eldest child. If no children were conceived, then it is returned to the deep along with the deceased."

"It is rare for a human to take a Drell lover or vice versa. It is good to know that there are those out there that are accepting of our beliefs. Come I wish to show you something. You said my order arrived, right Taran?"

Taran nodded and bent down beneath the counter producing a thin stack of velvet jewelry boxes. He opened each one and placed them side by side. The biggest box was a gold Hikari with intricate waved patterns over the surface. The second box was a smaller thinner Hikari, with several emeralds that sat near the center where it would rest at the hollow of the throat. The third was a set of matching gold bracelets. One bigger than the other.

"A Drell Hikari shows their status in our culture. When a male is of age he receives his first Hikari. Thin silver means he is ready to take on a mate and is eligible for consideration. Females only wear it when they are actively looking for a mate. That is how they let us know that they are single and considering a bonding. For males, thick silver means they are in a relationship or not interested. A male will present a thin gold Hikari when he asks to be bonded, like the equivalent to a human engagement ring. Thick gold for both means bonded."

"So these Hikari-

"Nikoylt is having his bonding ceremony next week. These are the Hikari's that the priests will bless and they will present to one another. Like wedding rings for your species. The gold bracelets are used when vows are made."

"Congratulations. I wish you both all the happiness in the world and hope Arashu blesses your union." Taran and Nikoylt's eyes both widened slightly in surprise when she mentioned their deity. The brown Drell brushed his hand down the front of his yellow and black leather jacket as she watched his soft pink frills redden in color.

"Thank you. I am confident to say that Reya and I will have a strong bond. I will be her only Haru."

"Haru? I am not familiar with that word."

"The closest translation would be husband. In Drell society it is acceptable for a female to take multiple Haru's. Our numbers are small and the females even smaller, sometimes one to every five or six males. Once a couple decides to have a child if one is not produced within five years than it is plausible for the Matriarch to demand another Haru. Every couple is different of course but the Haru has to be agreed upon by both bonded, sometimes it is even a family member. Personally, I am not like Taran here, men are not attractive to me so another Haru will not work for us."

"Just throw my business out there, but I never said I was attracted to men." The grey skinned Drell blinked slowly and frowned.

"But you mentioned you would take another Haru."

"If Mira wishes it of me, then I would be obligated to consider it. If we can find someone we can both consent on, then I would allow it, even after we had a child. I would not deny my Hara anything she asks for."

"You're stronger than me. Just the thought of someone else touching Reya drives me to the point of frenzy. When the time comes for a child I will do my best for Reya so her Matriarch doesn't consider it."

"Well, just don't allow it to be because of a lack of trying, ok?" Shepard spoke up to ease the tension making Nicoylt laugh heartily while Taran snickered who began closing up the velvet boxes and storing them away. The brown Drell looked down at his omnitool and frowned.

"My break is almost over. I have to run. It was a pleasure speaking with you." Nicoylt quickly bowed slightly to her before looking back to Taran and waving. "I will see you next week at the ceremony."

"I look forward to it." Taran spoke gently waving back as he watched him go. When Nicoylt left he turned all his attention to her and smiled. "So, were you looking for something in particular, or just browsing?"

"Actually, I'm interested in buying a leather jacket."

"Not a problem. Let me show you what I have in stock. This way please." Taran walked around the counter and guided her to the back corner of the store where several racks had different length and color jackets. He pulled out a deep crimson one with black trimming and gold buckles.

"This one would look lovely with your hair and skin tone. The cut is elegant enough to show off the curves of your body. There is extra leather stitched in the chest to accommodate human breasts. If this one does not sit right we can have it modified a bit, but I think this would be a perfect fit for your shape." Shepard ran her hand down the soft leather admiring the style, feeling the cool soft material beneath her fingertips. It was extremely beautiful and truthfully Taran knew his products, the color and cut were perfect. She had to remind herself that she wasn't here for her. Although she had a fleeting thought that she would rock the fucking Citadel in that jacket.

"Actually, that jacket is amazing but I'm not here for me."

"Ah, apologies. Is it for a human or…?"

"A Drell." Taran nodded and put the red leather back moving over to a longer line of jackets.

"Male correct? Do you have a particular color you are looking for then?"

"Actually, now I'm not so certain about what he might like."

"Then permit me to ask this. What color are his scales? What are his markings like? Where are his stripes?"

"His scales are blue but…not exactly. They have a soft shimmer to them that change between blue, teal and then to green depending on the lighting. His irises are a dark blue. His markings are black. He has some here and here along his ridges and above his eyes." Shepard pointed to her cheeks and head. She noticed Taran was giving her a peculiar look as she started describing Kolyat but in a moment it was quickly replaced with intrigue.

"How…interesting." He said as if he just realized something. He stared at her for a long moment, his eyes trailing over her features and body as if he was trying to take in everything about her. _What the hell?_ "Does he know you are buying this for him?"

"No…I… kind of ripped the jacket he owned and I could see it in his face that he was a little more than pissed about it." Taran snorted back a laugh but covered his mouth forcing himself to remain quiet.

"I apologize again. Good leather is quite expensive I can understand his anger. This one I believe would be prefect for your…friend?" Shepard nodded and watched as Taran pulled out a long sleek jacket. It was mostly a dark black with a dull sheen that avoided reflection. It had smoky black patches trailing down the sides along with shoulder pads that matched in color and ebony trimmings that were shinier. Three large dull metaled silver buckles lined one side. She blinked in awe. _Kolyat would look so good in that._ Wait, did she just think that?

"Do you like it?" A smile curved over Taran's lips as he watched her reaction.

"I think I love it." She answered almost absently still beating herself up mentally from her previous thought. Taran grinned wider and nodded taking her back towards the counter but she hesitated. Did Kolyat own matching pants? The only pants she had ever seen him in were either his C-Sec uniform pants or two different versions of black and blue leather. As if sensing her thoughts Taran spoke as he folded the jacket and placed it on the glass counter.

"Do you wish to buy matching pants, or perhaps a vest?"

"You're really good." Taran chuckled deeply in appreciation. The purr of his voice vibrating in his throat gravelly.

"A good salesman should always anticipate his client's needs."

"I'm not exactly sure what his size might be though."

"That is not a problem, I can most likely guess his size by the cut of the jacket. If it turns out not to fit him I will be more than happy to replace the clothes... but I have a feeling that won't be the case." Taran grinned and walked back around the counter and went to a few shelves next to a row of vests. He moved through them quickly until he found a black and dark teal vest along with black leather pants to match the jacket.

"This vest will work to bring out all the darkness of the jacket and pants, it will also off set the color of his scales and match. If the lighting hits it correctly then the blue of his irises will be seen easier." _Holy crap, he's really really_ _good._

Shepard went back towards the counter as he started folding the clothes neatly. Reaching underneath the counter he pulled out a large black rectangular box and lined it with a white cloth placing the pants first and then the jacket. He folded the vest and inserted in within the jacket to display it professionally.

"May you permit me to ask you something?"

"You already did." Shepard grinned making Taran chuckle softly.

"Then an observation. This…male that you are buying the outfit for, he must be someone you care about greatly."

"Why do you think that? I'm just replacing what was damaged."

"With interest. He could most likely get his jacket mended. It is not necessary to spend as much as you are if he is just an acquaintance." Taran stared at her stoically and she tilted her head thoughtfully as she met his gaze head on. She couldn't fight the small smile that spread over her lips. Why was he so concerned about who she spent her money on? After a few seconds the grey skinned Drell quirked an eyeridge when he realized she wasn't going to answer and looked away continuing to close up the box and tie a white satin ribbon around it.

"I take it back." She eventually answered making Taran look up at her in curiosity. "I think you're the worst salesman ever." She grinned at him to let him know that she was only joking and he returned her smile with one of his own continuing to fold an elaborate bow on the top of the box.

"I did not mean to pry. I just think that perhaps he might mean more to you than you would care to admit" Shepard quirked an eyebrow at him in confusion. What the hell was this guy getting at? Can't a girl just buy a gift without a hidden agenda? Suddenly Taran coughed and looked away his pale pink frills blushing red in embarrassment. "Forgive me. My Hara tells me I have trouble holding my tongue."

"It sounds like she keeps you in your place. In the best way possible." Taran laughed as he finished the bow, creating several layers of puffed satin and swirls tying the box closed elegantly.

"Yes, she is a good woman. Much better than I."

"She sounds like a keeper."

"When I bonded with her, I had planned just that. The gift is ready. That will be nine thousand credits."

Shepard hit a few buttons on her omnitool and pulled out the small credit chit in her purse and handed it to Taran. He swiped it on the top of his data pad and waiting for the funds to clear.

"Sarah Shepard? Like Commander Shepard?" She placed a hand on her hip and smiled gently. "I must say this is a very pleasant surprise…more than you might imagine. It is an honor to meet you."

"Thanks, but if you ask for my autograph I better get a discount." Taran laughed giving the chit back to her. She thanked him again and waited until he put the box in a plain shiny black bag and handed it to her.

"If you come again, I will hold you to that."

"Deal. I'll even endorse your store. We can have a little prompt that says 'I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite store on the Citadel.' I'm sure your sales would triple." Taran snorted back another laugh as she grinned taking the bag and waving to him as she turned to leave.

"Ms. Shepard." The call of her name caused her to pause just as she was leaving. She turned back to the grey skinned Drell a wicked grin spreading widely over his lips. "I hope it works out with your…friend. He will love the jacket, _**that**_ I can promise you."


	5. Chapter 5

She dropped the bag from Drala’fa and walked sluggishly into the apartment, not even bothering with the lights. It had been over twenty four hours since she had slept last and the events of the day were starting to catch up to her. Walking over to her bar she checked some messages on her omnitool from Garrus and Tali who had both been summoned back to their home worlds. She enjoyed the little updates. The tidbits of frustration and friendly banter and even the three way messaging that always resulted in an argument between the two. Although she secretly thought that they were seeing one another and not telling her yet. Pouring herself a drink she took a deep swallow and sighed. Everyone’s life was going on without her and she couldn’t help but feel frozen in place as if she were being left behind. Slowly she could feel the edges of the mask she wore slip away from her façade as she stared at the light brown liquid in her glass.

Her mind wandered to the blue Drell who out of nowhere started taking over her thoughts. Kolyat had come to her for help and seeing him in her office again had made her more aware of him since the night they had seen each other at the C-Sec Ball. All her doubts and all her confusion coming back to the surface when her hand had touched his skin, fingertips tracing the outline of one of his stripes. Her stomach had tightened when his eyes had lingered over her legs, her pulse speeding up when their hands had touched. Her skin had started to heat and she was shamed by her body’s reaction. She should have never allowed him to kiss her in the first place. Now she had all these forbidden thoughts swimming in her head. The remembrance of what his hands had felt like on her body. A moment that allowed her to forget who she was, and what she represented.

Shepard downed the glass in two more heavy gulps before refilling her cup and chugging the rest. She worried because this is how she had reacted the first time she had met Thane. The lingering looks, the soft caresses. Despite him being an asshole she genuinely looked forward to meeting him for lunch even though she knew it was most likely to discuss what had happened between them. Hopefully he would just agree that it had been a mistake. Maybe she could blame it on the liquor. _But Kolyat had barely drank anything._ At least not with her.

Would he want more? Wait a minute, what was she thinking, this was Thane’s son. On top of that he was inexperienced in the life she had lead. _He would never understand the darkness inside of you._ Shepard could feel her chest grow heavy as the first waves of dread started to grip her lungs, the edges of her vision going red. She slowly backed away from her bar glancing down at her hands until she bumped into her couch, her breathing picking up speed. _The blood._ She could almost smell something burning in the distance. The acrid pungent smells of melting metal and plastic combined with the putridness of burning flesh.

She glanced at the floor, flashes of grime and alien fluids covered the wood. She closed her eyes and shook her head. The loud blaring sounds of the reapers echoing and snarls of the husks made her look around frantically as memories from the Prothean artifacts swirled right behind her eyes, forcing the first scream from her lips.

 _Oh_   _God._

The feeling of terror overwhelmed her and she fell to the floor scrambling across her living room blindly until she reached the other couch and side table where she stored one of her guns.  Pulling herself to her knees, she aimed it out in front of her, popping a sink into the chamber. Her chest rose and fell rapidly as her lungs struggled to pull in air from her panic filled gasps. The fight or flight reflex taking over her senses…and then there was nothing. Just her and the quiet of her apartment. No blood, no grit…she was safe.

_You’re here…your fine…your alone, just like you were meant to be._

Slowly she could feel herself start to calm as she dropped the gun to her side, hiccupping air that slowly retreated from her lips. The emptiness taking its place back within her. She shivered against the cold of it, against the void that filled her up. Glancing down at the gun she thought about some of the choices that she had made. The lives that she had taken in cold blood and those that no matter what she could have done, were unavoidable and ultimately her fault. Her humanity had been replaced with death and darkness, and her soul replaced with the screams of those that she had killed, of those that she had been unable to save.

No matter how hard she tried; no matter how hard she pushed herself to be stronger, be faster, be everything everyone could need of her; there were always the voices of the dead to haunt her. The disappointment in the eyes of those she cared about, holding back their thoughts and telling her what kind of monster she really was. In this moment it was all that was left, the voices of the dead whispering within her mind and the regret that followed.

She fell to the floor against her couch, her knees no longer able to hold her weight. The murmurs growing louder, the nightmares she fought against every night spilling out into her daily life. She brought her legs to her chest and buried her face in her knees, futilely covering her ears with her hands. Desperate to make it stop. Her thoughts ran wild until the sounds became a dull roar of anguish, until only one voice boomed above the rest, but was still just a whisper that she could almost feel caress her flesh.  

_Siha._

She gasped and lifted her head, staring out into the darkness of the room and into the night of the presidium that peaked out through the semi closed blinds just beyond. The voices were now gone replaced with silence and the waves of water as her eyes pooled and burned. Alone, she sat unmoving, waiting in the darkness that gripped not only her mind but her heart... and the empty spot where her soul should have been.

* * *

“The most likely of places will be the Cruiser Unveiling next week.”

“Who would want to kill me?” Shepard blinked innocently at her center monitor as she watched Feron’s expression change to disbelief, his dark eyes narrowing at her in contemplation.

“That is not a serious question, is it?” 

“Only if they think they are actually going to kill me.” Shepard flashed her teeth in a wide grin as she leaned back in her chair and crossed one leg over the other. She stared at the colorful Drell in amusement as he closed his eyes and chuckled lightly.

“If only you could make this vanish with confidence alone.”

“You are able to make this vanish, right Feron?” Shepard hardened her gaze and lowered her voice indicating to Feron exactly what she meant. She knew her eyes changed when she did that, growing cold and dark, unforgiving. He snorted at her adjusting himself in his chair clearly unfazed.

“Trust me, I am trying to do just that but their slippery bastards. The information gathered has been less than insignificant. Whoever they are, they are hiding their tracks well.”

“I trust you. I know you’ll flush them out.”

“I appreciate your faith in me.” His dark eyes searched her face the hazel irises flashing as he leaned back in his chair thoughtfully. “You have to give a speech at this event right? You’ll be distracted, that will most likely be the perfect opportunity for them to take the shot.”

“That’s what I was thinking but do you think they would risk me appearing as a martyr?” Shepard knew that the event would be recorded live, streaming on the Citadel, Earth and the Alliance colonies. If anyone were to kill her to make a statement, the most logical time would be during that open window.  

“I don’t think it matters as long as they kill you.” He had a point. She had too many enemies to count. Most who would be more than happy to kill her in any way, shape, or form. “Do you have a date yet?” He asked out of the blue pulling her full attention back to her monitor. The different colors of his scales striking and hypnotizing to look at; directing her gaze to run over every aspect of his face.

“Did Liara put you up to that question? Did she tell you to ask me that?” It was plausible for Liara to plant a bug in her office that she was unaware of and told Feron to ask her that for kicks. Feron blinked at her in confusion shifting in discomfort. She could tell from his expression that her question had caught him off guard.

“Uh, no…I just thought maybe…since you were available now…”

“Are you interested?” She blurted suddenly with a hint of teasing grinning at him as she watched his expression change from cautious to thoughtful. _Was he being serious?_ He paused a moment, his eyes shifting over her own features in curiosity. He was also trying to read her.

“I could go with you if you want. Keep an eye on you. I can arrive the night before the Unveiling.”

“You really want to do that?” His eyes ran over her again until a confident smile slowly crept over his lips.

“Actually, yeah. We could get some real nice rumors flying…paint the town red. I’m sure you know how to show someone a good time.”

“Are you sure? My idea of a having good time usually involves something blowing up behind me.” Feron snorted and laughed.

“We can make it dramatic, hair blowing in the wind, N7 logo right there for everyone to see. We can take pictures and add the Alliance symbol right behind you for flair. You could sell that picture for really good credits.”  Shepard laughed along with him, she was already the face of recruitment for the Alliance despite her ‘retirement’ and past incarceration which was kept under wraps. The Citadel would probably use that for more leverage, ‘Home of the hero’ in big red letters across her picture.

“I appreciate it Feron but there’s going to be reporters everywhere with pictures and interviews. You working for The Shadow Broker isn’t exactly a life in the limelight. We can’t compromise your identity.”

“Shepard, I would really recommend taking a Drell. Our eyes are better able to see the glint of weapons better than other races. The dim lighting has no effect on us and our hearing is better. We can notice subtle changes in behavior and body language easier, not to mention our speed and agility make us better protectors.”

“I know perfectly well what your bodies are capable of.” Shepard said absently and swallowed heavily as she realized exactly what she said. A wide toothy grin spread across Feron’s lips as he openly stared at her suggestively.

“I just took that in so many different ways.”

“I’m sure you did.”

“Now I really want to go with you...and show you exactly what my body is capable of.” _He **is** being serious._

“Are you insinuating something?” She quirked her eyebrow at him and crossed her arms over her chest trying to fight her own teasing smile from surfacing again not exactly sure if she wanted to turn him down yet.   _What exactly is he offering?_

“Maybe I am.” His gaze turned serious and dark as he glanced behind him and then leaned into the monitor lowering his voice. Clearly not wanting Liara to hear him.

“I didn’t know you were attracted to Humans.”

"I’m not, but I **_am_** attracted to you. I’ll let you take the lead and show me a few things. After…well, I’m sure you’ll enjoy the ride.”

“You wouldn’t feel uncomfortable being with me?” _Holy shit!_ She wasn’t going to lie, the thought of being with him both excited her and felt a little weird. She had never thought about him like that before. _It’s better to think of him that way than Kolyat._ Shut up inner voice, you’re getting on my nerves!

“Too late to stop this conversation from happening now I guess. But no, I wouldn’t. It’s just sex Shepard. You only make it as weird as you want it to be. If you wanted something more…” Feron glanced behind him again and lowered his voice even more. “We can always discuss that after I get there.”

“Actually…let me think about it Feron.” He smiled slowly and gave her a look that was purely male, easily recognizable no matter what species you were. It actually wasn’t a bad idea. She knew him and trusted him and she could bypass the whole weird awkward meeting someone for the first time thing.

“Now you have me really excited about coming to the Citadel.” Shepard blinked at the quick change of conversation _._ Feron was never on her radar before and honestly she never knew he was ever interested. Then again, she had been with Thane when they first met so obviously he wasn’t going to say anything, but now…could she allow that to happen? It wasn’t like she never had a fling with a friend and maybe it was just the reprieve she was looking for. She had been really on edge lately. Ever since that night with Kolyat. _Well, shit._

“Now that I’m aware of you wanting to fuck my brains out, please assure me that you won’t be angry if I turn you down though.”

“Of course not. You are one of the only two people I consider my friend in this entire universe, better than I ever deserved. Nothing will ever change that. Whether I sleep with you or not.”

“Tell me the truth, have you slept with Liara?”

“No.” He said without hesitation. “We have been through too much together. She’s like a sister to me. I can’t look at her that way.”

“But you can with me?”

“You are a very impressive woman Shepard. I must admit, there is something about you that makes me think you are capable of tu’fira. I have always been curious about that. Especially since you have the experience of being with a Drell. I bet you know exactly what it takes to bring us over the edge quick and hard if you wanted it to be.” _Tu’fira, to get lost in another._ At least Feron kept it straight and to the point. He was always honest with her.

“Are you trying to flatter me? I’m actually getting tempted. I’ll keep it in mind.” A slow smile formed over Feron’s lips and they shared a look of observation, a quiet moment of understanding. “Keep me informed if anything more is found on the target that placed the hit on me.”

“Will do. I’ll speak to you soon…and Shepard…”

“Yeah?” She watched him swallow roughly, the dark blue of his frills emitting a slight red hue underneath the delicate folds.

“Think about it.” The transmission ended and Shepard couldn’t help but shake her head and smile at Feron’s antics. Well, at least she now knew she had a stellar booty call that hopefully wouldn’t get weird if that was what she decided on.

For the next few hours she met with two clients and sifted through the remainder of the information she was trying to secure for Kolyat. So far she had been able to finalize a location for a decent mining planet and asked Feron to work on securing four new identities for her before he dropped the assassination bomb. Honestly her being targeted just seemed like another day in her life. Feron wanting to sleep with her had been the real shocker.

Pushing the vibrant Drell from her thoughts she focused on the task at hand. She was due to meet Kolyat for lunch today although she didn’t exactly know what time since he had never contacted her again afterwards to specify. Should she contact him? _No, fuck him, he should come to you._ Wait a minute this wasn’t a date. Why did it matter? She went back and forth with the idea for a few minutes before she decided to just show up at C-Sec and go with it. If he was not available they could just talk face to face and reschedule. It’s not like **_they_**   were fucking.

Grabbing the data from her computer she put the tiny data chip in her omnitool and powered down her monitors ready to head out. She gave herself a quick look in the bathroom mirror, adjusted her makeup and dress, grabbed the bag from Drala’fa, along with a second bag with a new model ship she had bought that morning and headed out into the reception area. If she didn’t come back she would bring the ship home with her afterwards.

“And where are you going looking so sexy?” Her assistant Gary whistled from behind the receptionist desk. Leaning his chin on the palm of his hand as he rested his elbow on the table and wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively.

Gary was an attractive man with a chiseled oval face, perfect nose and deep green eyes that rivaled her own. His hair was a dark brown which cascaded over his eyes and ears slightly in layers of soft shaggy tresses. Enough to grab and hold on to if the scenario presented itself.  His friendly disposition and flamboyant attitude always kept her on her toes. The only down side was his aversion to vagina. Gary was on the strictly dickly ship which did instigate come interesting conversations to say the least. 

“I’m meeting someone for lunch, I’m not sure how long I will be so reschedule my last appointment.”

“Shepard you’re looking really erotic to be going out for a casual lunch. Is this a date? Please tell me this is a date.” He asked a little too excitedly. Making her sigh and shake her head. What was with everyone and her private life?

“It’s not a date.”

“Then why are you dressed like a straight man’s wet dream? Make sure you work those hips girl if you walk in front of him.” Gary got up and started swaying his hips as he walked by her shaking his butt, rotating and popping his hip out as he stopped to pose for her. He pushed imaginary hair off his shoulder and gave her a smoldering look. “Bat you’re eyelashes and flip your hair. You’ll make him cum right on the spot.”

“You’re disgusting. It’s not like that.” She laughed shaking her head as she made her way towards the entrance. Ignoring him as he made cat calls reminding her to shake her ass. “And don’t forget to flirt!” He yelled just as she left the door.

Now that she thought about it she did kind of overdo it, but then again she still didn’t know if this was a date or not. _This is Kolyat, it’s not a date. He just invited you to lunch._ Most likely he wanted to spit in her face and curse at her for shooting him…or punching him…or calling him a cocky little shit. Oh wait, that was only in her head. Suddenly she faltered a moment as she realized how adamant she was about convincing herself that this wasn’t a date. If it wasn’t a date, then why did she still secretly look forward to seeing him, despite how much she denied it, and dressed herself up…and bought him a gift. _You didn’t dress up for him, you just wanted to feel good about yourself after the night you had._ Shepard forced down the rising dread in her chest and kept her gaze focused on the street before her as she debated whether she had overdone it with the way she looked.

She had on a light coat of eyeliner and mascara with dark red lipstick. She hated blush and opted out but her outfit was definitely something she would wear on a date. She was still mulling over the idea in her brain as she approached the Lower Ward Station.

She had on a long sleeved round neck batwing black cashmere dress that ended at her upper thighs, complete with knee high four inch tight black leather boots. She had a long gold chain that dangled beneath her breasts with tiny gold beaded tassels in prefect flair. She ignored the stares as she went, the lust apparent in people’s eyes as men ran their gaze’s over her legs and body. _You can look, but don’t you fucking touch._ She quickly walked through C-Sec headquarters, her blood red tendrils loose and bouncing around her shoulders as she rounded a corner and made her way over to Bailey’s desk. Looking around she noticed he was nowhere in sight. Just an Asari typing vigorously at a desk nearby.

“Excuse me.” She said politely approaching the dark blue woman slowly. “I’m looking for Captain Bailey.”

“He’s in a meeting right now.” She smiled and answered softly her own eyes trailing over her in desire. _Crap, I forgot it wasn’t only the men she had to worry about._ Maybe she did overdo it. _No, fuck it. I look amazing…and it wasn’t for Kolyat._

“Then, can you direct me to Kolyat Krios?”

“What do you want with Krios?” The womans face changed immediately, kindness and warmth now gone replaced only with resentment and disgust. _Wow someone pissed someone off._ Knowing Kolyat that seemed about right.

“Not that it’s any of your concern but I came to see him.” The woman sucked her teeth and gave her a once over again before turning back to her monitor to continue typing.

“You’re beautiful I’ll give you that, but if this isn’t about a patrol case I suggest you don’t even bother. If he’s slept with you, then he’s probably no longer interested.” _Wow, and she thought she was a bitch._

“That’s pretty straight forward to talk about your co-worker like that to a complete stranger.”

“It’s no secret that we hate each other.” _Jesus, who pissed in her cheerios?_

“Let me guess…he never called you back.” The woman’s features contorted in rage as she got to her feet, slamming her hands down on her desk. Shepard had to fight the urge to grab the gun from her purse and shove it in her mouth as a reflex maneuver.

“Kolyat is just an asshole and if you had half a mind you wouldn’t get mixed up with him.” Her lips quirked at the woman’s anger and she had to use everything in her not to laugh. It was true that Kolyat could be pretty harsh but he was always up front about how he felt or what his views were, at least from what she had experienced and what Thane had told her. Clearly this woman didn’t get the memo when they hooked up. Just then the back doors opened and Captain Bailey and the subject of their discussion walked in closely behind him.

He was dressed in his C-Sec Uniform without his jacket, the tight dark navy blue short sleeved material forming to his body, showing off his broad shoulders and chest. The black designs and lines complemented the black stripes over his arms matching him perfectly. She watched the way he moved, the fluid motions of his steps as he kept stride with the captain, black boots and slightly flared cargo pants hugging the lean line of his hips and thighs. A leather holster around his waist held his Pistol against his upper thigh. Bailey handed him a datapad which he took absently since he was already reading one over in his other hand. She turned her body towards them and waited patiently for them to notice her as both were preoccupied in work mode.

“Make sure you finish this one too.” Bailey said handing a second datapad to him which made him pause to reposition the three he now held. Both their stares met hers at the same time and she smiled pleasantly waving slightly.

“Shepard, this is a surprise. What are you doing here?” Bailey asked making his way over to her.

“I asked her to come.” Kolyat spoke up quickly approaching Bailey’s desk and placing the datapads upon it, noticing how Kolyat completely ignored the Asari as he walked past her. Her bright blue eyes now staring at her in shock. “I’m going to go on my lunch break. I’ll finish the reports when I get back.”

“Yeah, sure kid. Since you’re with Shepard take your time. I’ll know you’ll get everything done when you get back.” Kolyat nodded to the older man and approached her slowly. Noticing immediately how his eyes trailed up her legs and over her body until his eyes met hers. She fidgeted momentarily adjusting her hold on the bags.

“I almost didn’t think you would come.” Kolyat spoke evenly making her smile at him in mischief.

“Well you never specified a time so…If you want I can always go back to work if you changed your mind. You seem like you have a lot of work to do.”

“This is C-Sec, there’s always a lot of work to do. But no, I want to take you to lunch…I’ll hold these for you.” He took the bags from her grasp and she blinked at him in surprise. He was being awfully…pleasant. Throwing them over his shoulder, he suddenly placed a hand on her lower back to guide her out the way she came. Normally she would have tensed her whole body from the over familiar touch, but all she could suddenly focus on was the feeling of his cool scales over the tight confines of her dress.

“Are you shitting me? Are you actually taking Commander Shepard to lunch? Do you have any shame?” The Aasari spoke up suddenly pushing her chair back, making it scrape loudly upon the floor. Her attention was pulled back to the one night stand who now glared at her like she wanted to strangle her. She seriously wanted to shove her gun down this woman’s throat now.

“Alana, what has gotten into you?” Bailey said sternly eyeing the woman in anger crossing his broad forearms over his chest. Shepard had a fleeting thought that he must bench fucking cars for how big his arms were.

“Easy Alana, jealousy is not a good color for you.” Kolyat said harshly as he continued urging her forward and away.

“Go to hell Kolyat, as for you…” Alana’s eyes turned to her, malice and loathing blazing back at her. “I hope you shoot him in the dick as soon as he cheats on you.” Shepard turned around quickly and frowned from this woman’s display. She had enough. If this woman wanted to have a bitch game then she was ready to play.

“Honestly, Kolyat taking me to lunch is none of your fucking business. It’s not my fault that men actually call me back. But don’t worry Alana, I’ll make sure to put in a word about you to Kolyat. But it might just remind him to take out the trash.” Kolyat coughed and turned his head trying not to laugh. The expression on the Asari’s face was priceless as she turned once more and let Kolyat continue leading her away.

As they made their way back through the station her irritation from Alana’s display still gnawed at her as she became more aware of the curious glances and the way people stared at them. Eyes shifting to Kolyat and then to his hand on her lower back. _Should she push him away?_ She suddenly felt self-conscious, she was use to people gawking at her or staring in every way shape or form but with Kolyat next to her, she unexpectedly felt more aware. Did he feel as anxious as her? Maybe her coming here was a mistake after all. Was her presence embarrassing him?

“Am I ruining your bad boy image since your carrying my bags?” She said jokingly trying to lighten the air that seemed to apparently only be choking her.

“I apologize for everyone staring. I’m the only Drell in C-Sec so I get a lot of unwanted attention.” He sighed as he moved away from her dropping his hand from her back. The spot where he was touching her felt suddenly cold and uncomfortable from his absence. His voice held an edge of discontent as she thought how he must feel to be the only Drell in the service. Surely he had friends? She doubted he spoke about his problems to women like Alana. Actually, if the women he usually took home were like her than he deserved anguish. Maybe he was attracted to bitches? She tried not to think too hard about that thought.

“Oh…I thought maybe my underwear was showing or something. That would be really embarrassing.” Kolyat snorted loudly and snickered from her words.

“Well, if you fall on your ass in your heels you can always distract them by shooting your way out of the room.” Kolyat’s voice was dry as he cracked the joke but Shepard stopped in her tracks and laughed hysterically. A few more heads turned in their direction but all her attention was on the man before her who turned back to look at her when he realized she wasn’t behind him.

“Could you imagine? Don’t put these fantasies into my head. You’re going to get me excited. Damn, now I think I want to fake fall and make it happen.”

“I doubt opening fire in C-Sec headquarters is the most logical decision. Even for you.” His eyes trailed up her legs and over her body once again, studying every detail.

“Are you checking me out?” She asked blatantly crossing her arms over her chest in disapproval making him grin at her smugly.

“I was trying to figure out where your gun was hidden.”

“I could tell you, but then I would have to kill you.” She answered cheekily, folding her hands behind her back as she bounced in her footsteps passing him, seeing the grin grow wider on his lips as she continued on her way out of the station. Now smiling and blowing kisses to everyone who tried to stare at her. When they left the station she stopped and turned back towards Kolyat unsure where he had planned to take her.

“Do you have any preference of where you would like to eat? I’m not sure what you like.”

“You could have sent me a message and asked.” Placing a hand on her hip she grinned as she watched his frills darken in color as he looked away and rubbed the back of his head. 

“I…really didn’t think you would actually show up.”

“I had to come by, you asked me to do something for you remember.” Kolyat hesitated and frowned as he stuck his hand in his pocket suddenly glaring at her. _Jesus, what mood swings._

“Is that the only reason you came? To give me the information?”

She stared back at him and blinked slowly, forcing herself to keep her expression as neutral as possible. Was he expecting something else?  He was clearly upset about something now. Did he really consider this to be something more? Wait a minute, this wasn’t a date!  She sighed at her indecisiveness finally deciding to come straight out and ask him. It was going to drive her crazy if she didn’t know.

“Kolyat was this supposed to be a date?” 

“Do you want it to be a date?” He turned his gaze completely on her, his dark endless eyes unrevealing. She shifted in her heels in discomfort. The intensity of his gaze quickly making her feel flustered. If she stared into them any longer she might drown in their depths. She forced herself to regain her composure. No way was he about to turn this on her! She smiled and forced herself to look away turning only slightly to glance over her shoulder at him nonchalantly. _Play it cool. Poker face Sarah, you can do it._

“Don’t you consider going on a date with me inappropriate?”

“Do I make you uncomfortable?”

“A little.” She admitted. He stared at her impassively his expression not letting her know if he had taken that in the wrong way or not. He took a step towards her and smiled on the precipice of crudeness.

“It’s a start.”

“What?” _What the hell did he mean by that?_ It’s a start? Was he playing games with her? He remained quiet as they had a staring battle ignoring the people who glanced at them curiously as they passed by. Well, they were standing right in front of the station. Eventually she gave in and sighed. _Fine. I can play._

“Since we’re both unwilling to specify if this is a date or not. Next time you invite me out, let me know if this is supposed to be a date. Maybe I’ll dress up for you.”

“You’re so full of shit. I know you don’t dress like this normally.” He grinned harshly as he started walking past her pausing for a just a moment as his gaze trailed up her body. He whispered to her just as he approached. “I would have complimented how beautiful you look you know, how nice you smell. I would have recognized how long it would have taken for you to look this sexy for me…but we’re not specifying if this is a date, so I don’t have to say those things…or mean them.”

 _What. The. Fuck. Did he just say that?_ Shepard blinked in surprised from his statement, unable to respond at first. _Holy shit, he just word fucked my brain._ She turned to stare at his back watching the hard expanse of lean muscles. His shoulders flexing underneath the tight fabric of his uniform. Her eyes trailing lower to his hips and… _What the fuck!_ How dare he try to read her and put inappropriate thoughts in her mind!

“I didn’t dress like this for you, asshole.” She scoffed in disgust, unwilling to admit just that. His voice was smug and condescending but she could feel the heat erupt over her cheeks but choose to ignore it. _What a dick._

She followed him in silence glaring at the back of his head, studying the ridges and stripe patterns over his scales and the curve of his neck. The dull metal of his Hikari unmoving as he walked. Eventually they made their way to a small café and she followed him to one of the few available tables. He placed her bags by the seat further in and ushered her to sit pushing in her chair for her as she got comfortable. _Well, at least he was a gentlemanly jerkoff._

As he was sitting down across from her a Salarian waiter came over and handed them some menus and two glasses of water. She smiled warmly and thanked him as he welcomed them both before excusing himself to give them a few moments to decide.

“So, have you ever been here before?” She asked trying to keep the conversation light between them to avoid uncomfortable silence and to calm her anger down.

“A few times. This is a popular spot for lunch. The food is really good and they have a large variety of accommodations from different planets. It’s mostly Levo friendly. We can both eat mostly anything on this menu. The ones at the bottom highlighted in blue are not for us.”

“Ok. Avoid the blue. Got it.” She skimmed over the menu until excitement gripped her chest. Everything that happened between them moments ago forgotten as she entered food heaven. “They have sushi? Oh man, I am so down.”

“I have seen people order it but I have never tried it.”

“Really? Do you like fish?”

“I eat it from time to time.”

“So order a small one and try it. Actually better yet I’ll get a large one and share it with you, since I’m going to get a small salad also. I don’t care for shrimp so you can take that and-“

“So you would give me what you don’t like.” He frowned at her immediately placing the menu down on the table to sit back in his chair and cross his arms over his chest in displeasure. She laughed softly from his budding irritation. _What was he, like four?_

“Easy killer. Shrimp is actually a delicacy on my planet, most humans love it. I don’t really care for it. I was **_going_** to say that you can have two pieces of my salmon also, which is **_my_** favorite, since I get four pieces. There are other kinds but I thought you might like those the best to start off with. If you feel more adventurous let me know.

He swallowed roughly, the frills on his throat expanding and darkening for a moment as he adjusted himself in his seat as the waiter came back. They both placed their orders and after the waiter left silence suddenly stretched out between them. It wasn’t an uncomfortable quiet but you could tell that there was a heavy veil of unspoken words between them. She was actually curious to see how long they could both go without saying something but she decided to be the first to speak. Clicking on her omnitool she pulled up the information that she had acquired so far. She motioned for Kolyat to give her his arm. Touching her omnitool to his she transferred the data and waited for him to look through it.

“That lets you know the location, job details, schooling curriculum for the children, training services, recreational activities and wages. It’s not only a mining facility but a farming one also, in case one job is not a right fit for someone. It’s a fifteen year contract, so make sure that this is what they want. As for the other thing you asked for…I have friend working on that, but I need something else from you before we can continue with the final requirement.”

“Of course. Whatever you need.”

“I need names Kolyat. You never supplied them and I need them if…well, you know.” Kolyat looked around hesitantly eying the surrounding tables in suspicion. She had to fight the smile from her lips as he scouted to see if anyone was listening.

“I would prefer it if we were in your office.”

“I understand client privacy. Can you stop by tomorrow afternoon?”

“The morning would be better for me. When I get back to the office I have to finish some reports, then try to get a couple hours of sleep. I took an extra overnight shift and I can stop by when I get off. Tomorrow afternoon I will have to catch up on some more studying and sleeping before my regular shift tomorrow night.”

“Wow…and I thought I was busy.” She pulled up her schedule on her omnitool and saw that she had some time before 0930.”

“What time do you get off?”

“0800.”

“Perfect. That works for me.” He nodded just as her salad arrived and she took a small plate and shared it with him.

“You don’t have to do that.” He tried to deny it but she just shoved it in front of him anyway.

“Trust me, I am probably more stubborn then you so if you don’t eat it I’ll just let it sit there and not touch it over principle.” Kolyat frowned and shook his head as he picked up his fork and started eating with her once again falling into silence. They both stared at each other warily, she could tell he was trying to read her as much as she was trying to wrap her head around the whole thing of just sitting at a table and having a meal with him. She had never spent time like this with him before and without the haze of alcohol she found herself growing nervous under his stare. She would rather face five charging Krogan’s than sit with a man who she secretly wondered what the pressure of his fingers would be like when he spread her thighs widely apart. Shepard suddenly choked on her food as she panicked from the thought that suddenly entered her mind. Kolyat jumped to his feet ready to pat her back but she held up her hand to stop him and drank her water deeply trying to control her breaths.

“Are you okay?” He asked blinking at her in concern, both eye ridges raised.

“Yeah…I think the suspense is getting to me.”

“What suspense?”

“I just keep wondering when you’re going to call me a bitch and curse me out.”

“What?” His eyes started to narrow as he frowned at her accusation while he took his seat again.

“I mean that **_is_** why you invited me to lunch right? You wanted to rant and rave, throw insults, maybe something like…”

“Shepard-“

“No wait, I got this.” She held up her hand cutting him off taking a moment to think. “You can say something like…shut up bitch, you’ll never be the man your mother is!” Kolyat’s lips twitched slightly from what she said and his eyes softened in amusement. “You didn’t like that one? Wait, give me a minute I can think of something else…”

“Shepard-“

“I got it! I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you…oh wait…you don’t have a middle finger, damn that was a human joke…oh wait, you would be saying that to me so yeah, I guess it could work, wait…no, not really.”

“Shep-.” She clapped her hands together excitedly cutting him off one last time.

“I don’t exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water. I’d drink it.” She laughed and pointed at him in enthusiasm as he covered his mouth to hide a soft laugh. “Now tell me that one wasn’t funny?”

“Do you normally act like this?”

“Yeah...why?” She blinked at him slowly in confusion as she saw the assessment in his gaze, taking a sip of her water again. Was he judging her? He had no right to judge her! “All jokes aside, do you really think its shoot first, ask questions later?” Kolyat smirked as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in his chair.

“Well actually…”

“Shut up.” She smiled turning her face away from him a moment before their eyes met again, feeling her heart beat suddenly quicken. She pushed her hair over her shoulder and ignored the pounding in her chest. “So…if you didn’t invite me here to throw water in my face or something. What did you want to discuss?” Kolyat hesitated a moment before letting out a deep breath.

“I wanted to apologize.”

“Wow. Really?”

“Why do you sound so surprised?”

“Well I mean…what exactly are you apologizing for? For kissing me, insulting me or bleeding on my carpet?” Kolyat scowled as he stared at her. She knew she was being a bitch but she really wanted to make sure they were on the same page.

“For insulting you. I should not have accused you of tarnishing my father’s memory. For treating you in such a way. I did not mean to…say what I said. For that, I am sorry.” He was quiet for a long while even after their food had arrived as she took what he said and mulled it over in her brain. Taking the shrimp from her plate and adding the two pieces of salmon she placed each one on his dish of mixed vegetables and some kind of rice that looked black.

“I’ve never seen black rice before.”

“Do you want to try some? I assure you I’m not giving you something I don’t like.”

“Very funny…alright, I’m adventurous.” She pushed her plate over and he put a small portion on her plate along with a few unidentifiable vegetables. He saw her eye them and grinned at her reaction.

“The purple and blue vegetables are from Kahje, the yellow one is from Thessia and I’m sure you recognize the orange and green ones from Earth.”

Shepard hesitantly ate what he gave her actually surprised when some of them were sweet and buttery. As she lifted a piece of salmon to her lips she frowned as she thought about the night at the C-Sec Ball. He had only apologized for what he said, so what about everything else?

“So…you don’t apologize for kissing me?” Kolyat paused in mid bite, bringing his fork back down to his plate he stared at her in contemplation. Was he really thinking about this?

“I don’t think you would appreciate my honest answer to that question, besides I believe you have something to apologize for as well.”

“So were only doing one apology?”

“If you would prefer to look at it that way.”

“So then it’s my turn?” Kolyat nodded solemnly narrowing his eyes at her, leaning back in his chair.

“I am curious which one you will apologize for. Punching me, shooting me or automatically assuming I was in some kind of trouble when I came to see you.”

“Punching you the first time or the second? We should be more specific here if we’re doing apologies.”

“Are you trying to get me upset?”

“You’re so touchy…well since were only picking one…I’m sorry for shooting you. I guess I over reacted.”

“You **_guess_** you overreacted?”

“Okay! I over reacted. I’m sorry. I did nick you harder than I thought I did…and I kind of destroyed your jacket, right? I know they’re expensive.” Kolyat grimaced and sighed.

“It might not be a complete loss. I have a friend that is going to try and fix it for me. That’s why I picked up an extra shift. The cost of the fix is pricey and I can’t afford a new one at this particular moment.

“Wow, make me feel like shit.” She crossed a leg over the other and sat back in her chair to cross her arms as well. He smiled at her softly and she was a little surprised that he did not radiate anger but understanding and warmth.

“If that was the price I had to make for kissing you, than I think the memory alone was worth it.”

Shepard’s heartbeat started to race from Kolyat’s words. He wasn’t serious was he? Did he even realize what he had just said to her? _That was a compliment dummy._ Wait a minute, that shouldn’t have even happened! _But you instigated the kiss._ Well, shit. That was true too. She sighed and decided to let it slide, she had kissed worse men in her life and truthfully even though she shouldn’t have done it, kissing Kolyat had been more enjoyable then she cared to admit. _‘I wouldn’t only be kissing you…I’d be fucking you right now’._ Did he just admit to using solipsism to remember that night? The nagging thought of asking him just how many times he has relived their kiss haunted her but she had to push the question aside. Something told her she wouldn’t know how to process his answer. She took another sip of her water and reached beside her to slide the black bag over to his side of the table making him quirk his eyeridge at her in curiosity.

“Well until you can get your jacket fixed, I got you something. To go along with my apology. The black bag is actually a gift for you.”

“A gift?” He looked down at the bag and cautiously pulled it over to him. Glancing within and pulling out the black box. The look in his eyes hardened as he ran his finger over the satin ribbon, swallowing roughly. She could literally see his face darken as he untied the ribbon. What the hell was going through his head?

He was quiet as he placed the box on the table, his expression unreadable. Was buying him a gift wrong? Was he seeing it as a bribe? Shepard wracked her brain as she thought about any culture taboos with Drell’s and gifts. She didn’t have any problems when she gave Thane anything and if it was inappropriate she was sure Taran would have mentioned something to her. Oh…was that why he asked if Kolyat was more than a friend? Maybe it was only appropriate between lovers or really close friends? Now that she thought about it her first gift to Thane and vice versa was after they had already expressed their romantic interest in one another. As she observed Kolyat slowly open the box to glance within, her stomach knotted in worry and anticipation. What if he didn’t like it? What if he threw it back at her and said ‘fuck off’. What if a gift was a sexual invitation she wasn’t aware of? _Would that really matter?_ Wait, what?

Shepard had to stifle a groan as her mind ran wild. Would it be really crazy if she just grabbed the box and made a mad dash for it out of the café, yelling never mind? _Yeah, no one would think you’re crazy._ She crossed her arms over her chest burying her fingertips against her sides as they subconsciously began to flex, forcing herself not to rip the box from his hands in panic. His eyes suddenly widened in surprise when he pulled back the white cloth to see the jacket and vest beneath. His fingers gently touching the leather fabric as he pulled it out to examine it further.

“There’s matching pants also. I didn’t really know your size so-”

“You went to Drala’fa.” It wasn’t a question. It was stated fact. His voice was low and ominous as he held the clothes in his hands rubbing his thumbs over the material, face still unreadable.

“Do you know it?” He nodded solemnly glancing at her for a brief second as he reached back into the box. The air around them started to feel stifling. Electric currents of something building that she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Maybe she should lighten the mood?  “Have you seen the guns they have there? I have to admit, I wanted to lick the glass of one of the display windows. Did you see the new Viper? Now that is sleek and sexy. I would love to wrap my fingers around that kind of girth.” Shepard grinned as she crossed one of her legs over the other leaning back in her chair to assess his reaction. His face grew sullen as he took the pants out of the box. _Jesus, what the hell was the matter with him? Did she get the wrong size? Fucking Kolyat, now she understood why Thane was so tight lipped about the days he spent with him. He probably drove him crazy too!_

“Was the shop keeper there when you went? Did he sell this to you? He has grey scales and-”

“Taran? He helped me pick the outfit. Do you know him?” Kolyat looked away and sighed placing everything back in the box and closing the top of it. He paused a moment and frowned almost regrettably.

“His full name is Taran Amani, he and his wife Mira are my closest friends.” Shepard thought back to her time with Taran and everything started to make more… _Oh…’Does he know you are buying this for him?’ ‘I just think that perhaps he might mean more to you than you would care to admit’._

“Well…that explains the look he gave me when he asked me to describe your scale color and markings. I guess he realized right away who I was buying this for. It also explains the odd questions when I was paying.”

“He’s the one who is fixing my jacket. I went to his store the other day and saw this particular leather and told him I wanted to buy it.”

“Well look on the bright side, at least I got you something you wanted!” Shepard laughed uncomfortably as she realized that she might have given the wrong idea to Kolyat’s best friend. Taran would definitely tell his wife and now that would probably cause problems for Kolyat. She didn’t want to give him any stress right before his exam. _Way to go Sarah, you always know how to cause just the right amount of commotion._

“I’m sorry Kolyat. I was never good at this sort of thing. I always do something wrong or inappropriate. I embarrass people…and I make situations worse. You don’t have to accept my gift. I’ll return it. I’ll just tell him I changed my mind.” She reached out her hands for the box, her fingers gliding over the smooth textured material.

“No.” Kolyat shot his hands out and grabbed her wrists holding them firmly between them. “I want it. Thank you, I accept your gift.” She could feel her heartbeat pick up as their eyes met, her body becoming super aware of his presence as his fingers brushed over the tops of her hands.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to cause any problems.”

“I will deal with Taran’s teasing. I’ve put him through much worse, believe me.” Kolyat smiled gently as the air between them started to calm. They didn’t move for a few moments both frozen to the spot until the server came back to take their plates and give them their drinks. She was thankful for the sudden distraction as he was forced to let her go. Kolyat took the box off the table and placed it back in the bag as their drinks were put down in front of them. She grabbed the cup a little too eagerly blowing into the steaming liquid as she smelled the divine aroma wafting in the air from caffeine ecstasy. Pure bliss flowing over her features.

“I never understood Human’s and their addiction to coffee.”

“This isn’t just coffee, this is heaven. Have you ever tried it?”

“No.” Kolyat said dismissively as he lifted his tea to take a sip.

“Then you have no right to jump to conclusions. You should try it before you knock it. Here, let’s switch.” Shepard stood quickly ignoring Kolyat’s startled look as she leaned over the table and slid their cups between the two of them.

“Sometimes I take mine black, especially if I’m having a particularly hard day. Usually though I like it with cream and sugar. Cappuccino’s like this have a stronger coffee in it called espresso. The expresso is at the bottom and microfoam on top which is made by steaming milk. It gives the drink a velvety texture. I have to put a little sugar in mine though, espresso can be very bitter.”

Kolyat stared down at the cup stoically glancing at her as she picked up his tea. His eyes widened a bit as she took a sip from his cup. The smooth liquid was soft and mellow, with undertones of some kind of fruit or plant. It tasted almost like oranges and hibiscus but perhaps another fruit that she wasn’t familiar with. She paused and stared down at the cup as she brought it from her mouth second guessing her actions now. Maybe she was a little too quick to act, he probably thought that was incredibly rude of her to switch their drinks without asking. She looked back up at him hesitantly expecting anger to be staring back at her but instead he was looking at her with an expression she wasn’t entirely sure of. Kolyat licked his lips and took a sip of her coffee. She took a second small taste of his tea hiding the pleased smile that erupted over her lips. He choked suddenly and turned his head.

“That is really bitter.” He said between coughs taking a chug of his water to calm his gasping.

“Here try this.” She reached across the table to take her coffee. Stirring some sugar in to it she slide it back towards him. “Try it now.” Cautiously he picking the cup back up, looking down at it warily as if he was debating whether he wanted to try it again. Sighing he brought the cup back to his lips and took another taste. This time he looked at her thoughtfully as he placed it down. “Better? Want to trade?” She asked sarcastically grinning as she brought his tea back to her lips.

“Maybe next time.” Her lips suddenly touched his hand and she pulled back in surprise. He was already standing up, his hand covering the top of his cup to prevent her from drinking anymore. _Fuck he’s fast. I didn’t even hear him get up._ He grinned down at her and gently took his cup from her and switched their drinks back before sitting down.

“Your tea is really good. You might have just converted me to try it more often.”

“This one is called Soryu. It’s one of my favorites, hibiscus from Earth with jisu a fruit from Kahje that tastes almost like an orange.” 

“That’s what I got from it. I actually thought it was an orange. It’s really good.” Shepard took a swill of her drink gulping heavily unable to stop a shudder of bliss. “Oh God that’s good. I love coffee. Never mind, I take it back. I’m not giving this up.” Kolyat laughed deeply, the double rumble of sound making her glance at him as he brought his own cup back his lips. Why did this feel so natural? ‘ _I would suggest taking a Drell’._ Maybe she should ask Kolyat instead of Feron to the Unveiling? _Bodyguard, not fuck buddy right?_ Wait…should she ask him? She stared down at the table deep in thought as the idea started to form in her mind. Would he be able to handle it? She didn’t want to put him in any unnecessary danger but he had done patrolling and probably knew the signs to look for during the time that she would be distracted.

“Kolyat, have you finished your suspicious activity training?” Kolyat paused as he was taking a sip from his tea again and narrowed his eyes at her.

“Yes?” His gaze slowly started scanning the area around them. She smiled gently as her question was misinterpreted for some sort of active threat.

“So…I need a favor.” Her voice was low and she couldn’t hide the uncertainty as she spoke. Maybe she shouldn’t ask him? _Just do it…no don’t do it._

“A favor?”

“If you say no, I completely understand and if you don’t want to be seen with me I completely understand as well.” Kolyat scrunched his eyeridges down in confusion as he glanced around once more in hesitation.

“What would make you think that I don’t want to be seen with you? Were in a public place having lunch. Besides, we already made a scene at C-Sec earlier.”

“I…actually your right but that’s not exactly…What I meant to say was if you don’t want to be seen with me on a grander scale. Like reporters and crowds and people in your face…”

“You’re rambling. Whatever favor you need I’ll do it. We can both agree that I owe you one.”

“I…” She didn’t exactly know how to word it and honestly she couldn’t explain herself too much out in the open. Would he get the wrong idea? Would he laugh in her face? _He’s going to say no._ “I need someone to accompany me at the New Cruiser Unveiling in a few days.”

“Accompany you?”

“A body guard disguised as my date.” She said plainly and watched his expression turn from peaked interest to somber in an instant.

“Are you in danger?”

“I’m Commander Shepard, Sole survivor of the Skyllian Blitz attack on Elysium. Hero of the Citadel. Face of the Alliance and symbol for all humanity. I have been regarded to be an icon of hope and peace, justice and swift judgement. A paragon for my species.” Her voice was methodic as she spoke knowing exactly what her titles were but not at all impressed with herself. She looked away a moment fighting the nightmares from slipping past her mask. _So much death and blood._ That’s all she needed was to have a freak out session in the middle of lunch with Kolyat. _Then he’ll really know how crazy you are._

“Sarah…” His voice was kind as he reached his hand slightly towards her upon the table, the slight movement not going unnoticed as she was brought back to herself.

“I’m always in danger…I have made a lot of enemies over the course of my short life. Many…who would be more than willing to watch me burn and fall.” He was silent as he stared at her, neither of them saying anything for a long while. She was curious to know exactly what was going through his head. His expression was unreadable but she knew he was contemplating things over in his mind. He was probably realizing that he shouldn’t get mixed up with her after all. Eventually she laughed softly as the waiter came back and placed the small data receipt on the table. Kolyat grabbed it quickly just as she was about to reach for it and snorted in displeasure.

“I told you that this would be my treat.”

“I guess you did. Thank you for lunch Kolyat, I’m glad I decided to come.” Kolyat nodded slightly and glanced down at his omnitool. He took another deep drink from his tea and slowly started to get up grabbing the black shopping bag.

“It’s getting late. I should get back.” She smiled at him as she made herself more comfortable and took another sip from her coffee not ready to leave just yet but knowing Kolyat had to get back to work. He didn’t answer her about the Unveiling and she had a fleeting thought that he was trying to turn her down politely.

“Kolyat, I just want you to know-“

“We can talk more about this in your office. I don’t think you really want to discuss the details out in the open.”

“So…you’ll consider it?” She blinked up at him in surprise as he nodded.

“I just have one question though.”

“Of course.”

“Am I going to be considered your date? Or am I just a stand in?” Shepard swallowed roughly as she felt her heart begin to hammer wildly against her chest. The intensity in Kolyat’s eyes caught her off guard. Making her feel exposed and naked, as if he was trying to search for something hidden within herself or that only he could see. Her stomach started tightening in anxiety. _What the fuck body, don’t betray me now._ She forced a grin to spread over her lips as soon as she realized he was trying to bait her.

“Do you want it to be a date?” She retorted cheekily forcing Kolyat to sneer and narrow his eyes at her in growing humor. His gaze ran over her body as he studied every visible inch of her. She had to control a shiver from overtaking her from the unseen force his gaze created. A languid wide smirk formed over his pouty lips. _Oh God. Is he doing the Drell version of the smolder?_ No…maybe he was still looking for her gun. He was definitely NOT checking her out.

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning Shepard. Promise me you won’t shoot me this time.”

“That’s a really hard promise to keep.”

“And if I bring you coffee?” Shepard pursed her lips forcing herself to fight a smile and failing. The look on Kolyat’s face though made her already know that he had just won her over.

“I have been known to take bribes every once in a while.”

“I will keep it in mind.” He bowed his head slightly as they said their goodbye’s and as she watched him leave, she had to wonder why  the sudden prospect of seeing him again made her heart race a little  faster and her stomach knot in anticipation.  

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Kolyat rubbed the back of his neck and sighed as he left C-Sec headquarters feeling the exhaustion of the day finally starting to seep into his body. It had been a long uneventful night and the act of completing an overnight shift was still something he needed to get used to. Luckily for now, most of his patrols were kept in the jurisdiction of the Presidium, since he was still technically in training. The rougher stuff, he would not be allowed to touch until he became a full-fledged C-Sec Officer. Although that meant his days; when he wasn’t stuck at his desk; were boring half the time.

Kolyat hated the fact that the most action he would ever get the chance to see was the occasional theft or drunken disturbance. Only once did he get pinned down in a fire fight when a bar tussle turned into a full-fledged bout of macho stupidity. Of course it had been over some stupid female and credits. Most of the time though he was called in for breaches of security, only once a murder. Although at the time he wasn’t allowed to approach the crime scene, only run a perimeter sweep. The real work was left for the detectives.

He couldn’t wait until he took that test. Just the thought of it made his heart race in excitement and impatience. With the proper training and experience he would be able to patrol the lower wards where the real action happened. With the right partner, he could make a real difference and do what he had finally decided to do with his life. Protect others less fortunate, save lives and families. Trying to prevent more children from ending up like he almost did.

He smiled a moment as he thought about his partner being a hot Asari, but then frowned when he realized it didn’t matter because he wouldn’t be able to fuck her anyway. He was adamant about keeping his work and personal life separated. He had already slipped up once and slept with Alana, not knowing she was an officer when he picked her up at Flux. He would never forget the look on her face when he had passed her the day she was transferred to the training area. He just glanced at her and refused to give her the time of day, making sure she had seen the bigger picture and what their night had meant. Just sex, nothing more. He didn’t do relationships. Not after the hell Zahria had put him through. He just hoped that if his partner was a female, she wasn’t a complete bitch. Truthfully though with statistics, it was more plausible for his partner to be a Turian.

Kolyat yawned deeply feeling his three hours of sleep in the last two days starting to weigh down on him. He knew he had been overloading his schedule, with the extra studying and now the extra hours at work. He was starting to feel run down. He seriously needed some sleep this afternoon before his next shift, but he still needed to go see Shepard first.

He forced himself to fight down the rising eagerness in his chest from the prospect of seeing her again so soon. He suddenly felt nervous as he hesitated at the bottom of her office stairs, this time armed with a tray of coffee and tea. _‘I have been known to take bribes’._ He had ended up in solipsism several times since yesterday, remembering things from the previous day.

Even though he still hadn’t spent much time with her, he could already see that she was different then he imagined her to be. His father had told him tales about her bravery. The things that she had accomplished. How professional and courteous she was to those she wanted to help. Of course he had heard the stories, couldn’t help but ask questions or eavesdrop if he ever heard anyone talk about her. There were many rumors and speculations of course, half he couldn’t even take seriously. Secret Hanar lover affairs and stored away slave children. Some even said she gave birth from a secret lover and that’s why she disappeared for two years. Corrupt political associations and xenophile orgy accusations. There were those of course that made him fearful of her, rumors of things that she had experienced and done, people she savagely killed, although he could never tell what was truth or myth.

Thinking back on his first encounter of her, how she had yelled his name from the catwalk surprising him. Her eyes burning into his like a raging emerald storm, enough to cause him hesitation and distraction from his target. He was so pissed that he had missed his mark and in turn she had chased him through the Citadel in that tight black armor, like a dark angel of vengeance, only to stop him from killing that Turian.

He could see why his father had called her Siha. He could see why people respected her. He could see how quick her personality could change from playful to deadly in a moment, but what he couldn’t see, was exactly how many aspects of her personality existed. There was something about her though that made him want to find out. Something that drew him to her. To trail a dangerous line and push her. He doubted many men came out from that experience unscathed, but he wanted to try. He just couldn’t figure out if it was just sex he wanted or perhaps something else.

Maybe he had a death wish, or maybe he just liked it rough. Either way, he knew he wasn’t being smart about any of it, pushing the boundaries between them. The terrible thoughts in his head. There was just something about her though that made him unable to control his mouth. Kolyat knew he was a vocal individual, sometimes hard to handle. He was quick to speak his mind and not hold back his feelings. It seemed like she was no different. Almost carefree and uncaring of what people thought about her. It was one of the things he liked most so far.

He knew the thoughts going through his mind were wrong and most likely to get him in serious trouble, but he couldn’t stop thinking about her since the night she let him kiss her. What she had felt like, tasted like, smelt like. _The way she had looked at the station._ Kolyat groaned as his mind wandered to the way her hips swayed as she walked. How perfect her pale legs were, the thick mass of red hair that was sexy and wild, just like he imagined her to be. He could see the lust in the eyes of most of the males she passed.

Despite sections of awkward silence, lunch had felt more comfortable than he thought it would be. She was playful, fun and lively. Maybe what he had seen at the C-Sec ball was just a moment of sadness, perhaps a bad day? Even though his gut had sensed something off about her, she had given him no other reason to think otherwise. He thought perhaps…well maybe he was over reading it.

What interested him the most now though was the thought of his father with her. He knew his father had loved her deeply. Saw it in the small smile that would find its way to his lips when he spoke about her. The kind look in his eyes if he thought about her. His father was usually so serious when he spoke, never really showing him much of his personality other than his unending patience or sharp tongue when he had reached his limit. How was it that she had fallen in love with him? Most of the time they had spent together only resulted in long stretches of unspoken words. _That’s because you didn’t want to know him._

Kolyat swallowed down the rise of regret that tried to fill his lungs. In the end that simple truth made him realize that there was still much he never knew about his father, but he had a feeling the things he didn’t know were exactly what had made Shepard and him work. The missing link that made them fall in love. The more Kolyat thought about it, the more something seemed to be missing between the two of them. A woman who he now secretly wanted for himself.

Kolyat took a deep breath and steeled his nerves as he ascended the stairs to her office. Narissa was sitting at her desk when he came through the door. Her dark grey eyes meeting his as a mischievous smile spread across her dark lavender painted mouth, waiting for him as he approached her.

“I didn’t actually think I would be seeing you again so soon.” She quipped as he came to her desk.

“Yeah well, I like to do the opposite of what people expect. It keeps them on their toes”

“So then I take it you’re back for more punishment? You didn’t learn your lesson the first time?”

“I guess not. Is she in? This time she’s expecting me.” Narissa looked down at the small tray of coffee cups and grinned knowingly.

“Well I have to give it to you, you’re a smart man. She might think twice about shooting you again…at least until after she finishes her coffee.” Kolyat grinned and grabbed one of the cups off the tray, placing it on her desk.

“This is for you. It’s a popular tea on Thessia. We got off on the wrong foot last time, maybe we can start over?” Narissa smiled at him in appreciation taking the cup as she stared at it thoughtfully.

“You know, I don’t even know your name.”

“It’s Kolyat Krios.”

“Well Kolyat…I accept your peace offering. Does that mean you want to go out for a drink sometime?” Kolyat sucked his teeth and frowned immediately in displeasure. _Are you kidding me?_

“I’m joking!” Narissa spoke up quickly, eyes widening in panic from his disposition.

“I took the hint the first time. Shepard said you’re more interested in your studies right now anyway.” _Shepard spoke to her about him?_

“I wonder what else she has said about me.” He mused quietly more to himself then to her, making her hum in interest once again.

“Are you just playing hard to get now? We can talk about it privately if that was really your intention all along.” She eyed him teasingly, her voice a little heady now and this time Kolyat snorted back a laugh. Knowing now that she was just trying to bait him.

“What is with you Asari and automatically thinking that everyone wants to sleep with you? Like you’re the galaxies gift to other races?”

“You mean we’re not?” Narissa looked back at him in mock horror.

“Hardly.” Kolyat deadpanned.

“Then that just means you don’t know a good thing when you see it. Everyone wants us. Have you ever been with an Asari?”

“This isn’t about me.” He met her eyes stoically refusing to give anything away. She smiled and crossed one leg over the other adjusting her position on her chair.

“What is it with you Drell and being so uptight? Do you even know how to have a good time?”

“I know how to have a good time, but my personal life is none of your business.”

“Ouch, you just got ugly real fast. Illusion of sexiness blown.” Narissa reached her hands out in front of her and made a small explosion gesture. “Tall, dark and handsome no longer exist for you. It’s gone forever. My condolences.”

“Well it’s a good thing I wasn’t trying to impress you.”

“Yeah it’s too bad for you, because you just missed out on a **_really_** good thing.” Kolyat snorted back another laugh as Narissa winked playfully and hit the button on her terminal opening the door for him. He grinned and nodded his thanks before entering Shepard’s office.

Kolyat stifled a groan as he spotted her immediately sitting at her desk. Her blood red hair was piled high on her head and still seemed to be slightly damp, held together with a large clip. She wore only the minimal amount of makeup today which Kolyat seemed to prefer more since it left her looking more youthful and pure. She wore a plain V-neck black dress with short sleeves and only the barest of jewelry; a black bracelet and black studded earrings. She looked like the girl next door you secretly wanted to fuck who had the father you were terrified of, so you never asked her out.

One leg crossed over the other, arms crossed over her chest, she sat casually grinning at her center monitor. She glanced up at him momentarily as he entered and gave him a little wave, her smile bright and welcoming. The smile of an angel.

“Is someone there now?” He heard the smooth double tremor of a voice over the speaker making his whole body stiffen in discomfort. Kolyat fought back his hesitation as he approached realizing immediately the rumbled vocals of another male Drell.

“Why are you jealous?” Shepard grinned, her vibrant green eyes flashing mischievously.

“Should I be?” The male coyly retorted.

“It’s another male Drell, maybe you should be.”

“You act as if Drell’s fall from the vents.” Kolyat heard the male snort in amusement.

“Actually in Dantius…”

“Very funny. You’re nothing but a tease Shepard. I’m calling your bluff.”

“You don’t believe me?” He watched her blink rapidly and feign guiltlessness pointing to herself innocently.

“No.” The voice deadpanned making Kolyat force himself not to smirk.

“Come on, you know I would never lie to you.” The male hummed in denial and Kolyat could hear the teasing till in his sub harmonic but was unsure if Shepard picked up on it. “Do you want to meet him? I’m sure you two would hit it off.”

“Hm? Is this one of those awkward situations where you have a gay friend and I have a gay friend and you just automatically assume they will fall in love? Just because Drells are few and far between outside Kahje, doesn’t mean we can all be friends or lovers.”

“Really? You’re going to act like that? You don’t have to be a dick about it. You could have just said ‘no, I’m too jealous because he’s probably better looking than me’, or something along the lines like that.”

“Did you just try to imitate our voices?”

“Didn’t work?”

“You sounded like a dying old man.” The other male said seriously making Shepard laugh loudly and look towards him.

“Did I really sound like that?”

“Or some kind of dying animal.” Kolyat answered approaching her slowly. She snorted in distaste and grinned softly.

“See ganging up on me already.”

“It’s part of our culture. Many Drell women are into that.” The male on the monitor quipped making Kolyat snicker. Shepard glanced at him and frowned.

“So I’ve heard, but we’re not about to have that conversation.” Shepard motioned for Kolyat to approach and as he rounded her desk to view the monitors he was greeted by a multicolored Drell who grinned at him widely as soon as he came into view.

“You could have just told me it was Kolyat and I would have left it at that.”

“Do I know you?” He asked in confusion, quickly trying to recollect the Drell from his memories.

“No. We’ve never actually met. My name is Feron. I worked with your father a few times.”

“My father? Are you part of the Compact?

“Not for a long time. I’m an information trader.”

“You were part of the Compact?” Shepard asked in surprise glancing back at Feron on the monitor who leaned forward touching a few things off screen before glancing back at them.

“Another lifetime. So, are we ready to do this?”

“I am if you are, skittles.” Shepard said enthusiastically cracking her knuckles and flexing her fingers.

“Skittles?” Feron asked in confusion as Kolyat glanced at Shepard in uncertainty.

“What the hell is skittles?”

“It’s a rainbow candy from Earth. It has a slogan, taste the rainbow and, oh God…I just realized what I said.” Feron and Kolyat both shared a look and snickered from Shepard’s discomfort as she adjusted herself in her seat and turned on the screens of the other two monitors.

“Never mind, forget I said that.”

“You know we can’t, but I can come up with a hundred inappropriate comebacks right now.”

“I can too.” Kolyat chimed in as he turned her attention to the cups he placed on her desk. Shepard smiled at him brightly and grabbed the cup taking a sip. She closed her eyes and sighed happily.

“You really did plan to bribe me, huh?”

“I wanted to make sure your trigger finger had at least one day off from strenuous activity.”

“How thoughtful.”

“She tried to shoot you already?” Feron raised both of his eye ridges in surprise making Shepard frown again and glare at the monitors.

“Why do you automatically assume that I shoot everyone I meet?”

“Well in my case you electroshocked me after I told you not to touch the controls.”

“You’re never going to let me live that down are you? I said I was sorry! You act as if I did it on purpose.”

“She electroshocked you?” Kolyat asked nervously.

“It wasn’t on purpose. I just like to mess with her about it now, although it really wasn’t funny at the time. Hurt like hell.”

Kolyat heard Shepard sigh beside him placing the cup down on the desk. He couldn’t even comprehend that kind of pain coursing through his body. If Shepard had accidentally touched controls then that meant he had been hooked up to some kind of extensive network intentionally. Was Feron a prisoner at one point? Did Shepard save him? Multiple questions started to form in his mind but he knew now was not the appropriate time to ask. He heard Shepard crack her knuckles once more as she adjusted herself on her chair and began typing quickly over the keyboard. Information started to appear on the screen and he watched Feron’s eyes shift to his right slightly.

“All right boys, play time is over. Let’s get down to business.” Kolyat blinked slowly as he watched her whole disposition change into the woman who was Commander Shepard.

“I’m linking to you now. I activated the extra scramblers.” Feron said, his own seriousness taking over his features.

“Feron is the one who will be obtaining the new ID’s for your friends.” Shepard said towards Kolyat hitting a few buttons on her omnitool before turning her attention to the monitor on her right.

“I’m ready for the names when you are, Kolyat. I have to fabricate new backgrounds and be prepared to make their current ones slowly disappear when ready. It’s going to take some time. The sooner I start the process, the better.”

Kolyat swallowed roughly suddenly nervous. Baily trusted him with this, he didn’t want to let him or his family down. This other Drell though he didn’t really know, but he did trust Shepard and if Shepard trusted him-.

“I don’t trust people easily Kolyat, and Feron is one of the few I do. He is my contact for these matters. I can assure you, he will not betray us.” She suddenly said as he felt her hand lightly brush against his arm as if reading his mind.

“You have my complete honor and promise that your friends will be safe. Trust me. I would never betray Shepard. I won’t betray you.” Feron spoke over the monitors staring at him gravely, the till in his throat indicating complete earnest honesty before it changed into a silent question of budding friendship. Kolyat nodded and returned his own till of acceptance which made Feron slightly grin and nod.

“Are you guys doing that subharmonic thing?”

“Now who’s the jealous one?” Feron quipped making Kolyat smile and Shepard coo softly.

“Trust me, I wouldn’t dream of coming in between your budding bromance. Let’s get started shall we.”

It took everything Kolyat had in order not to say anything as he heard the perverted till in Feron’s throat which he knew was only meant for him. Yeah, he could definitely see them becoming friends quick. Coughing into his hand to control his snicker, Kolyat started telling them the names and ages of Bailey’s family. As he spoke Shepard and Feron started typing simultaneously. He could see the moment both of them realized who the family was.

“No wonder you were so hush hush about this. Are you the only one he went to?” Shepard asked and he nodded in response.

“It took a lot for him to trust me with this. I promised him I wouldn’t let him down and that his family would be safe.”

“You did good coming to me with this. Feron has the resources to help them.”

“Don’t worry Kolyat. Nothing is going to happen…hmmm? Well that’s not good.” Feron commented. His eyes narrowed as he turned his attention to his left, his fingers flying over the keyboard in precise lighting quick strokes.

“This just got a little complicated. Shepard do you see this?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s happening?” Kolyat asked trying to swallow down the worry in his throat as he sensed the urgency in in Shepard and Feron’s typing. He leaned forward and rested his weight on one of his hands as he leaned in beside Shepard ignoring the sweet scents coming off her as he forced himself to focus and stare at her monitor. He let out a low growl of confusion as the human language swarmed over his screen and he was unable to read most of it. A tap on his arm brought his attention to the screen beside him as Shepard taped a key and switched the monitor over to the Drell language.

“That’s Feron’s monitor, so you can see what’s happening. A hit was put out on the family.”

Kolyat sucked in a breath as he read all the information flooding over the screen and Feron’s file hacking as information and security programs were being broken through without the least bit of resistance. Whatever kind of information trader Feron was, he was fucking good at what he did.

“Feron can you-“

“Already on it Shep.” Feron quickly said as more files were hacked through and he connected to a satellite which began emitting a search pulse.

“The request came from the Citadel. I’m tracing the path of contact…okay, got it. Whoever made the request is an amateur. I have already traced the path.”

“It’s most likely a local gang. I doubt they had the resources or the know how to hide the trace properly. Hopefully they just hired a mercenary.” Shepard spoke up leaning back in her chair as she watched Feron work.

“Are you able to stop the request?” Kolyat asked hopefully, praying that it wasn’t too late. If the hit was already placed then he didn’t have much time and would probably have to move Clarie and the kids somewhere safe as soon as possible.

“Feron-“

“I see it. A bounty hunter picked it up. I’m sending you the coordinates of the ship.” Kolyat stared intently at the screen as he watched the other male move quickly, suddenly feeling Shepard’s eyes on him as he released a long breath of relief when he saw where the ship was.

“Good. They haven’t reached the Citadel yet.” Kolyat said more to himself already knowing that Shepard and Feron were seeing the same thing.

“Yeah, but their closer then I would have liked.” Shepard said as a red pulse indicator appeared on the screen showing that the other Drell was trying to communicate with the ship.

“Come on you bastard answer the hail…Shepard if they don’t accept the communca- there we go!”

“Do you want me to talk-“

“No.” Feron and Kolyat both said at the same time. Shepard frowned and crossed her arms over her chest and huffed as she stared at the monitors.

“Sorry Shepard, but I got this.” Feron spoke up looking above him and hitting a few switches and buttons off screen above him.

“Do you think I’m going to threaten them?” She blinked innocently, Kolyat wasn’t at all convinced.

“Let’s try to end this without and explosion shall we?” He heard the other Drell say seriously glancing at the two of them on his monitor as he went back to typing. Kolyat could see the message indicator on his screen of everything Feron and the Hunter were saying to one another.

“You’re taking all the fun out of life Feron, I hope you know that.”

“I’ll make it up to you. Besides, this guy is not happy right now.”

“Tell him we’ll buy the contract off him. Hopefully this guy’s only loyal to his next paycheck.”

“Whoever this guy is, he’s not an assassin. I’m sure I can work something out.”

“Ask him how much he received for the hit. I’ll pay whatever he’s asking.” Kolyat said almost desperately, wondering how much the lives of Bailey’s family was worth.

“Kolyat.” Shepard’s gentle voice pulled his gaze from the monitor towards hers. Her hand went over his softly to give his fingers a slight squeeze to reassure him. Her eyes were confident and kind.

“We got this. Don’t worry.” She whispered softly, her soft pink glossed lips smiling gently. Kolyat nodded at her as he felt the truth of her words deep inside himself. He should not doubt her, coming to her was truly the best thing he could have done. She would save them, no matter what. Kolyat slowly pulled away from her and stood up straight crossing his arms over his chest as he waited patiently reading the conversation between Feron and the Bounty Hunter. Forty thousand credits, the cost of a woman and two small children.

“Shepard how much do you want me to throw at him?”

“Double it.” She answered without hesitation. _What the fuck? Eighty thousand credits?_ Kolyat couldn’t even fathom trying to obtain that many credits in such a short period of time. Feron countered immediately and then sucked his teeth.

“This greedy fuck. He wants more.”

“One hundred thousand.”

“He wants one twenty.”

“Just give it to him Feron, before I have someone blow up his ship, just because I don’t like the color.” Shepard said seriously making Feron grin as he went through with the trade and transferred the credits. _Did he seriously not even blink as he handed over a hundred and twenty thousand credits?_ His chest tightened when he handed over a few hundred to Claire. Kolyat rubbed the back of his neck as they all waited quietly for the Hunter to transfer the bounty data over and turn his ship around.

“Well that was boring. You sure we can’t go and blow up his ship anyway?”

“He was only doing his job Shep. You can’t blame him for that.”

“Yeah, but he was so greedy about it.”

“I think you’re just looking for an excuse to shoot something.”

“Maybe… I can’t wait to go after these bastards that put the hit out on Bailey’s family though.”

“I agree. I will help any other way I can. In the meantime, I’ll start working on the new identities. Kolyat, I would suggest moving the family somewhere safer for now. Once the ID’s are uploaded into their omnitools everything is going to happen quickly. They need to be prepared for that.”

“I understand. Thank you Feron. I owe you one.” Kolyat turned towards the monitor and bowed respectfully. He really was indebted to this male. Feron smiled and nodded back at him.

“Hey, let’s exchange contact information. Next time I’m in the Citadel I expect payback.”

“I don’t think I can afford that.” Kolyat said seriously as they exchanged their numbers and contact credentials.

“How about a drink and we’ll call it even?” Feron smirked and sent him a message on his omnitool with the name of a bar Kolyat was familiar with. He nodded and returned the other Drells smile before nodding his agreement.

“Sounds good to me.”

“Awwww, I love the start of bromance.” Shepard cooed playfully.

“Really? Because all I hear is jealousy.” Feron retorted smiling cheekily as they said their goodbyes and he disconnected leaving Shepard and him in sudden silence.

“I knew you two would hit it off.” She said happily grabbing her coffee cup to take a few heavy gulps and standing. The closeness of her made him pause before he took a step back so as not to crowd her, catching the subtle flower scent again as she moved.

“How long have you known Feron?” He asked taking his own forgotten tea as she motioned for him to go to the seating area in the center of her office.

“Feron was actually helping me long before I met him, but personally I’ve known him a little over two years now. He’s a really close friend. I trust him with my life…actually it’s because of him I’m even alive.”

“What do you mean?”

“Feron was the one who retrieved my body and gave it to Cerberus who was able to bring me back to life.”

“So the stories are true? You really were brought back from Kalahira’s shore?” Kolyat asked in awe as he took a seat on the furthest couch and stared at Shepard in amazement.

“Just don’t ask me if I remember any sand or beaches, because I don’t. It’s very fuzzy…and don’t look at me like that.” She frowned slightly as she passed by him putting a hand on her hip as she regarded his expression disdainfully. All he could suddenly focus on was that same fragrance from before. Something sweet and soft drifting off her.

“Sorry, you probably get sick of all the hero worship don’t you?”

“Yeah, but believe it or not I can still support my head.” She joked which made him grin and chuckle gently. She stared at him a moment as if she was thinking about something deeply and all he wanted to do was figure out exactly what was going through her head. _What kind of secrets she must possess._ They stayed in silence for a moment and he couldn’t stop his eyes from wandering over her body, glancing at the curves and the cut of her black dress that accentuated the femininity of her. Despite her being a hero, on multiple levels, she was still a woman. An incredibly beautiful, interesting, intricate-

“What is that smell?” He blurted unexpectedly making her quirk an eyebrow at him in piqued interest.

“Smell? Do you smell something weird?” She asked on the precipice of alarm as she glanced around.

“No. It’s soft, like…what’s that flower…the purple one from Earth now that I think about it.”

“Lavender?”

“Yes, lavender…and something else…it’s actually-”

“Oh! It must be my new body wash I bought yesterday. Lavender and honeysuckle. I forgot how sensitive a Drells sense of smell is. I’ll ease up on any perfumes and washes next time we-“

“No, you smell really nice.” _You smell really nice? What the fuck kind of lame shit was that?_ He swallowed roughly as he mentally groaned as he watched her hesitate from what he said. Just a subtle hint of halting movement as she smoothed down the back of her skirt and sat on the couch opposite him. _Great, now she thinks I’m weird._

“Thank you.” She said quietly her eyes running over him a moment taking him in. Her bright green eyes trailing him from head to toe before glancing away. _Does she realize how she looks at me? How fucking erotic her gaze is when she does that?_

“What are you thinking about?” She asked almost huskily licking her lips subconsciously. Her eyes assessing him as if she was reading exactly what was going through his head as he became more aware of her and exactly how alone they were. Was he guilty of looking at her the same way? Was his face giving away his thoughts?

_I’m thinking about how much I suddenly want to touch you. How much I want to taste that lavender on you. How much I want to run my tongue over your neck and feel how fast I can make your pulse run wild. I know your tongue will taste better than the first time._ He blinked at her slowly keeping his expression as stoic as possible.

“I would like to discuss the favor you asked of me yesterday.” _That’s right don’t give yourself away._

“Favor? Oh…the Unveiling.”

“We’re finally alone, out of ear shot or prying eyes. Now is the perfect opportunity to discuss it. You said you were in danger.”

“I’m always in danger.”

“Yes, I know, I’m Commander Shepard and I shoot everyone I meet. I’m sure that pisses a lot of people off, but we’re not talking about your first impression skills.” Kolyat sighed waving his hand to dismiss her attempt at trying to push the subject away.

“I have excellent first impression skills. I made a hell of a one on you, that’s for sure.” She smirked coyly.

“Were not talking about me right now and your trying to change the subject. I want to know what you need from me in order to help you.” He kept his tone serious his dark gaze locked on hers. He watched as her whole demeanor changed. Bemused and grinning, to serious and confident, something dark and dangerous flashing in her eyes as she regarded him.

“Feron found that a hit was put out on me and he believes they plan to make a public spectacle of it. I am scheduled to make a speech at this event, any assassination attempt will most likely occur during that open window of time. It would be the best opportunity for them to kill me. I’ll be on guard, but distracted.”

“He was able to trace the hit on Bailey’s family. Can’t he intercept the hit placed on you as well?”

“Feron’s good, but whoever placed this hit was a professional. He’s been trying everything, but despite the extensive connections at his disposal it has only led him to scrambled networks and elaborate dead ends.  An assassin is harder to trace then a hired mercenary or thug. Even harder to take down.”

“To kill the best, you have to hire the best.” Kolyat said quietly, making Shepard nod gravely. “Do you think someone from the Compact was hired?”

“God, I hope not. Even on one of his bad days, Thane gave me a run for my money. He could beat the shit out of me if I stepped wrong when we spared. The only thing that would make me hopeful if someone from the Compact was hired, is the fact that I have already crossed paths with the best. Everyone else would just seem like an amateur now.”

“Was he really that good?” Kolyat looked down at his lap as he thought back on his father. The quiet man who tried to connect with him. The stranger who would visit as he grew up, only to disappear completely after his mother was killed. Only to reappear with the woman before him now.

“Yeah…the worst part though…he knew it too. That cocky little shit pissed me off during our first few conversations.” Her comment made him pause. He had so many questions now, so many things he wanted to know pertaining to them, but he knew now wasn’t the time for tales of the past. Pushing away his curiosity and memories that threatened to surface he focused on the fact in front of him. Shepard was in danger and he wanted to help.

“I was scheduled to patrol this event. I can notify Bailey privately of what you just informed me of. He can set up extra perimeter security in case of snipers. Maybe scan the vents and set up scanner checkpoints for weapons. As for me being your personal bodyguard-”

“It’s okay Kolyat. It was a spur of the moment request. I shouldn’t have asked you.” She said shrugging her shoulders, taking another sip of her coffee. Kolyat narrowed his eyes and blinked at her in confusion. Why was she suddenly having second thoughts about asking him? Did she need his help or not?

“If you weren’t serious about needing my help then why did you bring it up in the first place?”

“Feron offered to go with me but I don’t want his identity to be compromised. He recommended that a Drell would be better choice as a bodyguard and…”

“And?”

“I don’t know if it was his training or the capabilities of your species but there were times that Thane would notice subtle movements or sounds, sometimes a shift in the lighting or slight scents. Something you just demonstrated before with my body wash. Things the rest of us couldn’t see or hear. It just popped into my head when I was having lunch with you that maybe-“

“I am not my father. I have had none of his training, so don’t think by asking me-”

“Let’s get one thing straight. I was never the one who said you were Thane. That seems to be a chip on **_your_** shoulder.” Kolyat growled in anger from her accusation.

“So then you changed your mind because you don’t think I can handle it?”

“I didn’t say that.” Her voice was dark and matter of fact.

“You don’t have to. I can see it on your face.”

”Look, I promised your father-“

“I don’t give a shit what you promised him.”

“He wanted me to keep an eye on you and make sure I kept you out of danger, if I could.”

“So that means he didn’t trust me enough to make my own decisions. He knew I decided to stay with C-Sec, did he honestly think I wouldn’t have to get my hands dirty?”

“Trust me, that’s what I told him, but he didn’t want to hear it and I didn’t want to argue with him at the time. I just couldn’t bring myself to.”

Kolyat understood what she was saying, one of the few times he had spent time with them he had walked into the hospital room when their voices were raised. He could see the strain on both of their faces although he had no idea what they were discussing. Shepard had said hello to him and smiled sadly before leaving them alone, and his father did what he did best, put on a stoic stare until he was ready to talk again.

“It’s not that he didn’t trust you Kolyat. He loved you…more than anything in existence. He was so desperate to find you, so desperate…for you to be happy. He believed in you so strongly. That you would be capable of such good. You were his reason to hold on for as long as he did.”

“You were too.” He said automatically believing both of their words wholeheartedly. She smiled sadly and looked away, taking a sip of her coffee. Something in his chest tightened as he stared at her, the distant look in her eyes as if once again she was thinking about the past. He didn’t want their time together to be in reminiscing. He didn’t want to see her sad.

“My father… he wanted for me not to become the people he hunted. He wanted my descent into darkness to cease, he wanted to keep me out of crime…and I have left that life behind me. You don’t owe him anything else, but giving me an opportunity to protect you is something I know he would have approved on. You say he believed in me…I ask that you do as well.”

She turned her gaze on him assessing his words, mulling over everything he just said in her mind. Her face and façade changed again as she looked him up from head to toe as if she was sizing him up, trying to think what he could be capable of. Everything in him hoped she liked whatever she was looking for.

“All right Kolyat, I have never once been considered unfair, so let’s hear it. Convince me why I should trust you enough to put my life in your hands. Be my eyes and ears? Would you truly be able to kill someone who tried to kill me? Listen to my commands without question? Take orders without argument?”

Kolyat thought a moment about what he wanted to say. She was giving him an opportunity, a chance to show him that she believed in him, but she wanted to see how much he believed in himself. Could he be what she needed? Yes…he would prove it to her. He would prove it to himself.

“Shepard, I am not the same person I was when you first met me. I will not hesitate to do what must be done. I have trained and studied. I know what it’s like to have someone rush at you with a gun and stay calm. I have experienced being stuck in crossfire. Someone trying to kill me or disarm me. A gun pointed in my face. I received training in multiple weapons and hand to hand combat. I will follow your commands…all you have to do is give me a signal. I will not hesitate. I will be your weapon…Let me guard you Shepard. I joined C-Sec to protect others. Let me do my job. No one will touch you, I swear to it on my life.”

He stared at her in determination knowing it was too late now to back down. He wanted to show her that he could do it. That she could turn to him if she needed someone. This wasn’t about him owing her anymore, this was about what he would be willing to do for her. He wanted to protect her, he wanted to be there for her if she needed someone. _Shit, I really do want to be what my father was to her._ Slowly a smile spread across her lips and he let out a breath of relief, he knew he had just convinced her.

“You’ve changed. You’re more confident now…more determined to prove the world wrong.”

“Everyone needs to grow up sometime.” A soft smile finally spread across his mouth in which she returned with her own wide grin as she crossed one leg over the other and adjusted herself more comfortably on the couch.

“Well than just one question still remains…Do you own a suit? It’s a formal event.”

“I…no…but I can get one.”

“Do you need to buy one?”

“Are you about to insult me again and offer me money?”

“No.” Her mouth quirked as she tried to fight back her smile knowing he had caught her in her lie. Kolyat sighed and rubbed the ridges over the top of his head not wishing to start a fight with her. He knew she was about to do just that.

“I can speak to my friend Taran. He will let me borrow one of his.”

“Is it going to fit? Taran is skinnier than you. I’m not sure if the muscles in your chest and shoulders are going to accommodate the suits for his stature. The pants might be really tight.”

“You seem to be really interested and familiar with my body all of a sudden. Is there something you should be telling me Shepard?” Kolyat grinned at her coyly knowing he was giving her a very male look of appreciation.

“Don’t get any funny ideas. You need to be armed and your typical tight leathers, although very sexy on Drells, might not give enough hidden coverage for the type of heat and ammo you might have to pack, just in case.”

“You think my leathers are sexy?” He mused as his mind suddenly wandered. _I bet they’d look better on your bedroom floor._

“Drells should be ashamed by the way they dress. Half of you are like walking wet dreams. I’m surprised there aren’t more women falling at your feet as you move through the Citadel.” Kolyat laughed genuinely her eyes brightening considerably as she watched him. _This woman._

“They must be swooning after I pass them I assure you, because I don’t notice it. Actually, were one of the races most ignored. None of us hold any prominent positions. Honestly, unless the Hanar appoint us in a position of importance, other races just consider us an exotic lay, or they use us for the effects of our venom.”

“I…never thought about that.”

“I know, that’s why I hear so many important figures in other races are comfortable with you. You’re friends come in all kinds I hear.”

“They do. I try to be as open as possible to everyone around me.” She smiled gently her gaze moving far away as if she was thinking back on a memory. He found it fascinating that humans can just think about something without vocalizing it. He wondered if they could be as vivid as a Drells even though they couldn’t recall smell, touch or taste. Was it like watching a movie on a screen?

“You know positions of power for Drells are about to change right?”

“What do you mean?”

“When you pass your Detective exam. I’m sure you don’t have plans of stopping there, do you?”

“No.” He admitted in a whisper, surprise filling his lungs at the sincerity of her words. He didn’t like to talk about this to anyone because he didn’t want even the tiniest voice of ridicule to deter him from his choice. Did she truly feel this way?

“When? Not if?” He swallowed nervously watching her smile turn confident.

“When. You know you’re going to probably start at fifth or sixth class, but you’re eventually going to aim for first, am I right?”

Kolyat shifted uncomfortably in his chair and looked down at his lap. He had never discussed these types of things with anyone before. Taran and Mira sometimes, but the real personal he was scared to say out loud. He didn’t think he could trust anyone enough who might understand him. Who might truly believe in him and not view the restraints of his race or low standing in society. There was something about this woman’s aura that was calming. Just by looking in her eyes there was something that made you believe that anything she said could happen. You could believe in her words, and it just made it real.

“I…yes. That’s…my dream. I want to save as many lives as I can. I want to be detective first class.”

“You will Kolyat. One day, I know you will.”

He met her eyes slowly, the hammering of his heartbeat in his chest drowning out all other sounds in the room. Did she have any idea what those simple words meant to him, the emotion that threatened to overwhelm him? His father had once told him that he had the capability to create good because he was the only good thing that he had ever brought into the world. He wasn’t trying to prove anything to anyone but he took those words to heart. Goodness and evil were misbalanced in the galaxy at least on the Citadel he wanted to be on the side to try and tip the scale. He no longer wanted to live in the life of destroying families, he wanted to protect them.

“Thank you. It actually means a lot to me that you said that.”

“Do you have plans tomorrow?” She suddenly blurted out making him blink at her several times until he was able to catch his bearings.

“I know you just got off shift and need some rest because of another shift tonight but what are your plans for tomorrow? Are you free?” Kolyat checked his schedule on his omnitool and she pulled up hers as well. He was actually supposed to go to the club with a few co-workers tomorrow night but if she wanted to see him…

“I’m free. I have the day off.”

“Will I be interrupting your studies?”

“Don’t worry about that. All I’ve been doing is studying and working. I could use a break.”

“Missing the bar scene are we?” She smiled coyly shifting herself in her seat, Kolyat’s eyes catching on the slight rise of her skirt on her thighs.

“There’s always time for the bar scene. Why? Are you inviting me out for a drink?” _How fucking sexy would you look staring at me while you drank a Weeping Heart._

“I actually want to take you somewhere and show you something. If you agree, it could help Bailey’s family, but it’s something I think you would like to see.”

“So, are you asking me out on a date?”

“What is it with you and the date thing? Stop teasing me. Save your charm for the floozy’s at the bars. They’re more susceptible to your bad boy charm anyway.”

Kolyat hummed and grinned at her and she stared at him in defiance waiting for him to say something back, but just as he was about to the buzzer on her intercom went off and Narissa’s voice sounded on the speaker.

“Ms. Shepard your first appointment is here.” Shepard sighed and looked away as Narissa’s voice beeped away. Was she as disappointed from the interruption as he was?

“What time would you like to meet tomorrow?” He asked softly being rewarded with her vibrant green eyes looking at him again in glee.

“Do you want to meet at the same café we had lunch in the other day? Maybe around 1100? You can make me eat something you don’t like.” Kolyat snickered softly from her joke.

“Sounds good to me.” He said as they both got up and she saw him to the exit. He grinned at her just as they made it to the door before smoothly dropping his lips to her ear in passing and whispered just loud enough for her to hear clearly.

“I know it doesn’t take much, but I hope you look as sexy as you did the other day at the station for me.” He didn’t look at her again as the doors opened and he walked out, because he didn’t have to. He could smell the shift in her scent, heard her breath catch in her throat, felt the sudden heaviness in the air between them. He knew that slowly they were starting to have an effect on one another. The subtle scent of her arousal that first night was now a fingerprint etched into his mind. He wondered if it was possible, that she would be able to remember his.


	7. Chapter 7

His hands moved gently down her body, his heated flesh making her back arch as he followed the trail of fingers with lips and tongue. The rough coursed texture igniting every nerve ending he touched. Her moans were loud as he explored her, his lips reaching her core. His tongue dipping within her moistened heat making her cry out in bliss as he pushed past her outer folds. Hot hands were at her thighs, the large elegant fingers sinking into her flesh perfectly. Shepard willingly spread her legs wider, rolling her hips into his strokes until she was begging him for completion.

“So impatient, Siha.” He rumbled his amusement, his guttural voice husky in arousal. She loved that voice, she didn’t care if he read those boring philosophy books of his all day to her while they were together. To her it sounded like a love sonnet. Just listening to him breath made her wet in desire.

He pulled her up to sit upon his lap, his hardened length brushing against her center as he buried his face into her neck to smell her deeply. His perfect white teeth sank into her, marking her as his, as the dozen small barbs hidden within quickly shot out and pricked her, releasing his venom. The warm sensation slowly running into her, claiming her completely. Her hands went around to the back of his crown, her fingers caressing the ridges as she sighed in happiness. She heard the till of arousal in his throat, knowing the areas that drove him to the point of losing control. She knew every stripe and speckle, every curve and dip of his body. Every spot to bring him pleasure.

“Please Thane, I need you.” She begged him, wanting to feel him inside her. She felt his grip on her tighten, the feeling suddenly sending unfamiliar alarm to run through her as his fingers dug into her skin, The strength of him sending the first sharp pain through her side as she met his gaze questioningly. She knew he could be rough and she loved it, but he had never actually hurt her and another flex of his fingers suddenly had her cringing in discomfort. Something had changed, he was trying to hurt her on purpose.

“Do we have to use the safe word?” She joked, her confusion heightening as he stared at her stoically before narrowing his eyes in anger.

“Would you have chosen differently?”

“What?” She asked in uncertainty as the till in his voice growled at her.

Thane’s gaze shifted behind her and she turned her head in alarm as another pair of hands grasped her waist making her whole body stiffen in surprise. She tried to struggle but for some reason she suddenly couldn’t move, not even her biotics were coming to her defense.

Thane bit her again in dominant possession, forcing her not to move, pumping more venom into her as the second pair of hands moved up her hips to snake around the front of her grabbing her breasts. She felt their fingers pinch her teasingly, making her nipples harden in anticipation and pleasure. A hot mouth on her back, the feel of it making her more responsive as it kissed and licked up her spine. Her body betrayed her and she shuddered in desire, a moan escaping her throat as tears filled her eyes _. No, this isn’t right. This can’t be real._

“Would you have chosen differently?” She heard another voice say further away but she couldn’t pin point who or where it was. The mouth on her back came to her shoulder, the lips taking her ear lobe into their mouth to biting down gently upon it. She tried to scream but all that came out was a whimper as the hands pinched her harder, squeezing her crudely. The rough feeling of their hands sending another forbidden wave of need to course through her body. _It feels like smooth scale._

“I knew you would look this sexy for me.” The voice whispered in her ear making her gasp in shock. _Kolyat. It was Kolyat._

With a sharp sting Kolyat’s teeth were at her neck marking her, his venom starting to claim her, as Thane suddenly plunged into her hard and fast. His thrusts unrelenting as her body accepted him willingly. She heard the voice again in the distance, vaguely aware that it was getting closer. She felt one of Kolyat’s hands move to the front of her, his fused fingers rubbing that tiny bundle of nerves making her arch her back in pleasure, feeling herself slowly start to relax as Thane’s grip around her eased. His thrusts and Kolyat’s fingers bringing her right to the edge making her moan wantonly. _No…wait._

“Did you fuck him for the first time right before you took on that Collector Base? Nothing like the thought of death to spread your legs for the next man.” She turned her head and looked towards the opening that lead to her closet where Kaidan was suddenly sitting in one of the chairs in her room. _Why is he here? How is he here?_

“Would you have chosen differently?” He spat leaning forward, resting his hands upon his knees, his face contorted in disgust. She blinked and suddenly Ashley and Miranda were standing behind him. She gasped in alarm, fear starting to overtake her.

“Would you have chosen differently?” She heard again, turning her head to the opposite side and suddenly she was falling to the floor as the bed and the two that held her disappeared. Zaeed was now staring down at her with hatred in his eyes. He threw her pistol down before her and as she went to grab it, she could smell the burning metals, the ash and fire of rancid flesh. Everything shifted again and then she was at the facility, and Zaeed was trapped below the rubble once again. She got to her feet, her naked flesh feeling the heat and dirt coat her skin. The burning warmth of the fires as they licked against her body.

“Do it!” He spat, blood pooling from him mouth. “Kill me!”

She raised the gun and took aim but paused when horns blared in the distance and she looked at the sky. Reapers blanketed the horizon and an army of husks were flooding towards her in the hundreds, approaching fast. She turned quickly and started to shoot one after the other, using her biotics and omni blade, but no matter how many she took down, three more replaced them. Soon they had swarmed her and all she felt was their fingers beginning to rip into her flesh.

Shepard screamed at the top of her lungs as she flailed in terror. She felt something holding her and it fueled her hysteria as she fought against the constricting entity, twisting her body until she fell upon the floor. Her hands grabbing the gun frantically on her nightstand aiming it out in front of her. Her breaths were wild and uncontrolled as she blinked rapidly, the fog of sleep started to disperse as she realized she was alone and whatever she thought was holding her was actually the sheet tangled in a heap around her legs.

Slowly she steadied her breaths, tears welling in her eyes as she clicked the safety back on her gun and tossed it down beside her, burying her face in her hands. _This is getting ridiculous. I’m losing my fucking mind._ Her lungs filling with anguish and regret as she brought her knees to her chest and rocked herself gently. Ashley was gone, dead because of her. Miranda was gone, dead because of her. Zaeed, she had killed in cold blood when he had turned on her, and Thane… _Oh God._ Nothing in the entire galaxy could have saved the man she had loved.

_What a hot mess,_ she mused as the tears started to slow and eventually she was able to force herself to her feet. Making her way towards the living room she glanced outside the semi closed curtains noticing that artificial darkness still blanketing the horizon. _When was the last time I actually got a full night’s sleep?_

Her eyes caught on the metal of Thane’s Hikari, her gaze looking over the leather jacket and sniper rifle within the display case. Soon her hands were on the glass as fresh tears welled within her eyes. God, how she missed him…and then suddenly Kolyat’s face flashed in her mind. _‘I know it doesn’t take much, but I hope you look as sexy as you did the other day at the station for me.’_  Shepard felt a shiver run over her skin as her mind wandered to the feeling of his hands and lips still fresh in her mind from her dream. No _..._ Why did she keep thinking about him _? Because you want him._

Putting her back against the case she sank to the floor, wrapping her arms around her legs as her mind wandered to the Drell that suddenly appeared in her life out of nowhere. She knew it was wrong to think about him in any other way than her past lover’s son. It didn’t matter if she was only a few years older than him. In another way it was more realistic for them to be lovers than her and Thane. _Would you have chosen differently?_

Shepard gasped as Thane’s voice echoed in her mind and regret flooded within her throat. She shouldn’t have allow Kolyat to get mixed up with her and now she was so confused by her feelings. Why did she agree to allow him to be her bodyguard? _He’s not the same person he once was, he can handle this, you know that or you would have never agreed._

As Shepard rested her forehead on her knees, she forced herself to understand that no matter what she was thinking about Kolyat, she had to know that there was no way he was serious about her. She had spent enough time with Drells to recognize that he was attracted to her, but she just couldn’t give in. _But you see the way he looks at you, and you want him too…_ No…Thane would never have allowed it…and his approval meant more to her than budding desires for a man… _his son…_ that she secretly now harbored. _It’s just lust, nothing more._ She could ignore her body…she had to. _Tomorrow is going to be hell._

* * *

 

_Oh God…he’s wearing the outfit,_ she almost despaired as Kolyat smiled gently sitting down across from her. He was right on time, grabbing the attention of the waiter almost immediately.

“Do you want coffee?” He asked politely as he ordered a Soryu tea waiting for her to reply. She swallowed roughly unable to answer only nodding her head in acceptance ignoring the peculiar look he gave her as he told the waiter to give them a few minutes. _Holy hell, he looks amazing._ The black jacket looked exactly how she imagined it would. The dark leathers and vibrant teal of the vest a perfect match against his scales and stripes. The pants fit him perfectly and as she stared at him before he sat, she noticed how lean and sleek the outfit made him look, gaining the attentions of multiple females as he walked by them. _Fuck, they really are walking wet dreams._

“Are you okay?” Kolyat voiced in concern forcing her to focus. She blinked and smiled gently trying to play off her wandering mind and opted for playful banter hoping he wouldn’t catch on to her terrible thought process. _Please tell me I didn’t drool._

“You clean up nicely Krios and for the record I think you just missed the swooning as you walked past a bunch of tables.”

She watched Kolyat’s frills slightly redden as he ran a hand down the front of his vest in a nervous gesture before a grin spread across his face. His mind probably running a million miles a minute with things he wanted to say.

“So you’re saying you like how I look?” His voice was smooth but his eyes stared at her with scorching intensity, as if no matter what she said he would automatically see the truth hidden in her mind. _Fucking hot as hell._

“I didn’t say that.” She snapped. Doing her best to keep her face and tone as neutral as possible, suddenly saved by the arrival of their drinks.

“But the outfit looks good?” He asked curiously, almost self-consciously.

“Don’t play coy with me, you know it does. I have excellent taste.” She answered halfheartedly picking up the menu to glance over it hearing him laugh deeply, a guttural double tremor of sound that made her insides tighten automatically. _If there is a God, the café will open up and just swallow me now. Please Lord, let a gun fight suddenly erupt as a distraction._

They were silent for a little while as they looked over the menu and sipped at their drinks until the waiter came back, her gaze catching on slight movement behind him, as a tiny almost unnoticeably flash went off. After they both ordered she glanced again towards what had grabbed her attention. A group of three women, the same ones who gawked at Kolyat as he passed a few tables down, stared at the two of them and whispered amongst themselves, another tiny flash going off. _Crap, I knew someone took a picture._ Shepard looked away and took a deep drink of her coffee.

“Your frowning, what’s happening?” Kolyat asked immediately his face serious as he watched her gauging her change of demeanor.

“Nothing I shouldn’t already be used to, but I think maybe we shouldn’t have met in such a busy location.”

“Do you want me to confiscate their omnitool’s? I can get the photos and delete them if you want.” His answer surprised her, did he already know what was happening? She never even noticed him turn around or glance at anything but her.

“You knew they were taking pictures?”

“The three woman in the back right? I noticed them as soon as I came in. I can also vaguely hear their conversation. Their trying to figure out if you’re Commander Shepard and if the extremely handsome Drell with you is you’re date.”

“Did they really say extremely handsome or did you just throw that in there for good measure?” She grinned at him cheekily, the calmness that radiated off of him, allowing her own feelings of ease to sink within herself.

“That was the polite breakdown. There is also a Turian in the corner who was sweeping and stopped a moment to take a picture when he noticed me sit down with you too.” Shepard sighed taking another sip of her coffee thinking about all the tabloids that were probably going to blow their whole lunch out of proportion. She could just imagine the stories that would circulate after they showed up together at the Unveiling. This is exactly why she didn’t want Feron to go. There was no way he would have been able to stay out of the spotlight, but now the same problem would go for Kolyat.

“Kolyat…is this going to cause problems for you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Once the tabloids start seeing you with me, the rumors are going to fly. Don’t you think it’s going to diminish your chances of getting laid?”

He narrowed his eyes and looked away from her deep in thought. Maybe she should just ask him to go? She really wanted to show him something today, something that she thought it was time that he should see, but maybe it would be better for them both…

“I really don’t care what anyone thinks about me that has nothing to do with my life. But it is very heartwarming that you’re worried about the chances of my dick getting stroked. I assure you that it will not diminish my ventures when, and if, I am in the mood.”

“Such confidence. Okay, now you know I have to ask after a comment like that. How many women have you slept with?” _Did you really just ask that?_ Oh God, did she really want to know?

“We’re about to have this conversation huh?” he answered casually but eyed her skeptically taking a long sip of his tea as a distraction.

“Why not. Enlighten me. Tell me how much of a stud you think you are. Give me a number.” Kolyat scoffed from her taunting casual shrug as he took a moment before answering her.

“Probably a few more than you, I imagine.” _Oh, so he’s going to play the gentleman game. I can bait him just as easily._

“Hmmm, I wonder. I am Commander Shepard, you know. You could probably imagine the offers I get.” Shepard flashed her teeth in mirth and laughed seeing his face darken knowing she had just caught him in her taunts.

“You’ve been with a woman?”

“Perhaps one or two.”

“Yeah? How was that?” He smirked knowing he was probably already coming up with a thousand elaborate pictures in his brain featuring her.

“A lady never kisses and tells.” She shrug nonchalantly grinning back. “Haven’t you ever been with a man?”

“No.”

“Really?” She blinked honestly surprised from his straight forward response. “But it’s common for your species. Haven’t you ever been curious?”

He shifted in his seat as he looked away. The inner flicker of his eyelids allowed her to know that he was uncomfortable with the question. Her smile faltered on her lips as she noticed the solemn look in his eyes. Why did she suddenly have a feeling that he didn’t really speak about his personal life too often to anyone.

“Perhaps.” He finally admitted meeting her eyes again before continuing.

“Drell males are more likely to take a male lover it is true, but I never found myself in that situation. I…also didn’t have many friends, or go to social gatherings, and the few that I did have, I ended up losing before I left Kahje. It…took me a long time before I was able to start making friends here. I didn’t plan on staying at first so I didn’t bother looking for anyone.”

She remembered that from the first night they had run into each other at the C-Sec Ball. He had admitted that he had planned on fleeing the Citadel a soon as his sentence was up but then something had changed. Something had made him start to enjoy what he did, enough to make him alter his plans and stay with C-Sec.

“Do you regret it? Leaving Kahje?”

“No…I wouldn’t be having lunch with the Legendary Commander Shepard, now would I?” The sincerity in his eyes made her swallow roughly.

“I got the job done and I survived. I’m really not that great outside the stories and wild tales that are told about me.”

“I assure you there is more to your allure than that.” She met his eyes, the endless darkness of them making her lose herself for a moment unable to break free. Something dark and smoldering flashed across his face for a brief second before quickly disappearing behind a stoic gaze. She fought a mental moan recognizing the heat in the way he just looked at her before he glanced away with the arrival of their food.

After they started eating she suddenly thought about his dodging attempts at not answering her previous question. She didn’t like the look on his face right now and decided to joke with him again and lighten the mood. Another flash made her sigh and close her eyes. _These fucking people and their pictures._

“Are you sure you don’t want me to confiscate their omnitools? I can shove my badge in their face and throw them in the Presidium Lake.” His comment made her laugh softly.

“Thanks but no. Just please assure me that I don’t have any food on my face or that anything is stuck in my teeth.”

“No your good. You look beautiful today.”

“So…” She grinned from his comment trying to ignore the hitch in her heartbeat from his simple words.

“Let me think a moment. You’ve been on the citadel for almost two and a half years, so that’s about 800 days or so. Let’s say on a good week you would bed at least two or three women.”

“Gods are you still on that?” He grumbled looking away heatedly taking a sip of his tea.

“So maybe about two hundred and fifty women?” She taunted a little loudly. Kolyat spit his tea back into his cup in alarm looking around nervously before meeting her teasing eyes and tone.

“You cannot possibly believe that I have slept with that many.”

“I don’t know Kolyat…You probably just raise an eyeridge and the panties drop.” He shook his head and snorted in distaste.

“You think too highly of my skills. It takes a little more than that I assure you.”

“Have to wine and dine them first? Have them…stroke your ego a little.” She raised an eyebrow challengingly unsure why she was speaking to him this way. She just wasn’t able to control her mouth around him. Maybe there was something about the Krios men that made her want to push them.

“Or other things…Since you’re so eager to know about my personal life, why don’t you answer one for me? How many men have you slept with?”

“Are we including one night stands?”

“Of course.”

She sat back in her chair thoughtfully trying to remember all of her sexcapades, all the wild nights on shore leave where she just wanted to get laid. One night stands and midnight hidden randevue’s at military camp. She thought about her boyfriend whom she started to fall in love with, who died on their first mission. She thought about Kaiden and then her few wild nights after he turned his back on her. She was so drunk she couldn’t even remember their names. Her last major lover had been Thane and nothing since then.

“You are taking way too long to answer that question. Do I even **_want_** to know the answer?”

“Seriously…I don’t think I remember all of them.” She laughed loudly then and snorted trying to lower her voice covering her mouth.

“Why am I laughing? That’s not even funny! That’s a serious concern!” She snorted again and laughed harder making Kolyat chuckle with her.

“At least you have perfect recall…actually I don’t think I would want to remember half of them, some of them were pretty bad. I remember that much at least.”

“Perfect recall is not always a gift.”

“Thane said the same thing once.” Her laughs slowly subsided as she thought about some of her times with him, and she watched as Kolyat’s own snickers quieted as he observed her.

“I…” Kolyat started but then looked away hesitantly. She smiled softly already knowing where Kolyat’s thoughts were. She was waiting for the moment he would start asking about their relationship. She knew from Thane that most of their time together had been spent in silence. Both of them trying, but never really opening up to one another. It was the sad and awful truth with things that sometimes you didn’t really start to know someone, until they had passed from this plane.

“It’s okay Kolyat. Ask me whatever you want.” She urged serenely waiting patiently for him to find his voice.

“Just one question.”

“Only one?”

“For now.” He blinked slowly, his eyes narrowing in curiosity. She nodded to let him know she was ready for his inquiry.

“What drew you to him?”

Shepard grinned widely and crossed her arms over her chest as she thought about what she wanted to say. She thought about some of her times with Thane. Conversations and moments shared. The first time she saw him. The first time she glimpsed into his soul. How the many aspects of him unfurled for her to discover and now treasure as beautiful memories forever frozen in her mind. The good and the bad. She looked at Kolyat but her eyes were not focused on him as she gazed unseeingly to moments in the past.

“He…made me feel…alive…but it wasn’t just that. He was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen.”

“So he was attractive to you? You liked him for his looks?”

“Nothing so superficial I assure you. He was…like nothing I could compare it to. He was beautiful in the way he moved…the way he killed…the way he viewed existence. The first time I saw him…he had killed three mercenaries and his target, all in the span of a heartbeat. I never thought anyone could move so fast and gracefully. When I finally got a chance to speak with him privately…all I started wondering was, when I could see him again. When I could learn more about him.”

“You speak about what he did and who he was so comfortably.”

“You mean his upbringing because of the compact?” Kolyat nodded solemnly. Shepard blinked slowly as she studied him, wondering exactly what kinds of thoughts were going through his mind. Thane told her that he never spoke to Kolyat about his life before he joined the Normandy. Only briefly speaking about Irikah sometimes, not wishing to dwell on the past. _This is why I invited him today. I wanted to show him more of Thane._

“Kolyat…” She said softly bringing his attention back towards her. The blue in his eyes flashing for a moment catching her breath. _Does he know how beautiful he is too?_

“There is something I would like to show you. Something you need to see. Are you finished eating?” He nodded and she flagged the waiter over and waved her omnitool over the digital bill just as Kolyat’s omnitool pinged with a message.

“I would have paid for lunch.” Kolyat said as he read over the message and closed out the interface meeting her gaze.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I was the one who invited you out. Are you ready to go?”

“Taran just sent me a message. He said my jacket is ready to be picked up. Would you mind making a detour first?”

“Not at all. You wanted to ask to borrow a suit anyway for the Unveiling, right? Besides, I don’t care if he’s your best friend, I’m a little pissed that he played me a little.” Kolyat laughed deeply and nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, it’s a bad habit of his, but at least you got me something I liked.”

Shepard snickered at Kolyat as they both rose and began making their way out of the café. It wasn’t until they approached the last few tables that an older woman, perhaps in her sixties with blondish white hair and a soft delicate face, suddenly stared up at her in awe and gasped in surprise. Lowering her voice she waved politely to gain her attention and Shepard slowed courteously and smiled at her patiently waiting for her to speak.

“Excuse me, by any chance are you Commander Shepard?”

“Are you about to ask for my autograph?” She grinned trying her best to keep the conversation just between the two of them, although she knew it never really was when she was in public. She already noticed a few more individuals starting to glance in her direction. She felt Kolyat's hand gently brush her side bringing her attention towards him curiously, but his eyes were not focused on her, but glancing around to assess the people in their vicinity.

“I heard someone just call a journalist.” Kolyat murmured his eyes still scanning the crowd.

“Can I have a picture with the two of us for my grandson? He looks up to you so much. He’s joining the Alliance next year, he believes in you so passionately.”

Shepard smiled gently and nodded taking a seat next to the woman who brought up her omnitool program to snap the shot. She told her to take one more for good measure before putting her signature and her grandsons name on the program wishing him luck in the Alliance. The woman was overjoyed as tears creased the corners of her eyes as she thanked her profusely.

“Thank you so much. I apologize for interrupting your date.”

“No apology, always time to support those who are willing to dedicate their lives to the cause, and he’s my bodyguard not my boyfriend.”

“Oh? Is he single? I have a granddaughter-“

“Shepard, we have to go.” Kolyat snapped forcing her attention to him as he tilted his head to the side towards a man who came into the café. _Shit, maybe they should have met somewhere more privately._ She waved goodbye to the woman and left with Kolyat following closely behind her as they moved quickly through the streets until they settled into a hidden alcove for a few moments in silence.

“Does that happen to you often?” He asked glancing out from behind the wall of the building to scan the area. She leaned against the wall letting him handle things patiently. At least she got a general idea that he could definitely do his job.

“A little more than I would like…wait until we go to the Unveiling. They’re like vultures.”

“What’s that?”

“A vulture? It’s a bird from earth. They can sense weakness and circle their prey, waiting for the perfect moment to feed. Another analogy would be like sharks smelling blood in the water.” Kolyat glanced at her and grinned.

“I heard someone in my training class refer to one of the instructors like that…I understand the analogy better now.”

“Always happy to help.” She grinned waiting until he gave her the all clear and they were able to make their way to Drala’fa without incident.

She glanced in the window as they approached, noticing the Viper still on display already feeling her mouth begin to salivate at that giant sleek and sexy piece of machinery that was just begging to be bought. She heard the smooth chimes go off as they entered noticing the Drell they came to see almost immediately near the far left of the store. His friendly silver eyes moving towards the doorway to greet whoever arrived. A huge grin spreading across his lips when he saw Kolyat.

“I like your new outfit.” Taran said mischievously towards him from behind an empty glass display case. A large metal box on the ground beside him most likely with the contents that were about to be stocked.

“Yeah, I’m sure you do.” Kolyat said frowning as they approached the grey scaled Drell. His vibrant eyes widening in surprise when he saw her, but then smiled happily as his gaze switched from her to Kolyat and then back to her.

“Ms. Shepard such a nice surprise, I didn’t know you knew Kolyat.” His grin widening completely across his face. She could tell he already knew that she regarded his comment as complete bullshit.

“Nice try. You know you could have just told me you knew who I was buying the clothes for.” Shepard retorted crossing her arms in front of her chest in disapproval but making sure to keep her voice light and friendly.

“And ruin the look on his face when he realized? Tell me, was he angry? Surprised? Grateful at least? He can be hard to handle at times but I assure you he has potential.” Taran chided walking around the case to meet them, eyeing Kolyat from head to foot admiring the outfit almost critically as Kolyat let out a disapproving hum.

“I knew they would fit, and the vest certainly brings out the color of his eyes. Wouldn’t you say so Ms. Shepard?” Taran smirked making her blink for a moment caught off guard. What the hell was he insinuating?

“Enough taunting. We came because I got your message.” Kolyat growled at his friend.

“Ah, yes…and the two of you just happened to be together? Interesting.”

“It’s not like that. We were having lunch to discuss an upcoming event.”

“Kolyat will be accompanying me to the Unveiling next week.” Shepard helped reply.

“A date?” Taran’s eyes sparkled happily. _What the hell is with this guy? Is he trying to hook us up?_

“My bodyguard.” Shepard said seriously now, her tone and stance making the other Drell sober immediately glancing at Kolyat solemnly seeing how neither of them were giving in to his antics.

“I need to borrow a suit.” Kolyat said matching her tone making Taran stare at them both thoughtfully now before answering seriously.

“Kolyat…I don’t think one of my suits will fit you. Besides the coloring will not match your scale tone and I think you will need something a little bigger for your holster. All of mine are lean cut. If you’re going to be Ms. Shepard’s bodyguard you need to look the part. It’s a formal event am I right? You’ll be representing the Human Alliance I hear. You will need Kolyat to look his best.”

“Then I’ll buy one for him. Do you have any here? Or can you recommend a place?”

“You don’t have to buy me a suit Shepard.” Kolyat protested immediately. _Of course he is._ She was actually getting a little tired of the money argument.

“Of course I do and I’m not going to argue about this, consider me your employer and I’m buying you your uniform. You’re going to be putting your life on the line for me. The least I can do is make you look good when you do it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I always look good.”

“Love that modesty.” She grinned as they both shared a look and then glanced away from one another. A soft smile came across Taran’s lips again as he watched them before turning towards his counter.

“Suits are not my specialty, but I have a contact for someone who outfitted my wedding. His name is Jovan and he’s really good. I’ll send him a message to see if he is available right now.” Taran reached beneath his counter and pulled out a bag, pushing it towards Kolyat upon the counter. As Kolyat started taking his jacket out Taran brought up his omnitool and started the message.

“Did I totally ruin it?” Shepard smirked making Kolyat frown as he unfolded the blue leathers to inspect the shoulder and sleeve.

“Not as much as I think you would have liked.” He glared but couldn’t stop the slight smile from forming over his lips which made her purse hers in fake upset.

“I’ll just have to try harder next time.”

“You make it sound like a promise.” His voice turned ominous as he reached into his inner jacket pocket to grab a credit chit. Shepard stepping in front of him quickly and handed Taran hers which made the grey Drell blink in surprise.

“Taran, don’t take her money.” Kolyat growled grabbing her wrist to pull her away from the counter. Shepard spun around on reflex grabbing her gun from beneath her blouse shoving it against the Drells chest, making sure to keep it hidden between them. The store was empty for the moment but the last thing she needed was to give someone entering the wrong impression that she was robbing the place. She pushed herself against Kolyat easily, her hands sliding up the smooth cool leathers and around the back of his neck. The heat from his scales comforting against her fingertips.

She felt his whole body stiffen beneath her touch as she tapped his upper chest lightly with the barrel, smiling up at him as innocently as possible. She didn’t care that he was a head taller than her, she was not about to back down from him. She needed to make sure to stop this reoccurring argument once and for all if they were going to continue to spend time with one another. _So you plan on it?_ Wasn’t she just a contradictory mess? _And by the way self, you’re seriously touching him._

“We’re not really about to turn this into an argument are we? Why don’t you just do us both the favor and just follow my lead from now on. If you can’t do that simple thing Kolyat, than…” The sound of a sink loading into the chamber of her gun was the only sound between them.

She saw him swallow roughly, the ribbing on his throat vibrating to letting out a subharmonic that she couldn’t hear. His eyes met hers slowly, heat and controlled anger staring at her behind cerulean pools. He was not too happy with her right now.

“I’m getting a little tired of your threats.” He said seriously meeting her gaze in unwavering tenacity. She really had to hand it to him, not many people had the balls to talk to her like that.

“Do you always pull a gun on those who want to help you?” He murmured on the edge of anger.

“Only the important ones.” She chided, slapping his cheek playfully making him turn his face to the side and growl again softly. She pulled away from him and holstered her gun hearing a gasp from Taran as he finally noticed the pistol but her attention was locked on Kolyat. He glanced at her quickly and then away, his irises now dilated and much brighter than they were a moment ago, indicating that he liked that slap a little more than he should have. _Shit._ She meant to tease him and lightly scold him, not turn him on. _You sure about that?_ She really needed to stop touching him.

“Let the woman pay if she insists. It would be a nice change from your past-“

“Shut up.” Kolyat snapped at Taran warningly. The look on his face making the grey Drell quiet, a look passing between them, another subharmonic. Jesus, she hated their secret language, but knew she missed something in that conversation. She turned around and smiled brightly taking Kolyat’s chit and handing it back to him staring at Taran eagerly who hesitantly swiped her card trying his best not to look at Kolyat. The beeping of his omnitool caught all of their attentions as he read it and then smiled widely.

“Jovan is available now. He said he would be delighted to help you.”

“Great! Thank you so much and sorry for all the trouble.” Shepard grinned in budding excitement at the prospect of suit shopping for Kolyat.

“No trouble at all. It’s good to see you two getting along so amicably.” Taran pursed his lips teasingly, handing her back her chit.

“We’re trying. You ready to go?” She asked Kolyat saying her goodbyes to Taran as Kolyat glared at her in seething annoyance, picking up the plain black bag to follow quietly behind her. _At least he’s learning now._

“Will I see you at Congregation tomorrow?” Taran called out to Kolyat as they started leaving. She could just imagine half the thoughts going through the other Drells head.

“If this female doesn’t kill me first.” Kolyat’s comment making a deep chuckle erupt from the silver eyed Drell.

“Don’t be so dramatic.” She huffed waving one last time to make her way out of the store.

Shepard checked the contact information that Taran had given her and linked it into her omnitool pulling up the directions. After a short walk and a few turns they had already reached the store in record time. She looked around not seeing anyone but noticed a bright white suit with a silver tie and vest. Elbowing Kolyat playfully she tilted her chin to bring his attention towards it.

“There you go Kolyat, that’s the suit I’m going to buy you, very first prom date.” She giggled but Kolyat only sucked his teeth.

“I don’t know what that is, but I refuse to wear that.” His voice was still heated and he refused to look at her.

“Oh come on! I was joking. You can’t stay mad at me forever, have fun with this. I promise I’ll make you look hot.”

“Will I expect the same thing from you?” He answered almost seductively. The heat in his stare making her pause unable to find her voice. _Where the hell did that come from?_

“Theirin its her!”

A soft male voice called out towards them breaking their gaze from one another to their oncoming company. A very attractive human approached them with a joyous look on his face. He was tall and skinny but not overwhelmingly so. Baby blue eyes and short spiked up blond hair. His features were a bit feminine but all Shepard could think of was model as he walked fluidly towards them. _Jesus, this man could walk a runway if he wanted to_. Another male approached closely with him. A multicolored Drell whose scales kind of reminded her of Feron’s. His tall lean stature almost like Taran’s.

“Your pictures do not do you any justice.” The human male grabbed one of her hands in both of his gushing excitedly. _Did he just give off a tiny squeal? God damn his hands are soft._ “Can you believe it Theirin? Commander Shepard in our store!”

“It is quite an honor.” The male Drell, who she now knew was named Theirin, answered and smiled brightly towards her as well.

“I’m Jovan. Taran sent me a message and asked if I would be able to assist you. A friend of Taran’s is always welcome. Commander Shepard even more so!”

“Kolyat it is good to see you outside Congregation. I know we have never really had an opportunity to speak before now.” Theirin said to Kolyat who gave him a polite bow of his head which Kolyat returned.

“It is nice to fully meet you and yours. It is an honor.”

“Likewise. So, before Jovan becomes completely star struck we have a room prepared for you. Please follow us this way.”

She let Theirin and Jovan move ahead of them. She already had her assumptions but she just wanted to make sure as she leaned into Kolyat to whisper to him. As if anticipating her question he leaned down towards her.

“Are those two…”

“Yes.” I smelled Theirin’s claim on Jovan immediately. They are also wearing bonded Hikari’s.”

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure my radar was still working.” She smiled following the two men into a back room away from the rest of the store. When they were all in the oversized dressing room. Shepard took Kolyats bag as Jovan took her arm gently and guided her towards a big overstuffed pair of white sofa chairs guiding her to sit down.

“So, what is the occasion?” Theirin asked ushering Kolyat towards a small platform indicating for him to remove his jacket. She watched as both males widened their eyes in surprise as they saw Kolyat’s holster and pistol. She could see the displeasure on Kolyat’s face as she saw the judgement in Theirin’s eyes immediately. What the fuck? She was about to make them eat their wrongful assumptions about him right away.

“Kolyat was chosen from a long list of applicants to be my bodyguard for the Alliance Unveiling next week. C-Sec is allowing me to borrow his talents and specialty abilities during this event and maybe for future ones. He needs a suit that is both comfortable but practical enough to hide concealed weapons and stylish enough for the event.”

Kolyat’s expression softened as he stared at her taking in her words before glancing at Theirin stoically. The other male’s mouth now opened in complete awe. Theirin blinked and turned back to him in shock.

“You work for C-Sec?”

Kolyat just nodded and took his badge out of his back pocket to show it to Theirin before unlatching his holster. He grabbed his jacket from the other Drell and walking over to Shepard to hand everything to her, giving her a quick appreciative glance before turning to walk back towards the platform.

The two men worked quickly taking measurements and turns bringing in different suits ranging in color and cuts. He glanced at her periodically for her opinion as he would come from behind a curtain after he changed. The one he wore now looked good but she didn’t like the shiny material or tie. She could see the outline of his Hikari beneath the fabric as he pulled on the material at his throat making it incredibly hard for her to stifle a giggle from his obvious discomfort.

“I’m glad you’re getting pleasure out of this.” He quipped turning in the mirror not happy with the suit either.

“Do you have anything more modern? I don’t think a tie would work for him right now. He needs to be comfortable, perhaps open collar and vest? I also don’t like the shine on this material and I don’t want his Hikari to be hidden or uncomfortable beneath the fabric.”

“I was thinking along the same lines.” Jovan said thoughtfully looking at Theirin questioningly.

“What about the new Gargullo that we just got?” Jovan asked making Theirin nod in agreement.

“Let us go get it.”

After the two men left them alone she heard Kolyat sigh loosening his tie as he walked towards her and sat upon the other white sofa chair. He rubbed the back of his neck and closed his eyes as if trying to ward off rising aggravation.

“You okay?” She asked in concern not exactly sure what was on his mind.

“Yeah…thank you for what you did.”

“With Theirin before?”

“Everyone in Congregation avoided me when I first started, they still kind of do.”

“Your personality did leave much to be desired.” She said lightly giving him a grin to let him know that she didn’t mean her comment seriously. He hummed in agreement.

“I know I was really hard to deal with. People just had this perception about me. That I was always involved in something illicit, even when I was trying to change. Taran was the only one who took the time out to speak with me and we became really good friends fast. His Hara also. I would do anything for the two of them.”

“I’m glad that you have at least someone who you could turn to, but I want you to know that I’m also here if you need it.”

“I will hold you to that. I hope you know the same goes for me.”

She saw his earnest honesty, his genuine care that made her stomach tighten and her body heat in response. Just as she was about to say something the two men came back in, quickly ushering him back to the changing curtains handing him a black garment bag.

“I think this is the onnneeee~” Jovan sang clapping his hands several times in excitement making his Haru chuckle from his antics. After several moments Kolyat appeared and her breath caught in her throat. _Sweet baby Jesus._

The jacket was a two button matte, off black slender cut, which matched the perfect cut of the pants. The lapels by his collar down to the first button were short and close cropped towards the edges. The material looked incredibly soft and had enough coverage to hide his holster and guns either open or closed. He wore an open collar black shirt beneath, whose edges just peaked out under the dark royal blue vest that covered his torso. The silver Hikari laying against his chest perfectly. All the colors complementing each other flawlessly.

 She heard both men make sounds of approval as Kolyat stared at his reflection, a vain grin spreading across his lips as his eyes met hers in the mirror. _Shit, did he just catch me ogle him?_ She blinked and snorted as he continued staring at her.

“You’re so full of yourself.” She remarked impishly.

“Tell me I don’t look good then.” He said challengingly making her just shake her head in denial. He went back into the dressing room to change into his regular clothes and came out holding the garment bag handing it to Theirin who took it grinning at him in agreement. She watched an exchange of subharmonics between the two before he came to her allowing her to hand him his badge and holster and then jacket when he was done.

“I think I have a problem now.” She said seriously getting up from the chair as he grabbed the black bag from Drala’fa as they followed the two men out of the back room.

“What’s that?” He asked in concern, noticing her mood change.

“I’m going to have to go shopping for a better dress tomorrow. There is no way you’re going to look better than me at this event.” Kolyat laughed loudly and snickered.

“I don’t know…that might be really hard to pull off now. I looked really good in that suit.” Their banter made Theirin turn around and eye them each in turn before nudging Jovan and smiling at him, both men sharing a look that she couldn’t decipher.

“Ms. Shepard if you want, you can come back tomorrow and we will be more than happy to assist you with a dress for the Unveiling.”

After she voiced her approval and made an appointment with them they rang them up, the price making Kolyat swallow roughly in alarm. She saw him get ready to say something but a disapproving look in her eyes made him hold his tongue as she paid for everything and they both thanked the two men before leaving. Once they were outside Shepard didn’t say anything as she just ushered Kolyat to follow her.

He was quiet as he trailed closely beside her, hesitating only when he wasn’t sure which direction to turn in when streets veered off or altered their path. Their walk took them deeper into the lower wards, right to the edge where the upper residential district started to alter into the slums of the lower class. She could see the questions start to surface, his lips doing that thinning out that she was starting to know meant that he was unsure and was thinking about what to say.

“We’re almost there.” She reassured him turning towards an abandoned building. She glanced around a moment to view her surroundings making sure no one was looking as she slipped into a side ally and turned two more times until they approached a dead end.

Kolyat raised his eyeridge at her questioningly but stayed silent as he watched her open up a program on her omnitool to punch a few buttons. The wall before them suddenly sliding open. Kolyats eyes widened in surprise as she motioned him forward into another small empty room, the lights coming on as soon as they entered. After she closed and locked the door behind her, she hit another few buttons and a tiny panel opened up upon the wall revealing a numbered key pad and fingerprint identifier. She heard Kolyat suck in a breath knowing that he noticed the Drell numbered buttons on the pad. After punching in the key code and placing her hand on the scanner the key pad closed and the door slid open into another hallway towards a plain brown door. Once they reached the door the one behind them closed and locked.

“This is what I wanted to show you.” She said glancing at Kolyat smiling as she opened the door indicating for him to go in before her.

He was slow as he entered, but she let him take his time as the softly lighted elegant wooden hanging lights came on automatically. He looked around gradually, placing the bags upon the floor and walking into the main room carefully. Closing the door behind her she gave him a moment to take everything in.

The sitting room was warm and cozy, covered in wooden paneled walls. Two large black squared modern styled sofas and two dark brown side tables stood against the furthest walls. A small low squared coffee table of the same dark brown sat perfectly before them. The floors were covered with light tan tatami mats and small framed stenciled artworks of oceans from oriental origins covered the walls in a perfect rows of three.

Kolyat walked towards the left side of the apartment, his gaze going to the small wooden alter and incense holders to the neat stack of thick pillows upon the floor near a tall filled bookcase. His fingers ran over some of the bindings of the books, most were in the Drell language, but she knew Descartes, Aristotle and Thomas Hobbs _Leviathan_ were within the collection.

His eyes moved through the rest of the room towards the kitchen opening which was separated by an obsidian marbled bar counter with two high backed wooden bar stools before it. He moved closer to glance into the fully equipped kitchen eying the stove and cooling unit.

 “The bedroom is here.” She said motioning for him to follow. Moving down a short hallway to a door on the right, she opened it and stepping out of the way. Kolyat walked past her to look around, staring at the tidy black and dark grey comforters upon a queen sized bed. Three more book shelves took up the back wall near a dark brown wooden table and chair set. A small empty closet was on the furthest end. His expression was blank and she was really starting to wonder exactly what was going through his mind in this moment.

“The bathroom is over here and theirs still one more room I need to show you.”

Shepard turned from the doorway and went a little further down the hall opening another door to show off the bathroom and kept walking to the last door on the right. She glanced at Kolyat who was peering into the bathroom now, which she knew was also lined with wooden cabinets and black marble countertops with matching tiles in the shower and upon the floors. His face was still unreadable as he followed her to the last door and waited patiently for her to enter another key code and finger print identifier for it to open. She held out her hand and indicated for him to go in before her once again.

She heard Kolyat’s sharp intake of breath as the lights came on automatically to reveal lighted rack upon rack of polished pistols, sniper rifles and specialty modified guns. His eyes continuing to take everything in, from the specialty holsters to the cases of multiple ammo clips and weapon modifications. There was even a large display case with different shaped knives and darts. He circled the room gradually until his eyes finally met hers.

“I’ll register your fingerprints and I’ll give you all the security codes for the doors. If you want I can remove mine. You can keep this room locked and leave the stuff here or you can clear it out if you want. There’s an extra cot also…” She walked to a small door that opened to a closet. The shelves were stocked with medical supplies in all varieties and the bottom had a small rolled up bed cot.

“We can move the cot into the bedroom. Tomorrow I can get the fridge and cabinets stocked and pick up some clothes and activities for Claire and the kids. I would recommend for them to stay here and not leave until Feron finishes the ID’s for them and we can secure safe passage for them off the Citadel. Trust me when I tell you, not even a rocket launcher at close range will get through those first doors and it’s almost impossible to hack. After…well…it’s yours.”

She saw his inner eyelids close twice in uncertainty, his lips thinning out for a moment as he processed her words turning back towards one of the racks to run his hand over one of the pistols upon the shelves. He picked it up gingerly, testing the weight of it in his hand before checking the empty chamber. Flexing his fingers over the grip as he stared down the sight and examined the barrel.

“This was my fathers?” His voice was almost hoarse as he swallowed roughly. She could see he was battling his emotions in this moment. 

“Yeah…the book choices are definitely not mine. There’s an extensive library of philosophers and spirituality books from all across the galaxy. All the guns and knives are also specialty made for only Drell handling.”

“How many places like this did he have?”

“This was his main safe house on the Citadel. He has two other’s here as well. Those are mostly just weapon caches and a few medical supplies with tiny cots. He also had two on Illium and two on Omega. I haven’t had a chance to visit those yet. So I’m not exactly sure what’s there, he just gave me the location and passcodes.”

Kolyat looked at her and blinked slowly before he glanced away and tested the weight of the gun in his hand once more. She knew what she was showing him, and saying, was a lot to take in. She also knew that she was the only one that Thane shared himself with fully, but she also felt that now was the right time for Kolyat to start knowing him, and the legacy he had left behind.

“This was a part of Thane’s life...I just felt like it was the right time to show you more of the type of man he was. Even though we both knew him and our roles were different…I have a feeling that in his entire life…I was the only one who really knew him…I didn’t like that…” She shook her head not wishing to finish her sentence. She didn’t want to seem like she was stepping out of place. This was his father after all, despite what Thane and her had shared.  

“What? What didn’t you like? I wish to know your thoughts.” His voice was sincere and open. He truly want to hear what she was holding back. _He’s ready for this._

“I didn’t like that he kept this side of himself hidden from you, but truthfully I know why. You weren’t ready at the time, but you are now.”

“I know.” He agreed nodding solemnly. “It’s true, I wasn’t. I was young and inexperienced. The first time I learned about him…I wanted to be him. I thought it might have made me understand why he would rather do his job, then be with me and my mother.”

“He had to, you know that right? If he had any other choice-”

“I know…It was just an excuse I had…I understand that now…it’s just… _hushed voices from beyond the door, an angry yell cut off by a muffled sound. I rise from bed slowly, footsteps silent, peeking from the small opening. His lips are on hers, his fingers grasping around her upper arms tightly. Tears stream down her face as he pulls away, his eyes are cruel. ‘You knew this was all I was capable of when we married. I grow tired of this argument. This is how you and Kolyat eat.’ ‘I know, but I don’t like it, and you are never here. I cannot teach him how to be a man.’ He glances away, not pain, acquiescent understanding. ‘Take another Haru. I consent to it. I will supply the income for the four of us. Just make sure he is what Kolyat needs. Someone to make you happy while I am not here…and even when I am.’_

Shepard listened to the memory quietly. Thane told her that Irikah was the first woman he had ever fallen in love with, but he did have other lovers, fellow males in the Guild he was trained in. The fact that he was willing to share Irikah with another male and have another join the relationship was a strength onto itself. He never told her that he consented to have Irikah take another Haru. He really did love Kolyat, and he was trying to make them happy, the best way he knew. He would supply the money and do his job, and another male would take care of the household.

“That’s the last memory I have of my father before my mother-“

“Hey…” She spoke quietly, quickly trying to cut him off from slipping into another memory. His face already haunted with the ghosts of the past. She touched his cheek gently to guide his face towards hers. His deep blue irises catching the light as his gaze locked on hers. The beautiful cerulean pools making her think about the deep oceans of Earth. Profound emotions swirled within their depths as his eyes searched her own without inhibition.

“Don’t think about that…think about this moment filled with new clarity and understanding. I really wanted to share this with you. I wanted you to understand how different you are now. How much you’ve grown and flourished from when you first arrived. How ready you are for the future.”

Shepard could feel her heartbeat in her ears as she realized how intimately she just touched him. Her chest tightening as she watched his expression change in intensity. Slowly she reached for the gun in his hands, slipping it from his grasp without protest, to allow her to place it back upon the rack. Her hands touched the edges of his leathers, her fingers grazing over the smooth fabric to open it. She thought he might question her or protest, but the only sounds were the soft whisper of fabric as he closed his eyes and she moved behind him to gently guide it off his shoulders and down his arms placing it over the chair beside them.

Her chest grew tight as she touched him, knowing that she told herself she wouldn’t, but as her hands lingered on his back, she couldn’t stop the pull she felt, compelling her to continue like some unknown force. She could feel the tight muscles of his back, the hidden strength concealed beneath warm scales. All that unleashed power waiting right below her fingertips as she traced a path over his torso until the stopped at the C-Sec holster at his side. Nimbly she unlatched it, guiding the leather and heavy weight of the pistol down his arms to drape it over his jacket upon the chair.

She could feel his gaze on her like a second skin as she moved away towards the furthest weapon rack. It took everything in her to regulate her breathing forcing her heartbeat not to drown out everything else in existence. Why did it feel so natural to touch him? Why wasn’t he telling her to stop? _Because you see how he looks at you. The same way you’re starting to look at him._

Shepard took one of the black leather holsters bringing it back to him and slid it up and over his shoulders moving to stand back before him. He helped her adjust it, his smooth scaled fingers lightly brushing against hers periodically as they adjusted the straps and buckles until it fit perfectly against him. Grabbing the gun back from the rack she handed it to him and one of the ammo clips, watching as he loaded the pistol and clicking the safety into place before holstering it. She smiled softly admiring the quality, before picking up a few of the smaller throwing knives. Sheathing them within the slits that were specially modified for this particular holster, her hands lingered over the hard muscles of his chest noticing how well the leathers conformed to him.

“It suits you.” She said, knowing her voice was a little too breathy. Her fingers brushing against the leather of the holster admiring the perfect fit against his body.

“You should take one more pistol that feels comfortable and another dagger for your waist, you can still hide the C-Sec gun-”

Suddenly she felt Kolyat’s hands touching her elbows, the feel of his skin on hers, silencing her as she brought her eyes up to his. His fingers were at her cheek, caressing her gently as they curved beneath her jaw, his thumb painting a trail down the center of her lips until he touched her chin and guided her face upwards. His hands were light and full of warmth. His eyes scorching and endless, beckoning. Like the dark abyss of the devil who sang to you with the voice of an angel to jump within the darkness. The heat of his body came off of him in waves, a raging inferno licking across her skin. If Hell was this beautiful, oh God, how she wanted to sin.

“Am I following your lead?” He whispered as he slowly closed his eyes and she felt a ghost of his breath across her lips, a musky exotic spice that overwhelmed her senses. _Jesus Christ, how good he smells._

She had trouble comprehending, her whole body unable to move and her voice suddenly incapable to be found. She was paralyzed in this moment. Frozen in place by the heat of his hands, his whole aura around her. She felt the barest of touches upon her mouth and knew every pore screamed to taste him again. A wave of desire ran through her as she tried her hardest to fight against it, knowing she should push him away. All that escaped was a quiet whimper as his lips trailed over hers in silent promise. She hitched her breath to voice her denial but gasped subconsciously, her body betraying her as he snaked his free hand at the lower dip of her back and pulled her against him claiming her mouth as his.

The kiss was tender and soft, his lips moving against hers coaxingly, beckoning her to respond. Without thinking she kissed him back, a subtle movement of lips and warmth, until he increased the pressure making her breath hitch, her mouth opening slightly, granting the exquisite taste of his tongue to brush against hers longingly.

_’Would you have chosen differently?’_ Thane’s voice suddenly sounded in her mind.

The pain in her chest was enough to knock her breathless as it finally dawned on her what was happening. _He’s just trying to connect with his father. He views himself as a replacement. He doesn’t see you as anything else._ The harshness from the truth of her thoughts hit her hard as she turned her face away in regret and pushed at his chest gently indicating for him to release her from his hold. _This can’t happen between us._

Kolyat stopped but didn’t move at first. She could feel his whole body stiffen as he slowly opened his eyes and released her almost regrettably. His gaze was neither angry nor condescending as he moved back, only the quick double blink of his inner eyelids indicated his embarrassment. She could see the gentle ripple of his throat ribbing, indicating a subharmonic sound, but unfortunately she was unable to hear it. Gently she touched his large hand, cupping it in between hers and guided it from her face to fall between them. She gave him the best reassuring smile she could muster, trying to ease the tension between them.

“Sorry, I know you couldn’t help yourself. You’re really good at reading the right moments, no wonder you’re such a hit with the ladies.” She tried to joke but she saw the anger flash in his eyes from her words as he searched her gaze.

_Oh shit, don’t tell me he was serious._

“Sarah-” He started, but she couldn’t bring herself to let him finish.

“This holster will definitely fit properly beneath the suit. I would take some extra ammo clips also. I want to make sure you’re prepared for anything.”

“Sarah-” he tried again, but she stepped away and cut him off with a heated look.

“I don’t want to discuss what just happened Kolyat. If you feel uncomfortable now than I will find someone else to be my bodyguard for the Unveiling.” Kolyat’s eyes hardened and he stood up straighter as he watched her whole demeanor change.

“No, that will not be necessary. I gave you my word. I will be your arm Shepard. Whatever you need.”

She nodded curtly noticing immediately how he no longer called her by her first name. How intimate it had sounded on his lips. _Whatever you need._ Why did that feel like it was an open ended comment? He moved past her and stopped in the doorway his eyes now meeting hers coldly and impassively. He bowed to her politely and professionally.

”Thank you for bringing me here. It means more to me than you might realize. I’ll bring Claire and the kids here after we stock it tomorrow.” Without another word he turned from her and made his way down the hall. She had fucked up…she had seriously fucked up, and the pain in her chest was now numbing.


	8. Chapter 8

Emily was one of the very few humans on the Citadel whom Kolyat thought was attractive. She was a petite little thing, with a soft feminine face and long, slightly curled, shiny, honey brown hair. Her skin was flawless and softly tanned, just a few shades darker than Shepard’s pale coloring. Her large bright colored eyes looked like liquid amber or some kind of brown gemstone. She had long legs and a tiny waist, luscious hips and perfect large breasts that were always constrained beneath her tight white T-Shirt. A large cupcake topped with two connected cherries upon it. The words ‘Have you tasted the Forbidden Fruit?’ etched around it, above tight thigh length, black biker shorts, bare legs and black sneakers. Her usual work ensemble.

She smiled and waved as she saw him take a seat at his usual little table by the back corner. Forbidden Fruit was a popular hangout for college students and business workers in the Presidium and Kolyat would often go there on his breaks when he was on patrol. It was a decent sized coffee and pastry shop. He knew she had just finished an expansion when the store next door went out of business. Hiring contractors to knock down the adjoining wall she was able to expand her seating area and bring in more revenue. She was young, maybe a little older than Kolyat, and she was doing extremely well for herself. Kolyat did not entirely care for sweet foods or cakes, but the ones he did try from her, were the best he had ever had.

“How’s it going Kolyat?” Her soft voice asked him, eyes sparkling kindly as she looked down at him placing his Soryu Tea down on the table. He liked the fact that he never even had to order when he was here. All the girls automatically knew to bring him a Soryu. Sometimes he would eat but they would always get his tea first.

“Good.” It was a complete lie, his brain was a fucking mess right now. “How is everything?”

Emily quirked a perfectly shaped thin eyebrow at him, her eyes running over him in interest, before she clicked her tongue and sat down in the chair across from him. “Okay, what’s the matter?” she asked softly, her voice filled with concern and genuine care.

“Nothing is wrong,” Kolyat said easily, blinking at her slowly to give her a small smile. She only laughed and crossed her arms over her chest returning his grin.

“You’re such a liar.” _She can tell?_ He mused in interest watching as she waved at an Asari patron who tapped her shoulder as they passed by. He liked that about her, how nice and kind she was and she smelled really good. Like rain and oceans, although most of the time it was stifled by the sugar and dough when she was baking.

“Why do you think something is wrong?”

“Because, you’ve been coming in here for almost two years and you never give me anything but a wide smile, a lecherous grin or a perverted joke. So something is up.”

Kolyat looked down from her logical observation. His mind wandering to the happenings of yesterday and this morning with Shepard. Yesterday everything had been going good. He was genuinely having a great time, more so than any female he had ever spent time with before. Even when she shoved her gun into his chest and then playfully slapped him, making her touch feel like a sexual promise. When she had brought him to his father’s safe house, he had almost come undone. She had no idea how much that had meant to him, her words of encouragement, her belief and trust in him. No one had ever cared enough to say such things to him. No one had tried to ever fully understand. He couldn’t focus on anything but what he was starting to feel for the woman who stood before him in that moment. He had kissed her, he thought he had read it right and he wanted to show her without words, what it meant to care about something…and she had only teased him instead.

_'You’re really good at reading the right moments, no wonder you’re such a hit with the ladies’._

She had no idea how much those words had hurt him. The pain he felt when she was quick to discard him and push him away saying that she could easily find another. He couldn’t breathe in that moment. Did she really think that he was just trying to use her? That she meant nothing to him?

_Of course she did. You’ve been nothing but your own male version of a slut since you’ve been on the Citadel._

”So is it job troubles, or girl troubles? Have you decided to find yourself an actual girlfriend yet?”

“Why? Are you interested in applying for the position?” he tried to joke but his attempt came out as a half-hearted quip. He watched Emily’s smile begin to falter.

“Something tells me I wouldn’t be able to handle you.” He knew she was trying to cheer him up but her comment actually hurt even more. Didn’t humans have a saying, ‘ _you make the bed you lay in’?_

”Yeah…I give off that impression.” He looked away from her as he picked up his tea and took a sip, taking a moment to just enjoy the aromatic taste and heat of it on his tongue.

“I see what’s wrong.” Emily said seriously lowering her voice as her molten brown eyes turned serious as she evaluated his behavior and words.

“It’s job troubles. I’m worried about my upcoming exam.” He lied again taking another sip of his tea. Emily licked her lips thoughtfully and leaned closer towards him, resting her hands upon the table before her.

“You finally found a girl you liked and your reputation is proceeding you.” It wasn’t a question, it was stated observational fact. Kolyat froze his movements in surprise from what she said. There was no way he was that fucking transparent.

“I know I’m right.” She said sternly. Kolyat met her eyes and blinked deliberately, frowning in displeasure as he placed his cup back down upon the saucer beneath it.

“I know you probably don’t want any advice but-”

“You’re right I don’t,” He said nastily, but then sighed when he heard her sharp intake of breath. He looked away in shame. _You really are a bastard._ Emily was one of the very few people he actually liked. He didn’t want to upset her like he regarded her as nothing too.

“My apologies. I just have a lot on my mind. I know you are trying to help. Please, …what were you going to say?”

“Are you sure Kolyat? I won’t say anything if you don’t want to hear it, but I want you to know that this conversation never leaves us. Think of it as client privacy…I could be the pastry version of a bartender.” She smiled sweetly. Her soft attractive face bright and full of life. He suddenly wondered why he had never seen her with anyone. She never spoke to him about any significant other. Was she even single?

“I am curious now, tell me what you were going to say.” Emily licked her lips again and leaned in a little closer glancing around to make sure no one was paying attention. He was actually a little appreciative now for what she was doing.

“Sex is one thing, it can be quick, easy, it can be rough…sometimes forced. You don’t even have to feel anything to fuck somebody. You don’t notice how much it means until you actually find that person that your body responds too, like you never thought possible. You have to be careful though…things are easier when your emotions don’t blind you.” Her gaze was far away a moment as if she was thinking back on a memory before she quickly blinked it away and focused back on him.

_She was hurt badly in the past…_

“I’m not entirely sure what the situation is and I’m not asking for you to tell me, but step away for a minute and don’t force it if you really care. Let it happen naturally. Give yourself a moment to know them, let them know you. It’s hard to open up to somebody, trust me I know firsthand. Don’t rush it. If you do, you’ll regret it and it will just be that much more painful.”

Kolyat listened to her words truly understanding what she was saying. He had tried to rush it with Shepard, and by doing so he had given her the wrong idea. He was even a prick to her this morning when they had met up. When he had arrived at the station after Congregation, Bailey had dismissed him under a ‘special assignment’. He knew it just meant that Shepard had notified him with happenings of his family and the Unveiling.

He had ignored her mostly through the morning. Dodged every attempt at jokes, staying professional and courteous as she spoke and answered as they bought a few necessities for the safe house. Even after they had met up with Claire and the kids, notifying them to leave everything behind and just follow them, he didn’t really speak to her. The family was so excited that there father was friends with Commander Shepard, that they didn’t even question them. It eased the children to know that their hero had come to help them upon their father’s behest who was still working hard in his absence. He had seen new bruises on Claire’s neck and face. It took everything in him to swallow down the rage as Shepard and he shared a synched look in the moment for the anticipated payback to the assholes that tried to hurt and kill Bailey’s niece.

The rest of the day though he had forced himself to view her presence as nothing more than a job, although he had caught her a few times staring at him when she thought he wasn’t looking.  A deep etched look of sadness in her eyes, filling his chest with the pain of uncertainty. It didn’t matter though if his behavior had made her feel guilt. Actually, he had hoped he had made her feel bad. Hoped she got on her fucking knees and begged him as she apologized. No…she wouldn’t do that. _You just want to see her on her knees. How fucking hot would that be?_ Kolyat shook slightly from the intensity of his thoughts. Thinking about how she would look staring up at him from the ground. Green eyes shining with desire, lips parted in a moan, hands running over her neck as she bared it for him.

“I need a drink,” he said seriously, making Emily smile and nod, standing from her seat.

“I’ll get you another tea.”

“No,” he answered darkly, stopping her from walking away. “Not that kind of drink.”

Kolyat rose and swiped his omnitool to hers paying for his tea and tipping her before he smoothed down his black leather jacket and let out a jagged heavy breath. He saw the concern blanket her face as she bit her bottom lip in worry. He could see she was fighting the urge to say too many things to him. Emily always wore her heart on her sleeve.

“Just stay safe Kolyat.” She smiled at him weakly as he nodded at her before leaving. He needed to lose himself for the moment, he needed to clear his mind. He needed to do what he knew best. He needed to get a hard drink … and he needed to get laid.

 

* * *

 

               

“So his name is Donovan Rogers,” Narissa said, grinning widely as she passed her desk. The violet skinned Asari smiling brightly handing her a data pad with information for her next client which was due in a few hours.

She had arrived at her office a little earlier than expected, originally thinking that she would spend more time with Kolyat. However, once Claire and the kids were situated with food, clothes, lots of new toys and even a few model ships to keep them busy, he had just plainly bowed to her, wished her luck with dress shopping and dismissed himself for the rest of the day.

She didn’t say anything when he left, just watched him stiffly walk away from her as if he had just finished working a shift at C-Sec. The way he acted towards her now seemed as if he couldn’t get away from her fast enough. _Well, you did accuse him of just wanting to use you for sex and then realized that it probably wasn’t what he was thinking._ No…that couldn’t be right. It really was what he was thinking. He read the moment and went for it knowing he shouldn’t have. _At least you made it perfectly clear that he probably thinks he means nothing to you now._

Shepard’s stomach knotted in discomfort. Fuck! Killing people was so much easier, missions, prerogatives, objectives. Get in and get out. She hated when she had to make moral choices, hated when feelings and friendships were involved. Someone always got hurt, someone always couldn’t see the bigger picture and then someone would suffer. Usually her.

“So I’ll set up your date for next week.” Narissa spoke cutting her off from her thoughts.

_Wait, what?_

“Date?” she asked in confusion until their previous conversation came flooding back to her.

_Shit, she said she was going to set me up with someone._

“Is he tall, dark and handsome at least?” She tried to force a joke but tasted bile in her throat instead.

“Very sexy. I think you will approve immensely. He’s actually an acquaintance of Gary’s.”

“No,” she said automatically, already picturing a million things she wouldn’t like if he was friends with her other Secretary Gary.

“It’s not like that. He’s straight, very professional and courteous. You’ll like him a lot. Trust me, Shepard, I picked a good one.”

_Professional and courteous._

She had enough of professional and courteous from Kolyat this morning to last her a fucking lifetime. That’s not what she needed right now. Shepard just nodded solemnly in agreement. She did say she would go on a date for her and she didn’t want to go back on her word. Narissa made a sound in excitement and started typing rapidly over her keyboard.

“Great! I’ll tell him you accepted and I’ll set something up. You won’t regret this.”

Not true, she was regretting it already. She notified Narissa that she did not want to be disturbed for the next few hours until her next client came and to clear her schedule for the rest of the night because she had an appointment to find a dress for the Unveiling. After Narisaa took down some notes she went into her office and locked the doors behind her.

Sitting upon her couch heavily she crossed one leg over the other and tried to clear her mind. She knew Kolyat and she needed some time to cool off before things would go back to being comfortable with them again. She had this nagging feeling that he was finally starting to open up to someone and that not even Taran knew some of these things about him. It warmed her heart but it also made her scared. She wanted to be the one to be there for him if he needed someone. Although the thought made her heart ache in happiness, she was worried if it meant something else.

She hated how things had turned so quickly between them. _Temperamental asshole._ No…this was all her fault. She stupidly led him on. All her touching and stolen glances that she knew he was returning, and then he kissed her, which she stupidly accepted. _Fuck, his mouth had felt so hot on hers,_ but then she cruelly pushed him away and said something fucked up. _You shouldn’t have done that._ Wait a minute, yes she did. Why was she even thinking that? What was she expecting would happen? He would fuck her on the floor of the weapon room and everything would be fine? _Hey Shepard thanks for the lay, see you at the Unveiling. I knew my father liked you for a reason._ Okay, now she was getting ridiculous, he wouldn’t say that. _Maybe think it?_

Shepard made a loud noise in aggravation and rested her head back upon the couch to stare up at the ceiling. Maybe she did just need to get laid to calm herself down. She needed a real distraction. She had to stop thinking about Kolyat and how sexy he was. _‘_

_I’ll let you take the lead and show me a few things. After…well, I’m sure you’ll enjoy the ride’._

_Another sexy Drell…_

Looking up at the large screen on her wall she hit her scramblers and then reached out a call waiting patiently for it to connect. After the fourth indicator ended and started in on the fifth she was just about to disconnect but then suddenly Feron came on the screen before her. He glanced at her and moved his hands off screen most likely finishing up whatever he was working on.

“Sorry Shep, I was on a call with an agent.”

“No problem. Take your time. Do you want to call me back?”

“No way. I always have time for you.” He grinned, typing a few more moments before turning his attention completely on her giving her his usual devilish grin.

“Tough day?” He asked. His eyes running over her slowly from head to foot, probably noticing how tense she was.

 _Damn those analyzing drell eyes._  

“Are you alone?” she blurted her question, making him raise an eyeridge in curiosity.

“Yeah?” He drew the word out into a question. “I’m working in my room right now.”

“Is your door locked?” she asked teasingly, watching as his eyes shifted towards his door and then back to the screen in uncertainty.

“Yes? I’m confused. You know our calls are usually private.”

“I just wanted to make sure Liara wasn’t lurking behind you.” She smiled reaching towards the first button of her dress. Feron chuckled and closed his eyes nodding in agreement.

“Yeah she’s a lurker, sometimes she also…” His sentence trailed off, as he looked at her again, his face uncharacteristically serious just as her fingers unbutton the second clasp of her dress. He watched her silently and she grinned, slowly leaning forward to give him a perfect view of the tops of her breasts as she pulled back the material of her dress, one side at a time. He swallowed roughly, his throat doing an almost unnoticeable ripple when she licked her bottom lip suggestively.

“I’m guessing this means you’ve thought about our previous conversation?”

“Perhaps,” she said huskily, her fingers running over her neck as she tilted her head to the side and slightly back as if she was granting him access to her throat. She knew that simple gesture was extremely desirable to a Drell and would turn him on.

“Oh, hell yes.” He breathed deeply leaning into the screen a little more eagerly. His throat releasing a soft till of excitement as he silently urged her on. She didn’t want to disappoint him and she unfastened the third button revealing the edges of the black sheer material of her bra.

She liked the expression in his eyes, the hungry enjoyable look as she sighed in enjoyment running her fingers over her throat once more to pull the dress down baring her shoulder, elaborately showing him her throat again. Feron bit his bottom lip and brought the back of his fingers to his mouth as he rested his elbow on the table before him, trying to hide the wide grin that threatened to take over his face.

She blinked at him slowly giving him her best seductive gaze, leaning back against the couch, she uncrossed her legs leaning forward to make a show of grabbing the material of the dress at her knees. Gradually she bunched the material on her thighs, pooling the fabric between her legs as she spread them wider. Shepard leaned forward and rested her hands on the couch, the fabric gathered before her juncture hiding her underwear from his view. The movement made her cleavage squeeze together slightly and she released a fourth button to show the swell and valley between her breasts.

“You really want me to jerk off tonight, don’t you?” He murmured darkly making her smile wider.

“Will you let me watch?”

“Fuck, Shepard.”

“My underwear match the bra you know.”

“Show me,” he said. His voice low and deep on the verge of a guttural growl.

Shepard leaned back against the couch crossing one leg over the other and tilted her body to lean her hip towards the screen. Pulling up her dress at the side, she revealed the inch thick strap of the high cut thong she wore and the transparent black material.

“Fuuuucccck. The things I want to do to you.” He breathed thickly in arousal, the gravely double tremor more pronounced as the slight swell of his throat ribbing become noticeable. His eyes were dilated now, the hazel color brighter as he stared at her in desire.

“When are you coming to the Citadel?”

“I should be there in a few days. Is it safe to say that I am going to see you?”

“Definitely.” She smiled making a show of running her hand over her throat to cup the roundness of her breast, to the flat span of her stomach.

“Give me one more button?” he asked, voice on the verge of begging.

“Are you even used to breasts?”

“I’ve been with a few Asari, I think they’re really sexy, and they liked when I touched them.”

“I think everyone has been with an Asari.” Shepard quipped making Feron chuckle in agreement. Her fingers went to the fifth button which would allow her to open the dress and show off her bra completely to him. She unlatched it and looked at him through half-lidded eyes, her voice low and heady.

“I’ll like it when you touch them too.”

She heard an instinctual growl of dominance erupt from his throat as she pulled back the material and revealed her undergarment to him, a small patch of black lace concealing her nipples. She pinched one between her fingers, gasping as the act of stripping for him, hearing him and teasing herself started to make her stomach tighten in her own budding desire. She could feel the need blooming between her legs.

Roughly she saw his head turn to the side and he released a loud curse. Taking a deep breath to calm himself he looked at her and yelled towards the door to give him one minute before glancing towards it again. He looked at her in lust before taking another deep breath, rubbing his face frantically with his fingerless leather gloves. He was trying desperately to get a hold of himself. Shepard laughed gently and fixed her dress, readjusting her buttons and slowly closing them up.

“Give me a few, I will call you right back,” he said a little too harshly, closing the connection leaving her with a blank screen.

Shepard covered her mouth with her hand trying her best to stop the huge grin that was spreading across her face. She couldn’t believe she just did that for Feron, but the thought of him coming to the Citadel actually made her kind of happy. She looked forward to seeing him again but now he was coming for another reason as well. _Just the distraction I need._ Maybe Feron would be able to give her what she needed. A good lay without complications, and by the way he responded to her, she was sure he was thinking along the same lines.

Just as she finished closing up her dress and readjusting her skirts Feron’s call indicator came on again. Trying to control the rapid beat of her heart she crossed one leg over the other and connected, grinning at him as soon as he appeared.

“I’m a little disappointed you’re not naked.”

“I can’t reveal everything before you get here. I need to leave a little bit for your imagination.”

“You won’t even believe half the things my imagination is going to come up with tonight.” The green of his eyes were still more noticeable, indicating just how aroused the thought of her was still making him.

“Can I get your permission to be the focal point of mine tonight?”

“Oh, hell yes. But don’t make me too good. It will be harder to keep up with your expectations when I get there.”

“Maybe I’ll just keep you on your knees for a little while. Or imagine what you will look like stroking yourself tonight while you think about me.” She heard him growl again as he took a deep breath and stared up at the ceiling as if to calm himself down.

“Okay, we really need to stop. You have no idea how much I want to jump in a cruiser and get their right now.” She chuckled deeply in understanding but not completely against the idea.

“So … did anything important interrupt us at least?”

“Kind of…I was supposed to update an agent who was waiting to move in on a target and they lost them…” Feron rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment making Shepard snort, releasing a loud laugh. Feron gently smiled as he watched her.

“Aw Feron, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay. The distraction was worth it.”

“If Liara asks just blame it on me. Tell her I was…asking on a status update on the ID’s or the bounty hunter that accepted the hit on me, or something…”

“Don’t worry, I’ll think of something good.” He mused as they stared at each other in silence for a few moments, both of them trying to hide coy smiles and appraising glances.

“Hey…I’m sorry I can’t be your date for the Unveiling,” he said a little regrettably.

_Shit, Kolyat and the Unveiling._

“Actually…Kolyat is going to go with me.” Shepard said hesitantly looking away from him, suddenly feeling guilty. _Wait a minute, why do I feel guilty?_ They decided they were going to be friends with benefits, at least for now. There was no reason for her to feel guilty about anything. Besides, it’s not like she was dating Kolyat. _He doesn’t date._ Wait a minute…why did that thought suddenly occur to her before him being Thane’s son? Why was she even thinking about this while she was talking to Feron!

“Kolyat…yeah?” The interest in his voice bringing her back to him.

“I…thought about what you said the other day. How a Drell would be a better protector. I was having lunch with Kolyat and…I kind of just asked him.”

“It’s good you’re giving him the opportunity to guard you. It will help him with future assignments.”

“Yeah…I think this will be good for him. We went suit shopping yesterday…he was so mad when I wouldn’t let him pay for anything, but we got him a good one…I also brought him to Thane’s main safe house. He was…touched.” Shepard looked away and grinned as she remembered the look on Kolyat’s face when she had pulled her gun on him and all the pissed of thoughts that were probably in his head as he followed behind her outside Drala’fa. She remembered his expression as he walked through the safe house. The deep emotions she knew he was feeling in that moment. Shepard’s smile slowly faltered when she glanced up at Feron who was now staring at her with narrowed assessing eyes.

“Shepard…are you and Kolyat-“

“Don’t even finish that question,” she snapped, mentally reprimanding herself for giving him the wrong idea.

_Of course you did, you let him kiss you!_

“You don’t even know-“

“We’re not Feron.” She said sternly meeting his gaze heatedly watching as his lips thinned out into an unhappy line. He wasn’t frowning, but he wasn’t smiling either.

“Besides…I thought you were interested in me?”

“I’m interested, but we don’t even know what this is yet. If you want to see others, I don’t want to hold you back. At least not until we discuss it more…and Kolyat’s very attractive.” _There was no denying that. “_ Besides, it would be better for me to know if I have any competition to worry about.”

“Kolyat and I-“

“I’m going to leave that alone for now, but that’s not what I’m talking about.”

“I don’t-”

“Donovan Rogers.”

“Who?” Her voice trailed off suddenly remembering Narissa’s blind date.

“You **_hacked_** Narissa’s computer?” Feron rested his elbow upon the table and grinned placing the side of his face upon his half gloved fist.

“Are you really surprised about that? Hacked wouldn’t even be the right word for it. I saw an open door…so I walked right in. You should have seen some of these males she was trying to find for you. Let’s just say she actually picked a good one, but I didn’t know you were that desperate for a date. Makes me wonder about your interest in me now.” His voice held a hint of condescending accusation but she decided to let it go.

“I’m not desperate and don’t say that. You know I care about you. I promised her I would let her set me up on a blind date. That was before you voiced your interest and-”

“I know what we discussed Shepard.”

“Look, she was adamant about it. She said I looked like I just needed to have a little fun, so I agreed…If you’re jealous I’ll cancel it.” She didn’t want to cause any stress between her and Feron, she didn’t need any more drama. She already had one pissed off Drell. She didn’t need another.

“I’m not jealous,” he said seriously.

“Did you find out anything about him?” Her tone now matching his.

“He’s cut and dry…seems like a good guy. No shady dealings, his money is honest and so are the majority of his clients. He works in trade, his products are pretty broad spectrum, sometimes selling harder to find items. Nothing illegal.  He’s only been arrested once and that was because he was defending his friend who started a fight with a Batarian in a bar. He’s that…what do you humans call it…’a good ol’ boy’?”

“So he’s the complete opposite of me?”

“Well, they do say opposites attract.”

“I’d rather be going on a date with you.”

 _Did I just say that?_ Shepard bit her lip and looked away hesitantly. _Fuck, did I **really** just say that? _

“You should go, Shepard. It might be good for you. It’s just a date. It doesn’t mean anything unless you make it so. You’re not going to bond with him tomorrow. At least I hope you won’t. Besides…I know you’ll wait until I get at least one night with you.”

“So confident skittles. You think it will only take one night?” She pursed her lips and teased him again flirtingly watching as Feron’s expression finally softened.

“Depends…are you planning on tasting the rainbow?” He grinned wickedly making Shepard snort back an elaborate laugh in delight.

“Oh God, I was wondering when you were going to slip that in somewhere.”

“I was waiting for the perfect opportunity.”

“I bet you were.” She mused seeing his eyes glance off-screen to the side again. She was interrupting him from his work. She didn’t want to get him in anymore trouble.

“Go ahead Feron. I know you’re busy.”

“I’m always busy. This place never stops.” Something in his expression and tone made her pause. The look in his eyes seemed a little off.  “Want me to call you tonight?”

“Unless your planning on letting me watch. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” She answered him trying to distract him from whatever was going through his mind a moment ago. Chuckling deeply his eyes roamed over her from head to foot before giving her his signature roguish grin.

“I can’t reveal everything before I get there. I need to leave a little bit for your imagination.”

Shepard shook her head as they said their goodbyes and he disconnected. Taking a deep breath she rested her head back against the couch and tried to distract herself with what Feron’s scales would look like beneath his leathers.

 

* * *

 

He noticed her glancing at him periodically. The Drell female by herself in the corner, a drink in her hands. He made eye contact and held it, giving her silent confirmation if she wished to approach him. Normally he would have approached her but tonight he just wasn’t in the mood to play the game. If someone wanted him, they would have to come to him. He stole another glance and watched as she excused herself from the group of women she was with, sipping her drink before putting it down upon the table. A human and a few Asari were with her. Honestly, he would have fucked any of them if they wanted it. He didn’t even care who at this particular moment.

The girl walked towards him slowly, the light sky blue of her scales shimmering as she moved through the flashing lights of the bar. Loud ground pulsing music vibrating through the floors as he took a few more deep gulps to finish his drink before she approached him. After his third hard one, he was finally able to feel the ease from the burning straight up liquor.

She slid in easily beside him, her dark eyes glancing up at him in silent question. He leaned in and gave her an inquisitive subharmonic which she returned right away in acceptance. He turned fully towards her than, glancing at her neck, making sure this wouldn’t be a serious thing, her own going to his as well. The thick silver Hikari meaning the same thing as her lack of one. Neither of them wanted anything past tonight.

He saw her admiring his scales and patterns, the till in her throat letting him know how beautiful she found him. He gave a sound of thanks and she tilted her head to the side indicating for him to follow her as she turned to walk towards the back rooms. Leaving the main room they followed a long narrow hallway passing by a few openings and dark crevices where other couples were in different stages of encounters. When she reached the end of the hallway that lead into two directions she glanced back at him inquisitively.

“Which way would you like to go?” she asked, her voice very gentle and low.

Kolyat glanced both ways and guided her towards the direction that was more concealed and blanketed in shadows. When he felt her hesitate a moment he took his hand off her back and gave her a soothing hum of understanding. He would never force a female into doing anything with him that was not wanted. That was why he had stopped when he sensed Shepard- No, he didn’t want to think about that right now. He needed to focus on the female before him and clear his mind. _Don’t think about her…_

“Forgive me, I do not do this too often.” He tilted his head to the side studying her.

_Maybe he should just get another drink and go home._

“I understand. If you changed your mind-”

“No…I just needed a moment to gather my courage.”

_Focus on her…this female actually wants you._

“I can be gentle, if that is what you prefer.” He kept his voice soft to match her own shy disposition. Making a sound of approval she slipping past him into the shadows and indicated for him to come closer. A purr of encouragement vibrating from her throat.

Kolyat took a step forward but paused suddenly feeling off about the whole situation. His stomach tightened not in desire but uncertainty as he listened to the till that was meant to entice, but instead invoked nothing within him.

_What the fuck is the matter with me? I’ve done this plenty of times before._

The girl was staring at him expectantly now her light blue scales shining dimly in the low lighting, irises unable to be seen. She made another sound to coax him forward and Kolyat moved towards her almost mechanically, letting his instincts take over as his hands slowly guided themselves up her arms toward her neck. Hearing a till of submission slip from her throat she closed her eyes and titled her head to the side granting him access to her dark blue ribbing.

Kolyat wetted his lips in anticipation desperate to lose himself in this female before him. Dipping his mouth to the crook of her neck he smelled her deeply taking her willing scent into him. Her aroma was gentle and soft, like desert flowers, pleasing, but not enough to make his mouth water in need. _She’s too docile, too quiet._ He smelt her again, his tongue slowly running over her frills to taste her venom and indicate his intimate acceptance but making sure the potent tang of heating time was not upon her. The last thing he needed was the possibility of his own bastard running around.

Her hand was upon his hip guiding itself up into his jacket. Grabbing her wrist in alarm he stopped her administrations before they began, not willing for her to find his hidden gun and startle her away. Hooking her hand around his neck he bent and brought his throat down to her lips allowing her to accept his scent and bite, before they continued. Something about her screamed formal and he had already told her he would be gentle. _I guess I should follow proper etiquette._

When he felt the soft bite as his throat, his instincts flared a little higher. Pushing himself slightly against her, he reached down to grab the material of her long skirts and slipped his hand up her thigh. The ripples and texture of her scales cool beneath his touch.

“Do you want to tell me your name?” He asked not particularly caring but giving her the curtesy if she wanted him to know.

“No, and I don’t want yours.” She breathed against his neck biting him again and running her course tongue to the most sensitive spots beneath his cheek fringe forcing a shudder to run through him. She ground herself against him, her nips and licks becoming bolder as she moved over his throat as his fingers found the juncture of her thighs. He could smell her arousal now, as calm as the rest of her, still not forcing an overwhelming desire to course through him like it should have. Even as her hands guided over his leathers caressing him lightly, Kolyat started to despair that perhaps something was wrong with him.

“Give me a moment.” He croaked trying to clear his mind and just focus on the cool feeling of the female’s body before him. Her sounds of desire and want, her scent, letting him know that she wanted him. **_She_** _wants me._

“Here, let me.” She purred to him as her hands caressed him once more before she unlatched his leathers to dip her palm within, pulling him free. Kolyat rested one hand upon the wall behind her and closed his eyes concentrating on her fingers wrapping around his thick girth. He sighed as she stroked him. Her movements slow and the pressure light against him. It took him a little while, but she continued without impatience until he grew hard enough for his natural lubrication to start seeping out from within his ridges and frills. Making him now moist enough to take her comfortably.

Pushing against him lightly, Kolyat moved away giving her enough room to hoist her skirt up and pull her underwear away. He moved against her and lifted her leg slightly, watching her expression as she closed her eyes and sighed when he slowly entered her. He stared at her face, watching the dark blue ribbing swell in arousal, listening to her instinctual till of pleasure. She was enjoying it but something about it seemed even more mechanical now. Like he was just going through the motions. Despite the fact that she was starting to get a little louder, a little less composed, clutching at his shoulders while he pumped her incredibly slow. Kolyat swallowed back his growl of frustration not wishing to hurt the female before him but wanting to pick up the pace. Everything about her just seemed more delicate than he would have liked, even for a Drell. He closed his eyes and concentrated on just finding his pleasure, thinking about nothing but the pressure on his dick and reaching his height.

“Harder.” She eventually moaned, her voice barely a whisper making Kolyat growl in acceptance.

_About fucking time._

Without thinking he pulled himself out and turned her around roughly, yanking her long skirts up to bunch at the curve of her back. Hooking his hand beneath her knee he pulled her leg up to help spread her as he plunged back inside, crudely pressing her against the wall hard. His patience was at its end for gentle and soft, just desperate to feel something more as he tried to chase his own pleasure. She didn’t protest as he used her, his movements helping in making her reach her peak as the rumbled till vibrated and he felt the edges of her release start to rise.

“Are you close?” she asked between gasps her face buried in her fist against the wall trying to stay as silent as possible.

“Go ahead, I’m almost there.” He lied, not anywhere near his own completion. He just wanted it to end now and knew her release would force his own, whether he liked it or not. He pushed into her faster, letting her use him as he fucked her harder, until he brought her to orgasm. She gasped loudly, the till in her throat letting out a high hitch that only he was able to hear, as he felt her body clamp down on him and force his shaft to stay trapped within her. The vibration of her inner frills sent currents over him, pushing him over the edge forcefully, like a chair kicked out beneath him. He grunted in pain, as his seed was pulled from him vehemently and forced to spill within her. The sensation not entirely pleasant and enjoyable…but at least it was over and he could now leave.

 _I should have just jerked off at home. Did she even notice that I wasn’t into it? Wait…_ Who gave a fuck? He probably wasn’t going to see her gain, what fucking difference did it make? They didn’t know each other. He doubted she could tell the difference anyway. Kolyat sighed deeply feeling more frustrated than he did before he got to the bar, waiting impatiently for her to finish.

He withdrew from her as soon as her body released him, fighting the urge to just push her away and not touch her again.  Her breaths were heavy as they both adjusted their clothes in silence noticing her glance at him periodically as she righted her skirts and slowly turned around. _Please don’t ask me for anything else._ _Please don’t touch me again._

He tried his best not to show what he was thinking upon his face and surprisingly she didn’t say anything else, just gave him a till of thanks respectfully and bowed her head politely before turning to leave once she was fully righted. Kolyat didn’t say anything as he watched her leave, staring at the way her hips swayed beneath her dress until she turned and was completely out of view.

Releasing a heavy breath of aggravation Kolyat leaned against the wall and growled in annoyance. _What the fuck is the matter with me?_ He had never felt like this before. A sinking feeling taking root in his stomach and throat, made him feel uncomfortable and sick. He just wanted to go home now and pass out. Take a shower or maybe throw up. He had thought coming here and grabbing a drink, following his normal routine, would have helped bring him a sense of peace, but instead, the liquor, the atmosphere, and the sex, was just as good as he now felt … empty and just there.


	9. Chapter 9

_Sweet Mother of Protection._ He had heard the stories about Hell. A place where many humans believed, that if you did bad things in life instead of the sea, you were forced there after death. There was fire and brimstone and other things he didn’t finish reading about. It was place of suffering, where you were tortured for all eternity because of your sins. _Hell…I’m in Hell. This is what Hell must be._

It took every ounce of strength in his soul for Kolyat not to groan in agony when he watched Shepard appear from the back room. He had never seen anything so beautiful and desirable in his entire life. She glanced at him and smiled as she moved to her desk and closed out the programs on her computer, locking them with extra security, waiting for the proper protocols to initialize as she finished putting her earrings in. Twin sapphire tear drops below a string of three diamonds encased in silver or perhaps knowing her, white gold.

Her hair was half up with tendrils of ruby red waves falling around her neck and shoulders haphazardly. The dress was magnificent. Dark blue intricate delicate lace just shy of concealing the abundant swell of her breasts that started in a low V and worked its way off her shoulders leaving her collar bones, neck and throat bare. He stared at the delicate curve of her neckline forcing himself not to slip into a memory and remember how his tongue had felt running over it.

The lace was tight against her body, a second skin with cutouts in the patterns upon her stomach and sides as if giving a small glimpse into the heaven that was waiting right beyond the openings. The fabric ended at the swell of her hips where ripples of dark blue silk dropped in layer upon layer of material against her legs. Her feet were covered in dark blue open-toed high heel shoes with a blue sapphire teardrop and two diamonds right in the center of the thin straps near her perfectly manicured toes.

“Can you help me with this?” she asked staring at him expectantly as she took a flat thin velvet box from her desk and motion towards him. He approached her slowly trying to keep as much as his composure as agonizingly possible.

She placed the box in his hands and turned her back towards him as he opened it, revealing a diamond string necklace with a large sapphire in the middle. Slowly he took it out, keeping his hands as steady as possible as he hooked it around her neck.

“So, I’m waiting for you to ask me.”

“Ask you what?” Kolyat said curiously while laying the necklace over her throat to close the double clasp in the back. _If this necklace is worth more than I make in ten years? Because it probably is._

“My dress. Jovan and Theirin made it a point to bring out dresses only in this color.”

“The color is very flattering against your skin and you look extraordinary.” His voice came out more rumbled than he would have liked as he finished closing the fastenings and stepped away from her trying not to linger on the exotic and heavenly smell upon her skin.

“We basically match.” She said with discontent frowning as she turned to look at him.

Kolyat glanced down at his dark blue vest beneath his suit and then thought about the color of his scales and her dress before he scoffed and shook his head as he realized completely what she meant.

“Are you upset because I still look better than you?” he asked haughtily and grinned. He was pleased when she snorted in distaste and returned his expression. The air between them starting to feel lighter, before she bit her lip and looked away in hesitation. _It cannot remain like this between us._

“I am curious about something.”

“About what?” She quirked her eyebrow in interest as he grabbed her attention completely.

“Where exactly are you hiding your gun?” Kolyat ran his eyes very slowly up her body. By how tight the dress was, there was no way she was hiding it in her usually spot at the base of her back. Perhaps a holster on her upper thigh? There was enough material to hide the presence if need be.

He blinked at her deliberately when he reached her gaze, a large grin still spread across her soft pink painted lips. A delicate amount of dark blue eyeshadow and black eyeliner surrounding her emerald green eyes. She was a vision of true beauty, power and elegance. A true warrior angel. _I am in Hell._  Swallowing back his thoughts he crossed his arms over his chest giving her a scrutinizing look watching as she shrugged and turned away from him to walk towards the door, indicating for him to follow. He had a feeling she wasn’t going to tell him.

When they reached the door she hesitated and took a deep breath before stepping into the automatic sensor. Her eyes turning to look back up at him in worry as she bit her bottom lip again. Whatever was bothering her, it weighed heavily on her mind.

“Hey … about the other day-“

“Don’t.” he cut her off immediately not wishing to start a fight or upset her further right now. Not if her life was about to be on the line. He didn’t need the extra distraction. Holding his hand up, he shook his head in disapproval walking towards the office door.

“Just forget about it. I know I pushed you when you weren’t ready. I understand…I need to take things slower with you.”

“Yeah I…wait, what?” Before he could give her a moment to answer and process what he said, he left the office and moved quickly towards the reception area.

_Wait a second, did I just voice my actual interest in her?_ Kolyat chanced a glance back at her and saw the questioning look in her eyes. _Shit, I did._

“Kolyat,” she called his name sternly making him stop and turn towards her. Without backing down he stood up straight and stared at her in complete confidence.

_I_ _will not take back what I just said._

“What did you mean-” She started until a female’s moan interrupted her making them both blink in confusion and turn towards the origin of the sound. Narissa and Gary both suddenly looking up from the computer screen with wide eyes as they stared at them. Another moan followed by a growl coming from their direction.

“What the hell are you watching? It sounds like porn.”

“Ms. Shepard have you recently…” Narissa’s voice trailed off as Gary stood up and motioned her closer.

“Have you fucked a Turian recently?” Gary asked blatantly.

Why was it getting harder and harder to keep his expression neutral around these people? He did his best not to show the shock he felt by the man, who he had only recently met earlier, so openly ask such a question to her. _Wait…why **was** he asking her that? _ Shepard tilted her head to the side as if thinking. _You have to be fucking kidding me._

“No, I’m pretty sure I would remember that. Was I drunk?”

“I’m telling you it’s not her Narissa.” Gary’s voice was serious as he glanced at the lavender Asari beside him as she looked up at him and then back at the screen, the sounds getting even louder and more obscene.

“Are you sure? The resemblance...”

“Who looks like me?” Shepard asked, crossing her arms over her chest frowning in displeasure.

“This Turian and Human. He’s really dining out on her.” Gary answered, placing a hand on the desk to study the computer once again.

“Wait a minute,” Shepard spoke looking down in contemplation.

_Gods, is she still trying to remember if she did or not?_

“How is that possible with their teeth and their nails and….I have to see this.”

Kolyat watched as she hurriedly made her way behind the desk and pushed Gary slightly so she could sit next to Narissa and stare at the screen with them. Kolyat’s own curiosity got the better of him as he followed quietly until he was able to see behind them.

A human woman was laying upon the edge of the bed, the back of her head to the camera. Long red wavy hair cascading behind her upon the sheets. Legs spread wide as the face of the Turian dipped down, his long tongue disappearing within her body. He almost let out a breath of relief when the woman moaned again, the pitch and tone not matching Shepard’s. Were humans and Asari’s not able to hear the difference?

The Turian suddenly stopped and grabbed the woman to sit up, her hands grabbing at the material of his pants to guide them down his hard body. His erection at full bloom reaching for her eagerly. Kolyat shifted uncomfortably doing his best not to show how off he felt while watching a porn video in the company of others. He had to focus and force himself not to view the woman as Shepard, although she looked extremely similar. _Shit…I think I’m getting turned on._

“Is that really his dick?” Gary asked skeptically.

“It’s so…” Shepard started

“Small?” he finished.

“I was going to say slimy, but yeah he’s pretty small too.”

“They have to be moist. Their women don’t produce lubrication of their own.” Narissa answered seriously making all three of them turn to blink at her in surprise.

“How the hell do you now that?” Gary frowned making her stammer and look away from them.

_She’s been with a turian female?_

“Okay leave Narissa alone but seriously this is just ridiculous…It looks like its sweating, or melting, or ughhhhh! Don’t put that in your mouth!” Gary and Shepard both made sounds of horror and covered their eyes to look away a moment before glancing back. He bit his lip to stop a laugh from escaping his throat watching their reactions.  

“She’s going to be really sick if he cums in her mouth,” she said seriously, her green eyes darkening.

The turian grabbed the woman quickly and picked her up with ease, flipping her over and burying her face within the pillow. The fact that they were doing everything to cover this woman’s face was fact enough how fake the video was although the title said “Commander Shepard takes turian Cock”. Did the video really not upset her?

“I don’t like this woman’s ass.” Gary snorted.

“So you really know it’s not me?”

“Of course it isn’t, this woman’s ass is too small.”

“Are you saying I have a fat ass?” Shepard blinked at him in dismay.

“No my dear, you have a fabulous ass.”

“Damn right. My tits are nicer too.” Shepard’s attention went back to screen as if mesmerized.

“I always appreciated your modesty Shepard…Well anyway, I think my curiosity has been sated, I’ll stick to human men. Unless Drell dicks are bigger. Are their women dry too?” Gary’s eyes turned on him suggestively giving him a once over before he grinned widely his eyes dimming in desire. Kolyat sucked his teeth immediately and frowned.

“I’m not interested.” he snapped, making Gary’s face fall and Narissa snort back a laugh.

“Their women only produce moisture after their first orgasm.” Shepard said almost mechanically, her attention still absorbed on the screen. “Drell males have frills on the base of their members and ridges that produce lubrication when they’re excited. Imagine wet silk lube that taste like exotic spice, kind of like coffee or-”

Horror blanketed Shepard’s face as she realized what slipped out of her mouth. Gary and Narissa both grinned at her with satisfied looks in their eyes. Kolyat turned his head away as he tried to suppress his own grin that he knew wanted to break free. A cough coming from his mouth as he tried to stifle a laugh.

“Well, well, someone’s been naughty,” Gary said cheekily. Kolyat could see the red hues erupting over her cheeks in mortification.

“I think we just guessed what species your last lover was. Especially if he tasted like coffee.” Narissa mused quietly. Gary made a sound of agreement.

“Her addiction on the skin of a male. I’m surprised she didn’t just lick him all day. The perks of being Commander Shepard I’m sure.”

“Oh, my God.” Shepard groaned, burying her face in her hands. “Please don’t start that.”

“Is this why you’re her date for the Unveiling? Are you two seeing each other?” Gary glanced at Kolyat in interest.

“Okay enough!” Shepard said in anger, pushing herself up from the desk making Gary and Narissa quiet and share a worried look. She walked towards the door and motioned for him to follow. Kolyat knew better than to argue as he fell beside her glancing at her two Secretary’s that both smiled at him softly and waved goodbye.

He stayed close to her as they walked towards the transport station, glancing around periodically to see if anything seemed off, looking up into the buildings to see if something would catch his attention. Sounds, smells, lighting, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. He had a feeling that the hit, if it was attempted, would be at the Unveiling itself but he still wanted to make sure that nothing happened before they got there. When he was satisfied with his survey he noticed Shepard staring at him with a whimsical look on her face.

“What?” he asked, almost accusingly.

“Nothing,” she said but her smile didn’t falter as she summoned the vehicle and glanced at him again her grin widening.

_What the hell is going through her head?_

She remained silent as they entered the car, the fabric of her skirts bunching around her legs and over the seat as he sat next to her. He helped adjust the abundant material that trailed over the seating, moving it so he wouldn’t sit on the fabric, their fingers brushing momentarily. She glanced at him in thanks frowning as she moved the skirt comfortably around her legs making him grin at her discomfort.

When the sky car started moving he could see her glancing at him every so often through the reflection of the glass. Was she uncomfortable being alone with him now? What could he do to ease her? He coughed quietly and glanced at her.

“You know, you really should stop undressing me with your eyes, you’re going to give a man a complex.” He grinned cheekily running his hand down the front of his vest in elaboration making her choke back a laugh. The distraction working as he intended.

“Oh? I’m undressing you, huh? Don’t think I didn’t see you eyeing me in the office before.” So, she had caught him.

“Don’t pretend you wore that dress to appear as an angel, although you do look heavenly. I assure you.”

“Smooth Kolyat, very smooth.” She clicked her tongue at him in sarcastic delight.

“I do try, but you misinterpreted my stares from before.”

“Did I now?” Her voice now ringing with disbelief and challenge.

“I was merely waiting for you to bust your ass in those heels.” He deadpanned staring at her stoically.

“You’re so funny.” She quipped dryly, silence stretching out between them a moment before she sighed almost dramatically. “Please don’t let me do that in front of the reporters. That would be mortifying.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll catch you if you do.” She blinked slowly and studied him, long black lashes fluttering and framing mesmerizing jewels. He knew his gaze was more intense than he meant it to be and he did not wish to come on too strong so he grinned and turned his eyes away.

“Unless of course, you would prefer to shoot your way out of the room? I’ll leave it for you to decide.”

“I don’t think that’s an option for me tonight.”

“The night has not yet started. We still have time.”

He jumped slightly and laughed throatily when he felt her jab her elbow playfully into his side. This is what he wanted back. The ease and comfortable atmosphere between them. It had really bothered him when he had to take a step back and regard her as if she meant nothing to him, especially after the time they had spent in his father’s safe house. He was realizing it was far from the truth. The more time they spent together, the more he wanted to see her again, know her, watch her smile and hear her laugh. Suddenly the thought of a different future made him sober. If his father still lived she could have been his stepmother. He wondered if he would have stayed away or gotten to know her. He probably wouldn’t even have looked at her again.

 He glimpsed back at her, a grin on her lips but slowly falling as she noticed the seriousness on his. Would he have stayed away? Would he have been able to? If he got to know her, that might have not been an option for him. Maybe he would have viewed her presence more cruelly…maybe he would’ve been gentler. Either way, no matter how much he tried not to, he still loved his father and it wasn’t uncommon for a widowed male, if remarried, to involve his son in the union. He wondered if his father would have asked him, to try and gain his favor or force a closer bond between them. He tried to picture it. His father touching her while he watched, allowing him to touch her while he observed. Would it turn him on?

_No, our relationship would have never been strong enough for that. Why am I even thinking about this shit right now?_

“Is everything okay?” Her voice was heavy now with an underlining air of worry. He did not wish to give her the wrong idea. Still unsure of where the thoughts that entered his mind had just come from.

“So…how do you wish to play this? Am I your bodyguard? Or your date?” he asked, changing the subject in his mind.

“Both. For appearances, you’re my date. There are still rumors that I have a drell lover, so we can use that to our advantage. We can’t tip off anyone to show that we are aware of the assassination attempt that might happen tonight.” Kolyat nodded in understanding trying not to show how excited he actually was to be considered her date for the evening.

“I spoke to Bailey this morning, there are extra undercover security and detectives that will be present, along with checkpoints within the building. Extra rooms are secured for surveillance coverage and sensors have been placed in larger vents and less used areas. I won’t leave your side tonight.”

“Kolyat-”

“Sarah…I know you can take care of yourself but I want you to rely on me. I **_swear_** I will allow no harm to come to you. I need you to trust me.”

“I trust you Kolyat.” The sincerity in her voice and gaze made his chest ache in pure conviction. She truly did believe in him. Enough to put her life in his hands. Just like his father had before him. When he felt the car begin to slow he closed his eyes, clasped his hands and bowed his head in prayer. He prayed for strength from Amonkira and protection from Arashu, he would not fail her, that was not an option.

“You ready for this?” she asked, waiting patiently for him to finish his prayer, giving her a solemn nod to let her know he was done. “Just let me do the talking.”

“I wasn’t planning on saying anything. I prefer the dark mysterious approach.”

“You planning on being a heartbreaker tonight? Just raise that eyeridge.” She mused as he helped gather her skirt so she wouldn’t snag on anything leaving the car.

“What, like this?” he snickered raising his brow mockingly at her doing his best to give her his most smoldering look.

“You’re on a roll tonight aren’t you?” She voiced flatly making him chuckle.  “But honestly… brace yourself. My first time with the press startled me. Now they’re just a nuisance and they like to fabricate lies with their footage. Don’t take any of it seriously. Just be my shadow and don’t react to any of the questions they throw at us.”

“I understand.”

Kolyat remained close by her as they made their way to the front of the building where a large group of people stood shouting questions as people entered. A few C-Sec officers held them at bay as they ushered him and Shepard into the building but her name being yelled by multiple people made her stop to smile gently approaching a small area for questions to be answered.

“Commander Shepard, if you would answer a few questions!” One of the human women shouted in which Shepard gave them her best smile and moved closer. Kolyat staying right at her side as she motioned for him to approach with her.

“I have some time for a few questions. Please make them good, okay” She teased wrinkling her nose in fake annoyance, although Kolyat knew it was genuine.

“Commander Shepard, what are your opinions on the new Alliance Cruisers that will be revealed today? Is this a way for the Human Councilor to gain more power in the Citadel?”

“What? Don’t be ridiculous. Councilor Anderson is an honest and decent man, he would never do anything to undermine the authority of the other Council members. This is to strengthen Citadel Security. There are no underhanded intentions in wanting to protect our home. The new Cruisers were commissioned by all the Council members.”

“Then what are your opinions on the new schematics? What are the improvements?

“You want my opinion?” Shepard blinked slowly and grinned. Kolyat could see she was trying to feign innocence but he could already see it in her eyes. That small flash of mirth that she did for only a second, which indicated that she was thinking about something inappropriate.

“I think it’s an amazing thing actually.” She started, smiling sweetly towards the cameras. “Unfortunately I am not able to know exactly what is involved when the engineers design these schematics but I have always been curious. I think we should thank the higher ups who sit in front of their computers all day jerking off.”

Kolyat blinked in disbelief glancing at the crowd of reporters who started snickering and chatting amongst themselves as Shepard held up her hand and made a motion as if she was a man masturbating.

“I’m sure they would say things like “fuck yeah, you dirty little ship you. Let’s add cup holders and make them blue, that’s sexy, and then they cum all over their screens…you have to really appreciate the thought process that goes into the new blueprints. That’s hard earned tax payer money right there. Real dedication. I just hope their new weapon capacity is enough to make a girl all hot and bothered.”

Kolyat shook his head and looked away from her answer. _Did she really just say that?_ Many of the reporters were frowning, others snickering as the mixed reaction crowd flashed more pictures and yelled more questions.

“You have a history of violent missions and leaving chaos in your wake. How is your image for the Alliance justified as being a symbol of hope and peace with your reputational past?”

“That’s not true. I always go for the peaceful or diplomatic solution before I resort to violence. It’s not my fault explosions tend to happen after the peaceful negotiations fail. A specter’s main priority is completing the mission and taking out the threat by any means necessary.”

“Some say you welcome destruction.”

“Okay enough of that. What are you trying to do? Scare my date?” Shepard looked at him and winked playfully. He couldn’t stop the gentle pull of his lips as he stared back, the crowd suddenly getting even more restless as several people tried to talk at once in excitement.

 “Commander, who is your mysterious escort this evening?”

 “Is dating a drell wise as being a symbol of humanity?”

“How long have you been going out?”

“What’s his name?”

“Are you two exclusive?” He couldn’t believe the upheave that erupted from her comment. Kolyat was having trouble keeping up with the barrage of questions and flashing lights as people started staring at him making him just a little uncomfortable. _Well, at least I look good in this suit._

“You don’t know him?” Shepard asked the crowd in mock horror, glancing at him once more and then back at the flashing lights until she smiled coyly and started to turn away her eyes glittering with humor making him want to groan from her overelaborate gestures. _Gods, what is she about to say now?_

“He’s a Drell Sex God. Shame on you for not knowing that.” Kolyat blinked at her in horror. _Did she just say that to a group of reporters?_ He heard a few snickers in the crowd again and then another uproar as questions started being thrown at him now. He forced himself to keep a neutral expression and remain quiet like she instructed. 

“What’s it like for you being with a human?”

“Is the sex really that good?”

“What do you do for a living?”

“Give us your name!”

Kolyat blinked at her in uncertainty but glared at the reporters silently as she wrapped her hand around his arm and smiled sweetly waiting for him to guide her away. Without another glance, he led her into the building. Secretly enjoying the warmth of her hand over the material of his sleeve. She took a deep breath and sighed as soon as they were alone.

”You did warn me that they were vultures.” His comment was meant to ease her and he was rewarded with her light chuckle and ghost of a smile.

“Like smelling blood in the water.”

“I guess they interpreted my presence as easy prey. Your comment didn’t help much though.”

“But imagine the boost I just gave your sex life. Now hundreds of women will be lining up to get a chance with Commander Shepard’s Sex God.” Kolyat hummed in agreement although the thought made him surprisingly uncomfortable especially because of what happened to him the other night.

“I don’t really think it will do me much good now.” He stopped walking when he felt Shepard slow, allowing her hand to slip free from his arm. He turned towards her as if following her lead, waiting patiently as if he was awaiting an order.

“What do you mean by that?” Her voice was unsure, her eyes searching his gaze deeply. _Should I tell her the truth? Would she see me any differently?_ The truth that he had started to come upon after the previous night.

“I have decided that my past … exploits are no longer required. I am only going to focus on becoming a Detective. The bar scene is not really going to be on my agenda any longer. Besides…I’m getting tired of it.”

_Because I am pretty sure I have found what I really want._

Something in her eyes darkened as she regarded his words as if she was having trouble trying to understand why he had come upon this decision. He wasn’t going to tell her though. They both weren’t ready for what he wanted to say. He watched the subtle rise and fall of her chest as she came towards him, her gaze running up his body assessingly. She really had no idea how she looked at him sometimes, did she? Like she was raging an inner war within herself. Like she wanted to kiss him and slap him at the same time. He had a feeling it was the same way he looked at her sometimes.

Kolyat hitched a shallow breath and held it as her hand slowly guided itself to his cheek. The warmth of her fingertips upon his ribbing sending jolts of sensation through every nerve. Fire and perfection just in that one caress. He forced himself to stay still, not willing to fuck up and read the situation wrong again. Suddenly she smiled shyly and slapped his cheek playfully making pleasure shoot through his body. He growled softly making sure to swallow down the sexual till from erupting. _She has no fucking idea, how much she turns me on when she does that._ He just hoped his eyes didn’t give away how much he enjoyed that simple gesture.

 “Look at you acting all grown up.” She quipped walking past him now. Letting out a heavy calming breath he ran his hand down the front of his suit jacket to follow after her, hoping that he wasn’t sporting a raging hard-on.

“You act as if you’re so much older than me. Only three years Shepard. That is not a lifetime.”

“I keep forgetting I’m only twenty-five. I feel like I lived ten lifetimes.”

“I could just imagine in regards to half the stories I have heard about you, but I thought you were twenty-six? Don’t tell me you’re the type of woman who wants to lie about her age already.”

“I’m twenty-one forever. Are you trying to make me older?”

“No, it’s just…I turned twenty-three a month before the C-Sec Ball. I didn’t realize you were only two and a half years older than me.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” She eyed him curiously.

“Just an observation.”

“Wait a minute…Thane had you when he was eighteen?”

“He was seventeen when he married my mother.” He nodded in confirmation.

“No wonder he was so clueless.” She said absently, more to herself than him. If she was any other person making that comment he would have been pissed beyond compare but coming from her, a woman who knew his father so completely it made him laugh loudly in agreement.

“Maybe one day you will allow me to share some of my memories of him with you. Some of our more awkward encounters.”

“I would like that.” She smiled softly and started walking again stopping a moment to whisper over at him teasingly right before continuing on. The sparkle in her eyes making his chest tighten in deep inclination.

“I hope its memories of you “dancing crazy”, I always enjoyed those.”

Kolyat blinked in shock and budding embarrassment. The heat in his frills feeling more apparent as he faltered in his footsteps. There was no way she would know about that unless his father had shared some of his own personal memories of him with her. It now hit him even harder. She really was the only one who truly knew him.

                He slowly trailed behind her staring at the curve of her neck to the swell of her shoulders and the long expanse of her back. Staring at the cutouts in the patterns, the way her hips moved. He could feel his throat tighten again, his chest grow heavy as he studied her. He imagined what it would be like to slowly undo that dress. To slip it down her body and watch as her pale flesh became revealed inch by inch. How alien and exotic she was, so different, so… _Focus asshole! You’re supposed to be guarding her not imagining her naked._

They remained silent as he brought himself back to the moment as they walked through the halls, many which were made of glass. The corridors were open concept with not too many places to hide but he stopped a moment to run his hand over the wall. Knowing that this location was not secure depending on the thickness of the material.

“It’s bulletproof.” She spoke as if reading where his thoughts were. “Unless someone tries to go after me with a rocket launcher. We’re okay for the moment.”

“Well, it would certainly make a statement.” He answered dryly wondering how desperate her assassin would be.

“I can’t deny that. Come on were almost there. I have to pick up my speech first.”

Kolyat nodded and continued following her, now on full alert as he stayed close behind her watching everyone they approached or passed. He listened for any sounds or movements that seemed out of the ordinary until they finally reached a far office. Shepard hesitated a moment before signaling the sensor of her arrival.

“Just as before. Let me do all the talking okay.” She spoke quietly before allowing the door to open for her, entering into an extremely large office where a lone human male wearing a white suit sat. He glanced up at the sound of the open doors expectantly, but as soon as he laid eyes on them Kolyat could literally feel the atmosphere and weight in the air change to hostility. The human’s eyes narrowed scornfully as he sucked his teeth in displeasure.

“Secretary Udina.” Shepard nodded emotionlessly towards him in greeting.

“Shepard.” The man glared at her disdainfully his mouth etched in a deep frown.

“It’s been awhile.”

“Never long enough it seems.” He spat looking away from her and down at his desk dismissively. _What the hell?_

“You hurt my feelings I hope you know that.” She answered in fake upset moving towards the desk slowly.

 “You shouldn’t even be here, Shepard. The only reason you’re not rotting in a prison cell as we speak is because of your record and connections.”

“I love it when you talk dirty to me,” Shepard said almost seductively her fingers running over the slight swell of her cleavage within the tight confines of her dress. Udina’s lips pulled away from his teeth in revulsion his eyes darkening in hatred.

“You’re disgusting.”

“The more you fight me, the more you turn me on.” She smiled cruelly, taking a hand to run it down her neck tilting it slightly. Kolyat didn’t know if she meant to do that or if a human male would be turned on by a movement that was meant as more of an offering for his species. He looked away to fight a smile that threatened to break free. _She was too used to being with a Drell._  

“Just take what you came for and get out.” Udina snapped, grabbing a datapad from his desk to hold it up to her. Shepard clicked her tongue and approached him quickly, her hips swaying a little too fluidly.

“You keep up that attitude and not even the whores you pay will put up with you anymore.” Kolyat swallowed thickly at the malice in her voice, never really hearing that tone before. He imagined her eyes were nothing but a dark storm, but her back was to him as she approached the human’s desk.

Everything happened quickly after that. Kolyat saw the tip of her heel catch on the carpet and he rushed forward to grab her hand as she tumbled forward in surprise. His hand wrapped around her wrist with enough force to yank her back but her other hand shot out and hit the coffee cup upon the Humans desk. Kolyat pulled her against his body to allow her to get her footing just as the Human male jumped up in livid alarm, steaming brown liquid splashing over him and the documents on his desk. Kolyat didn’t care though, his only concern was the woman in his arms.

She pulled away with blanketed horror as both she and a cursing Udina scrambled to get papers and data pads out of the liquids path. Kolyat also moved to help when she handed him a bunch of things and dropped them haphazardly into his arms glancing at the Secretary’s white suit now stained with brown. He wanted to laugh but knew now wasn’t the appropriate time as Shepard grabbed some tissues from a box on his desk and reached out to start dabbing at his lap.

“I’m sooooo sorry.” She said a little too dramatically. Her hands extremely close to his crotch until the male let out something that resembles a snarl and slapped her hand away roughly to grab at his own handful of tissues to frantically wipe the material. His skin turned tight and red as rage boiled in his expression.  

 “Don’t touch me!” He screamed at her making her stop immediately and right herself. A blank expression on her face as she uncaringly tossed the tissues onto his desk no longer interested in helping.

 “I said I was sorry. It was an accident.”

“You did it on purpose. Just get out. Take your speech and leave.” Shepard frowned and turned from Udina but caught a slight grin spread across her lips for a brief moment when he knew Udina couldn’t see her. _Holy shit. She did do it on purpose._

She walked back towards the entrance where a long waist-high cabinet lay against the wall piled abundantly with files and data pads, a small model Alliance cruiser weighing one of the piles down and past that a small bonsai plant. Kolyat had recognized it because his father had a few in his safe house that he had looked up on the extranet while they were there. She turned to him and started taking some of the papers from his arms to place them on the table.

 “If you want you can send me the dry cleaning bill.” She spoke almost sounding apologetic.

“Oh, I intend too.” The man snarled again before dropping his hand to give up on the stain, staring at her heatedly.

“I just hope you know that one day you are going to turn around and no one is going to be there to hold your hand or catch your fall.” Kolyat and she shared a look of interest from his words.

“I don’t know. He did pretty well. Like a ninja.” She grinned towards him making his own spread across his lips in return.

“How long will it be before he turns his back on you?” Kolyat narrowed his eyes in anger and looked towards the human. His throat emitting a low annoyed growl of warning from his words. Ignoring Shepard’s hand lightly brushing his as if to calm him, he kept his gaze on Udina unwaveringly. What kind of accusation was that? He didn’t know him.

 “You are nothing but a poster child for Alliance recruitment. Don’t let anyone fool you into thinking otherwise. Everyone you have helped will turn their back on you in one way or another when you have used up your usefulness. You know what it means to be a soldier, a pawn to the Alliance. You already feel it don’t you? How they ignore your warnings about the Reapers no matter how much you try to convince them, no matter how much evidence you have. You were able to delay them and now your purpose has been fulfilled.  Eventually, you will fade into the background and they will drop you quicker than the trash. You will be a has been and there will be no one to catch you when you fall Shepard. I will personally enjoy watching that happen.”

“How dare you.” Kolyat spat darkly gritting his teeth in fury, his patience now gone by how this man was speaking to her. He could see the hardness in her eyes now, felt how her whole aura shut down before him, soulless and empty. The feeling was slight and to the human, it probably looked as if she was thinking but Kolyat could smell her rage, taste it like a spicy aroma in the air. He growled loudly now in second warning, focusing Udina’s attention right on him. The man smirked cruelly.

_Was he trying to force a rise out of them?_

He balled his hands into fists allowing his own seething rage to wash over him, teeth grinding together. He didn’t care if this man held a position with the Council, he was about to throttle him. Just as Kolyat took a step forward, Shepard held out her hand to stop him. He hesitated on the verge of appalment but calmed when a sad smile flashed across her face for him.

“Everyone’s luck eventually runs out, Shepard. Remember that.” Udina’s voiced rumbled confidently towards them when Shepard stopped him.

“Yeah, because I’m so lucky with most of the things that have happened to me in my life.” Shepard snarled in disdain her hand quickly shooting out to slap the rest of what he held out of his arms upon the floor. She turned around swiftly to push every single piece of paper, file and data pad on the cabinet to scattering across the ground and fly in every direction. She picked up the model ship, glanced at it and tossed it into the trash can before pushing the bonsai tree to shatter upon the carpet. Dirt and rocks sprawling everywhere.

“That’s very mature,” Udina spoke flatly.

“Now that was on purpose asshole…and it was like that when I got here, for the record.”

Darkness flowed over her features, her eyes turning empty and cold. The male sat down slowly adjusting some of the things on his desk, dabbing at the remaining spill.

“You’re nothing but a thug, Shepard. You know one day you won’t be able to bully your way out of a situation. I wonder what you will plan to do then.”

“That’s when I start shooting. Let’s just say you’re lucky I don’t have my gun today.”

“Well, that’s a shame…” Something in the man’s eyes flashed maliciously, his scent changing for a split second before disappearing. A gut feeling gripped his stomach like a heavyweight of realization. _It’s him. He put the hit out._ Did Shepard realize it too?

“Just leave Shepard, so I can enjoy the rest of my day.”

“People like you Udina, are the reason Humans have middle fingers…Fucking prick. Come on let's go.”  Glancing at Kolyat she tilted her head to indicate for him to follow her.

She left the office without a second glimpse; Kolyat doing his best to stay close behind her, unable to wrap his head around what had just happened. When they were far enough away he whispered to her curiously. The most interesting thing about her encounter with that Human tugging at him in worry.

“You don’t have a gun on you?” He whispered in alarm. There was no way she would ever be unarmed, would she? She stopped immediately, her sudden halt making him almost barrel into her accidentally. She blinked up at him in surprise, her eyes searching his in such deep fathomed confusion he worried if his question had thrown her off guard.

“What is it?” He asked in concern. Did she just realize something else with that Human perhaps?

“I just spilled coffee and threatened the Council Ambassador; you almost lunged forward to most likely hit him. He could have ruined your whole life and your first thought is my missing gun?”

Kolyat shifted uncomfortably in his stance as the weight of her words registered with him. If Shepard had not indicated for him to stop he most likely would have punched that Human male, one of the most powerful people on the Citadel. He could have really fucked his future. Then again, he doubted she would have let the Human male do anything to him in retaliation, but he didn’t want her to know those thoughts had entered his mind.

“I just found it…odd.”

“Odder than me causing a paper hurricane in his office?”

“No…for some reason that just seemed like a fitting action for you. A proper alternative instead of an explosion.” She smiled at him softly her ease causing his own to flow within him.

“Well … you did say the night was still young.” Kolyat scoffed in agreement until Shepard frowned and sighed heavily in anger.

“Shit, I left the speech in his office.”

“Do…you want to go back for it?” Kolyat asked in hesitation, not really wishing to go back but would if she needed the datapad.

“Fuck no!” She gasped shaking her head. “Forget it…it probably sucked anyway. I’ll think of something. Come on, I still have to make one more stop before we head to the press conference.”

Shepard huffed and sucked her teeth in annoyance as she muttered to herself. The sentences sounding like things she could say to reveal the new Cruisers he knew they were here for. She quieted when they reached another large corridor that lead to a huge double set of doors. This time she did not hesitate and walked right in.

This office was double the size of the last with large glass windows and a huge elaborate balcony on the opposite side. It was spacious and well furnished with Alliance flags, medals and a flag from Earth blanketing the furthest wall behind a huge wooden desk. The dark-skinned Human male that occupied this office was staring out the far windows, hands clasped behind him in a stance he saw well-trained soldiers use. His eyes moved towards them and unlike the last Human his mouth spread into a wide genuine cheerful smile when he saw her.

“Shepard.”

“Councilor.” She smiled back in delight. Kolyat blinked his inner eyelids rapidly in nervousness. This was the Human Councilor? He hesitated and stayed back but sensed the comfortable atmosphere when Shepard went to him and they shared a gentle hug.

“It’s good to see you, child.”

“You too. You should know I just met with my most favorite person on the Citadel.”

“I’m sure he was excited to see you.” He chuckled deeply releasing her from their slight embrace ushering her towards the balcony.

“Always. You should tell him to hire a maid though, he’s such a slob. You should have seen his office. I don’t understand how you put up with that.”

Snorting back a light grin Anderson turned towards them slightly as they followed him. His dark eyes looking over Shepard pleasantly before they moved over to him. His face gave nothing away but the deep etched lines and fathomless depths of his gaze, made him recognize the look of a man who had seen the worst. It was a look he had seen flash in Shepard’s eyes periodically.

“I would recommend that you try not to ruffle his feathers too much, he is still not happy that you chose me as the Human Councilor.” Kolyat blinked again in surprise. He did not know that she had held so much leeway with the rest of the Council to the point of choosing the one who would represent her species.

“Yeah…” Her voice trailed off as she weighed something over in her mind. He wondered if she had already figured out the same conclusion that he had come upon.

“He’ll get over it. You just need to remind me why you keep him around. I can always get that changed if you want me to.” The weight of her eyes not going unnoticed to either of them.

“Unfortunately, he has his uses. He’s the only damn person who knows how to get things done around here. I just try not to ask too much about the political backstabs.”

“Just assure me than that you give him a good, one-two when he gets out of line.”

“Not recently.” The human male chuckled, his deep-set eyes running over him in interest. “I didn’t know you would be bringing a date.”

“Well, unfortunately, your brand of tall dark and handsome was already taken, so I had to compromise.” She replied cheekily tilting her head to indicate for him to come closer. He could feel tension creep into his stomach more profoundly now. The realization that he was standing with the most powerful Human in the galaxy right before him.  

“Anderson this is Kolyat Krios. Kolyat, may I present to you the First Human Councilor David Anderson.”

“Krios?” he said in piqued curiosity as he extended his hand out in the typical human greeting. Kolyat shook his hand firmly and nodded knowing he was the real reason Kolyat wasn’t in prison.

“It is an honor to meet you Councilor. I always wondered if I would get a chance to thank you in person for sponsoring me for C-Sec. You have given me a great opportunity that I will never be able to express how thankful I am to you.”

“Glad to have been of assistance, but it is Shepard who you should be thanking. She petitioned on your behalf very passionately. I always trust her judgment. I am glad that you are doing well. My condolences for your father. He was a good man.”

“You knew my father?” He blinked slowly. His father had never told him that he knew the Councilor.

“Of course. Every time Shepard came to the Citadel, Sere Krios was in her company.”

“I did drag him around a lot.” Shepard smiled, her gaze distant. “But he never complained.” _No…why would he?_

“So…can you tell me what happened at the meeting last week?” Shepard asked expectantly her face falling in understanding when she saw the deep look of regret in the Human male’s eyes.

“I am sorry but there hasn’t been much progress in convincing the Council to reinstate your Specter status. We are going to convene again in a few weeks to discuss replenishing the N7 ranks. I want you to know I only plan on sponsoring you.” Kolyat didn’t know that she was trying to become a Specter again. He was starting to understand that her ‘retirement’ was not entirely agreed upon by both sides.

“Not Kaiden?” She asked in confusion. The question surprising both men.

“Alenko is a fine soldier but we need you on this. I trust you, Shepard.” Anderson dismissed.

“If the Council is…averse to my reinstatement, back Alenko. You can trust Kaiden. He’ll get the job done.”

Anderson glanced at her and he could see the disapproval in the man’s eyes mirroring Kolyat’s own thoughts but this wasn’t about petty grudges or personal feelings. This was war and the survival of the galaxy if the Reapers did in fact return. His father had told him troublesome stories of some of their exploits and missions regarding the Collectors and Reapers.

“Billions of innocents will die Anderson. You have to back someone. If not me, than who else can be trusted…Back Alenko.” Her gaze was distant as she crossed her arms under her elbows, her face empty as if in contemplation.

“I’ll will back you.” Anderson said sternly. “Alenko will get his Specter status, but I will voice persuasively that you are the reason we are all still alive.”

“I’m sure the other Councilor’s will like that.”

“I don’t give a shit what they like.”

“Spoken like a true military man.” She smiled but the joy did not reach her eyes. Anderson huffed and looked at his omnitool.

“It’s almost time. Take a moment to prepare. I will see you out there.”

Shepard nodded as Anderson patted Kolyats shoulder before leaving them alone. He stayed quiet as he watched her. He slowly moved towards her, settling in beside her as she stared out the balcony distantly. The lights of the Presidium starting to sparkle brighter as the day setting began changing to night, illuminating sections of darkness that loomed beyond.

They were like that for a while, until he suddenly heard a hitch in her breath as she gasped in a long steady pull of air as if she was trying to calm herself down. _The fuck?_ He watched as her eyes slowly widened, her mouth opening as if she couldn’t find her breath. Kolyat felt his own panic well in his chest as her hands started to shake as she tried to clasp them together, rubbing the skin a little too frantically. He had never seen her like this but recognized the mannerisms of a swelling panic attack. He had experienced them himself when he was a child after his mother was killed. Was this normal for her? Did she go through this regularly?

Before Kolyat thought better of it he gently touched the back of her head, his fingers covering the extremely soft tresses for the first time, but he didn’t have the opportunity to enjoy the feel of it. She stiffened from his touch but did not hesitate as he guided her body against his gently, cradling her face against his collarbone. He knew he shouldn’t be holding her like this but he couldn’t stand there and leave her to her own thoughts. Any distraction was better than none. Even if she shot, slapped or pushed him away again in cruel dismissal.

It felt like an eternity but slowly he felt her relax in his half embrace. Her heavy inhale of air as she buried her nose closer to the crook of his neck as if she was taking his scent into her. He did not crowd her and expected her to pull away but then her hands were on his chest and the pressure of her forehead against his body washed away the uncertainty of his actions.

“Kolyat…” She started almost as if she couldn’t find her voice. He heard the shaky turmoil in her throat.

“Shhhh. Just give yourself a moment to clear your mind, but know I am here with you. Just view this as one of my job descriptions if it makes you feel better. I believe in you Shepard, or else I would not be here at all.”

He wasn’t sure if what he was saying was helping or not but slowly her breaths started to calm and he felt her body relax even more against him. After a few moments, she pulled away and looked up at him, a few tears escaping her eyes. Cupping her face gently in his hands he wiped them away with the pads of his thumbs. How beautiful she is, even like this. One of her hands gently went over the back of his upon her face, green eyes shining up at him like bottomless jewels. _Don’t force it, let it feel natural_. That’s what Emily had said. Releasing her face he smiled and took a step away from her slowly.

“Feel better? Ready to face your adoring public now?”

“It’s Udina.”

Kolyat grinned at her words. “I got that impression.” She didn’t need to say anything else. He already had the sinking suspicions that the one who had placed the hit was non-other than the Councilors Secretary. How else was it possible that Feron was not able to trace it, if she assured him, he was that good at what he did.

“He can’t be touched,” she said darkly gaining her composure back.

“Even Gods can be killed Shepard. Don’t think about that right now. Let’s just get through the Unveiling. I have your back.”

She stared at him with deep etched emotion and he waited patiently until she was ready to go. He did not know exactly what kinds of things were on her mind to allow her to slip into the previous moment but he doubted the Councilors Secretary was the real demon she faced.

“Thank you,” she said eventually, glancing down in embarrassment but Kolyat refused to allow her to feel that way.

“Don’t thank me. This never happened,” he said seriously and she nodded in understanding as she turned to leave, once again with him right behind her. Kolyat was even more on alert now as he glanced around. Hesitant to even let her out of his sight for even a moment. He wondered if his father had helped her with her burdens before he passed. He wondered if his death had added to them.

Eventually, they reached a large room filled with hundreds of people and they were guided to a large stage by C-Sec officers. Some whom Kolyat recognized. He could just imagine the rumors that would circulate when he returned to the station. Shepard was ushered to the side of the stage hidden from the crowd as Anderson was speaking at the podium. Kolyat took this opportunity to glance through the audience. Looking at the catwalks and even examining some of the C-Sec officers he did not know, making sure to take everything in.

When they called her name, she walked onto the stage with him beside her in a current of applause. Her smile was bright and genuine as she waved and acknowledged a few people by name that she recognized making her way to the podium. Smiling brighter as Anderson passed them and switched places with her. Kolyat stood a little away from her to the side, his eyes roaming over all of the faces in the crowd as she started talking into the mic in greeting.

Her speech was inspirational as she talked about the strength of the Citadel and how proud she was to call it her home, how happy she was that it was a thriving community to symbolize the merging of every species in the galaxy. The curtain behind her falling to reveal a picture of a fleet of new cruisers that were going to be given to Citadel Security. The Eternity Unit they were called.

"This is just a way for the Alliance to gain more power and keep others in line." A Battarian suddenly yelled loudly towards the stage gaining the attention of many people within the room.

"Only if you've been naughty." Shepard joked with a grin making the crowd chuckle or tether in enjoyment. He had to give it to her. She knew how to work a crowd, no wonder so many were enchanted with her.

"Slander and lies." The Battarian shot back. Kolyat noticed Councilor Anderson and a few others start to move forward but Shepard held up her hand to signal for them to stand down.

“It’s okay I want to hear what he has to say” She spoke seriously her attention focused solely on him.

“They are Human vessels for Human forces, and you stand here and celebrate the genocide of our race.”

"Actually, that is where you are wrong. I am also announcing that these new cruisers are going to be the start of a collaboration between our species. I have personally served with a crew that was filled with the finest soldiers the galaxy could offer. Proof that our lives and future does not rely on a single mindset, but the views of countless experiences and mentalities.”

The Battarian blinked his eyes at her in deep animosity. Kolyat could sense the shift in his mood, hear the rumble in his sub vocals unknown by humans of rising ire. A warning that he was on the verge of hostile action. Kolyat unlatched the upper button of his suit jacket as Shepard continued to speak.

“Garrus Vakarian, Turian. Dr. Mordin Solus, Salarian. Thane Krios, Drell. Asari Justicar Samara. My pilot Jeff Moreau, Human. Tali’Zorah Vas Normandy, Quarian and of course my son…Urdnot Grunt, Krogan.” _A Krogan son?_ Kolyat glanced at Shepard in surprise for a brief moment before turning his attention back on the Battarian. Was that true? His father or she had never mentioned that. How was that even possible?

“The list can go on I assure you and any one of these individuals I would trust my life with. This isn't about petty differences. This is about the strength we find only when we are united."

"And what about the Bahak system? I notice a Battarian is not on your list. Did your trustworthy crew help you murder hundreds of thousands of innocents?"

“Actually, Battarian Strategist Specialist Bar’ath Ratik has accepted the second in command position on the Eternity 2 vessel. We all are excited to see what he will bring to this budding collaboration. Unfortunately, I did not have the pleasure of working with too many Battarians myself but I am sure this will be the beginning of a great opportunity to unite our species and blow all the stereotypes out of the metaphorical water.”

“Being the butcher of Torfan, wouldn’t give you many opportunities.”

Shepard took a moment to consider the Battarians words as she stood up tall and stared at him in unwavering resolve.

“We were at war, and I am a soldier. Both sides were doing what they were ordered to do and I can tell you on Omega I was the first one to stop the Gozu District plague and distribute the cure to Battarian civilians. I hold no animosity towards your race as a whole.”

“That does not justify your butchering with the destruction of the Alpha Relay!”

“I assure you the Alliance is doing everything they can to find out what happened.”

The Battarian snarled and Kolyat could hear the till of murder in his voice as he moved closer to Shepard to shield her if needed. He saw a few of the Turian Officers in the crowd starting to move closer signaling to their human and Asari counterparts who couldn’t hear the till as they could.

“Had it ever occurred to you that the Normandy could have been replicated by a terrorist organization and acted on its own? The Alliance and Council have released and confirmed that I was on a secret mission at the time, and the real Normandy and I were not involved in the destruction of the Alpha Relay.”

“Lies all of it! The blood of thousands is on your hands! You will pay for the Bahak system!”        

Kolyat saw that the agents were right on him as he reached into his jacket pocket at the same moment the Battarian reached into his, but Kolyat was faster. He pulled the gun from his holster and took a clear shot hitting the man right in his shoulder making him drop the gun in alarm and scream in pain. C-Sec was on him now wrestling him to the ground as people in the crowd ducked and yelled in alarm. The scene was chaos and he grabbed Shepard by the arm to guide her away noticing that her own gun was gripped firmly in her palm.

_Of course, she was ready._

She moved her hand slightly behind her dipping her gun within the folds of her skirt to hide it as he ushered her off the stage and into the safety of the building. Anderson motioning for them to get going. Glancing behind him to assess the situation within the shadows of the stage he saw the situation under control and nodded towards her holstering his gun once again.

“You stole my shot from me,” Shepard said darkly towards him, pink lips etched in a deep frown. He blinked at her slowly at the reason for her upset, she acted as if he changed the channel on her favorite show instead of shooting someone. She knew the Battarian was going to attack her.

“You’ll get the next one, promise.” He quipped.

“That’s what all the boys say.” She sighed dramatically making Kolyat grin at her as she walked past him following her through the building.

“I guess I wore out my welcome. Do you have to go back or can you escort me home?”

Kolyat tilled in pleasure knowing that she couldn’t hear him but pleased none-the-less. He nodded knowing that Bailey would expect him to stay with her and knew the distraction they had just caused would be on everyone’s agenda right now.

“I can stay with you.” He responded, the dark smile on her lips making him hold his breath from her expression.

_The way she looks at me…_

Suddenly he sensed her body grow rigid and her eyes darken as they rounded a corner into a group of five people who seemed to be waiting patiently for them. Two had microphones, another held a video recorder pod, but it was the look in their eyes that caught his attention. The subtle shift in the way they stood there as they approached. One of them smelled like blood, another like leather and the subtle scent of the wafting after smell of heat sinks. These were the bounty hunters.

“Shepard.” He whispered in warning, wrapping his hand around her to hide the gun at her side as he carefully leaned into her as if to murmur seductively towards her, hiding his movement as he grabbing the second gun at the base of his back knowing the one in his jacket would be too noticeable.

“I know,” she said plainly leaning into him accepting his gesture. A human woman took a step forward to gain their attention.

“Commander Shepard, if I may. I have a few questions in regards to the Battarian that just tried to attack you. Can we please have a statement for the public?”

“Sure I can give you a statement. Reporters don’t wear hooker boots and tramp tight pants with hidden compartments for knives. Off the record of course.”

The woman smiled viciously and whistled signaling for the rest of the entourage to drop everything they were holding and grab their hidden weapons. Kolyat pushed away from Shepard just as she unleashed her biotics shooting out an intense throw knocking everyone back allowing him to take aim and shoot one of the men in the chest. He rushed forward just as one of the Asari’s was gaining her footing and knocked the gun out of her hand and grabbed her by the throat as soon as she tried to take aim.

He heard the gunshots over his shoulder as another human male was taken down by Shepard’s bullets and turned quickly to kick another female who tried to rush at him with a knife knocking her into the wall behind him. The Asari he held kneed him in the stomach and he released her just enough to grab one of his hidden knives and spun as she tried to shoot her own biotic energy and plunged the knife into her chest. Kolyat spun around just as the human male leaped at him but Shepard took him down with a few more bullets.

The last human female took a step back her hands held up hesitantly the gun held into the air as if in surrender taking a slow step backwards into the pathway of an open corridor.

“Drop the gun,” Kolyat said sternly, aiming his own at her steadily.

“I told them we should have never taken the contract for you.” The woman bit out spitefully looking at the bodies of her fallen comrades.

“It’s too bad for you they didn’t listen,” Shepard answered ominously, her voice empty and devoid of any sympathy.

“I wish we knew that Battarian was going to attempt his own assassination attempt we could have gotten you while you were focused on him.” Something in the woman’s eyes flashed and Kolyat had the feeling she was about to attack despite her odds.

“Don’t,” Kolyat growled in warning and he gripped his gun harder, but the woman didn’t listen and as soon as she was about to, leapt to the side to take aim. Another gunshot suddenly erupted and the woman was pushed against the wall beside her. Red splattered the corridor as she fell limply to the ground, her head and hair now matted and caked in blood and open tissue. Evidence of taking a heat sink to the side of the head.

He heard the footsteps lightly approaching fast and he held his gun steady to the oncoming presence. He felt Shepard shift beside him ready for the new threat as well. Both of them easing as soon as Feron’s face peeked around the lower corner of the wall to gauge the situation. His head coming into full view and a look of relief taking the place of his serious gaze a moment prior.

“Feron. What are you doing here?” Kolyat asked in surprise but gave him a till of appreciation which Feron returned with a grin.

“Arriving thankfully not a moment too late.”

“I was wondering if you would make an appearance.” Shepard grinned at him lifting up her skirt to tuck her gun away. He wanted to laugh as he holstered his own gun. He had a feeling the holster was at her upper thigh. His attention shifted when he heard a low moan escape one of the humans who were still alive and tried to move away. Feron and he reacted fast and within a second were on the Human male, grabbing him and yanking him up against the wall. The Human grunted in pain from their roughness. Gunshots to the side and leg.

“Who is your contact?” Feron growled uncaringly pointing his gun at the man’s head as Kolyats grip adjusted as he pulled the Human male up against the wall higher. His feet dangling off the ground. He felt Shepard’s hand on his shoulder than, a silent indication to let him go. Feron quickly palmed the rest of the man’s weapons and Kolyat released him cruelly, making the man crumble to the floor in a heap. He was lucky she didn’t want him to snap his neck. He would have gladly done that in a heartbeat.

Shepard was upon him in an instant, one hand on his throat the other in the air as biotic energy swirled over her skin. The azure glow making her skin and body look enthrall with all that blue and sapphire hue.

“Tell me the name and I will let you live,” she said darkly her eyes hard and bottomless. The terrifying beauty of Commander Shepard.

“I don’t know the name.” The man sputtered blood pouring from his mouth. “The contract was encrypted and sent through…multiple channels before it…reached us.”

“He’s telling the truth, Shepard,” Feron growled in displeasure. “I couldn’t trace it either. There were too many hands changed, to many rewrites of data. This contract was sent months ago. The trail is too cold to be traced.”

Shepard sucked her teeth and stared down at the man as if trying to decide what to do with him. Yells were heard in the distance and both of their attentions went to Feron.

“Should you be here right now? If C-Sec catches you-” Kolyat started, hearing the familiar shouts of commands and Officers scurrying towards them more distinctively now.

“Trust me, I have the proper security clearance,” he said confidently. Kolyat could only nod in acceptance and turn to Shepard.

“What do you want to do with him?”

He could see the coldness in her eyes, the intent to kill clearly across her face but she only sighed and stood instead, motioning her chin towards Kolyat. He took the cue automatically and roughly pushed the guy onto his stomach jamming his knee into his back to hold him down as he started to struggle. He was securing the cuffs around his wrists just as Bailey rounded the corner followed by several Officers.

“Jesus Christ.” He cursed looking at the scene, motioning for the rest of the Officers to start doing their job and survey the area as he approached them.

“Is this all of them?” Bailey asked Kolyat as two Officers took over for him allowing him to go back to Shepard.

“No one was able to get away,” Kolyat spoke darkly glancing at Feron.

“Who is this?” Bailey asked, his eyes narrowing as he glanced at the other Drell. Feron reached into his pocket and held up an ID chip. Most likely a fabricated identity but if looked up, everything would probably match with no loopholes.

_Fuck, this guy is good._

“Feron Ferai. Hanar Special Forces. I’m a friend of Shepard’s.”

“He’s one of mine Bailey.” Shepard voiced sternly leaving no room for argument. Kolyat was relieved that Feron would at least not be taken into custody now. After a quick recount of what happened with the Bounty Hunters. Bailey sighed and touched his shoulder in content.

“You did good kid.”

Better than good. You should give him a raise.” Shepard smiled at Bailey genuinely.

“Be that as it may, I need you to come with me Kolyat. That Battarian we picked up earlier was part of a terrorist organization. I need you to run some info for me and I have a lot of paperwork with your name on it back at the station.”

“I…understand. Just give me a moment.” He nodded acceptingly knowing that there was never a shortage of paperwork to drown under at the station. When Bailey walked away he spoke gently towards Shepard.

“Are you okay for me to go? If you still need me, I don’t want to leave your side unless-”

“I’m fine Kolyat. I don’t think there will be any more attempts on my life, at least right now. Thank you…you really did well today. I appreciate it.” The look in her eyes made him hesitate, he really didn’t want to leave her.

“I’ll stay with her,” Feron spoke up approaching them slowly. Without thinking Kolyat let out an instinctual warning till of possession towards the other male but coughed and cut it off as he realized what he did, surprising even himself. He knew Shepard didn’t hear it and thankfully Feron didn’t say or indicate anything back, probably noticing his sudden embarrassment from his visceral noise.

_Shit, why did I do that?_

He swallowed roughly knowing he could do nothing but nod his approval to Feron now before making his way over to Bailey who ushered for him to follow after him. _Fuck… **why** did I do that? _ Hesitantly Kolyat glanced at the two of them one last time before rounding the corner. He looked at the patterns over Feron’s scales, the multiple hues and colors attractive to drells and most likely humans alike. He saw her eyes light up as he started to speak to her and he couldn’t stop the heavy sinking feeling from taking root in his stomach like a heavy weight of apprehension.

_Shit…this isn’t good._


	10. Chapter 10

It had been so long since she had seen him last. Standing before her in the flesh and not on the other side of a computer screen. Almost six months if she recalled right. He was tall, like most Drell, although Kolyat was the tallest, Feron’s scales were the most colorful she had ever seen. Multiple hues of dark green to light, yellows, and golds that change to reds and blues. His ribbing was blended into dark blue and disappeared beneath his black and dark red leathers. Was the rest of him dark blue, or did the patterns change again?

She walked over to him slowly. The shifting material of her abundant skirts the only sounds in the silence. He glanced at her and smiled before turning back to examine her large collection of model ships. The small replica’s sitting upon softly lighted display shelves that took up the outer wall of her kitchen area and curved around into the hallway. His hazel eyes flashed in the light, kindness, and care as he regarded her approach.

“You’re collection is quite impressive. You have a lot of rare models here.”

“It’s a guilty pleasure. I picked it up on the SR2. I needed something to do with my hands and eventually, it became a hobby.”

“I guess that was before Thane gave you things to do with your hands I take it?” he grinned devilishly, hazel eyes flashing towards her again. Shepard shook her head unable to hide her own smile. That was the beauty of Feron. No matter what he said she was comfortable with him, less guarded. He had risked his life for her without ever even meeting her or working for her. People like that who became friends were the rarest and the most loyal that could ever be found. He was also the only one who would ever mention Thane to her. Everyone else that knew him, tipped toed around the subject. Although Kolyat was starting to open up more about it, but she figured it was for a different reason. Part of him was still hurting too.

“Now that we’re alone, I wanted to ask you if everything was okay. You sounded really tense the other day.”    

“I was…but you gave me a good distraction to take my mind off things.”

“You gave me a good distraction too. I came really hard that night thinking about you.”

Feron hummed in delight as she reached him and ran her hand up his back. The smooth cool texture of the leather allowing her to glide her palm around to his waist easily and rest her forehead against his back. His hand went over the back of hers softly. She could feel the outline of the fingerless leather gloves and the cool scales of his digits gently run over the back of her hand as if he was testing the feel of her. She could feel his body relax against her, the rumble of his double tremored voice as he spoke.

“Perhaps it’s better that you picked up on it. You are the only other person I care enough about to know.”

“Know what?”

He took a deep breath and sighed turning in her hold, taking her hand on his waist to hold it lightly between them. His other slowly grasping a strand of her hair to feel it between his thumb and middle fingers, testing the texture of it. Was this the first time he had ever felt a Human’s hair? A sad smile reached his lips before his eyes sought hers once again.

“This is going to be my last mission as an Information Trader. When my business is concluded with Bailey’s family, I will no longer be an agent for the Shadow Broker…I already cleared out my belongings on Liara’s ship.”

Shepard blinked in surprise unable to contain her shock. This was so sudden. She knew she had first met Feron over two years ago when he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do. Then again she had saved him from two years of constant torture. He needed time to heal, mentally and physically, but honestly, she thought he would have just continued working for Liara. What had changed?

“You look really surprised.”

“I am…I mean, not really…I mean…wow?” Feron chuckled gently from her expression his fingertips caressing the curve of her throat to the necklace around her. She had to fight a shiver from overtaking her from his touch.

“What are you planning to do now?”

“I’m not sure yet…should I be timid and say, that all depends on you?” He cupped her chin in his hand and smiled but she could see the playfulness in his double blink and she returned his grin. He knew she had caught him in his bullshit.

“Feron,” she said his name warningly. He snickered lightly and dropped his hand from her.

“I’m really not sure but I kind of like that feeling. It feels…”

“Freeing?” She finished for him and he looked away in contemplation to nod.

“Freeing…and good. I need this.”

“Do you know if you’re going to at least stay on the Citadel for a while?”

“Do you want me to stay?”

“Don’t make this about me Feron. I won’t do that to you.”

He stared at her seriously now all pretense of jokes aside. She had always wondered if this was the real him. If the smiles and anecdotes were a façade or if they were just honest parts of his personality. She knew she was guilty of putting on the mask of Commander Shepard for the majority of her days. She just hoped that he would be honest with her, no matter what she might have wished for or wanted to possibly happen between them. She cared about him too much as a friend, she would kill for him, and she would die for him too.

“I care about you…” He started.

“I know Feron,” she said gently, watching as he swallowed roughly to glance away.

“…But I need to take some time to myself. Be alone for a little while. Travel. See things…I spent two years of my life strapped to that chair…and then I stayed with Liara out of loyalty.”

“You sound almost resentful. You wanted to help your friend. There was nothing wrong with that.”

Feron took a deep breath and steadily met her gaze, deep red hues revealing themselves under his dark blue ribbing, a quick double flick of his inner eyelids. If she hadn’t spent so much time learning every one of Thane’s gestures she would have never guessed that he was trying to hide his thoughts from her. She had too much experience already from being with the most guarded man in the galaxy.

“I gave you the wrong idea. When it became time, I sacrificed myself so Liara could escape with you. I knew no matter what, I couldn’t allow you to fall into Collector hands. I accepted my fate, my death. Even after…”

Shepard placed her hand on his chest, her fingers brushing against the warm dull metal of his Hikari. The movement making him focus on her enough to avoid solipsism.

“I should have accepted working for Cerberus when I had the chance. I could have been at your side when-”

“Don’t think about that. You’re here…and I’m alive because of you. There’s no use thinking about what could have been.” Her hand was on his ribbing now, caressing the delicate dark blue folds. Her fingers moved down his throat, knowing exactly what kind of pressure and where to touch that would feel good for him. He sighed and closed his eyes a soft growl releasing from his throat willingly.

“I needed time to heal … work distracted me. I enjoyed your visits…it gave me something to look forward to and focus on until things became easier. Besides, Liara needed time to adjust to her new positon and I knew all the ins and outs of the Brokers work. I was obligated to help her. I owed it to Liara…I will never stop owing her; owing you for what you did to save me.”

“You don’t owe me anything Feron. That’s not what friendship is about.” Feron sighed and looked away one of his hands dropping down to the curve of her waist.

“It’s hard to see that from where I am now. The lines are too muddled. Everyone wants something Shepard. Secrets, lies, betrayals, just everyday events which I am no stranger to myself…I’m tired of it…all of it. I just…”

“I understand.” And she did…she truly did. Knew exactly what it felt like to feel as if you just couldn’t take anymore. Almost as if you wanted to give up. Like the world was surrounding you in darkness and all you could do was drown in the abyss, no matter how much you tried to fight against the current.

“You’re right. Everyone always wants something. No one is safe from desire. It’s always there and if anyone ever says differently, they’re lying.” Something in his expression changed as his rosy lips spread into a roguish grin. His eyes dilating in bright shades of olive swirled with golden specks.

“Well, I’m definitely guilty of that right now.”

Shepard smiled almost shyly at the prospect of being with him and how calm he was making her. Feron caressed her cheek, a feather-light sweep of scales across her jaw. She met his eyes and turned slightly to kiss the tip of his fused finger watching as the devilish grin changed into a gentle smile before she took a step away from him.

“Do you want a drink?” She asked stepping back slowly, her fingers trailing over his until they weren’t able to touch any longer. Her fingers still reaching for him flirtingly. She gave him a coy smile in hopes of letting him know that she wanted him to follow her.

“I could use one.”

“I don’t have any Sha’kir but I have a white wine that is similar.” She spoke over her shoulder as she made her way to the bar, turning over two wine glasses and grabbing a bottle in the back before pouring them both a half a glass. She picked them up and turned only to gasp and jump in alarm when Feron was right behind her smiling down at her.

“You know I use to threaten Thane about putting a bell around his neck so I would hear him.” She said heatedly, a light chuckle erupting from his throat.

“Forgive me. I thought you heard me.”

His tone was light as he stared into her eyes thoughtfully, the different hues captivating her as they shimmered in the artificial moonlight. Slowly he grabbed both glasses from her hands and placed them back upon the bar before trailing his hand up her arm. The feel of his skin against hers forcing goosebumps to pucker against her flesh in anticipation.

“How long has it been since you’ve taken someone to your bed?”

“No one since Thane.” She said a little too breathily watching his face take on serious reflection.

“I’ll be gentle then.”

“I’m not going to break Feron. Besides you were incredible the other night when I thought about you.

“And I you, but now you have me nervous. If I don’t meet your expectations I can’t blame it on an awkward interspecies relationship because you are familiar with Drell’s.”

“Don’t worry. I promise I only kept you on your knees stroking yourself.”

Feron growled in excitement now, his hands wrapping around her waist as he pulled her against him. She heard the sharp intake of breath as he smelled her deeply. A purr of contentment leaving his lips.

“You know, I always wanted to ask if that was a drell thing.”

“If what was a drell thing?” He murmured against her throat, his lips trailing a path over the curve as his hand skimmed up the back of her neck to bury his fingers in her loosely tied hair.

“Smelling someone’s neck. Thane did that.” _And Kolyat did it too._ “Since you just did it, I’m starting to think it might be an instinct thing?” She heard Feron chuckle deeply, his soft double tremored voice vibrating underneath her hands on his chest. His own increasing the pressure over her neckline to give him better access to her throat.

“You wouldn’t eat something that didn’t smell appetizing would you?” He kissed her collarbone, trailing kiss after feather light kiss along the line of her neck. Her breath catching in her throat just as he reached her ear. His lips brushing over it gently as he whispered.

“I don’t have to tell you that our necks are one of our most sensitive areas, but Drell’s produce an aroma when aroused. It lets us know through smell if they are a good match. I would never put my lips on something that didn’t entice me.”

Feron bit her neck and licked her then. The Drell gesture to let her know that he accepted her as an intimate partner. She could feel her stomach growing tight, her own hands trailing up his chest beneath his jacket, feeling the holster for his guns, her fingers brushing over the hilt of a knife.

“Do I smell good then?” She asked huskily turning her face towards him to meet his eyes, the light green hue of his irises flashing silver for a moment in the light. He grinned at her wickedly, his hand dipping to the curve of her lower back.

“Good enough to eat.”

His lips found hers and she tilted her head back willingly to allow him to deepen the kiss if he desired. He took his time, exploring the curve of her mouth, his leather smooth lips warm and perfectly full against hers. He explored the pressure and strength of her mouth, the movements, and dips of her lips until their kisses turned frantic and more passionate.

She felt his fingers tangle in her hair more completely now, the edges of his fingerless gloves gliding over her tresses, his digits massaging her scalp until he bunched it beneath his palm and tugged roughly almost to the point of pain. A moan escaped her mouth from his roughness but not undesired as the angle allowed him to brush his tongue heavily against hers.

He pushed in deeply, the course texture familiar yet new, the taste of him different than anything she had experienced before. _I guess all the men have different tastes too._ Unlike Thane or Kolyat, Feron had a gentle sweetness to him, a delicate yet heady tanginess to his tongue that was pleasing yet alien. She heard his guttural till of approval as he wrapped both his arms harder around her and held her flush against his body, feeling the weight of his arousal brush against her.

“You smell incredible…and the taste of your skin…” He pulled away and bent down to lick her neck again more fully. The large flat span of his tongue and the rough texture sending waves of need to course through her veins. She knew it was going to be good with him, she knew she needed this to get her mind off of other things…of another Drell. He bit her again a little harder this time and the shock of pleasure made her gasp against his touch.

Kolyat’s face suddenly flashed in her mind and she hesitated at the intensity of it. ‘ _I know I pushed you when you weren’t ready. I understand…I need to take things slower with you.’_ What the hell did he mean by that? Was it possible that he was actually being serious with her? Did he genuinely want something between them? ‘ _Just give yourself a moment to clear your mind, but know I am here with you… I believe in you Shepard, or else I would not be here at all.’_ She didn’t know how to react to him at the time, his care so unexpected.  

She knew her panic attacks were starting to get worse, slipping into her daily life more often. She was barely able to get a decent night’s sleep anymore without waking up in terror. She didn’t even know what triggered it, perhaps the thought of being unable to do anything when the reapers came. The thought of being forced into inaction when she knew she had the resolve to see the fight through. Suddenly the horizon started to burn in her vision, thoughts of the Citadel destroyed and crumbling, bodies littering the streets had taken over her mind and suddenly she was unable to move. She had been lost for a moment, even forgetting that Kolyat was right beside her.

She had felt something touch her in the midst of being lost, and she had frozen ready to grab her gun from its holster in alarm but the scent had pulled her through. A pungent, woodsy yet spiced scent upon the air. When Kolyat guided her against him it was the warmth of his body and the smell of his skin that slowly brought her back to herself. Did he even realize that his scent had changed in that moment?

It had happened to Thane on occasion too. The first, when she had a moment of utter despair. The time when she had returned from gathering the dog tags of her fallen companions upon the SR1. When he held her, his scent turned dark and spicy, which she later found out from Mordin was a scent mark of protection. An instinctual subconscious aroma that Drells produced when they were drawn to another and were willing to defend someone until death, and it usually only happened when they wanted to bind themselves to the other. _Holy shit…is that what was happening with Kolyat? No…they shouldn’t…but…_

Another low growl from Feron’s throat brought her back to herself and the task at hand. Forcing her uneasy thoughts of Kolyat away she pushed on Feron’s shoulders gently, who obliged immediately and pulled away. She could see it in his eyes now, the sudden thought that she had changed her mind and wanted to stop.

Shepard smiled at him in reassurance kissing his lips chastely as she guided him back towards the sitting area. When the back of his legs touched the couch she pushed him down roughly leaving him to stare up at her expectantly, his eyes running over her in eagerness. The double flicked of his inner eyelids the only indication of his slight hesitation. He was one of the last people she ever wanted to make feel unwanted.

Ever so slowly she undid the pins in her hair, letting it fall and cascade around her shoulders haphazardly before reaching for the lace straps of her dress pushing it from her shoulders. Carefully she peeled the tight material of her dress down, the darkness of his ebony depths devouring his irises as he watched her skin slowly reveal itself with bottomless hunger. The look of desire in his gaze made her shiver as she pooled the fabric down her torso and past her legs to lay in a heap upon the floor. Unhooking the leather harness she pulled the gun free from the confines of her upper thigh placing them both upon the pile of her dress until she stood in nothing but her high heels and sapphire lace bra with matching thong.

“Do you at least like what you see?” She asked confidently watching as he swallowed roughly, his throat vibrating a sound she couldn’t hear but knew it was a sound of arousal.

“Very much so.” He answered with guttural delight.

She grinned and straddled him quickly, one hand caressing his frills, the other wrapping around his neck to lightly scratch the ridges at the back of his head, knowing that both spots touched together would make him lose himself. She kissed him deeply, feeling the groans of satisfaction rumble against her tongue. That sweet taste filling her mouth. Would his venom taste the same?

“I am not going to lie. I made sure to do some research and watch a few vids before coming to see you. I wanted to make sure I gave you pleasure. Just in case this scenario presented itself.” Feron pulled on the straps of her bra, his lips pulling away to follow the trail of lace falling upon her shoulder.

“Just a few?” She teased, grinding her hips against his incredibly hardened erection, releasing a soft pleasurable growl from his lips. 

“Okay…more than a few.” He admitted in embarrassment, the blue ribbing of his neck taking on a slight red hue beneath.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed. I’m happy that you want to please me. Did you learn anything educational?” Shepard tilted his head to look up at her. Her nails scraping down the back of his ridges making him shudder once more in yearning. She felt his fingertips gliding over the edges of the material for her bra, slowly peeling it down to reveal a breast. His eyes were on hers as she watched him lick his lips in eagerness.

“I learned that your breasts are more sensitive than an Asari’s and you did say that you would like it when they’re touched.” He cupped his hand over the naked mound of her breast, exploring the weight and feel of it. His forefinger and thumb teasing her nipple as he rolled it gently between his fingers, testing the pressure and her reactions.

Shepard sighed and moaned quietly, his lips going back to her neck to nip at her skin, trailing down slowly to the swell of her and to the hardened peak that begged for his attention. She arched her back, silently encouraging his touch as he increased the pressure of his tongue, lapping at her languidly, pulling the small puckered flesh into his mouth to swirl his tongue and suck her gently. He acted as if he had all the time in the universe, torturing her deliberately before moving on to her other breast. Eventually, his hands skimmed over her back to the material of the bra, unhooking it and letting it fall from her body. _He did say he had been with Asari’s, the man can work a bra that’s for sure._

“Your skin feels incredible, I’ve never touched anything so soft…so warm…and your mouth-“

He sank a hand into her hair again pulling her lips back down to his, claiming her mouth once more. She kissed him hard, dipping her hand between them to caress and palm the strain beneath his leathers. She could feel the heat and thick weight of him waiting for her right below the smooth texture of his pants.

Feron moaned into her, deep sounds of approval urging her on. Shifting on his lap she increased the pressure and ground her hips against his roughly, forcing him to pull away and hiss in delight. Shepard took that opportunity to nip and lick his neck, her tongue teasing and running over the dark blue folds and ribbing, knowing exactly which areas were more sensitive than the rest. His breathing picked up speed as his hands dropped down her sides and hips to the swell of her ass, grabbing it in his large hands.

His tender flesh began engorging under her administrations, a low till rising when he tilted his head back to allow her more access, instincts taking over. Her hands trailed down his chest over the buckles and straps, her fingers dipping below the hem of his shirt pulling it up to touch the hard muscles of his stomach, the smooth leathery skin beneath.

“I’m starting to feel as if you’re overdressed.” She chided licking him one more time, already starting to see a difference in her vision as his venom started to make its way through her system.

“You still have on better shoes than me. That has to count for something.”

“I can leave them on if you want.” She smirked kissing him, biting his bottom lip gently and giving it a light lick.

“Fuck…” He moaned shuddering as she ground her hips against him once again. “Tell me where your room is.”

“Down the hall, second door on the right.”

Feron growled louder in excitement, altering his hold on her as he lifted her up and stood effortlessly, adjusting her legs around his waist more securely. She still couldn’t get over how strong Drells were. He held her with no strain, his lips touching hers roughly as he walked through the apartment and down the hall. Once he found the master bedroom he quickly moved towards the far end and deposited her in front of the floor to ceiling glass doors and windows of her balcony. Giving her a look of deep longing he licked his lips and backed away, allowing his eyes a chance to roam over her body.

“Are you just planning to stare at me?” She grinned cheekily crossing her arms below her breasts haughtily making him grin back at her with wicked delight.

“Hell no…take off your underwear and give me a moment. I want to see you.” She smirked once again willing to give into his demand and hooked her thumbs over the thin material at her sides and slowly down her hips. She met his eyes, sluggishly guiding the lace down her legs before kicking it away. Staring at him in half hooded desire, her fingers dancing almost teasingly over her skin beckoning him to touch her.

“Do you want me to take off my heels?”

“Keep them on for now.” He swallowed roughly releasing a heavy breath. The green of his eyes vibrant enough to see in the darkness of the room. She was pleased with how turned on he was by her. She knew by the way he was looking at her, that he was taking everything in for later use. She was going to make sure he really enjoyed that solipsism.

“I showed you mine, now show me yours. You don’t have to leave on your boots.”

Feron chuckled throatily and licked his lips again, quickly yanking off his jacket to toss it onto a chair beside him. He was quick as he removed his weapons, unlatching the buckles of his vest, peeling his shirt over his head and kicking off his boots. He watched her expression intensely as his hands made their way to the buckles of his pants.

She stared at his skin, her eyes wandering from the dark blue of his chest that gave way to a vast spread of vibrant colors and patterns of stripes across his stomach and hips. He dropped his pants to the floor freeing himself, his member reaching for her eagerly. The dark blue frills on the bottom of his shaft already engorged and ready. She could see the shimmer of his natural lubrication coating him, more than prepared to take her.

“Gods Shepard, do you realize how beautiful you are? How many would kill to get a chance with you? How many would gladly get on their knees?”

“Are you one of them?” She asked unable to breathe, her voice deep and heady, almost unrecognizable. He smiled at her wickedly, running a hand over his hardened erection enjoying her reaction as she watched him. He stroked himself slowly, his fingerless leather gloves gliding over the thick colorful ridges, his scales shimmering in rainbow hues as he moved. _God, all those colors. How beautiful._

“Feron…” She moaned wanting to touch him, his expression changing in intensity when he saw how much she desired him, smelling the air before him. Did her scent suddenly change?

“Don’t worry Shep. I’m about to be.” His voice rumbled darkly. Making his way over to her in three quick strides he dropped to his knees before her. Without hesitation he grabbed her leg and hoisted it over his shoulder, making her lean back on the glass of the window. The cool surface shocking against her heated flesh making her gasp.  

His mouth was on her then, his fingers spreading her as his tongue immediately dipped within the cavern of her heat. The coarse texture of his tongue brushing over her clit making her arch her back and moan in ecstasy. _I guess he really did do his homework._ Feron lapped at her hungrily his till of approval vibrating in his throat, sending pleasurable tremors throughout her body. She lost herself to the pleasure, starting to move her hips to his strokes, urging him on, and he was happy to oblige.

All too soon she could feel the pressure building in her lower stomach, her body quivering as her release was starting to form within her grasp. His venom completely overtaking her, making her want to beg him for anything he could give her now.

“Feron…Feron, I’m getting close.” She whispered almost pleading with him not to stop but wanting to know what it would feel like with him inside her. He pulled his lips away and stared up at her with a wide grin, licking the tender flesh of her inner thigh as he moved.

“I couldn’t stop myself. I don’t think the vids prepared me for how good you would taste.”

He stood up fluidly, keeping her leg hoisted in his grasp to wrap around his waist. Her hands automatically going to his shoulders to steady herself. His tall lean stature already making her struggle, forcing her to the edges of her tippy toes. _I see why he wanted me to keep on the heels._

He grasped himself in his hand, rubbing the sensitive frilled head against her entrance preparing them both for his intrusion. The silky lubrication of his member gliding easily against her overly moistened heat. Her breath hitched in her throat from anticipation as the large tip of him pushed past her outer folds slowly. His eyes were scorching as he studied her expression, torturously moving one ridge at a time until he was almost completely buried inside her.

Feron closed his eyes for a moment puffing his cheeks as if to calm himself as his breathing changed in intensity. Adjusting his hold on her more comfortably, he pulled himself out slightly testing the feel of her before pushing back in with moderation. A soft groan leaving his lips as his eyes met hers once again.

“Gods…you feel amazing.” He shuddered, taking one more deep breath before his gaze changed into consideration. “Now tell me…do you want it hard…soft…or somewhere in between?”

Shepard smiled and kissed his lips, her tongue caressing his teasingly before she bit his bottom lip and trailed herself across his cheeks and neck. Shifting her own weight in his grasp, she pulled her other leg up and wrapped it around him tightly, making him adjust his hold again and wedge her between himself and the glass. Feron’s movement made him plunge inside her deeply, forcing a loud moan to escape both of them as he brought one of his hands up to rest on the window as if to steady himself. His expression now strained as he fought against the overwhelming sensation.

 “Holy shit. I didn’t know Humans felt this good.”

“You feel amazing too, but I thought you said I was supposed to enjoy the ride?” She smirked cheekily, kissing him once more. Her tongue sought his and he opened for her willingly, his till loud and full of need, letting her taste herself completely in his mouth. The thought of it urging her towards the point of frenzy, pulling him closer to her but frustrated that she could not control anything from this position. As if sensing her irritation Feron mumbled into her mouth between kisses.

“Don’t worry. Let me take care of you.”

He surged himself into her then, starting a steady rhythm that began turning her into a mess of sensation and pleasure, all coherent thoughts leaving her. The feeling of him inside her, so good and exactly what she needed. His mouth was on her throat now, licking and nipping her as her fingers wrapped around the back of his neck and head, teasing the sensitive skin beneath his head fringe feeling the soft leathery skin beneath her palms. She had almost forgotten how good being with a Drell felt. The strength of their bodies, the texture of their skin, their smells. _Would Kolyat feel this good too?_

Shepard gasped in alarm her eyes flying open as she pushed her head back against the glass, her reaction alarming Feron for a moment.

“Are you okay?” He asked in worry, the sincerity in his eyes making her chest swell in regret for suddenly thinking about Kolyat while she was with him.

“I’m good. You just hit a spot that was overwhelming.” Smiling gently she kissed him again doing her best to assure him that she was okay and it was nothing that he did. 

“Don’t stop Feron. You have no idea how incredible you feel. I want to know what you sound like when you cum inside me.”

“Sweet Arashu.” He breathed in awe his lips going back to hers as she felt his hand slip between them. His thumb finding the bundle of nerves rubbing it gently. Shepard jerked in pleasure from the sensation, moaning incoherently as her breaths picked up speed as he continued moving within her.

“There we go. That’s what I want to hear.” He smirked, caressing her a little harder as his movements picked up speed, making her bite her lip as she whimpered in ecstasy forcing her to the edge.

“More, almost there.” She begged him as he rotated his hips and pumped into her more jaggedly. The angle brushing that spot inside her that made her see white as her body lost itself and she fell into the current. She gasped and cried out her orgasm, her whole body tightening and spasming as wave after wave poured over her and around Feron. She heard him curse, grunt and hesitate as the torrents wracked her brain not wishing for him to falter in this moment.

“Don’t stop, please don’t stop. Cum for me Feron.”

He caught himself as his grip on her tightened and he plunged into her a few more times, the till of his edge vibrating in his throat until he was gasping and shuddering, groaning his release. He kissed her deeply, his tongue sweeping against hers in dominant claim. His hand moving up between them to caress her stomach and knead her breast until his own waves subsided. Eventually, he moved his mouth away from hers and rested his forehead in the crook of her neck, kissing her pulse lightly. His hot breaths sending new goosebumps to pucker over her cooling flesh.

“Sorry, I didn’t expect that.”

“What? How hard you made me cum? I promise it was much better than what I imagined.” She smirked, being rewarded with a delighted hum as Feron kissed her gently. A soft sweep of lips and contentment. “Did you at least enjoy it?”

Feron looked at her and smiled as she felt him jump inside her, letting her know how hard and ready he still was for her. She laughed softly as he adjusted his hold and carried her to the bed, trailing feather-light kisses over her lips and cheeks. He placed her down on the soft sheets, his hands roaming over her body and down her legs, removing the heels from her feet. Sitting up on her elbows she stared at the vast array of colors and hues over his skin, too many to even decipher.

Adjusting herself upon the bed she moved to allow him enough room to slide over her, covering her body with his. Feron stared down at her in delight, one of his hands running through her hair while his mouth moved over her neck and chest sucking on her skin.

“I am not sure if Humans are able to continue, or if you need time to rest.” He murmured, sucking a nipple into his mouth, his coarse tongue circling her budded peak, his hands trailing over her hips and stomach. Shepard sighed into his touch, her body responding to him willingly once again.

“Some humans aren’t, but I’m good for a few more rounds. The perks of being with a Drell before.” Feron made a pleasurable sound against her skin, nipping at the nub of nerves hungrily. She felt him shift between her legs, his hands wrapping around the tender flesh of her thighs to spread her.

He pulled away to look down at her, his hazel gaze sweeping over her body, gentle happiness and male satisfaction blazing against her as he drank her in with his gaze. Shepard caressed the frills on his cheek, her fingertips stroking the lines of the ribbing allowing another shiver to pass over him. He turned his head groaning from her touch, giving himself a moment of bliss before his dark eyes met hers again in wicked burning.

“Let’s make this a night we both remember, shall we?” He chuckled and slowly entered her once more.

 

* * *

 

It was a few hours later and she laid their quietly resting her head on Feron’s arm. His body laying against the line of hers, his fingers softly trailing over her side and hips attentively back and forth.

“I think I was better prepared the second time.” He kissed her shoulder and she giggled throatily, her voice a little hoarse. Feron’s own was deeper and rumbled as he spoke.

“You did well the third time too.”

“And the fourth I imagine.” He kissed her shoulder once more resting his cheek on her arm, his hand gently wrapping around her stomach to rest on her skin his fingertips caressing her flesh soothingly.

“Can I ask you something?”

“I think we are past the point of shyness.” Feron chided, which she agreed upon with her own quiet chuckle.

“How is it when Drell females orgasm? Is it different?”

“I hate to admit it but I think you might have just ruined me into taking another female of my species.”

“Don’t say that.” She slapped the top of his hand playfully as he laughed. Still wondering why he never took his gloves off.

“The reason I hesitated the first time was because when our females reach their peak their bodies send out a vibration that force our orgasm from us, even if we are not ready.”

“That sounds…painful.” Shepard grimaced trying to picture how it might feel if she wasn’t enjoying herself and was forced to cum without pleasure.

“It can be if the female does not care about the male finding pleasure and only release…when you reached your pinnacle I was expecting the same.”

“But you came shortly after.”

“That’s because I was already in full enjoyment. I liked that I was able to find my release at my pace, but when your body clamped down on me urging me to finish, all that heat and moisture beckoning me to completion, and your scent…I think I like with your species that it is a joint effort. It’s not only about the male pleasing the female but vice versa.”

“You make it sound like your females are tyrants.” She said dryly making him chuckle in amusement.

“Not at all. Many females are not so cruel to have the male give pleasure without receiving, but I’m sure that applies to your species as well. With Humans at least, I think it would be much harsher now that I think about it.”

“Actually it goes with the men. Human men don’t have as many erogenous zones as Drells and it is extremely more likely that the man will reach orgasm before the woman and not be able to finish her.”

“Maybe that is why you prefer Drells? You seemed to thoroughly enjoy it.” She slapped him again lightheartedly turning on her back to look up at him. Her hand trailing over his shoulder caressing the smooth dark scales, seeing scars she didn’t notice before as her vision started clearing from the potency of his venom.

“I’m a little surprised you never asked these questions before when you were with Thane.”

“I was curious but it never crossed my mind enough to ask. I just wanted to enjoy the time we had together.”

“But you were with a Human before him. Did he not bring you pleasure?”

“Why do I have the feeling there is nothing about me that you don’t already know.” Her voice dripped suspiciously. Feron purred and kissed her neck again pulling her against him firmly as his hand brushed against her nipple squeezing her breast in his hand.

“I wonder now.” He hummed against her, giving her a long steady lick before pulling away to grin down at her, another shiver of need running over her.

“I didn’t know the sounds that you would make when you came. How your body would feel squeezing mine…the taste of your tongue.” She gasped from the seriousness of his stare, kissing her deeply before pulling away again.

“You’re not fair.”

“Agents of the Shadow Broker never are.”

“But you won’t be one much longer.” Feron ran his fingertips gently between her breasts making small circles over her ribs and stomach. His gaze was far away as if deep in thought. “Are you going to regret it?”

“No.” He said immediately without thought. “I have already made my decision. The money was good, even better with Liara, and there was little risk but…”

“But?”

Shepard sat up and trailed her fingers over his throat, guiding his gaze up towards her patiently. His face seemed so haunted and full of pain. She wished there was something she could do to chase his ghosts away. Heavens knew she had plenty of her own to contend with.

“I don’t like who I became.” He said seriously.

“So change.”

“It’s not easy.” Feron scoffed rubbing his hand over his head ridges sighing heavily as he guided himself up to sit with her.

“No one said it was. You just have to have the will to see it through. But you should know…even if you didn’t like who you were….if you weren’t, then I would still be dead, or in the hands of the Collectors. I will forever be grateful to you ** _._** ”

“And Liara.” He said halfheartedly.

“ ** _You._** ” She insisted grabbing his chin to look at her before she let go. Feron smiled sadly and looked away again, his hand grasping hers lightly in his as his thoughts overtook him again. His fingertips skittering across the inside of her open hands to feel the smooth scales glide over her soft skin.

“I guess if I’m going to keep a single friend, it’s only fitting that I choose the strongest woman in the galaxy and the vast network of resources at her disposal.”

“A single friend? Did something happen between you and Liara?” Feron sighed again almost guiltily.

“We…had a fight. I don’t really want to talk about it right now. It’ll be a mood killer.” He smiled thinly.

Shepard nodded in understanding even though a thousand questions surfaced in her mind. What did they fight about? Was she mad he was leaving? Was it the reason he was leaving? Oh shit, was it about her? Did Liara see the striptease on a stolen transmission and get pissed? Fuck…she had asked Feron how he felt about Liara but she had forgotten to ask Liara how she felt about him. _Stop being so full of yourself, it can’t possibly be about you. It has to be a different reason._

“Come back to me Shepard.” Feron murmured brushing her hair off her shoulder to cup her cheek in his hand.

“Sorry. I’m not going to lie, I’m curious, but I respect your privacy.”

“I’ll tell you at another time, just not right now.”  His eyes were kind and full of warmth but distant and sorrowful. Did he even realize how he looked? Was he lonely?

“Well, what about Kolyat?” She asked quietly. _Why did you suddenly bring him into this?_ Feron’s attention snapped back to hers completely, a wide grin spreading across his lips as he tilted his head to the side thoughtfully.

“What about Kolyat?”

“Well…you said you want to start over, right? I mean the two of you could-”

“He is very attractive but I don’t think he’s interested in ** _me_**.”

“That’s not what I meant.” She stated flatly. “It just seemed like the two of you were hitting it off. If you’re trying to start a new life with new friends. I would recommend Kolyat. He’s still trying to start over too.” She had a feeling that the two of them could really become close if they gave it a shot.

“We’ve spoken briefly a few times since you’ve introduced us…but I have a feeling that might change now.”

“How come?” She asked in confusion. Feron’s expression darkened as he studied her face, searching her expression for something that she wasn’t quite sure what it was, until he sighed and shook his head.

“You really don’t see it do you? You didn’t hear his till?

“Till? Did he do a subharmonic thing I couldn’t hear?” She asked trying to search her memory for anything in his behavior that seemed off.

“Quite blatantly in fact, right before he left. I think he surprised himself though and cut it off when he realized what he did.” Shepard thought about Kolyat as he was leaving. He had asked her if she needed him to stay and then she heard him cough and…his frills darkened. _Shit, he had been embarrassed._

“I didn’t let it stop me though. Especially when you invited me home with you.”

“What? What kind of till was it?” She asked in hesitation, her throat suddenly feeling dry as a sinking feeling took root in her stomach. She had a general idea of what sound he could have made.

“It was a till of possession. A warning. Basically not to touch you. Kolyat wants you Shepard.”

“Shit…” She breathed out slowly, even though she had a feeling she already knew that. The thought caused her chest to swell in indecision.  _You already knew he wanted you. Why are you so shocked?_ Fuck, what was she supposed to do now?

“Do you want him?”

“What?” She snapped her gaze back to his in horrific shock. “I can’t believe you’re asking me that after we just slept together.”

She was furious now, pulling out of his hold and sliding off the bed to go towards her closet. Grabbing a black silk robe, she threw it over her arms and fastened it before walking back to him. I guess there night was completely fucked now. What kind of woman did he think she was? Fuck one guy and move onto the next? Okay, that had happened a few times in her younger Alliance years but come on, this was Kolyat! Thane’s son. Did he not even consider the thought of consequences, or what it might mean? What the fuck!

‘ _Nothing like the thought of death to spread your legs for the next man.’_

Shepard faltered in her footsteps her breath catching in her throat as the first wave of panic took her over. _‘Would you have chosen differently?’_ No, she couldn’t lose herself right now. She didn’t want anyone to see her like that. Only Thane had…she took a deep breath to calm herself, watching Feron adjust his posture on the bed to see her better. His hazel eyes shining in understanding.

“Shepard…I told you this would only be as weird as we make it. I am comfortable with you and I have always been honest.” Shepard quirked an eyebrow in opposition as she came back towards the bed making Feron chuckle in surrender.

“At least with you…If you want what happened tonight to happen again, or if you want something more…I am willing, if you are. I care for you, but I don’t have much experience with this sort of thing…and it’s not fair to ask you to wait for me. If you and Kolyat-”

“Don’t finish that sentence.” She snapped making Feron frown in budding irritation.

“Just by your reaction, you’re confirming my earlier suspicions. You want him too.”

“Fuck your suspicions. There’s nothing going on with me and Kolyat.” She huffed sitting it the chair by her bed to stare at him heatedly.

“You’re fighting it then.”

“What the fuck Feron!” She yelled loudly, anger taking over her.

“It’s his son! I can’t do that. Even if I wanted to! Even if I’ve thought about it, I…” She hesitated and looked down horrified by what she just said.

_He could never understand the darkness inside of me. It’s not fair to him. He’ll use you, like everyone else, and then there will be nothing left. Women are play things to him._

“So you admit it.”

“No! I-”

“Shepard be honest with yourself!” He yelled back at her making her hesitate. It was the first time she had ever heard him raise his voice. “You above all these ungrateful fucking people in this galaxy deserve some shred of happiness.” His voice was vicious now, eyes narrowed in fierce displeasure. She sighed and looked down at her lap.

“He’s not serious. He sees himself as Thane’s replacement.” She said hollowly, her voice barely above a whisper as she looked away unable to meet his eyes.

“Why would you think that?” His voice trailed off and she heard shifting upon the bed. His warm hands moved over hers as he knelt before her now, his sharp gaze surveying hers in deep unabated worry. He really did care for her.

“Talk to me, Shepard. I’m here for you. If nothing else, I will always remain your friend.”

She looked up at him and sighed slowly unsure if she should say anything or not. She cared about Feron too. She really liked him and honestly she wouldn’t have minded trying something together with him. That’s why she had agreed when he had voiced his interest, but Kolyat…she couldn’t understand why she kept thinking about him.  

“The night I switched off information for Liara at the C-Sec Ball, I ran into Kolyat…and my ex. We got into a fight and Kolyat pretended to be Thane because Kaiden still heard that I was with a Drell. After, we were started talking and catching up, he offered to take me home because I drank too much. One thing lead to another and we started kissing and…” ‘ _If you want, you can pretend I’m him.’_

“Did you sleep with him?” Feron asked gently is eyes holding no judgement or jealousy.

“No. He accused me of thinking about Thane. He thought the only reason I reacted to him was because he reminded me of him and their connection.”

 “Is that true?” Taking a steady draw of breath she sighed and finally met his eyes again.

“No...For the first time in a long time, I actually didn’t even think about Thane until he said something.” Feron nodded in understanding his expression thoughtful.

“Would you have slept with him if he didn’t say what he said?”

“I don’t know…Maybe? I kept yelling at myself in my head. It’s his son. You can’t do this.” Shepard looked back at the ground feeling ashamed by what she was about to admit. “I think I wanted to…I swore I wasn’t going to see him again just in case, but then he came to me for help with Bailey’s family. I couldn’t turn him away.”

“And so you’ve been spending time together.”

“Yes but…”

“But?”

“Kolyat shouldn’t be involved in my life anymore. It’s too much of a risk to him. You saw what happened at the Unveiling. He handled himself but…Thane didn’t want that for him. **_I_** don’t want that for him. I deal with death and violence on a daily basis sometimes. It shouldn’t have to be him. Thane wanted-“

“Did Kolyat ever say what **he** wanted?” Feron cut her off harshly. “Just because his father wanted something does not make it best for him. Did you even ask him? I know you Shepard. If you didn’t want him there or didn’t think he could handle it, you never would have asked him in the first place. You’re making excuses.”

She puffed her cheeks in aggravation hating that he was probably right. She thought about the turquois Drell again, the blue of his eyes when the light hit them right. He had changed and grown so much from when she had first met him. He was confident and honest. Hardworking and straight forward. She admired that about him, how much he truly worked to make himself a better person, to change his life despite his past. ‘ _I believe in you Shepard, or else I would not be here at all.’_

_No…_ she couldn’t be the one to disappoint him. She thought of Thane suddenly. Her mind drifting to the last time she saw him. Sitting there, watching him cough until his last breath left his body unable to do anything except watch him die. Kolyat standing beside her, unable to even look at him. How empty and helpless it had made her feel…how empty she still felt by his absence. She had loved him like no other before him.

_Thane understood the darkness inside of you. Kolyat has a bright future ahead of him, he will never understand._

Shepard’s mind drifted to the Reapers, battles she had experienced, people who died by her hand. Her body being sucked into space, the pain of dying. Her vision turned white and her throat tightened painfully. The first tremor vibrating over her.  Everyone had used her, the Alliance, Cerberus, people who were supposed to be friends. Everything was what she could do for them. The Council tried to manipulate her and when she had given everything, saved billions, sacrificed friends, enemies and hundreds of thousands of innocents, they had tossed her to the side like she meant nothing. There was only darkness left.

She was vaguely aware of Feron’s hands squeezing hers as she stared unseeing before her, lost.

“Shepard…Shepard!” Feron’s voiced turned into panic. 

“Stop calling me that.” She whispered.

“What? Shepard I don’t-”

“I said stop calling me that!” She shrieked now pulling her hands from his as he moved back in alarm. _Fuck…now he thinks you’re crazy. I think I might be._ She felt her eyes begin to fill with tears. _What the fuck is wrong with me? Why is this happening?_

“Everyone who calls me that, just wants something form me.”

_Everyone always wants something, no one is safe from desire_.

_What do I desire?_

Feron blinked at her slowly and hesitantly reached his hands up to touch her shoulders. She wondered how she must have looked to him. What he must think about her as she felt her whole being shut down, her vision going dark. She felt the burn in her eyes as she fought back the tears that threatened to spill over _. It doesn’t matter what he sees. It doesn’t matter how much you care. You will always be forgotten, always used and discarded._

_I desire for it to end._

“Hey…look at me.” Feron spoke softly, the gentle hum of his voice bringing her focus back on him. Hazel hues encompassed by liquid onyx. The emotion in his eyes making her chest tighten in turmoil. _He shouldn’t look at me like that. I’m nothing but a monster._

“Focus on me, Sarah…Feel my breaths.”

He gingerly placed her hand in the center of his chest. His fingers massaging the back of her hand, caressing her arm soothingly.

“Feel my heartbeat…concentrate on matching your breaths to mine. Just feel me. I am here with you. I won’t leave you.”

His kind words forced the tears to finally spill down her cheeks in heavy streams of self-doubt and hatred. _Didn’t he see what kind of person she was? How disgusting?_

Feron slowly enveloped his arms around her and drew her from the chair to cradle her body against his chest. Pulling the comforter from the bed he wrapped it around them when a shiver passed through her. She couldn’t hear his voice clearly as he spoke to her soothingly, trying his best to make her feel calm. The meaning was lost to her, the words unable to penetrate the fog in her mind. She didn’t have the heart or will to tell him that the cold she felt was so deep inside her, she doubted anything he could have done would have warmed her.

How do you warm the cold darkness of space, when you have no soul?

 

* * *

 

Mitsuko hated being woken up abruptly. The blare of her console loud on the darkened interior of her quarters. Whoever it was better have had a damn well fucking good reason for disturbing her or she was going to kill them.

The man in her bed shifted slightly from the noise, his hands still fastened to the metal rings on the wall by the head of her bed. This one had been a lightweight. A little blood and not enough pain had him passing out unable to pleasure her completely. She hated when they couldn’t keep up. She had already been in a foul mood to begin with and this man had made it worse. She would need to find a new toy now, most likely this one was already broken.

Pushing her glasses onto her face she clicked on the monitor and pulled the sheets over her chest. A human man appeared on the screen. Bright blond spiky hair and deep brown eyes. She knew he was tall and muscular, his infiltrator skills second to none. 

“This better be good Koji,” she said sternly glaring at the man who only smirked and licked his lips when he saw her.

“Did I interrupt anything good?”

“No. A disappointment,” She said flatly making the male scoff and shake his head.

“Good, I don’t have to wait for you to finish then. We’re here.” The monitor clicked off immediately.

Mitsuko sat up quickly. Koji’s team had returned already? That was quicker than anticipated. She knew that credits and silence took time before these things could play out without any knowledge, but so swiftly? Koji really was the best at what he did.

Getting dressed quickly she glanced at the man in her bed, noticing more blood than she had originally thought she put there. The marks of the metal whips had ripped deep wounds. _Fuck…_ she really did break him too quick.

Sighing she sent a message to one of her assistants, notifying him to take care of the mess in her room and secure the male into one of the holding cells on the lower levels. Maybe she could use him for something else now. Might as well salvage what garbage you could, right?

Pulling her lab coat over her arms she left the room and hurriedly made her way towards the craft loading bay thinking about the work ahead of her, excited that she would finally have an opportunity to show those bastards at Cerberus what she was capable of. This was her time to shine and she was going to make damn well certain that everything would go according to plan.

She had hated the fact that the Illusive Man had chosen that bitch Miranda Lawson instead of her. She knew she was ten times more qualified in running the resurrection program on Commander Shepard, but he had decided to keep her on other projects instead. In the end, it didn’t matter though. That cunt Lawson was dead and now she was able to carry on the work she was originally meant for.

A waiting technician handed her a datapad as she passed in anticipation of her arrival and she quickly glanced over the intel to gain a basic overview of what she would be working with. The only thing she knew was the species and she had made sure to go to great lengths at having Koji gather specimens for her project. This subject’s species was fickle and sometimes hard to capture unaware but Koji had done a superb job in choosing his targets to get her what she needed.

The blond man greeted her with a few technicians in the loading dock. A stretcher and body bag beside him. Giving him a quick glance she stared at the corpse as Koji handed her another datapad.

“This is the initial scan we did on the ship. Those squid fuckers did a good job at preserving him until we were ready to retrieve him.”

Mitsuko nodded in agreement as she read over the report. The subject was male. Dead almost a year but the body was so well preserved that decomposing had barely set in. Thirty-eight years of age…well, that will have to be changed. Lungs were completely destroyed, they would have to be replaced too. Finding an organ and blood match was not going to be easy, but she had worked miracles before. That’s why she was chosen for this.

“How many specimens do we have?”

“Thirty.”

“Let’s find a compatible blood match first. Order the assistants to get as much as they can but don’t kill them. Drain half of them completely after I test the organ compatibility to start the replacement process.” They were going to need every drop of blood in order for this to work.  

“And the ones that aren’t compatible?” Koji asked waiting patiently for her orders. Mitsuko licked her lips and smiled maliciously.

“I’ll choose two or three to be my personal pets, as for the others…I’ll save them for other experiments I have planned. Let’s get the subject inside shall we?

Koji nodded and grinned viciously as he motioned for the technicians to start working.

Mitsuko stood to the side as her agents wheeled the body into the lab following behind them as she glanced down at the data pad one more time.

_Thane Krios, let’s start **my** Lazarus Project, shall we?_


	11. Chapter 11

_I knew it…_

_I fucking knew it..._

He had this terrible unrelenting gnawing feeling in his gut when he had seen them together like there was something going on between them…and now…he could smell it all the way from the other side of Forbidden Fruit.

The first time he had smelled Shepard, she had smelt like the warrior he knew she was. Armor laced with the subtle scent of heat sinks and calm resolve, unwavering tenacity…his father’s slight lingering trace. The dark musky aroma mixed with leather, a scent marking upon her skin.

He had been so angry at his father then. Tracking him down to butt into his life, along with a woman he was seeing in tow. Commander Shepard of all people. A women who walked with legends, not assassins. A human paragon for her species, an angel of wrath and vengeance, turned personal savior to them both.

Of course, that was before he knew what she tasted like. At least her tongue. Sweet exotic wine and vanilla, her lavender body wash and perfection…but now…that bastard had cum inside her and her smell was mixed with that fucker’s spiced aroma. Why didn’t he pick up on them sooner? He didn’t think they were seeing one another. Perhaps just a fuck?

_Gods know you’ve been around the Wards once or twice._

Kolyat’s mind wandered to Thane as he approached them. How it would have been easier if he wanted her when his father was still alive. How he could have just asked to be included if he really wanted to be. He doubted his father would have refused him if he pushed the subject. He had seemed so desperate to reconcile, and he was so sure Shepard would have done anything to appease Thane. Even take him to her bed, although she might have done it reluctantly, if at all.

Kolyat sighed as he thought about that scenario. It would have been a shitty way to go about it, and he honestly wasn’t even in the slightest bit attracted to humans at that time. He barely was even now, although he was starting to become more aware of them and the exotic beauty that some of them exhibited. Truthfully, even thinking about it now made him realize that the bonds between father and son were not strong enough for that opportunity, if it was presented. That kind of relationship would have been started for the wrong reasons. For Drells, that form of intimacy would have been an honor, but for them…it would have been nothing but a disaster.

_Would I have been able to be intimate with the both of them at that time?_

Kolyat fought back the taste of bitterness in his throat as he realized what he was starting to really want with her, like no one before. He was not being clear about what he was starting to feel for Shepard and his hesitation and uncertainty was confusing even to him. If he didn’t care he would have just tried to fuck her and be done with it, and he sensed that it was what she might be thinking too. She said his reputation didn’t bother her, but he had a feeling it was all she was starting to see. How do you actually show a woman you care, when you have used every single one before her?

Gods how he hoped it had only been a fuck with Feron and nothing more. Honestly, he had nothing against the other drell. He actually liked him, and they had hit it off pretty well since being introduced, sharing a few messages and calls; joking; talking; they had even planned on hanging out tomorrow night. Truthfully he shouldn’t even be angry. He had never actually asked Shepard if she was seeing anyone or interested in someone, he had just automatically assumed…

_Son of a bitch!_

No…there was no way they were actually seeing each other, right?

Feron noticed him first, catching his gaze, most likely recognizing his pissed off scent as he approached them. The colorful drell adjusted nervously in his chair, humming to him in greeting when he neared. The sound alerting Shepard who turned her eyes on him and smiled thinly.

"Hey!” Feron spoke up first smiling, although his expression was not as vibrant as all the other times they had spoken or seen one another in the video chats.

_Yeah...you know what you did asshole. I can smell it._

Kolyat kept his till silent and nodded in greeting, making sure his face gave nothing away as he sat down across from them. His hand smoothing down the front of his leathers, his subtle movement catching Shepard’s gaze. Her vibrant green eyes lingering on the motion of his hands.

"So, I take it that’s your new favorite jacket?" Shepard grinned brightly eyeing his black leathers approvingly. Her eyes roaming over him as her expression softened, resting her chin upon her hand. Kolyat could only feel anger well up in his chest from the intensity of her gaze as she watched him.

 _Don't look at me like that_. _If you cared, you wouldn’t have fucked him._

Kolyat looked away from them, his mind and chest racing with too many emotions that left him confused and annoyed. He was having trouble wrapping his head around how he should act towards them in this moment. Jealousy was never on his plate before, he had never cared about anyone enough for that emotion to shine through. Even Zahria’s bullshit actions and the hell she had put him through didn’t make him this upset.

His eyes roamed through the café, trying to focus on something else, trying to find anything to grab his attention. His gaze falling upon two serving girls he knew who waved to him in excitement already making their way over to the table. He smiled genuinely, thankful for the moment of distraction to get his mind off the scents before him. He could smell Shepard all over Feron too and that thought alone made him want to leap across the table and strangle the other drell, contemplating the different ways to avoid his hyoid bone and slam his face against the hard wooden surface.

"Hey Kolyat!" The taller of the two women said first, a chocolate skinned human with a long oval face and dark brown eyes that looked almost black.  She smiled warmly running a hand through the short bob jet black hair that fell in front of her eyes placing a small tray upon the table.

“Sorry for the wait. When we saw Kolyat join you we went back to get him his tea too.” The shorter female said towards Shepard and Feron who wore matching expressions of curiosity. Kolyat didn’t give a shit what they thought.

"Ebony, Nina, how are you ladies doing?" He asked grinning, making a show of it. Leaning back comfortably against the seat. Ebony placed the drinks down in front of them and smiled as her name was called and her attention was brought to another patron. She waved and held up a finger before looking back at him.

“I’ve been better. I’ll catch up with you later though Kol, I might need your help with something.”

"You have my contact info." He said seriously hoping whatever it was, wasn't too severe. He already knew that it had nothing to do with finding a date or a party she sometimes invited him to by the look on her face. Ebony nodded and lowered her voice before leaving.

“Nina can fill you in a little. I’ll call you later.” She said quickly leaving the smaller blond as she made her way over to another table to take their order.

“She’s not in trouble is she?” Shepard asked softly leaning in for semi-privacy towards Nina who shook her head. The tight golden ringlets of hair bouncing as she made a sound of denial.

“No way, nothing like that,” she protested, her bright blue eyes moving around the café before she moved in closer.

“It’s this guy actually. He’s a regular who only ever comes when she’s on shift. He hangs around and constantly asks her out, lately, he’s been getting a little aggressive.”

“Nothing worse than a male who can’t take the hint.” Feron chimed in.

_What the fuck? Was that comment directed at me?_

Kolyat growled in annoyance knowing that Feron would be the only one who could hear him, his sound of anger catching the other drells interest who quirked an eyeridge at him in concern.

“Well…the last time he was here he caused a really big scene. Emily is looking up the laws that prohibit clientele from entering an establishment. It’s hard with the anti-discrimination laws in effect.”

“He’s not human?” Shepard asked in interest.

“Turian…and a politician.” Nina frowned deeply.

“Please tell me his name isn’t Tallid?”

“Are you serious right now?” Kolyat sucked his teeth in anger but Shepard only grinned at him cheekily.

“I was just curious.” She shrugged nonchalantly picking up her coffee and taking a sip blinking at him innocently.

_So full of shit, that wasn’t even funny._

“I don’t know his name, sorry,” Nina answered.

“How often does he come in and cause a disturbance?” Feron asked bringing the conversation back.

“Maybe two or three times a week. Emily wants to file a restraining order but she thinks she might have a hard time because of his political ties. I think she’s also going to change around Ebony’s shift and see if that helps.”

“Is Emily here? I would like to speak to her so I can help. I need as much information on the guy as possible to speed up the process, a name would help.” Kolyat murmured as he glanced around looking for the petite human owner.

"I can run a background check on the guy if she knows his name." Feron tilled in eagerness towards him willingly. Kolyat stayed silent unsure if he wanted to accept his help or tell him to go fuck himself. Feron being an information trader would allow him to find more on the guy then C-Sec could ever hope to dig up. Maybe he should let him help. This was for Ebony’s wellbeing and Emily had always been kind to him. They could even be considered friends. It was time for him to return the favor. After a moment he returned a hum of reluctant acceptance which left a smile on Feron’s lips but a frown on his own.

_Why are you smiling? You’re still not off the hook yet asshole._

“Emily should be here soon.” Nina started to speak again. “She has a wedding order that needs to be completed before the weekend. She and Vanessa are going to do an overnight to get it done.”

“Tell Emily to contact me when you next see her. She has my info. I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

Kolyat caught a small smile on Shepard’s lips as she stared at him quietly. Her watchful eyes making him suddenly uncomfortable and confused. _What is she thinking about?_   Before he had a chance to dwell, Nina nodded and handed out small laminated cards to each of them before grabbing a pad and pen from her apron.

"Do you want to order anything to eat? Emily is starting to incorporate small lunch specials. Salads and light sandwiches. There’s a seaweed salad that she put on the menu for our drell clients and she also has Hashi tea now in case you want that for the future.”

Kolyat smiled, pleased at how Emily was trying to accommodate her growing clientele. She was always considerate and easily adaptable. One more thing to admire about her.

"I am good right now. The tea is fine. I will try the salad when I come in tomorrow.” Nina nodded and looked at Feron and Shepard expectantly.

"I'm not really hungry," Feron said softly glancing at Shepard who nodded in agreement.

"We're good with the coffee and tea. Thank you."

"Not a problem. If you need a refill I’ll be by the counter. I'll keep a lookout." She smiled genuinely, taking the cards from them and walking away leaving Shepard to turn her gaze back on him and grin playfully.

"So…Kol…I take it you come here often?"

Kolyat frowned sitting further back against his chair as he took his tea and sipped it making sure to keep a neutral disposition. He wasn’t entirely sure he liked how his nickname sounded on her lips right now.

"The owner is an acquaintance of mine and yes. I come here on most of my lunch breaks. I didn't know you we're familiar with it though."

"Are you kidding me?” She asked in disbelief. Her green eyes widening in overly dramatic shock.

“Have you tried their chocolates? So freaking good. They have this little champagne truffle in the shape of a seashell. Holy hell…it’s like an orgasm in your mouth."

Feron grinned at her and tilted his head to the side, quirking an eyeridge in mirth as he regarded her statement. Kolyat wanted to say a thousand nasty rude comments but opted to push the subject aside. He blinked at her slowly and let out a heavy breath doing his best to keep his expression devoid of any reaction. He didn’t want her to know what was on his mind…at least not in front of the other drell.

"I never tried it," He murmured, glancing away.

"Drells don't normally like sweet things," Feron added in, finally taking a sip of his own tea, his expression turning thoughtful as he tasted the flavor, sipping a second time more deeply before meeting his awaiting gaze. Kolyat knew that Emily had a unique mix for her teas and was curious to what the other drell thought of the drink he ordered.

“We talking about food or women?” Shepard chiming in snickering, bringing Feron’s attention back towards her as he grinned widely.

“I wonder…”

"I’m actually surprised because Thane was addicted to Ra'shak and Dra’fu tarts. Every time we went to the Citadel he would disappear and come back with a box of them." 

“Really?” Kolyat asked doubtfully hearing a till of agreement from Feron.

"I didn't take Thane for a pastry or candy eater." The colorful drell said thoughtfully, sitting back in his chair glancing at Kolyat who nodded in agreement. Kolyat wasn’t sure if she was serious or not as she laughed softly at the looks of skepticism on their faces.

“I’m not saying he ate them all the time. It was just something he enjoyed every now and then. Our trips to the Citadel we’re few and far between, so we stocked up when we could. When we got more familiar I would catch him sneaking into my cabin, trying to steal my chocolates and-”

“If Thane really wanted to steal something, I doubt he would have let you catch him. You know that right?” Feron smiled gently as they both watched her glance down at the table, most likely thinking back on a moment in her mind.

“I know…There was one night he snuck into my quarters and…you know what, never mind.” She laughed nervously looking away from the both of them. Kolyat knew it was an intimate memory. One he would remember to ask her about at a later time. More questions to accompany everything he wanted to know pertaining to his father and her.

"I take it that was an occasion he gave you something to do with your hands?" The other drell grinned flirtingly causing Shepard to snicker and slap his arm playfully.

Kolyat just wanted to punch him in the mouth.

"Anyway Kolyat…” She started, knowing she was looking for any excuse to change the subject. “I hope Bailey didn't keep you too long doing paperwork. Did he at least let you up for air?"

“I’m used to it and I know you don’t really care.” He replied curtly. His harsh response causing her to frown, expression quickly sobering from his hostility. Feron scowled and narrow his eyes, tilling in disapproval.

_Fuck them both right now. They were the ones who asked me here._

“What is it you called me for? Do you have something for me, or did you perhaps need to use me again? If you need another bodyguard, I’m sure Feron can handle it for you now.”

_Shit…I'm being a total dick…and that sounded too much like jealousy._

Shepard crossed her arms in front of her chest and sat back in her chair, eyes hardening as she assessed him solemnly. "What is your problem this morning? Someone piss in your cheerios?"

They glared at each other for several heartbeats, both of them unwilling to back down from the other. Both of them suddenly ignoring the other drell who swallowed thickly and took another sip of his tea, abruptly finding something to catch his full attention on the opposite side of the café, pretending they weren’t trying to burn holes through one another.

Eventually, Kolyat was the one to look away first, sucking his teeth in aggravation as he pulled in a deep breath to calm himself. Why was he even acting like this? Like some lover scorned. He really needed a moment away from them to collect his thoughts. This really wasn’t what he expected when he received her message to meet her here.

He expected warm smiles and genuine happiness to see him again. He expected flirting jokes and the opportunity to perhaps touch her hair or maybe her skin again. A tiny caress, a brush of his hand, the smell of her lavender body wash and the euphoric aroma of everything that was her. He didn’t expect this other drell to blatantly cum inside her. _Fuck…I have to stop thinking about that._ Kolyat froze when he heard an emotional apologetic till erupt from Feron’s throat, followed by a sound that indicated misunderstanding, making him only shake his head and sigh.

_What misunderstanding? She slipped and fell on your dick?_

Kolyat eyed the other male skeptically and sent back a till of indifference. She wasn't his, it shouldn't matter who she fucked...but it made him think. If she was with Feron…why did she kiss him that night at the C-sec ball...or was that the real reason she pushed him away at the safe house? Was he the one who was in the wrong? Why wasn’t Feron being aggressive towards him if he was the encroaching male?

He didn't smell a claim on her so technically she was still fair game, and if Feron was serious about her, then he would have given him an aggressive subharmonic back when he slipped up and indicated his possession over Shepard. _Which you technically had no right to do yourself_. Fuck this was getting complicated.

"Are you guys doing a subharmonic?" Shepard finally spoke again, blinking slowly as she glanced between the two of them.

"We're trying to reestablish our bromance," Feron smirked staring at Kolyat who just shook his head trying to find it in himself to hate the other male. He secretly wished he could slap him. However, he felt the urge harder to hold on to as he thought more about the whole situation.  Eventually, he sighed and looked back at the rainbow-hued drell who smiled in hopeful uncertainty, his hazel eyes full of expectations.

"I hate you right now." He admitted gently but feeling the air between them begin to lighten. Feron nodded in agreement and gave another till of misunderstanding. He was really trying hard to convince him that it wasn’t what he thought. _This fucking guy._

"I know, but I'll make it up to you, promise." Feron purred eagerly until he finally gave in.

"The drinks better be fucking strong...and expensive." Kolyat snapped with a low irritated growl.

"With little umbrellas."

"You know…if I’m interrupting something here..." Shepard grinned, trailing off into playful coyness.   

"You would like that wouldn't you?" Feron purred wickedly, allowing her to shrug indifferently and click her tongue in reflection.

"I don't know. It might be hot…along with crazy inappropriate for me to watch. Which I guess would make it even more worthwhile.”

Kolyat rose his eyeridge’s at her in surprise as Feron hummed in delight. There was no way she was serious, was she?

"And here I thought I was the perverted one. You hear that Kol? I think she would like watching the two of us together. Think we could arrange that for her?”

Kolyat swallowed roughly his mind spinning with the possibilities until he quickly scoffed and looked away from the two of them heatedly. She was bullshitting and would not fall into the trap of Feron’s teasing.

“You know that’s all I think about…ever.” She said dryly crossing her arms over her chest leaning back further against her chair. “If we’re done screwing around maybe you can give Kolyat what he needs.”

"You were the one who started it." Feron chided reaching into his jacket to produce a small glass case with three data chips, before sliding it across the table towards him. "For your friends…a fresh start. I still owe you one more though."

"The whole family is already registered at the colony. The shuttle leaves in a few days.”

“Just make sure they are really ready for this. Once those chips are installed, who they were will completely cease to be.”

Kolyat swallowed roughly and nodded as he took the chips and processed Feron and Shepard’s words before placing it in his pocket, giving Feron an emotional till of thanks, truly grateful. He smiled vibrantly and tilled in genuine happiness.

"Seriously man, no problem. I'll give you the other one when Ryan is released…and…"

Feron’s voice trailed off as his gaze turned distant and serious. Kolyat watched in curiosity as his attention slowly turned towards the doorway of the coffee shop. His hazel eyes brightening in interest as he scanned the café, sniffing the air. He looked confused but alert as if he was searching and trying to pinpoint something of importance.

"Everything okay?" Shepard asked cautiously picking up on the way Feron’s body stiffened in awareness. His eyes moving around more quickly as they narrowed in deeper confusion. It took him a moment before he was able to snap his attention back to Shepard after she touched his arm softly in budding concern.  His throat ribbing suddenly swelling and vibrating a sound of embarrassment as he glanced down at the table unsure.

"Yeah...sorry. I smelled something." He mumbled as he tried to hide the fact that he was still trying to glance around again, his inner eyelids blinking rapidly in unease.

"Something weird or something good?"

"Good...a little too good." He admitted red hues erupted beneath his throat as he coughed into his hand and stood up fluidly.

"Was it a female?" Shepard grinned cheekily resting her chin on the palm of her hand as she stared up at him. Her response interesting Kolyat more than Feron’s behavior. Wasn't she jealous? So it wasn't serious between them?

"What did it smell like?" Kolyat asked in curiosity wondering if his reaction meant that he had smelled a compatible female nearby. He sniffed the air trying to pick something up but was unable to focus on anything other than Shepard and the exotic aromas on her skin. Nothing else seemed to grab at him and not even Feron’s smell on her was going to deter him for long without a claim in her system. _Fuck him, she was still fair game._ Feron pulled in a deep breath and straightened his jacket, tilting his head to the side thoughtfully.

"A female drell…I think. Like rain...and the sea after a storm…a subtle scent of sand and oceans. It’s very…enticing.”

Rain...and oceans? Was it Emily? Kolyat tried to smell the air again but he didn't pick up her scent. Maybe he was mistaken? Emily wasn’t a Drell.

"Are you jealous?" Feron smirked at Shepard, snapping out of whatever biological hold that had suddenly come over him.

"Of course Feron." She answered in mock horror. Her tone turning overly dramatic and embellished. "I can't go through the day without you, don't you know that?"

"I know it.” He chuckled deeply, his voice rumbling with delight.  “But right now I have some business to take care of…So for now, I’ll catch up with the two of you later.”  

He eyed both of them and grinned. Nodding towards Shepard who waved lazily in goodbye as he tilled his farewell and good intentions toward Kolyat before giving one last glance around the café, leaving them alone.

Kolyat gave it a few moments. The both of them sitting in silence taking sips of their drinks. The air growing heavier and heavier with unspoken words between them. He studied her face, the pale perfect skin and light pink hues of her cheeks. The slender curve of her neck and all that vibrant silky red hair just waiting to be bunched upon someone’s palms. Did Feron bury his nose in it like he had hoped for a chance to do?

“Are you two seeing each other?” He suddenly blurted out. His mind running rampant of thoughts of the two of them together.

"What?" She asked in alarm blinking slowly. Taking another sip of her coffee she glanced away. Was she trying to bide her time?

“Why would you ask something like that?”

 _Y_ _ou’re fucking joking right?_ Kolyat frowned as he glared at her in disapproval. She was most likely going to shoot him again.

“Because you reek of him. I can smell him all over you. I can smell that he was inside you.”

“What the fuck? God, you’re direct. Are you seriously saying that to me? It’s really none of your business what happens between Feron and me.”

“No? I am just curious because of the time we’ve been spending together. Not to mention that you kissed me back… **twice** I might add. I just want to know how serious you are about him if you allowed **me** to taste your mouth.”

"Jesus Kolyat…Do I ask about all the women you fuck…or kiss?” She groaned running a hand over her face before tangling it in her hair.

“I try not to kiss them. I prefer not to even put my mouth on them unless I have to,” he snapped. He knew she was familiar with many drell practices. She should already know that they considered a kiss to be extremely intimate. Fitting since they could always pull back the memory of another’s tongue and taste in a single moment. Kissing was usually only done with serious intent.

“You know, I don’t even care. It doesn’t matter to me if you do or not. I already know you’re never serious about any of them. You have no right to ask about what I do behind closed doors.”

Her comment made him hesitate. She was right…he was never serious with any of those females, it was true…but with her…he had no right to ask. But he had to tell her what he was thinking, even if he was about to regret it.

“Sarah…When you were with my father-”

“Are you about to accuse me of finding a replacement or are you angry Feron got to me first?”

Her bold statement caught him off guard. Did she already know how much he was starting to want her? Did Feron perhaps say something to her? _Of course, he did, you fucked up and let it slip._ Kolyat sighed knowing it was time to finally be truthful with her, no matter how badly this was probably about to end.

“Sarah-”

“I’m not your father Kolyat…That blame game is not going to work on me.” He knew what she meant clearly. When he had first learned about her he had accused his father of not mourning his mother properly and finding a replacement. He had been rude and vocal, cruel and uncaring, but that was before he had learned the full truth of his father’s absence.

“I did not say that…and I have already meant and apologized for what I **did** say to you when we met. As for my father…you said it yourself…I was a different person, and I **was**. At that time I didn’t understand his actions, I just wanted him to hurt. Using anything I could find to throw at him, and fuel his guilt. That included you. I know it was petty, but it was all I had at the time. I didn’t know you. You were just ammunition. Just some woman with his scent, nothing more.”

“Kolyat-” He held up his hand to silence her.

“Let me finish. I will not accuse you of finding a replacement. I know you will never stop loving my father. Just like he never stopped loving my mother. It is not easy, but it is possible to love more than once in a lifetime…but I don’t think Feron is the one you are meant to move on for.”

_Fuck…why did I just say that?_

“Who then? Who should I move on for?” She whispered, her gaze burning into his with unending intensity. He tried his hardest not to misinterpret her earnest gaze as hope on his part. He swallowed roughly and spoke. His voice matching hers just above a whisper. _There’s no way…you can’t admit that…_

“You’ll figure it out.”

“I don’t like games.” She frowned, green eyes darkening in rising ire.

“Neither do I.”

She made a sound of disgust and clicked her tongue in annoyance. Glaring at him as different emotions swirled over her features until she settled on indifference, grabbing her coffee once again to bring it to her lips.

“What makes you believe I even care about what you think?”

Kolyat shook his head and grimaced in disgust, sneering at her response. She was so full of shit. He didn’t care how much she was pretending, he still wanted her. He didn’t care how many times that male had tried to taint her smell. It would go away in time and he would still not want her any less. He was tired of pretending he didn’t, tired of subtle approaches and taking his time. Impatient about her trying to figure it out herself. He knew she wanted him too, he could sense it, and he was irritated that it was taking her this long. She was fighting it for reasons he couldn’t comprehend. The only thing he couldn’t recognize, was weather it was just sex or something more? He liked her…a lot. More than any woman before. He was tired of being silent about it and he was about to make damn well sure she knew exactly what he saw.

_Please be something more…_

"I see the way you look at me…” He started, keeping his gaze steady on hers. His hands flat against the table as if he was trying to keep himself from sinking into the floor.

“Like you can’t figure out if you want to shoot me again, or…” Kolyat leaned in close and kept his voice low, making sure his vocals were only loud enough for her to hear. “If you want to feel me so deep inside you, it leaves you begging me for claim.”

She sucked in a harsh breath from his straightforward response. Her scent changing to arousal laced with rage. Eyes brightening as a pink flush erupted over her skin. He loved that smell could taste that intoxicating subtle sweetness like a caress of liquid heaven against his skin. He loved the blush over her skin, an indication that he had caught her off guard.

“You would like that, wouldn’t you? Feeling me inside you. If you want I can replace his scent with mine. Fill you so completely with my seed you only know what it means to be consumed in pleasure.”

“Jesus Kolyat…what are you saying? You don’t know-“

“Yes, I do.” He cut her off roughly. “I know exactly what I’m saying and I know for a fact if I didn’t fuck up and say what I said to you that first night, my scent would be on you instead, and you wouldn’t reek of him.”             

"Can you please stop saying reek? That word is freaking me out.”

“Good. Does it make you want to jump in a shower and get his stench off you?”

“I showered before I came here. I know I don’t smell. You’re just being an asshole.”

“That’s a matter of opinion…let me take his scent away. I want to know how amazing your fragrance will be after I’ve been inside you. Let me show you how perfect it will be.”

She looked down at the table biting her lip, her heavy breaths labored as she struggled for control, her throat constricting as she swallowed heavily. Her eyes searching the wooden grains of the surface deep in thought. Her scent turning wild. “You need to stop.”

“Do you really want that?” He whispered in doubt. She glanced up at him in uncertainty with eyes like a raging storm.

“You shouldn’t talk to me like that.”

“You don’t dislike it.”

“Yes…I do.”

He wasn’t at all convinced. “Then why do your cheeks redden when I do? Why do I smell your arousal? Your eyes dilate in lust? I’m sure I’ll be ten times better then Feron if you allow me to show you.”

“Maybe I screamed out Thane’s name when he made me cum. Maybe I’ll do the same thing to you. Maybe that’s the real reason I fucked him. To be reminded of what a Drell feels like inside of me. It didn’t matter what Drell it was. Maybe I used him. Maybe I’ll use you too.” Her voice bit out harshly now. Her gaze turning to anger and disdain. So much pain, so much force in trying to convince him.

Kolyat looked away in alarm. He hadn’t thought about that. Maybe she had only slept with Feron because she missed his father. Perhaps she was speaking the truth and she had used him. Perhaps that was the real reason she was pushing him away, because he really did remind her of his father. No…He felt how she had reacted to him. How her scent changed whenever he got near her. The body does not lie.

_She has to be lying…_

“You are not that cruel.” 

“You don’t know me Kolyat. You don’t know what I’m capable of. The things I’ve done.” Her voice was empty and hollow now. The tone of Commander Shepard shining through. The domineering angel of wrath. There was more to her than that. Commander Shepard was not everything that existed within her.

“No…but I would like to. I want to know you. I want to know all of you.”

Sadness flashed across her face at the sincerity in his voice. His till of truthful intent rumbled low for her to hear clearly. He wanted her to know how serious he was about this. 

“Trust me, you won’t like what you see…besides…you’re his son, and Thane-”

“In drell society-“

“I’m not drell! I’m human! And you don’t understand all the things that make this wrong for me. The consequences…”

“Sarah, please-”

“No…” She cut him off again roughly, voice thick to the point of budding anguish. Kolyat could feel a weight starting to push down on his chest staring at her forsaken expression just as she began to whisper.

“There’s a darkness inside of me...an emptiness…Thane…he…” Her voice trailed off as her gaze grew distant before she shook her head to push off the memory she almost lost herself in. Kolyat swallowed heavily ready to say her name again but held his tongue as she continued.

“You can never understand. Just forget about me in that way.”

_No…_

“I can’t…can’t you see that?” He didn’t care if his voice came out almost pleadingly. He knew it was starting to break as he lost his composure. Emotion starting to drown his resolve.

“Let me show you how much I want you. What I’m willing to do. I will understand, I know I will. Give me a chance to show you that I can be-”

“I don’t want you! Can’t you get that through your head?” She yelled towards him viciously. Kolyat didn’t need to look around to know that people were staring at them as he looked down at the table in dejection.

_‘I don’t want you.’_

No one **_ever_** wanted him.

_That simple truth._

After his mother was killed and even before, he felt as if he was nothing more than a burden to everyone around him. His father barely interacted with him as a child and then disappeared completely after her funeral. He had soon become someone else’s problem to be dumped and pushed aside. He had been left in the care of an aunt and uncle on Irikah’s side, but even then they had tiptoed around him. Never sure how to interact with a child that wasn’t their own. He was regarded as there, nothing more, nothing less. Nothing important.

By the time Thane’s brother had been reached and was able to intervene on his behalf and take him as his own, he had already been too lost to care. Torin had tried, Gods know he did. He had done everything to console Kolyat in every way, but the damage had already been done, and he was too lost at any attempt for change. The only woman he had ever seriously dated and started to care for had used him and discarded him when she was done. He was nothing more than an unwanted fuck up…He thought for the first time that perhaps there was someone actually enjoying his company. That perhaps Shepard cared about him too.

“Sarah-“

“I don’t want to hear it. Just go find one of your floozies to fuck. I’m not interested.”

He narrowed his eyes at her in regret and budding discontent. He thought that perhaps she was different. That she was actually taking the time to know him. No one else had spoken to him the way she did before when they were at the safe house. When they were alone in her office, when he had helped console her in her moment of weakness. Was it all a lie?

_That’s all I’m good for, right? An exotic lay, nothing more. That’s all you see…That’s all anyone sees…_

The pain that hit Kolyats chest felt like a sucker punch to the gut. Unable to find his voice he looked down at the table trying to grasp at anything to say so she could understand how he was starting to feel about her. How much he hated himself in that moment. How much he wished he could turn himself into anything that she wanted…even his father.

“I think it would be better for the both of us, if we don’t see each other again.” Her voice was low and empty as she started to rise from the table. No…he couldn’t let that happen. If nothing else was true, he knew he had to see her again. He blinked at her in alarm.

“Shepard…” He started, staring up at her in distress, rising to grab her wrist quickly without thinking. She sighed and stared back at him impatiently, green eyes darkening with their own regret. Her gaze moving to his hand around her wrist in anger, until he released her tilling in apology.

“My Detective Exam is tomorrow. We are having a party at Neon Rain two days after at 1600 to celebrate. I would like it if you could be there.” He knew he was grasping at anything he could think of, but he couldn’t let it end like this. If he could see her again, maybe he could turn things around. Maybe he could try a different approach, maybe…

“I don’t think that’s a good idea Kolyat. I’m sorry.” He let out a heavy breath of disbelief as her tone held no room for argument, and it didn’t matter. In that moment he could think of nothing else that would tie her to him. Feron was going to take care of the last ID and she didn’t need him for another event. She had already helped him with Claire and given him the safe house. What else was there? _Nothing…fucking nothing._ As he watched her walk away and leave the café he had a feeling she knew it too. But what else could he say?

He sat down dejectedly, bunching his fists upon the wooden surface, suddenly feeling restless, as if he couldn’t sit still. He didn’t know what to do with his hands. He rubbed his face, the back of his neck, wiped his thighs frantically while looking up at the ceiling to take in a deep breath. Doing his best to clear his mind. His thoughts were too wild now.

Eventually, he got up from the table and glanced around, noticing how workers and patrons avoided his stare until he saw Emily standing close by, a sad sorrowful look on her face. Honey eyes shining in unshed tears but hesitant to approach him. She had probably already figured out that Sarah was the girl that he was interested in, and she had just gotten a front row seat to his dramatic rejection.

‘ _Don’t rush it. If you do, you’ll regret it and it will be that much more painful.’_ He should have listened to her. He got carried away, and now…now he didn’t know what to do with himself.

Opening his omnitool he sent Emily a message that he had to get out of there and to put everything on his tab. He watched her look down at her omnitool and slowly back up at him nodding silently. He could tell she wanted to come to him but knew now was not the right time. He would speak to her another day. He just needed some time to himself.

He needed…

He didn’t know what he needed or wanted anymore…

 

* * *

 

He felt sluggish and tired. His body weak. His brain still left in utter chaos. He hadn’t slept, the thoughts of what Shepard had said to him and his emotions running wild through the night prevented him from drifting off to rest. Several times Feron had called him and every time he had just stared at his omnitool waiting for the contact transmission to end until he eventually just turned it off wishing not to be disturbed. What could he have possibly wanted to say to him? He didn’t even care enough to know.

He knew he was going to regret what he did. Taking things a little too far. Being honest with what he wanted to do to her. What was he thinking? It was one of the few times in his life that he knew he should have just held his tongue. Should have thought things through a little more. Should have waited it out, let things progress naturally…if they were even going to at all. What did he hope to accomplish? She would never see him as anything else.

He spent the whole night sitting on the floor, his back against his bed, knees up with his hands clasped lightly upon them as he stared unseeing into the darkness of his apartment. Silently watching the time periodically, until it was the moment he had to leave for his exam.

The route was taken on instinct and routine, his mind not really with him as he went mechanically toward C-Sec headquarters and traveled to the lower levels where the exam was taking place. He glanced around when he entered the orientation room where a small speech was given as a pep talk and morale boost for inspirational motivation.

The words were lost on him.

Slowly the group of cadets were ushered into another room, split into three groups of twenty-eight by last name and asked to line up. Once they were in order he heard his name being called from behind, the enthusiastic tone catching his attention and making him turn to glance towards the back of the line. Keston beamed at him with a toothy wide grin, rumpled brown hair and dark circles under his eyes. He looked terrible and he had a feeling that the human male probably slept as much as he did. Smiling softly with a nod of greeting Keston gave him an ecstatic thumbs up just as his name was next called from the list. Taking a deep breath he turned and approached the counter where two officers sat for processing.

"Can I have your full name and identification number?" The Human male asked waiting to link the test to his account.

"Kolyat Krios, KR-79885-018”

The man nodded and tapped a few keys on his keyboard, while the Asari next to him turned the keypad over and waited for him to punch in his security code.

"C-sec Officer exam, right?" The male confirmed linking the program to his omnitool.

"Yes sir...I also need the Detective entrance exam."

Kolyat watched the male raise an eyebrow in interest as the murmurs and whispers grew louder behind him. He didn’t give a shit what anyone thought about him in this moment and just pretended he couldn’t hear them.

“What the fuck, he’s applying for Detective?”

“You can do that?”

“That’s Bailey’s pet for you.”

“Seriously? What a suck up.”

“Hey, shut the fuck up. Krios works harder than half you losers.” Kolyat blinked slowly hearing Keston voice his disapproval. At least one person had his back. Ignoring the rest of the mumbles, the C-Sec officer frowned at those behind him before he turned his gaze back on him tapping quickly on his keyboard again.

“Just to confirm, you are requesting the C-Sec Officer Exam and Detective Placement Exam. You are aware that if you fail the Detective Exam will be put back in cadet status and will not be able to reapply for fifteen months. If you fail the Officer Exam you will be put back on probation for six months. The Detective Exam is also accompanied by a Psychological Exam and an Oral Cross Examination afterwards. If you fail either the psychological or oral, you will not be able to reapply for twenty-four months. If you fail three times you will be disqualified from reapplying for the rest of your career. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Sir,” Kolyat answered, swallowing down his rising nervousness. The asari and human both nodded and waited for him to sign off on the test registration as it linked to one of the computer modules. 

"Officer Krios, desk twelve. Good luck." The asari said as the test finished loading. He bowed respectfully before linking his omnitool to accept the test registration and headed for the door beside them. Glancing back at Keston he gave a curt nod of thanks who returned it and grinned back, a silent confirmation of good intentions.

Doing his best to clear his mind he sat down at his designated seat and punched in his identification and security clearance. After pulling up the first page and filling out his basic registration and completing the fingerprint scan he steadied his nerves and opened the first page of the psychological, skimming over some of the questions.

Do you like to smell flowers?

Have you ever thought about killing yourself?

Have you ever tried to commit suicide?

Would you prefer to be alone?

Do you get along with others?

Would you consider being a mechanic?

Do you sometimes wish you were the opposite sex?

Do voices tell you to kill yourself?

Is rape worse than murder?

_Just answer honestly and do your best. That’s all you can believe in right now._

Taking one more deep breath, he did a quick prayer to Arashu before answering the first question honestly, hoping that it would allow his life to change for the better. He had to focus on his dream. In this moment it became the only thing that mattered.

 

* * *

 

 

Kolyat sat on his bed, exhausted but still not willing to sleep. The exam was long and grueling the oral cross-examination even more so. The human female had analyzed and asked him clarification on some of his answers to the psychological which turned out to be over two hundred questions. Most of which were same questions asked over and over with different wording in hopes of trying to trip people up. Any inconsistency was caught right away and multiple questions were asked.

In Kolyat’s case though everything was consistent but some of his answers, although the same, were still drilled at him for confirmation. They were also combined with questions on how he viewed certain aspects of crimes and individual scenarios which were also presented. He had a feeling the woman was also doing a personality assessment on him as well when she asked simple questions like what he did in his spare time to unwind, or if he liked to read and what?

_I really need a drink…_

Sighing heavily he pushed back everything that happened in the last two days to the back of his mind. He could literally feel that his whole body was tense and uncomfortable as the stress from everything was starting to get to him. What if he didn’t pass? What if he fucked up and said something on the Oral Exam which screwed his chances for the next two years? He needed to calm himself down. He needed someone to talk to.

Rubbing the back of his neck roughly he opened his omnitool and called the one person who knew him the best. It only took two rings before the screen came on and he was greeted by Taran’s smooth smile and calm gaze. Kolyat could already feel a smile spreading across his own lips.

“I was hoping you would call. I wasn’t sure when you would finish. How did the test go?”

“I think I did pretty well.”

“So is congratulations in order?”

“Not yet, the results will be posted in a few days.”

“Modesty does not suit you when it is not needed. I have no doubt you passed.” Taran grinned widely and gave him a till of belief and happiness. Kolyat swallowed roughly and tilled back his thanks but changed it to a sound of sadness and distress indicating that he really needed to talk to him about something. Taran gave him a searching look of worry already knowing something was up but blinked it away as something caught his gaze.

“Is that Kolyat?” He heard a female voice call out as Taran looked to the side and grinned again softly, a female Drell joining him on the couch. She slid in gracefully, her shimmering silver dress flowing around her while she moved fluidly in beside him, wrapping her arm around the crook of his elbow beaming brightly at him upon the screen.

Mira Amani was beautiful and exquisitely elegant by his species standards. Tall and lean with the softest shimmer to her scales that started as a pale lavender upon her face and blended towards the deepest purple he had ever seen. She was smart and kind, a firecracker of energy and intelligence.

“Hey Mira.” He smiled affectionately emitting a till of greeting and deep friendship.

“Hey Kolyat! So, are you a full-fledged officer now?” She asked in excitement, her lavender eyes sparkling in glee, the lighter lavender irises shining in hope.

“I will know in a few days. I went by the shop after my exam but Taran wasn’t there. I was calling to see if you would let him come out and play tonight.” Mira smirked as Taran chuckled but shook his head.

“You know we’re trying to have a baby right?” Mira clicked her tongue coyly crossing one leg over the other to smooth her dress demurely.

“I think I remember Taran mentioning that to me.” He smiled warmly already seeing where this conversation was headed.

“I know you probably want to celebrate, but not tonight…or tomorrow.” She looked away a little shyly her frills darkening in embarrassment. Kolyat just grinned.

_She’s in heat._

“Say no more. I understand. I take it you’re both not going to work tomorrow or perhaps the day after?” Kolyat asked and both of them nodded in confirmation.

“Your results are in a few days right? We’ll celebrate then when its official.” Taran said as Mira wrapped her arm around him tighter smiling widely humming in agreement.

“We love you Kolyat. We have no doubt that you made it, and we look forward to seeing you in a few days.”

“I wish you both the best. Mira is counting on you Taran, don’t let her down.” Kolyat tilled jokingly making the silver Drell chuckle deeply.

“Well, it won’t be for a lack of trying, I assure you.” Mira hit him playfully and sucked her teeth as Taran whispered to her and she nodded in understanding. Waving her goodbye she got up and walked away leaving the two of them alone. Once she was out of ear shot Taran lowered his voice and stared at him solemnly.

“You okay? What’s wrong?” Kolyat looked away and sighed as Taran gave a sound of comfort. However, Kolyat did not want to become a burden on their plans and made a low tremor not to worry.

“Is it that human female? The one you protected at the Unveiling? Did something happen?”

“Don’t worry about it right now. We can talk another time. Go give your woman a baby and make me its Ka’dan so I can spoil the shit out of it, and give it a stupid name.”

Taran chuckled deeply, his rumbled vocals full of delight and happiness. “What makes you think I would make you the baby’s Ka’dan?”

“Because I’m better looking than your brother and clearly the better choice.”

“You’re clearly full of shit, but we have to have a baby first before we can choose Ka’dan’s.”

“Then you better get to it. You have a long night ahead of you.” Kolyat snickered as he watched Tarans eyes brighten and his ribbing darken as he grinned.

“Fine…but when we next see each other, you better tell me everything I want to know.”

“I’m not telling you shit unless you give your woman a baby.” He growled with good intention. Both of them sharing one final snicker before saying their goodbyes.

Kolyat did a quick prayer to Arashu, asking the Goddess to bless his friends with a child knowing that a baby born from them would experience nothing but love and happiness. He sighed when he was done trying to think of who else he would want to hang out with. Clicking on his omnitool he placed a call to Keston.

“Krios. What’s going on man?”

“About to head to Purgatory, you want in?”

“Usually I’m all for that but I’m beat. I crammed like a fucking black hole and now my head is killing me. I was about to head to bed. I got a shift in the morning.”

“That’s what you get for waiting until the last minute to study.” Kolyat grinned at the other male.

“Yeah well, go fuck yourself. I’m too tired for a better come back. I think it worked though. Hey, what did you answer for the hostage question? Did you try to shoot the driver or did you let him go and called for backup?”

“I let him go. If you shoot, its reckless endangerment to the hostage, not to mention if your aim is off you can endanger any nearby pedestrians. Also if you shoot the driver and he’s on manual the car can crash causing more harm.”

“Fuuuuccck! I knew I shouldn’t have answered the way I did.” Keston groaned in aggravation ruffling his hair and pulling on it until it spiked up haphazardly.

“Fuck this test. I just needed to pass, not ace it.”

“I’m sure you passed,” Kolyat said reassuringly, trying to encourage the human male.

“Thanks man. Yo, I didn’t know you were interested in Detective. You could have told me, I wouldn’t have said anything. I hope you get it. You kill yourself for this job more than half these dickheads. You deserve it.” Kolyat swallowed roughly and glanced away in appreciation from Keston’s support.

“Thanks. I’ll let you go. You going to Neon Rain the day after tomorrow?”

“Hell fucking yeah, I need to get me some ass after I sleep off this headache. I’ll see you there?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there.”

I _guess tonight’s a solo act._

Kolyat sighed after he hung up with Keston not really willing to call anyone else. His mind shifted to the colorful Drell that still owed him a drink but he figured he would be busy with Shepard.

_Probably fucking her again._

He rubbed his eyes and groaned in aggravation, throwing his arms up to flop back against his bed to stare at the white ceiling, doing everything in his power not to think of the beautiful redhead and how fucked up he made everything between them now.

Truthfully he didn’t even want to go to the club but old habits died hard and he really felt like he needed a drink. The worst kind of defense mechanism. Getting up he grabbed his jacket and made his way out of the apartment and to the bar.

 

* * *

 

               

Purgatory was the same as any of the other clubs used to lose yourself for the night. The pulse grinding music that vibrated through the floors into your soul was enough to shake any person to their core. It was all the same to him. The grinding bodies, the cheap women, the watered down drinks. Glancing around he smelled the air, nothing but sex and sweat and the possibilities of pretending you were someone else for just a few hours.

Flagging down the bartender he ordered his first drink, downing it in three heavy gulps before ordering one more. Turning he rested against the edge of the bar waiting for the drink he just downed to work its way into his system as he nursed his second, a group of women catching his attention upon the dance floor.

He watched as they smiled at him three asari’s and two human females, one which had a long mane of dark red hair that traveled to her waist. He wondered if it was as soft as Shepard’s. He realized he stared too long when the human female tilted her head and indicated for him to join her upon the dance floor. Frowning deeply he glanced away and turned back to face the bar finishing his second drink in one last heavy gulp before signaling for another.

“You might want to slow down on those.” He heard a female voice beside him say a dark grey asari with lighter grey freckled spots across her cheeks and neck. Her dark blue eyes staring at him in worry.

“ **You** might need to mind your business.” He snapped at her grabbing his third drink and taking another deep gulp before staring down into the dark liquid.

“Hard day?” She asked gently making Kolyat scoff and laugh bitterly.

“That’s an understatement.”

“Need someone to talk to?”

“No offense…but go fuck yourself. I’m not interested.”

“Wow you’re an asshole. I was trying to be nice.”

“No one is ever nice. Everyone always wants something.”

The female looked at him thoughtfully and nodded in agreement as she reflected on what he said. “Yeah…you’re probably right.” She answered sliding in closer to him.

One of her fingers sliding over the sleeve of his leather jacket and up his arm. Kolyat glared at her and fought back the urge to hiss in anger.

“You’re an asshole but you still look sexy as sin. I’m sure your one hell of a ride. Want to get out of here…so maybe I don’t have to go fuck myself?”

Kolyat licked his lips and shook his head in anger. What the fuck was with these women? _You’re an exotic lay, nothing more, remember?_ He blinked at the asari slowly, trying his best to swallow down the rocks in his throat.

_‘I don’t want you! Can’t you get that through your head?’_

_"_ Yeah…fine…let’s get out of here. Whatever you want.” 

“Great.” She smiled brightly waiting until he gulped down the rest of his drink to follow closely behind her. Fuck Shepard and giving him a glimpse at something more. This was probably all he was good for, right?

 

* * *

 

 

Two hours later he was cupping his hands full of water to gargle and spit into the hotel bathroom sink. Wishing he was home brushing his teeth and scrubbing the taste of that woman’s skin off his tongue. He had licked her without thinking and all he could focus on now was whether he should shower now or wait until he got home. The thought of scrubbing his body clean of her was nagging at him as he washed his face, rubbing his eyes wearily.

_I have to stop doing this._

When he first started going home with women he was genuinely having fun. Partying hard, drinking hard, fucking even harder and after almost two years of it, he felt like it was starting to get old.

 _Because nothing can compare to her now_.

Kolyat sighed heavily and leaned on the counter and closed his eyes. This is fucking ridiculous. Why was it her that he had to fall for? Ever since he had kissed Shepard he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Being with her at the party had changed his whole perspective of her. Even what she said to him didn’t make him want her any less. Even the thought of that other drell touching her, kissing her, bringing her to orgasm only made him want to beat the shit out of Feron but still want her. He just had this unrelenting feeling that it should be him instead of Feron.

 _Who the hell are you to think that with a woman you fucked lying several feet away?_ _Fucking hypocrite._

He laughed bitterly pinching the bridge of his nose. He was a hypocrite. It was none of his business who she fucked and vise versa. One thing was sure though, Kolyat couldn’t do this anymore. He had to stop going home with random strangers and start focusing on things that really matter. His detective exam was over and he knew he would qualify. He knew that exam book in and out, studied his ass off at every opportunity to make sure he would get the position.  Although he didn’t know what level he would qualify for. It didn’t matter…this was what he truly wanted to do with his life. Protect others, and be something other than a fuck up.

_No more random strangers. No more fucking around. This was the last time._

Kolyat heard the door behind him, the soft footsteps of the woman approaching. He sighed again deeply. This was it. This really was the last time. The last awkward after meeting. He would get dressed, go home, have one more drink and scrub himself until his scales were raw. After…he was going to permanently put a stop to the bed-hopping. It just wasn’t doing something for him anymore. None of these women were making him feel anything but disgust for himself…and he was done with it.

“Just give me another moment. I’ll head out soon.”

Kolyat murmured in aggravation righting himself as he shut off the water glancing at the asari’s face in the mirror as she approached closely behind him. Something suddenly seeming off. His whole body abruptly tensed up, his instincts flaring in warning, something dark flashing in her eyes. He turned around rapidly to push her away but froze as he felt the metal of a gun barrel press against his chest.

“Don’t worry…this will only take a moment.” The Asari licked her lips and grinned maliciously. The click of a loading sink, the only sound in the silence.


End file.
